Whats the worst thing that can happen to you as a guardsmen in 40k?

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if games workshop goes bankrupt do you think someone else will the by rights to 40k?

What about slaneesh sluts?

Better focus, what's the less worse that could happen to them?

Aren't Hasbro already trying to buy the rights to 40k?

They will boinky you, but you won't have fun. At least i hope you don't have fun.

"Long shall be your suffering. Joyous be your pain".

please no.. not hasbro
sweet Emprah no...

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Getting deployed.

I'm going to say getting stranded in the warp

Being born.

>that one thick daemonette

Being captured by Emperors Children or Dark Eldar. Normal humans have little to fear when they die because their souls aren't conscious, and basically dissolve in the warp.

The only people i would trust with it are FFG and Mantic and only FFG has a snowball's chance in hell of getting it.

What's wrong with that? Doesn't everyone already hate GW? Is there something awful I don't know about hasbro?

They say being captured by the Emperor's Children is the worst fate imaginable. Yes, that means even worse than Deldar.
>Tau

Why? The sterilization meme only happened to those who rebelled much later and by 40k standards they got off lightly.

>"Look, guys! They're taking a photograph for the Imperial Times!"

>pre painted models

Yeah no.

GW still raking in $, as much as people love to say it's dying it's not. sure they've betrayed their customers and themselves, but still not going out of business any time soon

Different user but I had the same outlook as him. Now that you say that OH SWEET EMPEROR THE HORROR!

Sounds fun though.

Least worse? Probably getting drafted and being put into a rear echelon unit and never seeing combat. Your job would pretty much being moving supply's from one location to the next.

If we're only talking about front line soldiers than I'd say fighting orks. Guardsmen do alright against works as long as they have the proper tools for the job. If they don't things go bad horribly fast but there isn't anything the guard fight more than orks so normally high command is able to take care of that problem. Of course that can go to hell if it's a desperate situation, your supplies get warp delayed, or something completely unexpected happens.

Get captured by the Dark Eldar, and turned into torture-battery, before being experimented on and turned into some horrific monstrosity that is set loose against your old regiment.

Why would Slaaneshi sluts boink some random chode? They have all the magically and technologically enhanced chodes they could want among their male and hermaphroditic members.

Though I guess he might make a good bathroom dildo.

Easy. Sadism and dominance that comes from ravishing an enemy combatant. It's not just about getting sex. But if we're being accurate most Slaaneshi fags are so numb to standard sexy time that they'll just brutally gore everyone, sexually though.

Oh, that is pretty bad

Can't you just remove the paint and repaint it yourself?

Genuinely curious... Whats so bad about being a capture of the Emperors Children?

All the things so far are bad, but they're just bad experiences that are likely fatal.

But dying in battle, even horrifically, gets it over with (assuming no afterlife-torture): being a survivor, seeing all your friends in the regiment die gruesomely, be merged into a new regiment and seeing the friends you make there die as well, that really sucks.
You get promoted, get wounded, get put back together by the surgeons and the admech, and you get back in the fight.
You see your company ripped apart around you, but you survive again, get injured again, and get promoted again as you hold the line.
You make new friends, and see them worn away by the Guard's attrition, again and again. You stop making friends, care less and less about the men under your command - they'll just die anyway, they always do. You command battalions now, and you know they fear and despise you in equal measure.
Eventually you're pensioned off, promoted to governor of a stinking hive - a reward for all the years of service, to go with your bionic parts, the cocktail of stims you need every day and your shiny medals.
The other nobles hate you worse than the troopers did, they look down their noses at this battered old bastard that rose bloodily through the ranks to become their leader, and they scheme against you constantly.
But still, you try and do your duty - it's all you've got, there are no friends at the top - and it seems to be getting slowly better.
Then, from nowhere it seems, your hive is under attack, and everything you have comes crashing down - whether internal rebellion, eldar raiders or daemonic attack, it all goes to hell.

And this is where the defeat comes, when the DEldar or Daemons torture you - not on the front lines, in a senseless battle, but when you've already endured all of that and lost everything else

They will horrifically torture you in ways your mind can't comprehend, then probably use your distilled corpse as a drug while feeding your soul to daemons.

You say that but...I did a quick google search and it seems that the most recent announcement was of a lower projected profit. And further more, they seem to have being dropping in the number of sales per year, although they are still turning a (marginal) profit increase compared to years prior. This isnt a sustainable business model and we are already seeing the downsides of it.

If you want a giant shemale horsecock in your as with a condom made of razor blades, then go ahead.

>that condom

I'll just have to convince it to bareback me desu.

Or skullfucking you through each others assholes, while deamonettes finger fuck each other with you lungs.

They have spikes on their dicks, the razor condom is so your blood can act as lube.

Surviving when the rest of your squad all dies

or shit as the case may be.

Tau is the best possible outcome. Get better equipment and treatment. Deldar is the absolute worst. Not even Chaos is worse. They keep you alive for millenia long bouts of torture.

But blood makes bad lube.

Captured by Dark Eldar

Emp's Children is said to be the worst fate, which means worse than Deldar, somehow.

Fabulous Bill needed to go to the Homunculi to learn how to be a better dick. At best, he's a good student of the Deldar.

Survive the battle

Where does it say that?

Go to Fulgrim's entry on the Lexicanum and Ctrl F the phrase: Warbands of the Emperor's Children are thankfully rare.

I'm lazy and on mobile (no ctrl F).

Be in a tired-as-fuck setting.

Haemonculi covens literally make buildings and rooms out of still living prisoners. Not sure how sentient you could be once you're made into a torture chamber, but knowing DE, they probably found a way to keep your mind intact to appreciate the suffering you experience.

>stop liking what I don't like

I would assume that the Emperor's Children aren't just capable of normal tortures, but can damn your soul to be cursed by Slaanesh as well, even if they aren't as skilled at committing physical atrocity as the DE are. The Haemonculi might keep you alive for a century so they can feed off your pain, but when you eventually die, that's the end of it.

A century? Deldar kept Guyan Sethe alive for 1,500 years and then some for his shenanigans. Human souls don't retain conscientiousness like in the warp like Eldar souls, so being claimed by Slaanesh isn't as much of a biggie for a guardsman.

in the fluff is the torture that deldar or emps children do discribed

That was one guy who particularly pissed them off your average joe would get a century at most.

Deldar literally run on pain. It's in their best interests to squeeze as much agony as they can get out of every last soul. Be you private Billy Bitchcakes or the God-Emperor himself, they're gonna fuck you real slow.

Best case scenario as a DE slave is to be used in a wych arena. Yeah your death will be slow, and drawn out, but you aren't going to be tortured for very long relatively.

Yeah, Wyches are pretty much winning the lottery in Comorragh. God help you if you get sent to the Covens though.

emprah... you ment emprah, right?

The best fate for a human in Commorragh is going to Null City and becoming a mercenary for them. Of course that's probably not an option if you're captured by them.

were the haemonculi inspired by josef mengal? they seem like it.