Playing DnD

What

i dont ge it

>4e
-_-

youre doin god's work son

>bread or eggs or onions or anything mixed in
This is a thing "people" do to things they dare call burgers?

Deus Vult

>GM throws a monster that's like, five levels too powerful against the party
>conventional attacks are useless
>every time we try to be clever he goes 'nah that does nothing'
>'c'mon guys, there's a solution!'
>thinks we want to sit for an hour and a half getting murdered trying to guess the random ass achiles' heel he gave the monster
>gets mad when we run from these kinds of fights

>whole group agrees to play family of sailors
>I am proud, strong dad, love my family
>our ship is raided, we're outnumbered 4 to 1
>allow them to take our stuff
>captain also tries to cut off my son's hand
>no
>tackle him into ocean and kill him
>half my party dies in combat that ensues, including my son

Was there a reason for the character to want to take your kid's hand, or did it come off as the GM trying to goad your characters into combat?

>Lawful Neutral
>Paladin

I'm visibly confused if that isn't a typo

Probably 4e where Paladins are just aligned to a deity or ideal. Technically, "anit-Paladins," are just Paladins of some kind of Evil.

So he was either playing 4e or another system with someone who felt like using that same ruling.

Oh shit. I forgot about 4e in its entirety.

son was talking a lot of shit and honestly deserved it. We also had lots of ways to handle the combat better, we had artillery on our ship, explosives, and most of the enemies were loading stuff onto their ship so it would have been easy to sink them along with their ship. But we definitely weren't supposed to fight these guys until several levels later.

Wait--so from a story perspective, what did the GM expect to happen? Were you guys supposed to let him take the kid's hand and let it serve as a motivation thing? Were you supposed to fight them and lose the amount of dudes you lost, but have the captain--or at least, most of the pirates--get away?

Ordinarily, I feel Veeky Forums is a bit too quick to blame the GM for all of a game's problems, even those that are obviously a player's fault. So I'm trying to pick the situation apart a little, because it's kind of odd. From a story-telling perspective, I'm just confused about what your GM had in mind.

I want to be clear that the son was part of our party, one of the players, age like 30-something, not a small child or anything like that. We were supposed to let the pirates do whatever they wanted, since they outnumbered us heavily.

What the fuck was he expecting you to do, actually figure it out? Did he not offer any rolls to notice shit?

I'll admit, I once did this as a GM, giving the players really difficult clues with like, only one way of noticing things and putting the pieces together and it was intentionally difficult, until I saw how much trouble some of the players had. That and I read some RPG theory about when to use dice. I now firmly believe that everything done as the character, when there's a meaningful chance of success/failure, should be rolled, not left to a player's meta knowledge or abilities.

he had a contrived idea of 'how players should 'be original'', which is to say, he thought that it would work out like that examples of play 'Oh, i remember THIS from three sessions ago, and how it links to THAT that the old wizard mentioned in the middle of his speech, and...' etc.

He blamed our lapses in memory on 'us not caring enough about roleplaying', rather than the fact that sessions were between three weeks to two months apart.

I'm all for being attentive but that just seems unfair. Especially with time gaps like that.

one fight was with a dragon that was level FIFTEEN, I shit you not, while we were level six.

What he wanted us to do? Tempt it with a rare cheese that frankly none of us remembered we had, because he just mentioned it being something cool at a market to buy.

The hint for that? When the castle-place was burglarized, we asked what was stolen, the king mentioned that there were several rare tomes, objects of value, and cheese from the kitchen. That was it. One reference. Three weeks earlier.

Yeah that is definitely a moment to include flashbacks or memory rolls. The serious oversight of player/character memory disconnect is something any sparsely scheduled game is at the fault of the gm.

Why do you keep playing with such a fucking knob? Who the fuck expects stolen cheese to be suspicious? Maybe the goddamn burglar was peckish. Maybe the exotic cheese in the market was just detailed description or worldbuilding. You have to fucking call attention to these things, not expect people to make up outlandish explanations for mundane shit.

God I want to smack this guy.

It's the same in 5e, and really I've never played a game where the rules for alignment requirements were actually followed.

and of course, in an attempt at 'realism', any victory we achieve is entirely unsatisfying. We take out the local thieves guild? It's being run by an elderly man who was using the funds for an orphanage and now all those orphans starve with nothing we can do about it. Slay an awakening ancient evil in it's tomb? Go to the king and ask for a reward? Congrats, now we're criminals because 'ancestor desecration'.

I'd understand these kind of 'what the hell, you crazy murderhobos' moments if we were actually playing as murderhobos, rather than licensed mercenaries doing jobs we're paid to do.

>running DnD game
>girl joins group, one of those weirdos that's shy and likes roleplaying strong, silent type fighters
>female
>fighter
>this triggers me, I proceed to educate her that warrior women are unrealistic and this is a historically accurate medieval fantasy game
>tell her she should probably play a ranger or Mage instead.
>another player calls me a dumbass
>white knight autist detected
>kick them both out, game goes on
>mfw next session, rest of the group mysteriously vanishes
>mfw they all got a new DM and the white knight and shy girl are now dating

Why do we allow women in our hobby again?

Okay, is it bad that I can't see the downside to gladiator warforged cleric slave with a tendency to upgrade themselves in odd ways?

I get it, it's one of those 'start a long argument about how you're actually "That Guy" and hope it goes off the rails in a humorous way' posts!

>join D&D game
>western fantasy is boring so I just bring the stat sheet I made for my kitsune fursona
>DM complains about the stats for my dual katanas and says they're overpowered
>clearly doesn't understand the superiority of Japanese steel and craftsmanship, try to explain as much to him
>he's not having it, the absolute baka
>eventually get asked to leave, on my way out I tell the DM "if you're too foolish to understand the katana's power, perhaps I'll have to show it to you firsthand. Watch your back, kid."
>can see the fear in his eyes
*sigh*
F*ing gaijins...

Not him but didn't you read the first four posts including the OP?

That's kind of been the whole point of the thread so far. Thanks for stopping by though.

>knowing how to read
No I'm a barbarian

Loser

This is why I always end up GMing at mine.

They have to drink along with me to stay on the same wavelength.

Here's the retroclone