Your party is beset by a pack of dire angora rabbits

You have no idea where the things actual body is and just grabbing hair gives it room to turn and bite you.

"Hail and well met frien...argh they're going for my throat!" Say the LG pacifistic rogue.

Barbarian charges and does the power attack and cleave dance.

Spirit shaman starts summoning thoqas to burn them.

Battle comes to a sudden and abrupt halt as the GM suddenly rolls a shit load of nat 1 on fort saves and another horde of roving monsters fall prey to our surprisingly eloquent and well spoken pet basilisk Rocky.

Comical round fluffy boulders are all that remain waiting to confuse further adventurers that travel this trail.

>transmute hair to nitro-glycerin
>literally make those rabbits dynamite

Quickly domesticate them and farm them to supplement the party's rations

Every encounter can be profitable

>Setting flammable things on fire is a fucking cantrip
I guess the wizard sets one on fire every round while everyone else Tries to find an escape route free from giant balls of screaming fire.

Teleport them all to the Klingon starship.

Setting them on fire would also ignite the forest around you.

It would also likely ignite the tank, as they are all over him.

Unleash dire angora cats.

He's a tank for a reason, and currently that reason is tanking the wizard's fireball.

Rabbit fur is combustible, not flammable. Flammable means it's prone to catching fire immediately with just an instant of exposure to flame, like gasoline or gunpowder. It takes more effort to set something that's just combustible on fire, like wood or fur.

I had this disturbing thought. What if aliens decided to breed us for 'cute' features and other garbage that hindered us similarly?

Then anime could be real

I bet these are a result of Nazi Eugenics!

>implying bunnies that have clearly become super saiyan can be dire

That said, I flee from the pack of Goku-buns.

Shit. You're right, that would be deliciously disturbing. Anyone know scifi that does this?

There was a HFY copypasta going around a while ago that was basically this. Damned if I can find it though

This is going to sound like a noob question (and I guess it is), but what does "dire" usually mean when it's attached to an animal encounter in the context of tabletop rpgs?

It's an animal but bigger and badder. Like a boar three times larger is a dire boar. It's a D&D quirk and started with a real extinct animal known as a dire wolf. They're big wolves.

These threads are just making fun of it by taking it to a dumb extent while using as an excuse to post cute or creepy animals.

>It's an animal but bigger and badder. Like a boar three times larger is a dire boar. It's a D&D quirk and started with a real extinct animal known as a dire wolf. They're big wolves.

Ah, okay. That makes sense now that I think about it. Thanks, user.

Don't forget the spikes. Dire animals always have spiky features on them, because spikes are dire or some shit.

you know what a dire wolf is, don't you? it's like a wolf... but dire.

they can rip your anus apart in seconds.

>Large enough to ride
>Fluffy
>Can sell their fluff for cashmoney
>It grows back at insane speed
Name even one disadvantage of having a dire angora rabbit animal companion

None of your carrots will ever be safe again

I love this idea, it'd make for a great cosmic horror story.

Can you even fathom the terror of being captured by a Great Old One?, the crushing despair of realizing that to them you are just a pet, an irresistible qt3.14, doomed to be be subject to tummy rubs, playing fetch and cuddling with tentacles for all eternity?

The sheer thought is blood-curling to you, I'm sure.

Theres something called All Tomorrow's.
Its not exactly "cute" but humanity basically starts to genetically engineer themselves to survive in space and on different planets then the things on those planets before their galaxy spanning empire meets the Qu.
The Qu are aliens who have a massive god complex. The Qu believe fervently only they have the right to do these things and humans doing so is a perversion. Angry that humans think they can fuck around and change up themselves and other species using genetic engineering without their say they embarked on a genocidal/transformative process.
They go on to visit every human controlled world, demolish their defenses if they put up a fight, and totally re-engineer the biosphere(humanity included) to their liking.
Depending on how much resistance they put up determined how much "justice" needed doling out. Some worlds ended up edenic Art World where literally everything was aesthetically pleasing to whatever Qu inhabited it and requiring artificial upkeep. Paradise like worlds that were more for Qu to point and laugh at like you would at animals in the zoo doing retarded shit cause they've never actually experienced anything. It goes on like this basically depending on the present Qu's whims and wants. Notably one world put up enough of a fight to fend off 2 waves of Qu and succumb to the third. This earned them a rare place on the shit list, as most colonies not even mars (earths dead) put up that kind of a fight. They were genetically re-engineered into large square mats of human flesh and muscle that could interlock with its neighbor using what few numbed and dumbed down nerves it was allowed. This new abomination was also allowed to keep its eyes and conciousness so it could eternally suffer as its job and existence was a filter feeder that the Qu would drop their garbage and literal shit on to be broken down and the Colonials below got to see it all coming and think how shit their new lived were.

After a while the Qu left the galaxy for another on after converting every planets ecosystem into something they fancied, lounging around for a few millenia, then getting bored with it all. The book picks up pace around here as it shows in pictures and small paragraphs the rise and fall of humanity under the Qu and ultimately what they got turned into and now covers what happened to those particular human races. Most died out as they were almost entirely reliant on Qu help or they died in the evolutionary rat race whole the book touches on those but it really follows the few who made actual progress until they died or the end of the story a billion years later.

Theres a whole lot of backstory like human cyborgs that are just brains in gravity controlling spheres and humans that escape the Qu by hiding in space where their brains grew to sround 90% their body weight and they casually contemplated shit that made the universe break but its mostly for the body horror as you see the myriad and disturbing forms that humanity ends up as.

Wow. My autocorrect mangled that shit.

...

Varying degrees of want. Really it's my descendants I'd be worried about if I have any. And what they'd force me to screw in order to have said descendants. We as humans have made things that cannot breed without our intervention like the silk worm and often through lots of shameless forced incest. So imagine what they would do. On one hand as a first generation human I would be free from their alterations, maybe, but on the other you have to fuck some weird mutant and then your mutant daughter. Ugh. God.

And I thought the idea of genetic/cloning piracy and clone based "meat farms" were bad.

So. Are we all agreed on nanomachines for transhumanism instead?

Gotta have it all, fampai. Genetically engineered cyborgs jock full of nanomachines.

Don't worry, user, you aren't cute. They would just euthanize you.

What makes you think that isn't already happening?

I dunno man. We are still selectively breeding pugs for more squished faces. If that passes as cute and wantable i'm sure some alien will be using me for a big and stocky breed that doesn't require sunblock to not die from sun exposure.

>Image
Oh look, Humell!

You're right, I'm handsome. But we don't know what they consider "cute". It may not be close to our standards of beauty.

Because we're mostly just breeding with who we want. It'd take some kind of cultural phenomenon to slowly change the collective population's tastes. Wait a minute

Oh. My. God.

In my dm's custom setting goblins afraid of them. Now I imagining, what would happen to them, if they see dire variation.

What about dire AIDS?

>Destruction rains from the heavens!

>like subway commuterrs
Pretty sure I've got the pdf around here somewhere. Lemme see if I can find it.

...

>>be barbarian with decent damage reduction

I pet them.

ALL of them.

>Throw some carrots at them
>Kill them while they're distracted

Gonna need pics for proof, fampai.

At reasonably advanced levels, not even sufficiently, the boundaries between genetic engineering and nano-machines will probably end up becoming extremely blurry.

It was actually pretty garbage. The idea that humans were so cute that they took over the universe, with every line of human dialogue being twee as fuck.

Got it

Is it bad I fapped to this?

I fapped to the edenic sex world too, user.

nah, 90% of it was pretty fapworthy for me.
>The fungal mat people
>the deer people with full sapience and no hands to express it with
>The parasite people enslaving less intelligent humans
>the lizard herders being bred by their own herds

Honestly, I find it hard to find body horror that doesn't turn me on...

You are a strange person.

>Strange
>On Veeky Forums
news at 11

>Gene engineering victory

I can see this as a soft take-over instead of the usual Exterminated people tend to prefer. Groups like the Culture might be more willing to change hearts and minds by changing bodies. An aggressive, Tiger-like alien might be more manageable if they were smaller, or less prone to berserker outrages, and you could do that by messing with their Veeky Forums and Reddit and mucking about with the medication that gets produced.

JUST LOOK AT THE BONES

You'd think they would intentionally turn themselves into robots just to go "Neener neener neener! You can't genetically engineer something that's made out of metal, can you?!"

Software engineer speaking, MUWAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

>What is ROM?

Angora template when?

Guys it's okay.

The Qu will turn most of us into monsters, but our star babies will escape in meteors, team up with other aliens, and then beat them later.

It'll be fine
IT'LL BE FINE!

So long as i get to be a sex world inhabitant i will gladly welcome our new overlords.

You're going to have to spell out that acronym for me, because I can't think of any ROM that would matter.

Read Only Memory.

Something you can't overwrite.

Yeah, that's what I thought you were being retarded about.

Pray tell, how do you expect an entity that cannot edit any portion of itself to do anything but sit there existing? Either you place your whole self in ROM and become a glorified and very technologically advanced painting, or you don't and I can freely dick with all the portions that aren't write protected.

And for that matter, if I'm in a position to forcibly dick with the genetic code of an entire planet, what's going to stop me from just copying them all over to the storage media of my choosing?

I read a manga awhile back that had something similar. Aliens came and gathered up people to eat and use as pets. Really disturbing and made me feel bad for cows

I'm not the guy you were originally responding to, just the one who replied about what ROM was.

I'm under he impression that human level AI can't really use ROM, or at least that was what MG Rising taught me.

Gantz was pretty freaky about that. It's really disturbing to see that go down.

Then you have to remember that a lot of folks on the internet and on Veeky Forums have that as a fetish.

I'm not PETA, I swear; but this thread and reading more about breedig animals for novelty results or exaggerated aesthetic features has started to make me think it's animal abuse. I mean sure there's bloodhounds or silk worms and then there's modern pedigree pitbulls having health issues and a ton of man made hybrids that make you go 'why did this poor thing need to exist?'.

>fetish

No voreshit and more the pampered pet part in my case.

>not reading that doujinshi were humans are literally cows
>talking about Gantz like it wasn't mainstream
That's how I know you're new.

Oh, and I forgot
>mangahere

A lot of those animals are just too damaged to breed into the general population, so there is that to look to at least.

Fun Fact: We cause that even we don't intend to. While lots of Wolves and Cougars and Bears are very dangerous, the ones that wouldn't think twice about attacking humans have long since been put down. The ones that succeeded are the ones that are more skittish, less willing to get in our way.

>I'm not the guy you were originally responding to, just the one who replied about what ROM was.
Fair enough. Consider the insult retracted.

>human level AI can't really use ROM
Any program can use ROM, you just can't have the entire computing system using ROM if you want anything to happen.

Basically, ROM just says "Never ever change this". That can actually be a good thing, if you know something won't need to change or you don't want it changing.
For example, if you're using a flash drive full of debugging and anti-virus utilities to do technical support, it's a very VERY good idea to set it to read-only mode so any possible malware on the machine you're working on can't fuck with your toolkit.
On the other hand, if the entire system is ROM, then nothing can ever really happen. This is generally a bad thing, since the general idea of computing is for something to happen.

Wow, so subtle.

It's shit like this that makes me hate anime and manga. Is there no word for "subtlety" in Japanese? Do manga writers and anime directors have so little respect for their audience that they feel this is the only way they will get their point across.

Also, people trying to control what I eat can just fuck right off.

It's an edgy as fuck manga for teenagers about dead people being forced to kill aliens, this stuff is only there for shock value. Besides it's not like the western equivalents gave a fuck about their readers or about subtlety in their agendas either.

And To Serve Man was subtle? I don't think that was necessarily the message in Gantz either.

>To Serve Man

To Serve Man was 40-page brick joke. There really is no comparison.

you don't know how a forest work right ?
Would have to be pretty fucking dry....

We shear them to make superior material out of and release them naked and miserable back into the wild.

Oh who am I kidding. We're adopting them all.