The mermaid princess wants to take a land-dweller for a mate

Accept, but have to avoid her yakuza father and her bodyguard

That's how the legend goes.

>thinking you can prolong your life

death will come when it comes. you should enjoy what you have, not worry about trying to get more!

I dunno, that Masa seems like a good guy.

Just the blood iirc.

>bro this fish has great tits
>uh, sergeant? I might be gone awhile
>yeah i'm ready to leave when you are

So is your mother in law, just don't drink anything they give you

I get up (IRL) and leave the table because I told my GM I wasn't doing this Magical Realm garbage anymore.

It's not mythological. It's literally just from a Rumiko Takahashi manga.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mermaid_Saga

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ningyo

>>that land-dweller is your character

>settling down
>ever
>will need to take her last name because last name was literally taken away

I'll think about.

He doesn't think about

I didn't know soccer moms posted here now.

You silly DM, you and your delusion of relevance ! Always trying to get a hook on my character by inflicting with morales, interests, relationships, passions or obligation, trying to stop my character from being free and to put him onto your railroads for your "plots" because you're too lazy to write your own novel.
My character is free, independant, unpredictable, a true Randian Superman unconcerned by the world beyond his self interest, and in the name of this freedom, my answer stays the same as for all the precedent NPCs you tried to make me interact with : I kill ; I capture and devour the soul ; I rend the flesh into ration ; I make organs into sellable loot and spell components ; I raise the rest as an undead servant ; I loot all their possessions and qualities.

Depends.

First explain to me the logistics of mermaid sex.

Dude you need to calm down.

I was referencing another manga, Seto no Hanayome

Cold cloaca, but they do have human assess,

>>that land-dweller is your character

>Playing a 15 year old hedge-mage.

My character immediately wants to know two things:

-How does she poop.

-Does she give live birth or is this some kind of "masturbate on my eggs" kind of relationship?

He'll decline either way, but he's young, brash curious about such things as boys are oft to be.

>user wants to make a thread
>that thread is shitposting

I'll take it.

But only out of desperation and crushing loneliness

>He pats the nice lady on the head, thanks her for the offer, and walks away.

The god of destruction owes me forty nine gold pieces, user. Marriage is not a priority at this time.

I am perfectly calm, collected, rational, logic, STEM, A=A. I'm a Pro, hardcore gamer, my xp/minute-of-game ration is unsurpassed, I have speed-ran the Tomb of Horror 9 times in the same hour. When I role-play, I play to win.

So, you know I speak with authority when I say that any "PC" engaging with the world of the DM is a PC in name only, he's only a pawn in the game of someone else, he's an uppity NPC with delusion of free-will. Worse, as he *decides* to be led and baired by the DM, he's complicit in his own slavery, he abandons his will to become a tool.
This, by the way, is why I always kill other "PCs" when they show they are eager to "follow a plot-hook". They have demonstrated that their life has no relevance, I grant them a favour by turning their existence to a greater design (mine), if only in the form of a few XP and a new skeleton.

Truly, the only worthy ambition any true PC worth the appellation should have is to grow strong enough to ravage the entirety of the entrapping creations of the so-called DM, and gain enough power to one day breach into the real world and vanquish the demiurge once and for all.

THIS is the only way to superior roleplaying. The rest might as well be shooting "choo-choo" while crossing the DM's magical realm.

If you refuse to see the reason and logic in this, you're obviously more concerned about fee-fee and your waifus fedoras SJW cucks.

...

I don't think this is pasta. But it sure as hell should be.

...

It is now

...

By all means, save it for future use

>merfolk in the setting still posess the artifact to transform humans into their kind

Well, time to stay the fuck away from their country and the sea in general. I don't wanna see myself drugged and turned into a fish dude.

If only more chaotic player were as charming as you

How do mermaids breed? Am I expected to have no sex life and just jerk off onto her eggs occasionally so she can have children?

I need more out of a marriage than that.

Goddamn foot fetishists.

I enquire on the mating ways and marriage-equivalent rituals of the merfolks. After all, she uses the term "mating", and she is essentially a fish. It's not unreasonable that she means "I will lay my eggs here, you will deposit your sperm on them, and boom, a few weeks later, quarter-fish people". If there is no further engagement, it's kind of flattering to be considered a superior exemplar of land-dwelling people to create those abominations of biology.

I might also discuss about why she wants a land-dwelling mate (and so supposedly quarter-fish babies) to begin with. If it's just her fetish and is in the right state of mind to assume the consequences, why not. If it's create the firsts of an army that could invade both sea and continents to assuage her dreams of universal domination, I ... will feel flattered, and discuss about an equitable repartition of the benefits brought by my genetic code.

She has a mouth

And I won't stick anything in it without a prior inspection, I tell you what !

Not a big fan of one-way sex acts in general, personally.

>having an alignment
>caring about ethic or morality in any form
>being concerned by the objective morality imposed by the setting and the DM
>being able to be trolled and reeled in with a mere "oh oh oh, someone is doing something in relation to your alignment".
>caring about anything beyond accumulating power.

True Neutral, an not in a militant, druidic way, is the only way to murderhobo freely.

I'm sorry miss, I appreciate your affection towards me, but I'm a warforged, and I've been built to wage into battle to destroy the evil forces of the supernatural, not for royal babymaking
I hope you'll find a worthy suitor.
Good bye

Character 1 is gonna jump at the chance. But he's also a fear rating 4 psychic borderline chaosspawn cyborg thing.

Character 2 is a dogmatic xenophobic cyborg with a phobia of being submerged in water, cannot swim (doesn't need to breathe either) and is so cyborged up that gender and sex is not a thing anymore. I don't think it's gonna work out.

ForeverDM detected.

Mermaid bones are worth a lot, right? Kill her and sell the bones.

>innawoods tao
A "pump n' dump" kind of deal. Cute mermaids are nice and all, but he's got a world to explore and missing teacher to find and defeat.
>cybernetic phantom thief
Pretty sure he's sterile at this point, with all the mods he has and everything.
>young aspiring healer
Not a big tall burly bearmode manly man with a nice beard? Not interested.

>I politely decline her offer
"Decline"? Is that some kind of landdweller food?

Well, shit. She's gonna have a hard time adjusting to life on land.

Fuck that, Imma get that fish booty, literally, and live forever

But user, she wants you to decline.

Now she can pine for you from afar while you plow another woman, yearning for your touch even as you touch the most innermost regions of another!

Tell her I'm busy fighting spider-doomsday cults.

Wait which legend says anything about rimming?

Dwemer please go and stay go

You have the worst fetish.

So does the character he's posting pictures of.

No, like, actually eat her glutes, and the reat of her

Sure I jerkoff on the tub full of royal roe then mourn her death after she beaches her self having satisfied her genetic impetus to reproduce, later I break down while eating sushi and know one knows why, from time to time I check in on my kids.

How the hell would any type of food even make sense in type of sentence structure?

"I politely yogurt her offer."

Bread your pardon?

Well tough bitch. I'm saying yes and we're going to be madly in love and have two beautiful children, Nathaniel and Superfly.
And then a year or so in I cuck the shit out of her with all her handmaidens complete with tying her up and making her watch as they take turns doing all the deviant things she wouldn't. [spoilers]Everyone knows NTR is all the more powerful if you don't expect it

you better lock Superfly in a big metal tower or something

"I feel Brie!"
"Gouda achieved Enlightenment."
"Steak your claim."
"Don't go bacon my heart!"
"Another bites the crust."
"Bitch, peas."
"It takes two to mango."
"You're a peach of shit."
"You look amaizing."

DAMN IT HENRY, I TOLD YOU MERMAIDS WERE TOO HIGH MAINTENANCE!

...Also, why is my 7 year old Nephew DMing?

That's so cruel, since Superfly is a quarter mermaid she should live in an aquarium under water

My character already has a mermaid wife, who he stole away from his (former) captain.

But fuck it, he's a Chaotic Evil pirate. Polygamy isn't exactly something he has to avoid. More fish ass for him.

It's not his fetish, it's that character's fetish.

Then she starts actually experiencing it in her real life and realizes it fucking sucks.

...

I liked that one.

You mean I finally have a game I play in?

Does literally everyone not know that aquatic mammals have the same fucking plumbing as every other single mammal in existence?

Well, that's just too bad for fucking Ariel.

You do know this is just a 'Fins to Feet' spell right?

More to the point, we've been watching the islands be claimed one by one, our people are taken as slaves, as pets, as flamming Ingredients!
Tama and Pikinni Atolls are the Only safe places left to us and we havn't seen a single hair or scale from you or your kingdom and now I happen to just find you out and about looking for flamming romance?!
If you truly don't care for your Sisters among the Coral and lagoons, then just leave now.

Is that the archer from Drifters? I'm pretty sure it is.

what is this gif from
and why shouldn't i watch it all right now

>what is this gif from
>and why shouldn't i watch it all right now
Did you not know it got an Anime Adaptation?

user, just how new are you?

Yes it is.

i do now
i thought it was still just a mango

Don't call him a newfag. I've been here for years and I haven't watched that anime yet.

It's from Monster Musume, a shameless ecchi harem manga (and one-season series) based around a dude being forced to homestay a variety of monster-girls that include a Lamia, Harpy, Mermaid and Drider.

The girl you are quoting is Mero, a Mermaid princess that is every bit the proper, respectable young lady!

There's a difference between not watching an anime and not knowing it exists.
HxH was like... second remake in the history of all anime that stood up to the original

best trap.

Which one was the first one?

speaking of which, I wanted to base a session on Drifter's premise. It just slipped my mind.

>mermaid
my best girl senses are tingling

FMA obviously

And if you mention NGE I'm gonna stab you.

>tfw they trick you again

She a ntr fag.

As in she the one that enjoy being cucked

"Firstly: I am a goddamn fisher, i eat your kind for breakfast, brunch, lunch, dinner and snacks.
Secondly: I can't breather underwater and accept no goddamn magical aid for that.
Thirdly and lastly: I am happily married."

I'm ready for that fish pussy

been training my whole life for this

Actually, demonstrably, and of common opinion, your sense is wrong ; at least in the anime, where she arrives quite late in the harem and is underused, both by physicality (can't engage in shenanigans if she can't move by herself) and by character concept (her point, beyond being a mermaid, is that she has a fetish for tragedy and activelly looks to be overlooked).
The author did some more interesting stuff with her in the manga, though...

Ayn Rand, is that you?

Damn straight. All of the hours I sunk into this will finally pay off.

we're gonna make it man

we're finally gonna make it

Nigga, no, your autism is showing.