Mage's Guild: Unlimited Power Edition

Hear ye, hear ye. I hereby call to order this meeting of the most illustrious Mages Guild! Before we begin, I would like to congratulate whoever fixed that damn leaning that the tower was doing last week, it was giving me a headache that no amount of alcohol could fix.

Now, as anyone who has a multi-millennial calendar would already know there is a resurgence of magical energy coming up, and from the looks of things it's going to be a big one. Last time this happened, we had absolute chaos, everyone tried to claim the source for their own department. I would be fine seeing that again, but the number crunchers tell me that if we try it we'll end up with no survivors. Literally none. And apparently that's a bad thing? Whatever, they won't stop bugging me about it, so figure out who's getting energy for what. Oh, and I call at least half of it. For reasons.

Welcome to the Mages' Guild. Pick a name and join in! Conflicts are resolved with d20s when needed, or with playing it out. When the thread dies on Veeky Forums, we keep it going on desustorage.org. For additional resources, please visit 1d4chan.org/wiki/Mage's_guild

I'm requesting a portion of it to reinforce the planar wards around the guild. Unless you'd all prefer an invasion from every plane simultaneously.

I, GRANITORI, SUGGEST MYSELF TO HOLD ALL THE GRAND RESURGING POWA!

And this... for some reason won't devolve into the same brawl that happens every time something like this comes up?

You couldn't hold onto a piece of twine.

That sounds like a uniquely poor idea. I question the idea that you're qualified at all.

SILENCE, MORTAL ANDROGYNOUS NECROMANCEERR!

I AM THE MOST QUALIFIED OF ALL MAGES IN THESE LANDS! FOR I CONTROL 1/4TH OF THE MAGICAL APPLESAUCE DISPENSER. DOES THAT NOT PROVE MY POWER?!

I vote we use to to make an artifact that makes the perfect bagel

I'm genuinely amazed you know that word. And come make me.

I thought you hated pastries.

Not at all. And no, yelling louder doesn't make you right.
I feel like that's getting diminishing returns out of this.

After discussing with the Department, We're requesting one percent of the load for reinforcing the mines and broadening the cavern system they've established.

hey guys hedgemage here

To be honest, I hate using my spells to hurt people. I'm not even that good at it. I learned all my magic by just figuring stuff out, zero formal training. Do I have a future in the guild, or should I keep plowing fields with magic and making my friends in the village lives easier. I heard membership fee is pretty steep...

YOU BEST HOLD YOUR TONGUE, AS THE ONLY REASON I AM NOT STRIKING YOU DOWN WITH SUCH FEROCIOUS DRAGON-LIKE STRENGTH IS DUE TO ME BEING INCLINED TO BE CIVIL!
YELLING HELPS ME EXPRESS MYSELF, THAT IS WHAT MOTHER SAID-
>Suddenly a much more quiet, annoyed voice
You never had a mother.
SHUT UP, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ME!
I'm sorry for his idioc-
YOU DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!

This one agrees, there cannot be a safer method of containing the ura'ahl this resurgence. The Zz'Br'th were nearly wiped out last cycle when they tried to make the ultimate beef jerky.

The Magical Girls Department requires ABSOLUTELY, none of the magic from the resurgence.
The membership fee isn't that bad if you join as a redrobe, which means you have some serious issues staying alive, or if you are sponsored by a department. I'm willing to sponsor your entry for the low, low price of YOUR ETERNAL SOUL!

I'm going to need a pretty hefty portion if we're going to continue producing Avalon Blue - and Faery Fire Spirits don't brew themselves!

You can get financial assistance, and if you manage to pick something up here then you'll be able to help out your village. If they can help support you then that should be a good profit. So figure out for yourself if you think you're better off starting out as a cost, so you can end up as a profit.

Oh. Right, ignored.

Really, one percent? I should run calculations to figure out how much I would need.

Screaming at the top of your lungs is civil?

What would you even do with someone's eternal soul?

Membership fee is intentionally left high, because everyone just fold time and pay it about twice in a lifetime.If you can do that, you will likely be fine.

...Dammit quin. And you wonder why your numbers are so low.

Based on what the last Resurgence had in terms of magical power up for grabs? Yeah, 1% ought to be more than enough.

Bagels are bagels.

SILENCE!

Ultimate beef jerky you say.....

DON'T IGNORE ME, MORTAL!
..He's ignoring me.
STOP IGNORING MEEEEE!
ABSOLUTELY!

Not sure yet, haven't found anyone stupid enough to give me one. I'm just practising my villain face on the hedgemage.
I do? I thought I already know it was because I'm chaotic and irresponsible. How is your department doing?

Well with the portals we currently have, and the portals we [i]shouldn't[/i] have...
>Adam pulls out his quill and starts writing out formulae in midair.

Fair enough. As long as I get at least a bit for the portals.

>Continues to ignore.

You're shit at this whole "Conversation" thing, you know that?

Irrefutable logic, there.

Do you even know how to do things with souls?

Yeah i mean, yeah. it's not going to use that much pow- *GASP* Oh Unless I increase the size of the bagel then it could use all the power!

My thoughts exactly

>Looks down
>sad puppy noise

Rolled 6 (1d20)

>As the meeting hall begins to fill itself with mages of various skills and aptitudes, there is a moment of pure silence, which is ended promptly by a loud shaking noise echoing throughout the chambers. Dust and small amounts of rubble seem to fall from the ceiling, and eventually a loud, guttural voice reverberates through everyone's skulls. (Rolling to push the Mage's Guild compound)

DID SOMEBODY SAY RESURGENCE OF MAGICAL ENERGY? HELLO THERE, R'YLEK ALKERI, BUT YOU CAN CALL ME THE GREAT DEMON AL! HAVE YOU EVER HAD A RESURGENCE OF MAGICAL POWER SO LARGE THAT YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH IT? I CAN HELP WITH THAT! MY TEAM OF PROFESSIONAL ACCOUNTANTS ARE EQUIPPED WITH THE LATEST WINDOWS MICRO-SCRY TECHNOLOGY, PERFECTLY CAPABLE OF HARNESSING AND MAINTAINING MISUNDERSTOOD ARCANE POWER. FOR A LOW, LOW FEE OF .01% and your eternal sou-JUST .01% PER MONTH OF YOUR ARCANE POWER SOURCE, WE CAN REPETITIVELY EXTRACT WEAVIC ENERGY TO POWER YOUR HOME, BUSINESS, OR COMPOUND FOR MILLENIA.

Ahem...now with that obligatory advertising out of the way, I'd like to push this building back another 100 feet, would anyone object? I swear I'm not searching for any magical artifacts hidden beneath the Guild...or something like that

That's pretty cool. I'll have to work on time folding. Best I've been able to do is skip full moon nights locally to avoid werewolves attacking my flock.

RE: too much magic. I do this thing where I enchant Chords and spool them. The magic interacts between the chords themselves and creates a magical resonance pattern. Could we try that on a larger scale? We couldn't create as many individually large spells, but we could set them up to boost spells locally. Better for enchanting and so on. That's how I made this cloak. I sewed the constellations in. I think it's pretty sweet.

PS: hats. I just have a hood currently and a straw hat, but I'm not a Druid LOL. how tall should my hat be? How wide?

As an aside, I would like to request that druids be formally banished from the greenhouse wing, as too many incidences of animated plants have been cropping up ever since Greenfinger Liore began teaching there.

>Pats you on the back of your chassis
There there

Steady as ever. I mean sure there's turnover, apprentices burning out, elder guild members retiring or dying - but there's a surprising number of redrobes that want into the profession.

Pushing the guildhall back? I mean we're probably going to move it within the week, so if it's not time sensitive...

Sure I do. I spent a century as a witch, I picked up a thing or two that can be done with souls. Also Jill is right, bagels aren't pastries, pastries have eggs in them. Bagels are just bread.
Do you really want to make a piece of bread big enough to crush us all? Who would even eat that much bread?
We parked the guild on a treasure trove? Someone get the controls, we're moving the tower!

Rolled 9 (1d20)

OH SHIT A DEMON. Attack it my skeletons.

The Necromancy department formally requests a minimum of 5% of the resurgence.
I second this motion.

Only .01% you say?

Hats should be at least 1 foot tall at minimum

You fags have /qst/ now. Fuck off

I see...

Hey, aren't you the guy who tried setting someone's pillow fort on fire?

Please don't Jill. If you make the perfect bagel you can just copy it to make slightly imperfect bagels in infinite supply, and leave power over for the rest of us. It isn't a competition.

I have seen many demons in my life, and honestly I think you might be the most irritating. Not the most destructive, but still.

I think he's referring to the chasm which is meant for dangerous artifact storage NOT PERSONAL FAILED EXPERIMENT STORAGE VEILHEX YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT

The Zz'Br'th, were consumed by a spiced and sometimes sweetened mummification for their hubris.

That's a a horrible idea. and the prefect bagel is the gift that keeps on giving!

it'll only need to be double sized to use all the power Quin

Rolled 17 (1d20)

>I use my homemade staff to draw a circle of protection. I use Mage hand and an unseen servant to begin drawing a circle around the demon

That's very interesting. Can you go into more detail about customer service and magical support? What sort of power do you offer for souls, aside from the phenomenal cosmic power?

YES, I AM!
>Saddest Violin Playing in the background as he sniffs

>Slips the unseen servant a silver to play something happier

nah

Sounds like you're handling things fine then.
What are you going to do with a whole 5%? The Geomancy Department only needed 1.
Yup. How about you, know any good stuff you can do with a soul?
Oh... but he wouldn't get access to that no matter how far we moved, that's inside the guild after all.
I beg to differ, these resurgences are huge

You're kind of an idiot, aren't you?

Don't you dare blame me for that! I have no control over where my students stuff their projects once I hand them back!

Not really, no.

Right, but if it's a single bagel, then can't it only be eaten once?

Well I'd need 2, maybe 3 percent to stabilize all of the portals, assuming a lot of things. But something on that order of magnitude.

>Reforms screaming from the ether
>Directly into your ear
>Holy shit he stinks
>That's a whole lot of filth he's caked in
>And he's not stopped screaming

....The power will be used to make a bagel maker, not a bagel.

>Squee
Pierre!

We are a lot bigger than the geomancy department.

Uh, hello is this on? I'm not good with communication magic.

Sir Gordonwright from the department of Sanguimancy, currently on studying on the Mage's Guild of Quetzcoatl, speaking.

I would like to question my fellow wizard comrades on our current position on human sacrifices...

I don't think we'll be needing any of this new magicka swell, though to be frank I think using any of it would burn me out, stellar magic is a few leagues above what I could handle.
Hands will be full for a while trying to pacify and redirect spirits from such an occurrence in any case... at least the exorcists will be busy from those missed that try to effect the material world.

Mmm... did someone summon a demon? I don't think I left any gates open.

and making the perfect bagel even larger take a lot of energy.

What a Delicious way to go....

>He's still screaming, and caked in filth
NO! NO, I DON'T WANT TO GO BACK! I DON'T WANT TO GO BACK IN THE MAZE!

>SELF ESTEEM = RUINED
>RUNS OFF CRYING
>..HE CANT CRY, HE'S A GOLEM

Someone must have. I'm surprised it didn't make a bigger reaction. I've only seen quasits before.
Good thing my
>17
And
>777
Enchantment Seems to have contained it

>Slap
Snap out it man!

I wonder if i could install tearducts...

(The first d20 is to stop the skeletons. The second is to keep pushing the goddamned building. The third is to break the circle, as those things are quite cramped.)
Ahem.

I'm just going to keep pushing now, if any of you want to remove these pesky undead, feel free to do so.

(Switching to a loud, stereotypical 1920s advertising voice)
SO, YOU WANT TO HEAR ABOUT OUR MAGICAL SUPPORT? ALLOW ME TO TELL YOU:
>After many, many minutes used to describe the nature of the Skelecomputer system, you find yourself incredibly weary and borderline depressed.

NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I LEFT SOMETHING IN A HOLE AND I NEED TO COLLECT IT FROM UNDER THE MAGE'S GUILD.

Don't send me back to Sigil.
>BOTH HANDS ON SHOULDERS, PERSONAL SPACE INVASION
DO. NOT. SEND. ME. BACK.

Rolled 3, 8, 7 = 18 (3d20)

(Rollin)

Rolled 1 (1d20)

>Spins and instinctively magic missiles.

Okay, all right it's just Pierre.

Opposed. Strictly opposed.

No, some of them just hang around here. Planar Studies and Summoning usually.

>Follows up the magic missile with a dimensional anchor.

Yeah. okay sure.

We do have several sub-basements you realise. I'm not sure if there even is a bottom layer though, it might just keep going. Well, if you forgot anything under the building I'd try there first.

True, but I thought I'd met all the er, permanent residents. Well, most anyway.

I claim it for Spain!

>Blows himself up a bit with magic missiles.
...healer.

Heh. Heheh. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! LET LOOSE THE CHRONOPHAGE YOU FOOL!
Oh. Oh good, I was so very worried for a moment there. Did you know I've been standing still for three weeks?

Well, give it a couple of decades and you should pick something up.
We need 3 percent just for the portals, wow, this is not going to last is it?
>runs the numbers
That's 1, plus 5, plus 3, am I missing anyone?
But are you five times bigger?
Don't get caught, and the guild won't care. At least that's the stance last I checked. It might have changed in the last century.
Do we really need the perfect bagel? I mean, we have a near unlimited supply of bagels as it is after we had to feed Roderick.

Nah new friend, you're not going anywhere. You're like super bound. Probably not even worth trying to break. I'll let you go, but you've gotta offer me a boon. And none of that monkeys paw shit. Something good and simple which I have control over.

Or else I'm going to put you into this shovel and make you help me shovel really efficiently. Nothing mystical, just efficient at shoveling. No chance to stretch your arcane energy, just being a shovel for the rest of all time.

Ah its a shame.

I've been delving into the costumes of this foreign land and i must say some of the, uh, experiments with Human Sacrifices were fairly invigorating.

Neat.

how do you miss with magic missiles.....

is that a rhetorical question?

Rolled 19 (1d20)

No, you don't quite understand. You all magicians created sub-basements that defy physical space. What I'm looking for just exists in normal space, so I just need to push the everything a little bit more.

>He struggles for a bit, then finds a crevice.

Ha

We'll see.

You sure antagonizing a demon is a good idea?

Heh... Hah... Adam? Question? Have you ever been forced to stand on a... let's call it an edge. For so very long, and just hurled yourself over? Just to see what would happen?
No, messy. You still have to use the bathroom with a ring of sustenance on.

PRAISE CRITICUS!
Not again! The age of exploration is over, shoo, shoo!
Riiiiiight... no, actually I was really questioning why we would waste so much power on something that would instantly get eaten. Or how you would convince the rest of the guild to agree with such a scheme.
You're a necromancer, don't you guys deal with spirits and souls all the time?

yeah, don't i know it. I should make a ring that eliminates the need ot go to the bathroom...

Perhaps the largest perfect bagel is a bit much, simply a perfect bagel would suffice no? It does not want to become a delicious curio in the coming centuries does it?

>He dives into the crevice and begins rummaging around, tossing out various objects ranging from what appears to be ancient magical artifacts to what appears to be cottage cheese.
>Finally, he emerges, panting a lot.
How about...no. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to find a WAND of GREAT VALUE TO ME.

Ffffffffuck.

>throws a shovel at the demon, begins re-enforcing his own wards

I was just joking about the shovel thing hahaha I'll cya later dude have fun in the basement

The worst thing. These pants are done for.

Well at least you're safe.

I can hear the crackle in the flames.. They hunger for the power...

Go stitch your lips Pierre.

Maybe? I'm not sure.

It's not very popular here. Though I'm sure there are a few places you can find where people practice it.

I'm going to blame it on Pierre.

I honestly don't care.

Relatively. Until that anchor expires. Someone make him not die?
SSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Do you hear that?

A skeleton logic engine hrm. This one thinks this would be excellent for calculating the decay rates of crystalline magica deposits in bones and granite, great strides in pinpointing the age of recovered archeological finds.

Truly? Really now, I do wonder at my kin at times. There's such a thing as too much magic...
But then again considering that the mages here could make and remake the world if they ever stopped bickering with each other perhaps I have the wrong end of the stick in this instance.
Still, I'd have just dug out a basement first before bothering to magic myself one.

Well... have fun down there I suppose.

...ah, I did wonder about the smell. I don't suppose anyone has a decent cleaning charm?

huh? what you mean like the dagger?
Is it the sound of no one caring?

>CAN YOU HEAR THE VOICES TOO?!?
You again? I'm getting annoyed at you, odd one..

>He dives in again (it should be noted that he left your circle a long time ago) and this time walks out carrying what appears to be a wand...if it were made in a pre-school art class. Coated in plastic gems and glue, R'ylek holds the item as if it were his most treasured possesion.

THERE WE ARE! I finally found the wand.

>He wiggles it around, babbles some nonsense and points it at you.
>You hear the sound of a grown man saying "Pew!" but you have no idea where the sound came from.

Souls aren't that useful for most necromancy.

That's Pierre, he annoys everyone.

That sounds like an absolutely awful idea....
I've turned my sense of smell off. It's all I can do for you.
What? What dagger?
>CAN YOU FEEL IT NOW MR. KRABS!?
SSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. JUST BEYOND THE RANGE OF HEARING, NINE DAMNED HELLS THE QUIET'S TOO LOUD AND I CAN'T HEAR PAST IT!

Then WHY! Haven't you killed him already?!

the dagger that was in your body. you know, /That/ Dagger.

I'M GONNA MAKE HELL SEEM LIKE AN ICEBOX, IMBECILE!

Rolled 18 (1d20)

And this sounds like a good one.
>Torrent of Water.

He's very good at not really dying.

After I finish spitting this healing potion up, I Arpettus The Vomit Alchemist could take a portion to maintain an endless ingredient library.

We try constantly. Go ahead, be my guest. He won't even care if you do.

That sounds more like an invitation than a challenge..

Different me, different body... Need that chronophage...
YOUR QUIET IS TOO DAMNED LOUD, THERE'S SOMETHING BEHIND IT!
>Just stands there and takes it
What does?