What weird shit has your character started carrying?

What weird shit has your character started carrying?

>pic related for my wizard

A Mermaid Sea Witch.
I charmed her. We made all the sex. I tricked her into marrying me. We saved the Cleric on the process. And now I need to carry her around my back strapped in a jury rigged custom made baby-carriers.
The good thing is that she can cast druid spells like a fucking champion out of the wazoo making her a very reliable henchman that is always with me.
It is fucking beautiful.

Lots and lots of blood. Very little of it is actually from enemies.

So you used magic to trick a woman into marrying you then keep her as a prisoner in a place she can never escape from? Fucked up, dude.

Bear traps are the shit in pathfinder. Like 2 gold for a reusable trap that swings at +10 for 2d6+3, and either immobilizes the target or halves his speed.

Yes. Just like a pokemon. I call her Goldeen.

Well, that's what Charm and Dominate are for. Completely break your free will so you can do whatever the fuck you want with it.
It is a horrible, horrible grey-area ability that even used lightly is still fucking invasive and preposterous.
That's why Player Characters get so bitchy when a monster uses on them.

> I tricked her into marrying me
> I tricked her

Ohh, user.

Vials of blood from the following at al possible
>Human
>Non humanoid
>Faey
>Noble
>Self.

CLEARLY FUCKING LABELED.

Also, a tube of flour.

The only thing my party has been surprised by is a granola bar

>A deepening feeling of uncomfortableness.

Use it to create a reviving cake to bring the dead back to life.

Intentionally Mislabeled poisons and potions. That potion of CLW? Nope, that was drow sleep poison. Tears of death? nope, just a vial of water. This actually came in handy when a thief stole my shit. He got a faceful of contact poison after drinking a buff potion. I'm pretty sure it was barkskin. I don't know what happened after he ran off, but I think he died of Con Damage.

A small wooden box of infinite wolf spiders.

If it was really evil then it'd be called an evil spell.

Stop injecting real world morals into a game with objective morality faggot.

Lots and lots of crow skeletons. I mention that my Cleric makes rattling noises when he walks because of all of the crow skeletons she has under his robes.

A shovel for burying myself. Hiding in the earth is viable when you don't need to breath.

But why the blood?

A box of puppies

Checker set

whenever my fighter is in town and has nothing better to do, he'll challenge people to play a game of checkers against him and bet on the outcome.

My Sorcerer has a "Wolf strap" cut from a dead werewolf, though the game being 5e, it's now just a piece of human skin, since they revert on death.

My warlock is carrying around a scroll for a super amped up AoE spell that could probably level a medium-sized town. We are essentially lugging it everywhere as per MAD doctrine.

Our Catholic nobleman has recently come into possession of a translation of a few pages of the Necronomicon.
It's NOT a CoC game.

It normally always comes in handy. Be it for spell component, a gaes, a bribe, payment, fake evidence, proof of idenity.

Is there a reason for the skelecrows? Or are they just for dramatic effect.

A dead fairy thing.

>a reviving cake to bring the dead back to life.
Do you want to be the one to push a whole cake down a dead person's throat?

...Who am I kidding? I'm sure someone on here has some kind of horrifying necro-vore fetish for shoving food down the throats of dead people.

A teenage goblin girl's diary, which she desperately wants to find a translator for

>wanting to read a teenage girl's diary
Is your character on a quest to tank his sanity to zero as efficiently as possible?

Metal shavings - it's like glitter dust!
A ten foot pole - it's telescopic!
Many necklaces - one for every friend!

Well I'm OOC convinced there will be clues to the larger plot in there somewhere
I'm also just kind of curious what sort of drama goblins would have

not the guy who asked you initially, but that's fair enough i suppose.

>Weathered old torch that he uses as a club

>Book of sexual techniques.

> a severed bear's paw.

> a jar of marmalade

Offt-topic, but your pic related is missing the release mechanism, your wizard would do more damage beating a man to death with it than setting it as a trap.

A strand of his ex-girlfriend's fur.

I ditched all firearms in twilight 2k and used poisons and pic related to fight. My character was an sneaky breaky

And the strange part is I'm more interested in why you have the tube of flour.

A doll made from his alchemist friend's skin, obtained after a spell went horribly wrong. He tried to get the doll enchanted with his friend's spirit or something, but was only able to make it dance.

Goddamn i miss Twilight 2000.

The first thing I ask any GM for is a 10 ft pole that unscrews into 2 ft segments.

I now want a high magic setting where no one dares use magic because of MAD.

Various cut off monster parts as trophies ala the Witcher

Three near worthless gem stones I found hidden in the false bottom of a chest owned by a zentarim captain.

The chest itself contained three times the value of the gems in coins and my character is convinced that they must be part of a resident evil style lock or something.

The worst thing is that given that my character is just about the luckiest person on the continent he may actually be right, the poor stupid bastard.

I though coblins were universally illiterate?
you are going to spend a vast amount of time and money getting it translated and then discover that it's just random scrawlings because she spied on human teenage girls and saw them doing it :D

Does a Troll-in-a-tin count, or os that standard adventurer fare now?

Are you me? My paladin met a shady elf blood merchant and our party needed elf blood to make plot devices. So after a bit of bargaining and healing magic, I ended up with 3 gallons of elf blood all form this one dude. After that, I wanted to get some other types of blood, so I grabbed some troll and giant blood, as well as harpy and gargoyle blood. I probably spent 1/10 of my current wealth all in this one transaction, and when I gave it to our transmuter wizard, even he wasnt sure what to do with 30 lbs of blood in jars

I laughed more than I should.

Yet

I was unsure about how to give loot to my players, so they found 2 cans of beans. Not magic beans, just industrial processed cans of beans. They then went and purchased 5 more.
Later, my players went off and made a npc who joined the party buy then 48 hot dogs, which they have stored in various places.

My Cleric worships a crow themed god. The crow skull is his holy symbol, but my Cleric keeps whole skeletons around 'just to be safe'. He's a little kooky, so he talks to them and makes cawing noises when he casts spells.

it's basically a potion of Detect invisibility, only it costs like 5 copper. Swing, release, if you hit a square with an invisible person they get covered in it. Spread it around on the ground and you can watch their footprints, too.

Now, the real shit is the same book advises that you buy Lard, which effectively gives you a long lasting Grease spell for like a buck, and if you combine the two, you get biscuits!

Anyways, my character's a gunslinger, and in addition to the several guns and hundreds of pounds of ammo she carries, she also has a hand crossbow for use as a grappling hook, a coffee grinder and percolator, a bear trap because fuck yeah, bear traps, bouncy ball, pocket watch, deck of marked cards, a dartboard, some marijuana and cocaine (it's amazing what they see fit to put in the PF SRD), a vial of glowing ink if ever I need such a thing, two colors of chalk, and a fishing pole. Now, the thing is, she's got no survival skills per sey, so while she can use the fishing pole to fish, that's not why she has it. She has it because she has a special bluff trait that lets her convince people that what she's holding is actually something else, and the more it is like that other thing, the better the bluff works. Guns are expensive and hard to come by, so if she runs out of shots with her shotgun or pistol or musket, she can pull out the fishing pole and bluff someone that it's a rifle.

A single round for a weapon that hasn't been produced for 39,000 years. He doesn't even know what's it for.

First thing in my inventory no matter the game is a good towel and chalk.

Never amazes me how useful those two things are.

An airsoft mp5 enchanted to launch magic missile when fired.

CAW CAAWW!

>Now, the real shit is the same book advises that you buy Lard, which effectively gives you a long lasting Grease spell for like a buck, and if you combine the two, you get biscuits!
What book? I love that kinda shit, and would like as many ideas as I can get.

I see you playing 40K

Dungeonscape. It's one of the five environment books, along with Stormwrack, Frostburn, Sandstorm, and Cityscape, and it's co-written by Rich Burlew, the Order of the Stick guy.

Back when I played Mutants and Masterminds, my character carried his childhood Daisy 1998 Special Edition Pink bb gun. it was basically the same concept as though, it was the fluff representation of his Blast: 999 powers

Devices are so goddamn broken in that game

The players I am dming for have some collected some fun stuff.
The Cleric has a collection of skulls(for scientific research), random tools like saws and hammers(for scientific research), and at one point a few live goblins who he chained to the back of the party cart (for scientific research)
The barbarian has a quilt the he wears like a cape that is kinda like a safety blanket. It is made up of the skin of a lot of the enemies he has killed.
The assassin has the skull of a former player as a cod piece. The player was that guy so I approve.
The tiefling sorcerer noble a sack of beets he brings into town to try and sell claiming they are beets by dre and selling them at an exorbitant price
The only normal one is the rogue who is only in it for the money and magical items
Its 5e

>old halforc retired whaler.
Has a harpoon, a compass, and length of rope.

>Dwarf mushroom farmer
Oil cloth poncho so he doesn't get wet, big floppy hat of same material. A well aged bottle of fine elfin wine given to him by his best friend before he was killed by maurading half-elfs who travel, raiding human and elfen settlements, and a keyring holding the right thumb bone of every half elf he has killed in his quest to end the entire halfbreed race for destroying his peoples way of life and killing his friends.

Our ranger carries an arm, from a goblin caster, around his neck, that he dismembered at 50 feet.
Nat20 ftw

Four spare mags for the gunner's BAR
In fact, EVERYONE is carrying ammo for that god-damn gun, but it's so usefull.

Wouldn't be a problem if GM wasn't such a prick and allow use to pick up StG44, but being a prick, that of course will never happen, so we are stuck with carrying everywhere those fucking mags.

Bottle of liquid soap and another of degreasing fluid.

A chain, that later on became a knife on a chain.
Meat slices that he doesn't even eat.
He formerly had 70 Bunyip teeth that he sold for A FAT FUCKING SACK of Platinum pieces.
My character doesn't really keep stuff, he'd rather sell anything he doesn't need or can't turn into a weapon.

A door (65 lbs, reinforced with iron struts, has fold-out supports for quickly barricading and straps for carrying on back, also useful as a weapon, a shield, a springboard, and disabling the oytughs bite attack)
A fishing rod (very useful, last night I caught a fleeing flying wizard and pulled another man off a building, also used as a grappling hook for climbing and a fishing rod for fishing)
A bear trap (useful)
4 bars of soap (cleanliness, juggling, impressed a dragon with it once)
3 spare emergency halberds (you never know)

I'm ready for anything.

AS a person who installs doors as part of my living. 65 lb door aint shit.

Our rouge carries
2 Mastercraft Shortswords
2 Underdark Shortswords
1 Elven Shortsword (that splits into two)
2 Daggers
2 Hidden Blades (Ezio style)
1 Light Crossbow
(Plans for a wrist mounted crossbow)

of course thats a fetish

wheredoyouthinkweare.jpg

I once put a female goblin in my pack after she was disowned by her tribe for helping us. We were retrieving some nasty artifact from a pocket dimension. She wanted out, where as the rest of the tribe was content to be beholder cultists and eat any adventurers that came for the artifact. Unfortunately the game ended before I could see if I had found a friend, or a lover.

Various teeth and parts of a human skull before fighting the big bad of the campaign an evil bard who would send his minions or people he manipulated into fighting us I started to take parts of the skulls and told the bard his silver tongue would be the very last piece

A flask of a deceased water elemental.

Bag of holding filled with thousands of shadows.

No mass or volume to a 2d entity so you can fit as many as you like.

Good for blackbagging enemies and a final "FUCK YOU" if your party betrays you.

Some sort of gritty Paddington Bear?

Tell me stories about your heaviest doors so that I may improve my realms user.

A bracelet that contains
---
> Fishing line / hook
> Compass
> box cutter
> 12 ft of paracord
> Small hook that connects to the belt buckle like meteor hammer.
---

A tea kettle that can hold a gallon of tea.

A lock of hair from each party member and several others

A tube of non dairy powder creamer

A cowbell

My Weremanshark Fighter carries three Mermaids.
They are the parties' Cleric, Bard and Wizard.
Though they all know Fin to Feet spells, they try to save energy on long trips overland so he's toting essentially a small bath made from a barrel they can all uncomfortably squeeze into when they need to remoisten themselves.
Otherwise they perch up on my shoulders to look around and converse with all of us.
The Druid, also a Mermaid, has an artefact so she can transform at will at no cost to herself and the Ranger is human. We think.

She can't drown, but can humans drown?
We thought so but she insists that they can learn to breath underwater.

>he's
>my
Getting my perspective mixed up a bit here.

Different user, but I've been installing new doors for entire development full of commie blocks last summer and the usuall door to the block was 60, but KILOS, made out of welded steel. And that was before installing and welding in panels of ballistic glass (don't ask). The wooden ones we were installing in basement in each cellar were 40.
The reinforced ones we were installing on special demand in those cellars were almost 100 kilos and required a special wheel to not overburden the hinges, but they had a panel of armour steel inside and a heavy, complicated lock with shitload of reinforced elements.

After a drawn out fist-fight with a guard captain at level one, the DM mentioned that my Barbarian-Monk found one of her teeth on the ground.
So she took it and made it into pendant.
After another tooth being dropped at the outcome of another fight I joked to the DM that she might as well roll to drop teeth now.
So I do, If her health drops to below half in a fight, she loses D3-1.
This includes her NPC sister.

Her ivory charm necklace is now at twenty five, one of which is a Drow canine she was given by the Dark Elf in question to add to her 'trophy collection' as an alien form of thank you for saving her.

She also has a Lion's claw as an ear-piercing, obtained from when her sister and her first fought a Lion in their youth.

She harvested all the sinew from her own body to make into thread along with needles from her bones and even a small loom.
She used her own hair for further thread.
Skin she used for vellum.
Teeth and nails for jewellery.
Her unborn child she interred in a cairn, their soul refused to leave her and she carries them still.
Heart she harvested for reagents and finally she left the rest of her body to the wolves and raven scavengers.

Playing a heavily Norse Mythology inspired campaign and my Shield Maiden was killed in a battle that saw most the party killed including her father.
At the invitation of the Valkyries present she attempted to alter her father's tapestry so the two of them could go and meet up with her late mother at Hel's garden together.
She was tricked by them and it wasn't her Fathers fate she rewove but her own.
She was shown how to create her tools using her own corpse and allowed to take him to Fólkvangr before they whisked her away to learn their trade.
A year later she found what remained of her friends and their new friends since and joined them again to see their journey to the end.

- One forty-five caliber automatic
- Two boxes of ammunition
- Four days' concentrated emergency rations
- One drug issue containing antibiotics, morphine,
vitamin pills, pep pills, sleeping pills, tranquilizer pills
- One miniature combination Russian phrase book and Bible
- One hundred dollars in rubles
- One hundred dollars in gold
- Nine packs of chewing gum
- One issue of prophylactics
- Three lipsticks
- Three pair of nylon stockings.

Shoot, a fella' could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff.

I'm secretly hoping the round is for a Mosin Nagant, so that the fates will allow me to one shot a blood thirster,so that I can ascend to be a prophet of the Murdercube.

Orc barbarian with a kiwi bird pet. It didnt't had its own stats because it was just a kiwi. The orc was often talking with it and demand others to respond to kiwi questions even if only he could heard them. I was talking with my DM about that bird and he had an idea to make this kiwi an evil wizard turned into bird for his crimes and orc was only thing he was able to talk with in his bird form. He was supposed to whisper things of death and destruction to the orc and he often listened. But kiwi was only thing that was keeping that orc with party and not attack them (a way to put orc barbarian into non-orc party and keep him there). At some point i wasn't sure if play the orc or the bird.

My necromancer carries a an enchanted backpack filled with a dozen skeletons. Also the skull of his late teacher in case he ever needs advice.