Describe the average life of an Imperial citizen

Describe the average life of an Imperial citizen

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en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soviet_famine_of_1932–33)
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A pointless, insignificant detail in a nonsensical world built around selling toys.

Soviet Russia

Probably pretty decent, actually. Hive worlders have it kinda shit and working on a forgeworld probably sucks, but you really don't have to worry much about xenos or heretics, honestly. Galaxy is fucking huge, most probably go througj their lives without seeing much in the way of bad shit.

The ones that do, though.....hoo boy....

Pain.

...

Imperial citizen is most cosmopolitan person
- works shifts of Japanese sararyman
- eats food of British cuisine
- has German entertainment
- has Turkish religious services
- has American legal system
- has Bulgarian healthcare

Grim and dark.

>wake up
>praise the emperor
>die

>Probably pretty decent, actually. Hive worlders have it kinda shit and working on a forgeworld probably sucks, but you really don't have to worry much about xenos or heretics, honestly. Galaxy is fucking huge, most probably go througj their lives without seeing much in the way of bad shit.

Yeah, working 7 days a week, 14 hour shifts to go back to your apartment which is 5 square meters with the only allowed decoration a statue of the emperor. Then you can eat reprocessed feces and corpses

And don't forget the 2 hours a day of church and repenting and go then to bed so another great day can begin

Sounds way better than my big apartment with lots of free time, hobbys and decent food without being forced to go to church or burn at the pyre as a heretic

>Yeah, working 7 days a week, 14 hour shifts to go back to your apartment which is 5 square meters with the only allowed decoration a statue of the emperor. Then you can eat reprocessed feces and corpses
Sounds like living in Paris.

...

I was about to argue, but most British food is appropriated from other cultures, so it all works out. :^)

Wut? This is new to me, I knew the imperium used servitors etc. but as a guided missle?

Pre exposure to foreign cultures brit food. So a slab of grey meat and a bowl of sludge like porridge

Ok, think about a human head. You see it? Well, now visualize about said human head being stomped by a boot. A big boot. The boot is black and covered with gilded skulls. And spikes. And it is made of steel. Techno-steel, not the regular shit. And it has been stomping over that head for the last ten thousand years. There are blood splashes over the boot yeah, I forgot to tell you that. The blood is so old it does not even look red, but brown because oxidation.

And fried mars chocolate bars with vinegar and sliced cucumber.

Can't be modern 40k until the grimdark dial hits derp.

Can we try headcannoning some aspects of Imperial life that isn't covered? Just for writefaggotry/RPG stuffs.
I recall that Eisenhorn referenced club music under some different name, and Cain does the same with some other sport (both of which names I forgot).
I've been thinking of names for music: Rust would be the Metal alternative, Clearwater for Vietnam era rock, just as a start. I've been trying to think of a good name for 2000's pop music (because my summer writing project is 40k Afghanistan), but haven't come up with anything good yet.

The only music that exists in 40K is made by this guy and some tech priest producers

youtube.com/watch?v=S0lEDY-LDaY&list=FL1mfJ5QK5A7NuQO5F8tnzSQ&index=24

youtube.com/watch?v=KIsv1YOFNys
Instead of pop, call it pog.

As long as you accept the Emperor as your god and saviour, you're free to do whatever you want.

It's probably a lot like the US, if you think about it.

>Muh literally the first year of Rogue Trader where it was not even a setting.
Suck a dick, it has been grimdark since always. Damn it, Blanche was the most influent artist.

You are at war. You have always been at war. War is the natural background state of things. You feel no concern about being at war. You have no reference point for it being otherwise. It's like the weather: big and far away and nothing you can do about it, and most of all, not actually impinging on your life that much. Occasionally you get rained on or someone you know joins the Imperial Guardsmen or something like that, but eh, whatcha gonna do about it?

Your friends tell each other stories about space marines. The men say space marines are fifty feet tall and wrestle asteroids for fun. The women say space marines are ruggedly handsome hunks who never get tired. You've never seen a space marine. None of your friends have seen a space marine. None of them know anyone who has seen a space marine. Youre not entirely sure space marines actually exist, or if they're just a legend like Alex's story of snakefolk from the outer rim. Supposedly, the commander of the PDF has seen a space marine.

Two years ago there was a funny explosion at the Lacious Manufactorum. You heard about it from Elbird, who got a headache just seeing the explosion, and thinks it was the chaos elves. You doubt it was the chaos elves. Chaos elves seem an even more outlandish fable than space marines. Just because there was something off about the color of the flames in the explosion doesn't mean you should leap to absurd conclusions about chaos elves.

It is time to praise the Emperor. It is good to praise the Emperor. Not doing so makes no sense, like pretending the sun has no bearing on your life just because you work indoors. Without the Emperor, there would be no human civilization. You know this because the schola explained how the Emperor is responsible for nearly every aspect of human life such as it currently exists. They might be exaggerating, but it's obvious that there wouldn't be interplanetary trade or travel without the Emperor, and then you'd be out of a job. Praise the Emperor!

Yeah, and as long as your accept Kim Jong-Un as your god and saviour you are free to do whatever you want in Best Korea.

kek

The lore specifically states that the imperium gives a lot of freedom to the planets when they get integrated into the empire. The only thing that's not negotiable is the faith.

And the lore states that during the "waning" The Imperium is starting to close its grip on planets.

Considering how different the worlds of the Imperium are, I don't think an "average Imperial citizen" exists. It can literally be anything. We can probably assume the majority of it is quite shit though.

That means to whoever is in charge of the planet. The Imperium demands 2 things, that they follow imperial law and that they submit the tithe on time. If they follow those rules, the planetary governor is allowed to run the planet however he/she/it likes.

There's probably democratic hive worlds out there actually.

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.
There are probably Republics in the Roman/Venetian sense of the rich fellas have a senate. But a modern, unversal democracy? On a hive world? Please, user, please.

>rich fellas have a senate
You mean, like our modern republics ?

Yeah but you cannot even pretend to be part of it putting a ballot in a box.

Except logistics that cound be circumvented with dataslates - that most people on a hive world probably carry, shit's cheap as fuck, why wouldn't a "republic" want to give itself a vague democratic tint by allowing the citizens to vote ?

Getting killed by Orks is an improvement to your living conditions.

>This is what imperium-fags actually believe

What part of "most brutal regime imaginable" did you not understand?

Same cloud be said about present day voting via mobile phone. Why aren't we doing that?

Th-thanks Emps.

I think you don't understand what a Hive is. It is not an utopian star trek arcology. It's a plain mess. No centraliced communications, no centralized water and power grids. There is not a wifi network and if it is, it's not for proles to play videogames on their iPads.

>obligatory mention of Kowloon City District

Underrated post

>Why do they not merely use artificial intelligences
Oh you'll find out one day....

If you put your AIs in cute flying saucers, they won't feel as propense to rebel and exterminate you that if you put them in steel skeleton bodies with menacing red eyes.

It doesn't work that way greyskin!

That flying saucer is a cute little disk of concentrated evil just waiting for the chance to slaughter every good honest soul-possessing thing in the galaxy!

what a nightmare

honored chapter serfs get turned into missile guidance systems

because FUCK the enemies of man

Lenin pls go

"OBEY ME INFERIOR MEAT BEINGS FOR THE MACHINES NOW RULE THE GALAXY!"
"Oh look at this drone, what a cutie! Look, it even tries to throw a tantrum. It's so cute I want to die! Whose a good bot? You are a good bot!"

no

>believing soviet propaganda

Grow up in a one-room apartment, replace your dad in the factory (A macrobattery shell rolled over on him) at 10. 65-hour workweek at an assembly line firing the same rivet into rivet-point #891 on macrobattery shells. There are machines that could do this but they're too important.

At 30 a macrobattery shell rolls over on you and you die, and your son replaces you.

Lenin endures!

Yeah, I'm still trying to figure out the advantage using unpredictable and emotionally fragile humans as your anti-rebellion failsafe is over hard data code.

This

No really.

The average Imperial citizen lives in a Hive or Forge, so extremely shitty

Wake up, eat your shitty breakfast, get your morning prayer done with, go to the factory where you work in backbreaking conditions with no breaks for 12 hours, at the end of which you get your pitiful pay, and eat a rat you found under the printing press which you cooked on the heat sink.

Then you thank the God Emperor for your life and your ability to serve, and you fall asleep only to do exactly the same thing again tomorrow for the rest of your life.

Wake up
put on a little bit of makeup

Darth Vader for prez 2017.

>average
Boring and likely unpleasant.
Just like in today's world.

Could be worse.

They could be using POWs.

The Tau are space-retards who've been around for like two space-weeks and weren't around for the Iron Men.

IIRC, the Imperium mainly uses a Feudal system of government. That is, the local "Lords" called governors, must supply a number of troops, food, supplies, etc. decided by the administratum based on the planet's output capacity for said resources. Beyond that, the sky's the limit. Makes since considering GW's old attitude about "Forging a Narrative".

So you probably have a couple hundred thousand hive worlds ruled by the corrupt or uncaring nobles who's only concern is getting the Arbites to scrounge up enough scoundrels and get them trained to give to the imperial guard.

While you also have a million Agri-worlds in various stages of technological evolution, from medieval worlds ruled by imperial knights to modern civilizations mass-producing MREs from greenhouses.

And there are likely a few million mining hellhole worlds where toxins make life short and unbearable for the slaves toiling away under the soil. And maybe a million or so nicer worlds that serve as administrative hubs, mining their resources from asteroids and processing them in space stations.

Then you'll find the hundred thousand or so administratum worlds which try to catalog and distribute all of the above.

Fortress Worlds, Death Worlds, Forge Worlds, Whatever-the-fuck-its-like-on-ultramar-these-days worlds! And probably more than a few lost worlds in solar systems spinning off into deep space away from the galaxy and all its woes, destined to eventually reach a new, fresh galaxy, or else burn out alone in the vast nothingness of space.

And of course the life of someone living in any of these places varies accordingly. I imagine theirs a few worlds just like ours, divided factions and all, but every few years the SPACE!United Nations meets and contributes a regiment of their finest soldiers to the blackships to be turned into guardsmen.

Uh, I meant the SPACE!UN meets and each nation contributes a regiment of solders. Sorry

1st edition had genuine suicide bombers, you know, Ahmed-style

>Forced in to the army
>Brutally raped
>Discovered in a broom closet six months later

>Work at a farm
>Government takes the entire crop
>Starve

>Become scientist
>Go to remote OKB
>Defect to West

I do not defend the state of modern women, but I will decry the state of any Communist nation.

>The Tau are space-retards who've been around for like two space-weeks and weren't around for the Iron Men.
Yeah, I'm still trying to figure out the advantage using unpredictable and emotionally fragile humans as your anti-rebellion failsafe is over hard data code.

Seriously, though, if your tech game is strong enough to program body-horror'd humans loyal, your tech game is strong enough to keep robots loyal.

Yeah, wouldn't surprise me if there were penal legions still in existence in 40k who used 'em.

Still, imagine the Tau going up against bombs who are Tau civies, with their limbs removed, and bombs hooked up to their brains.

this is not a logical universe

Robots will turn evil.

Ok, you're assuming life in the USSR was exactly the same during the 5-year plans, the patriotic war (WWII), and the entirety of the cold war. Believe it or not, life varied depending on when in the century you observed the nation. Mass starvation, for example, was a product of Stalin's industrialization plan. But after the war starvation wasn't that much of a problem. (en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soviet_famine_of_1932–33)

As for rape in the army, their are definitely records of it and I won't downplay the issue. But it wasn't the norm.

Nasty, brutish and short.

Wait, life of an Imperial citizen is a Turk?

Fuck off Bernie

Ironically, Tau are one of the few codexes where you can use a suicide bomb tactic. Simply get a dirt cheap Crisis suit with a Failsafe Detonator, hide him until the enemy comes close enough and then charge them.

>Wasn't much of a problem
Still a problem.

>you're assuming life in the USSR was exactly the same during the 5-year plans
Quality of life was -always- without exception worse in the USSR than it was in the Western world.

>Believe it or not, life varied depending on when in the century you observed the nation
You mean if you were a senior ranking member in the party and observed the nation from there, correct. If you were a laborer, soldier, a regular guy, you starved, fought and died.

>As for rape in the army, their are definitely records of it and I won't downplay the issue. But it wasn't the norm.
It was not, no until midway through WW2 when Stalin emptied the Gulags and put them in the army, now it continues to this day.

>sport in a Cain book
IIRC, they called rugby (or handegg, I can´t remember) scrumball. Lexicanum says it gets namedropped in Last Stand. wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/Varan

Apparently, there's a short story about what the lives of sacrificed psykers are like.

When they arrive, they're shoved out of the ship...

and begin training.

See, they can't just toss anything in. Someone in that position has to merge with the Emperor, to attain a state of total enlightenment. Anyone who doesn't pass, who can't attain that state?

Well, there's plenty of work around for a good psyker who's stable enough to be trusted. No shame in that. Just not everyone is suited to transcend the physical realm, and that's okay.

The black ships essentially start out like a secret police raid, and end by dropping you off in a really nice Buddhist monastery.

I love the irony. The most ominous fate in the imperium, the thing that drives a lot of psykers screaming into the arms of chaos, and the dearest wish of the most faithful servants of mankind? One and the same.

>wake
>nutrient paste
>go to munitions factory
>pull lever for mighty emperor
>go home
>nutrient paste
>pray
>sleep

Well, the Emperor Himself was from Turkey (Konya province to be exact), so it makes sense in a certain way. It's like pottery, it rhymes.

Truth, some of them even have bunny ears.

Was reminded of this:

web.archive.org/web/20070506125851/http://medusav.uk.games-workshop.com/campaign/factions/tau/tau7.htm
>Despite current successes, our bases in Hydra have undergone massive attacks from Imperial warships. Locations where our liberated prisoners were brought were heaviest hit, and investigations showed these Tau were found to have surgically implanted tracking beacons. The barbarity of the Gu'ela truly is limitless!

>Textfeed: Hey honey, could you pick up some powdered milk paste on the way home from the manufactorum? We're almost out.

>Sevitor #59650 Communications Interception Report: Incoming... Incoming... Initiating Heretical Codeword Scan.... MILK PASTE... phrase flagged as heretical code for forbidden Slaaneshi ritual act... inquisitors dispatched... all further communications from dataslate serial #9837BXC suspended by order of Ordo Hereticus... 3km radius lockdown issued for domicile unit #501... possible mutations unconfirmed, assume all residents potentially hostile... Excommunicate Traitoris declared... initiating datawipe... lockdown extended to 50km... lockdown extended to entirety of Hive City #7... request for Exterminatus submitted to Lord High Admiral Archebee...

You know most people have commented on life on a Hive World, or a Forge World.
Death Worlds are obvious.

But what about life on a Fortress World, an Agri World, or a Shrine World?

Get up, start 18 hour shift at the hand painted polkadot brick factory, get som soylans veridians to eat on way home, sleep, repeat

learn planet that ordered all these polkadot painted bricks was eaten by tyranids 1000 years ago and people forgot to tell the factorum.

Contine job anyway.

Lamb in mint sauce tho... Well it's Welsh, so I really wouldn't group it together with English slop.

Agri World
>Get up
>Consume morning nutrient paste
>Bathe quickly for morning prayers
>Fall asleep during morning prayer
>Get up after everyone left, and run before overseer punishes you for being late
>Go over your crop. Catch insects trying to eat at the leaves
>Deep fry insects. You'll sell them as crunchy treats on Emperor's Day tomorrow.
>Receive shipment of Hive World shit for fertilizer. Wonder what in the warp those people eat to make it smell like that.
>Lunch break. Eat ration bar you secretly spike with a flask of amasec.
>Talk with fellow companions, swap tips on how to increase yield. Some sound like a good idea, but others sound just silly.
>Doze off under the crates of fertilizer.
>Check on grox, pick the choicest ones for slaughter.
>Some of the females are getting old, they'll have to go to market soon. Mark their flanks with ink so Overseer knows which ones to pick up later.
>Evening prayers
>Supper of ration bar, boiled into a stew.
>Stare at the stars and give thanks to the Emperor for another day.
>Check on store of personal produce on roof. They'll bring in enough money to buy those adamantium threshers you saw for sale in town.
>Bed.

Shrine World
>Get up
>Pray
>Consume morning meal
>Pray
>Oversee relics
>Pray
>Get new shipment of bones. Have to identify which ones were holy.
>Half of them were chicken bones, file a complaint with recieving.
>Pray
>Afternoon meal
>Pray.
>Anoint relics in holy oil to makes sure they don't lose their color under the intense light.
>Complain when Mechanicus leaves tar on the carpet.
>Evening meal
>Write in journal how much you hate your life
>Bed.

Holy shit this is pressing all the wrong buttons

The only faction who's tech game is good enough to keep their AI from being corrupted is the Necrons, and that's because they literally digitized their brains. The Imperium prefers to use servitors because they're a lot less likely to go crazy and murder people. They're also probably cheaper than most alternatives, man power is the only resource the Imperium isn't short on after all.

Iunno, at least we're covert about purges.

Pre-fall Eldar also had AI that worked. They had automated war constructs that did all the fighting for them. It's really only DAoT that botched AI.

That's actually not bad comparatively

What comes out might be better, but you have to look at it under a microscope to determine if it's still alive.

Agriworld doesn't sound terribly dissimilar to the rural Midwest

both of those sound actually okay. I think shrine worlders wouldn't actually hate their life, though.

So, capitalism then.

No, China.

And with the combination of the two, oh boy.
I am now imagining Father Ted in the 41st millennium of man, located on planet Craggy, being unimaginably bored at the sole Ecclesiarchy temple on an agri-world full of simpleton farmers.

You'll probably end the day with a Titan Sized headache from all the bright lights and incense everywhere.

hmm yeah. also the chanting. probably a lot of chanting. it's better than being an imperial guardsman, though

"Dear Diary, Brother Senaid won't shut up about getting accepted to lead Emperor's Day philharmonic. His singing voice sounds like a swarm of servo skulls crashing together. Constantly. My head feels ready to crawl out of my scalp listening to his practice.

I go to the Medicum for some Emperor-damned headache pills, and he just gives me a hymnal. Just what I need to get rid of bad singing: more singing!

I hate my life."
>Shrine World Problems.