What's the most dishonourable thing you've done in-character?

Chaotic Good Rogue
>Rabbit Punched a starving, drug addicted, beggar to get a kek out of a low-level mob boss as a way of introducing myself.
>Shot a man in the back for turning away from me while I was speaking in the middle of a seedy tavern. Broadhead Arrow. Straight-up Murder.
>Sold highly addictive and possibly harmful drugs onto the streets of my home city to fish for a lead on the BBEG. Means to and end.

True Neutral Fighter (Mercenary)
>Decapitated the corpse of a Bandit and tossed his head down an unexplored hallway shouting "Who's NEXT". Just in case there was anyone down there to intimidate. There wasn't...

"Sold" a small village on an Agri-world to a Scum gang from a nearby city for about 75 rounds to a gun that my guardsman collected that hasn't been produced for 39,000 years. (All the citizens were sold into slavery by the next month)

Ah, Thorasic Vertebrae. LE mage (playing him as a selfish dick, not actually evil). First mission we're hired by an old man in black robes to retrieve a magic book. On the way back to give him the book and the paladin detects evil before an encounter. Turns out I radiate evil. Bless his soul he decides the book is evil. "Why, yes," I proclaim, "The book IS evil It's bound in human flesh and inked in the blood of the innocent." Thus did I let the LG paladin attack the "evil" mage that hired us.

Later I offered to identify a sword for the paladin. It turned out to be a sword of three wishes. I returned it to the paladin and told him it was a sword of two wishes, which by that time it was.

This paladin continued to help me at every turn and treated me like a trusted friend. Can you betray a friendship that's one sided?

Promised an enemy I captured that I'd let them go if they gave me information I wanted, then let them go. By dropping them over the side of a building.

Shivved a bouncer because he was the guard at a bar I wanted to bring my chainsaw into.

We all won

It's amazing, one episode and Ikra influenced my wet dreams enough to be immediately recognizable all these years later

BALLS
DEEP

Hired a party member to kill my father so I could become king.

Set fire to a man to evacuate the streets, as a very magical cloud that when it rained on someone, turned them evil, was headed towards the village. The villagers wouldn't listen to me, or my eidolon, so I had to. As it turned out, it was some time travel horse shit that was raining evil micro bots, and the BBEG reckt my party, all because yhe DM forgot I had given my eidolon heightened smell, we tracked our way back to him. The level 12 BBEG then proceeded to hand our level 3 asses back to us.

>Agreed to spy on our party for the forgiveness of a debt.

Also, in the same campaign

>Used dancing lights to surreptitiously create demonic signs over the barbarian's head.

And worst of all:
I was a gnome bard.

Sold my friends into slavery to impress an evil lord and infiltrate his court.
Bought them back later and freed them, but I was never fully trusted again.

Lure all but one of the other players into a Red Wedding where they were all massacred.

Backed an "Alexandra the Great" type character who was as brutal as her real world counterpart. We rationalized it by saying that if we acted as her advisors and kept her from being the MOST terrible person, we were doing good. Furthermore she never pinged on "detect evil". So that's why we helped her.
Also, it was my fetish.

Tried to sell my captains soul to a daemon of Tzeentch. Almost managed it too.

I could maybe understand doing that to their characters... but the PLAYERS?
Seriously, though: is there a story to this? I'm curious if it went down okay at the table, or if there were some hard feelings afterward.

Cucked best friend ina threesome with his sister. Later on had to shoot him cause he'd gotten possessed. Felt real bad.

>Alexandra the great
Who?

Sounds like my kind of game. Please elaborate.

Theme stripper at my local gentleman's club.

Alexander the Great, but a grill

I frequently resort to using long range artillery bombardment and gas warfare to solve trivial problems
No I'm not going to stop.

According to the book of exalted deeds, your DM was right. And considering the book of exalted deeds is the official splat book on the subject, you are wrong. Even if you did it for the right reasons.

Raped a bard and his sister because demon deals nigga

everyone thought I wasn't committed enough to staying IC to act out rape.I showed them
they stopped dangling those carrots in fjödál Ärdnocts face after that

Then the book of Exalted deeds is stupid.
One person (one morally terrible person) suffers vs everyone dies. Only an idiot would say "Torture is wrong, it's better to let the world end".

I should amend that. It is evil, but you could always atone. However, the BoEDsays not to treat morality as a commodity, so don't do it again.

In Star Wars d20 I played Four armed pistol wielding fringer pilot that the first jedi in the party had hired for transport. Amoung the party, which ended up having 2 jedi, I was the only character that would not of been considered good if we'd been plying DnD.

Over the course of the game, he starts to like the other characters more and more. He even gets a kick out of playing hero with them and at some point he sees them more as his crew than his employers.

At some point, the two Jedi head out on their own while me and the rest of the crew deal with some assassin. They encounter the villain, a sith who thoroughly kicks their asses. After they don't come back, we head out looking for them. We find them alive, but unconscious and about to get loaded onto a ship. We take out the guys loading them and I manage to shoot one in the leg to take him alive and fnd out where they'd been taking them and who did this to them. He refuses to talk, so I shoot him in his other leg. This process continues until a blaster shot in the shoulder kills him.

I tortured a man to death for trying to kidnap my jedi friends and never told them about it in character. OOC we agreed it was some of the best roleplaying I'd done

Beat a pretty young nurse to death with my bare hands while she cried and begged for her life.

>DM: What tipped you off that she was a Demon in disguise?
>Me: She was a Demon in disguise?

Was a weird circumstance...

I masqueraded as a human as a doppelganger for the entire campaign, only the GM was in on it. Then at the end, I was the BBEG.

They didn't see that one coming.

Love it.

How long was the campaign? Also, did you drop hints in their faces to laugh about later?

Everyone was surprised that I managed to get away with it more than anything. If there's hard feelings, I'm not aware. Everyone save one guy's characters were not very nice people by intention (Our party face scalped people on the reg) so it's not like they'll be missed.

So there we were, tropical island full of superhumans. Something of a Xavier Institute but in international waters and about 3,000 of us students rather than a couple dozen. Early parts of the game, where this initial cucking occured, was designed to be Heavy Roleplay, based around assembling our friends and enemies and those who we'd have on our Hero Teams. Best friend had a twin sister, and he was also dating a fairly hot blonde, kind of looked like his sister, tried not to read too much into that. But kind of had a thing for his sister started hitting on her a bit, working towards getting laid. Some time does pass, do the superhero thing for a bit, eventually I hook up with her. Then my buddy has a nasty argument with his old lady. She leaves mad as fuck. So his old lady decides she's going to find someone to get laid, someone of loose morals and flexible integrity. So I gets a phone call from her. Well negotiations and lots of drinking between the three of us and well shit happened.

Skipping along two years later, i'm single, his sister is pissed at me over something or another. Were dealing with some Vampires, buddy got bit and was rapidly turning into a feral monster. Put a gun loaded with silver up the back of his head. Told him I was sorry about sleeping with his girlfriend, he said what and BOOM. Had sympathy/makeup/grief bang sex with his sister three hours later.

Murdered a teenage girl who trusted me for a tracking device.
To be fair, the tracking device works on anyone who lived in the city the game is set in, where all citizens have to have an identifying chip in their neck by law. It's also crazy illegal and costs more than a luxury vehicle.
The girl was also an evil cunt.

Sounds like a pretty rad game you're playing in, man. Was that the climax of it? Or did you guys just roll up a few new characters and keep going?

I told someone I'd kill them last.

I lied.

Sacrificed my entire party in order to make myself a lich so i could live eternally with an elf, because i played a human.

> evil dnd game
> I missed out on a few sessions cause wage slave
> Dm does a few private games to get me caught up and add some more elements he can play with to the story later
> group of cultists say they can locate the group I'm tracking
> "All we need is some bystander to use as a sacrifice"
>" does it matter who?"
>" no any random person off the street will do"
> slice his throat open and toss him into the circle

We had a suprising amount of fun situations that went like that including a hilarious story involving the razing of a town and a homicidal Dwarven monk

It went on for a couple of years, mostly because we got busy with IRL stuff and had to take long breaks here and there.

And oh yes. Can't remember any good ones off the top of my head, but they did piece it together that yes, I indeed was a doppelganger the entire time and no this wasn't just a last minute plot twist.

You couldn't use reincarnation?

>Sold once free peoples in to slavery.

>Made faustian deals with devils and demons.

>Prolonged conflict to profit from it, both financially and politically.

>Defiled the dead.

As a magic-y type, I purposefully let an ally die, making it look like an accident, so I could take advanced ranks as a necromancer and make him a flesh golem.

Fortunately, the campaign bombed waaaaay before that came to light.

Ally being my close friends character that I know he spent a good bit of time on....

We ran it in arcs, sometimes we'd revisit parties, sometimes not. This was an arc where we played as allies of the antagonists. It ended up helping all the good guys.

Wrote a song about the Elven Queen involving her... love of horses. Played it on every stage, in every tavern, and for anybody with functional ears. Made the song spread like wildfire until the it was pretty much a meme that the Elven Queen fucked animals.

Neglected to tell a town of gypsies that our Rogue may have been bitten by a werewolf, on the night of the first full moon after he had, in fact, been bitten.
Casualties were high, but they turned out to be the bandits who stole the magic sword we were tasked with finding, so meh.
Of course, that means I'm also at least partly responsible for the creation of a roving pack of Gypsy Werewolf Bandits, but they're in the desert and a long way away from me at the moment, so that not exactly a ME problem.

You. I like you. You're a cunt, but a funny one.

>Chaotic """""Good"""""

"THAT'S EBUL!"
"I know. I do bad things for good reasons."
That's why I'm always CG or some form of neutral. Or even better, NE, with the "evil has loved ones" trope in full gear.

Exactly.

Party didn't want neutrals or evildoers in their lofty ranks. Bunch of After School Special stereotypes. So I did a lot of rationalizing and double-talking my dirty work into "For the Greater Good" type stuff.

Metagaming bitches had a 20 minute piss and moan session the first time I used Slight of Hand to 'enhance' my share of the loot after I found a stash and disarmed the trap on it. So I arranged a hand signal system with the DM to roll it without them seeing from then on.

I used all the stolen loot to buy them class-appropriate gear they were too dumb to realize they needed. My character thought he knew how to equip them better than they did, which he did.

"Greater Good" :-)

>tfw NE mercenary type with a LE waifu

She's constantly being full evil and he was always doing horrible things to cover it up and keep her safe.

What's greater good about shooting a guy in the back and killing him in cold blood for being rude?

Teaching the world some fucking manners.

That goddamn monk

> attacked by bandits in the night
> we've been seeing a group shadow us for days
> as we fight the monk screams "take one alive!"

shortly after he screamed this he rolled a critical and drove his fist clear through a man's head.

***

>In a town trying to get dirt on our maguffin we've been tracking.
> bar fight erupts between the orc barbarian and the monk
> others get involved
> guards show up to break up brawl. Get straight up murdered
> a fire starts and quickly gets out of control
> group scatters as they flee
> monk runs about the town until he shakes his guards
> sees a crowd of people watching a building burn
> "what's going on?" He asks completely oblivious
>" some assholes and their crazy dwarf set fire to the tavern"
> guy looks down "holy shit you're a crazy dwarf!"
Guy realizes his mistake and punches the npc In the nuts before fleeing.
Ends up being pursued by the entire angry mob and manages to stay ahead of them cause of his monk bonus to land speed. He ended up bringing the entire crowd to the rest of the group on the edge of town.

Good times

Watched a woman die without bothering to spend a willpower point to first aid her, after I lit up her car with a 9mm shooting at someone else.

You're either a very self-aware edgelord or actually insane

Only one way to find out, I suppose.

I'll need a sharp instrument, a bus full of children, and sunglasses.

Allied my galactic empire with a conqueror in order to topple another conqueror.
After the glorious final battle with his troops charging our enemies, my troops delivering air support, and him dueling and killing the enemy leader I gave him and his men a few minutes to celebrate before ordering my men to slaughter them all.
I handily defeated the already bloodied conqueror in single combat and informed him that my people would be taking control of the planets he conquered, would take credit for defeating the enemy, and that he would be forgotten by history.
I then killed him while doing an Ojou laugh.

you seem like a cunt

forget about that "very self-aware" part

I was running a small crime sydicate, and I was in fairly good standings with the other crime lords. One crime lord goes bat shit crazy and attacks three other peoples guild halls leaving only their leaders and immediate retainers alive. I offer them asylum, over dinner I figure out that they're all fundamentally really good people doing the robin hood thing, and then they proceed to die from the poisoned food I had served.

I'm 90% sure I had a reason for doing this at the time, but for the life of me In can't remember what it was.

As the captain of a privateer ship making a trading run, One dark and foggy night the crew spotted ship approaching us. We doused all the lights in on the ship tried to maneuver around it, thinking that they were pirates. Eventually came to close and I ordered The crew to fire on them. As it turns out they were runaway slaves who had stolen a slave ship. We collected the survivors and eventually sold them back to the slavers. Didn't sit well to well with the party.

Changeling: almost sell out at least 75% of a freehold to the Fae in exchange for them kidnapping a few problematic members of Task Force Valkyrie.

Crawled on my four and nealry licked someones feet for mercy.
Fortunetly a npc came to help me, so I actually didn't have to do it.

Chaotic Anything isn't a license to just act retarded all the time, especially when you say you're 'good'.

Stole God's brain.

I didn't know he was God at the time, but still.

Worth it.

Told the party I'd arrange to have my druid circle collect a dragon egg we'd collected so they didn't feel bad about smashing a live egg, and actually handed it off to the Department of Gnomeland Security to be raised as a living weapon.

Context?

killed an ally then fucked his corpse and used it like puppet, fucking dirty muslim pissed off the wrong white guy

L-London?

>BBEG is a lich who (as we find out after a long campaign) is basically starting a world war between all the major powers
>the situation starts escalating as dead people rise from the graves all over the world
>teleportation and summoning magic stops working
>clerics start to lose high level spells for some reason
>elves decide that human mages are responsible for all that and decide to use ancient weapons of mass destruction that obliterate a few armies
>humans start killing all elven prisoners of war
>we finally find the lich at some ancient ruins
>he tells us that Atropus (the living undead planetoid of spooky doom from Elder Evils) is entering the solar system and is on the collision course with the planet. That's why all the dead people are rising from the graves and other shit happens
>he needs all those deaths to power an ancient orbital defense platform
>immediately side with him and fight the party, defeating them but leaving everyone alive, as clerics can't even cast raise dead now
>send "ur a faget" letters to every major nation, blaming other nations for everything that happens
>millions of people die
>giant space laser fires and grazes Atropus, making it leave the solar system, but destroys almost all vegetation on the planet while powering up
>the atmosphere is fucked up as well
>the party wakes up in a post-apocalyptic world
>everything happened because a single wizard wanted his friends and loved ones to stay alive
DM actually wanted us to take a spaceship ride to Atropus, but he was fine with that conclusion as well. Needless to say, my alignment wasn't TN anymore.

Party jumped on the murder hobo train so I sold our haven out from under them to the local prince and relocated without telling them. They came from from their latest shennanigans to find our haven in the possession of the princes men. A gunfight errupts ending in an armed standoff after which the entire party died in a last stand against the mortal police. Meanwhile I watched it all on tv in my cheap apartment in china town.

Congrats, you're a huge THAT GUY ,a sociopath, and autistic enough to apply your /pol/ fantasies to real life.

On the other hand, BoED also has Good mindrape, poisons and diseases to use against Evil beings.

Lawful good?

... what gun?

the Desert Eagle

I'll explain a bit more, but wanted to point out that nothing after was actually me.

The killing in question was of a lieutenant of a very bad man, a real piece of shit that needed killing more every day he drew breath.

We needed a lead on his boss and the party wanted to try and talk it out of him despite the fact that my night of stalking him through the city showed that this was unlikely to work. The arrow in question simply put an end to a long session of talking in circles and getting nowhere. I had planned out an encounter in a dark alley to sap him silly and take the info we needed, but the party had put him on guard with their need to solve the problem with talk. Their social ineptitude meant he ended his night out early and thus was not walking home drunk but rather was going to get his boys with only a couple of drinks under his belt.

This was the one and only time that character had killed anyone who wasn't directly attacking him, and it came as a last ditch attempt to salvage a plan that would have ended with him wearing a noose anyway.

I remember you, hope you find an STC to the Juan Deag one day so you can fire your rounds at retards

I played a medieval sex doll golem.
Who would always remove his pants at the start of every fight and use his penis as a two handed mace.

>retarded all the time
Is a broad statement to make without real context. A few memorable snippets of a twice weekly game that lasted years is hardly enough to make that kind of call.

The fact that you'd make that leap makes me wonder what kind of people you've encountered to make you assume you can take the measure of a character you've only seen a few minutes worth of, out of hundreds of hours.

'All the time' is hyperbole, not meant to be taken literally.

Well, I guess it's time I write down the "Howdy Incident."

>All players are Gunslinger Gestalt
>We've been hired, for one reason or another, to rob the first national bank of Not!WildWest
>I'm Snaps, the Goblin Gunslinger Cavalier.
>Four strangers, a Gun Wizard, a Gun... Orc, a Gun Monk, and a Gun... I forget the other guy.
>I roll up into the tavern where we're supposed to meet and go up to the counter.
>Howdy.
>Bartender just keeps wiping his cups and stuff.
>Eventually, enough time in the bar gets us all introduced to each other.
>Each of us has this magic paper that when we put it together, it tells us the plan.
>As we're figuring it out, bartender gets curious and looks over.
>This is where the first ring of hell begins.
>I spin around, pull out my gun and put it right up against his chin.
>"Oh, now you see me?"
>He pleads for his life.
>"Next time someone says 'Howdy', you reciprocate."
>Intimidate check.
>Rock it hard as fuck.
>He yells for help.
>Seconds later we hear lawmen pouring out from nearly every building in town.
>We pack our shit and vamoose.
>I was one of the only ones to make it out of town without getting seen.
>The lawmen saw everyone else's faces.
>Oops.

There's two more parts.

...

Arnie / 10

In one adventure we played I continuously bullied another character in our group so hard the player started to cry profusely and the GM and I had to have "the talk".

>Orc and Mr.-I-Forgot (let's call him MIF) get into a fight because the Orc is feral.
>Don't ask.
>So me and the Gun Wizard decided to sneak off while Gun Monk tried to keep that shit under control.
>We headed back to town to see if we could round up a new group to push forward with the heist plan.
>Town was still pretty riled up, so we just looked down from a nearby hill.
>I get the crazy idea to go into town and do some recruiting, since the lawmen wouldn't recognize me.
>Gun Wizard says "Sure, I'll back you up."
>"I'll holler if I need you."
>I stroll into town.
>DM says "Where do you look?"
>I end up going into the tavern.
>I went right back into the fucking tavern.
>Stroll through the front door.
>Lawmen are asking the bartender questions.
>Sneak right up to the counter and calmly aim my gun at the bartender.
>"Howdy, fellas." Intimidate check at the bartender. Botch.
>"THAT'S HIM!"
>He falls to his knees and grabs a shotgun from beneath the counter.
>Solo combat starts.
>Manage to end up in a 1-vs-7 combat with lawmen and the bartender.
>they manage to push me into the backroom where all the ale barrels are.
>managed through nimbleness and luck to dodge nearly every shot except for one, and it was a doozy.
>One lawman gets me square in the arm.
>don't like my chances so I pull out a powder keg from under my cloak and drop it on the floor in front of me.
>shout for the Wizard out the backdoor (long since burst open)
>They all shoot at me and damn near take me under.
>Turns out, the wizard actually ditched me to go over to the next town.
>No backup, four enemies left, and about to die.
>kick forward the powder keg.
>It rolls into the middle of all four of them.
>strike a match and chuck it.
>Tavern goes up in flames
>All the lawmen in the tavern are dead from the explosion
>Bartender too
>say "Shoulda said howdy."
>black out in the blaze and die in the fire.

One more part.

Where else would the club be?

Delta?

>during solo combat, Orc and MIF managed to resolve their differences.
>except they totally didn't
>DM decided to let them rewind their entire everything because the session was going to shit.
>Gave Gun Orc the ability to speak and understand Common for free.
>Orc didn't use it, but he didn't have an excuse to start shit anymore.
>As soon as I died, DM saw an opportunity to start the whole session fresh again.
>Gun Wizard was now not!Gun Wizard.
>I was not not!Snaps, called myself Claps.
>And we'd been fast forwarded past the secret plan on magic paper stuff.
>The tavern stayed demolished and all those lawmen stayed killed.
>DM didn't want us anywhere near that place again.
>Party goes in casing mode.
>I go checking out other buildings while I wait for them to figure shit out.
>End up in general store
>Owner thinks I'm a kid
>Gives me a gold coin
>Not even mad
>Party still casing the outside, so I go inside.
>First National Bank of Not!WildWest
>Tell the DM I wanna wander in there like I'm going to open a bank account to deposit my coin.
>Plan is to convince get a random yokel in a conversation so I don't look suspicious just wandering about in the bank.
>Not sure if I nail my bluff check, but the first dude I talk to is a fucking cocksucker.
>"Howdy."
>The dude looks down at me and snuffs me.
>Unlike Snaps, Claps has been trying to work on his anger management.
>"Excuse me, sir. I was just trying to be friendly."
>"Bugger off."
>DM isn't playing it off as a 'stop doing this', so I keep it going.
>"That's no way to greet somebody."
>I forgot what he said next, but it was some sort of goblin racism.
>I couldn't pass it up.
>Instead of pulling out my gun, I started a commotion calling him racist.
>Lawman comes over.
>"Is there a problem here?"
>"Yeah, there's a problem here! This guy's fucking racist!"
>"Not talking to you, troublemaker."
>Now they both done fucked up.
>Party is now accutely aware that shit's about to go down.

This part needs to be split.