Gosh, user

I flipped her skirt in front of my friends

I learned dread sorceries of Fate at her secret temple, then walked away, breaking my oaths of initiation, to profit from my powers as an adventurer.

Lewd, user.

Be such a loser

Fuck her in the butt

>Goddess of Misfortune plagues you with curses
>Misfortune
>Not Fortune in general

Wouldn't getting Curses from her be a Blessing due to her liking you?

I slept with her sister, Lady Luck.

Someone asked me out on a date because I was cuter than she was.

Don't be prettier than goddesses, it's bad news.

He made the sacrifice we all wished we were man enough to make. *salutes the user*

Personally, I straight up woke up on the left side of the bed instead of the right. My left arm has been shit all day, and as a lefty it's annoying as fuck.

She was a such slut anyways.

Who the fuck cares?

I got drunk one night, trashed her temple and spent a lot of time fondling the statuary.

Jerked off onto a black cat

I said she was cute.

I DIDNT KNOW /tg! IM SORRY!

rumor has it the only luck involved is people believing she was born a lady

>tfw have enough luck to protect me from any of her shenanigans.

You fool, that's how you get "Protagonist Luck"
Where you constantly get tossed into horrible situations, and somehow make it out alive.

CUTE?!!! She's a goddess! She's beautiful, mortal!

CUTE!
U
T
E
!

Don't you mean "desecration"?

I'm almost positive that if you defecate in a temple you've desecrated it.

no, no he does not.

Best Goddess of Misfortune coming through!

Rolled 51 (1d100)

So if you try to pull out she makes you go off early, and if you try to go off inside you slip out before you can?

>That
>Best

My luck was wayyyyyy over the Max so she wanted to put me back in my place
Also I told her my hair was better looking

I don't know, is lusting after her enough to provoke her? Because holy damn there is just something about that pose

It's the butt, isn't it?

Spread heresy by claiming she was actually a goddess of good luck named "Miss Fortune."
I thought she would like the good PR, but it turns out she's happy with how she's seen now.

the butt, yeah, but the expression doesn't help at all

I told her that Aragoto was disappointing

I didn't flush a second time.

I lied on a medicine check so I wouldn't save a character

You big meanie.

I made a bet with her that she couldn't make my life any more miserable than it was. Now I'm married to her. Lesson learned.

Me personally? Nothing. I just inherited my family's curse.
My Great Grandfather was an oil man.He was drilling in the Panhandles of Texas and Oklahoma back before everyone and their dog was. Well he wasn't a very honest man, and screwed an Oklahoma Indian tribe out of a bunch of land. So much so that the Medicine Man cursed him an all his male decedents. The curse struck him first. His oil fields weren't producing much at all, so he sold his half to his partner for $100 and a used pick-up truck. 2 Weeks later they torpedoes the wells and they started SPEWING oils. My grandfather received .35 cents a month in royalties until he died.
Then my Grandfather. When he was 36 he was career military. Staff Sargent, intelligence. According to Grandma he was one of the guys who discovered some of the first North Korean invasion tunnels. He was in El Paso Texas, where he was from, riding his motorcycle one night when his hat blew off. Now his CO had given him that hat. He had jokingly ordered my Grandfather not to lose it. So he hops off his bike to grab it. Gets hit by an 18 wheeler. That fucking him up bad. He had a metal rod in his left leg his whole life after that. He had problems his whole life because of it.
Then my father. When he was 35 he was a trucker. One day while securing his payload, one of his straps broke. He hurt his back and was in a wheelchair for a year. He had to walk with a cane after that. Well a few years later down the line, he gets t-boned in an intersection. His seat-belt snaps, and his airbag doesn't go off. Due to an incompetent lawyer the lawsuit never goes through. He was in a wheelchair for 8 years this time, only started walking again on '08. He still doesn't have feeling in his right leg though.
So, my fate is thus; When I'm 34 I'll also have an accident involving a big rig. Since we've gone under and off, I'm going under one and I'll lose one of my legs, rather then just lose functions.

hey I'm not saying it wasn't good it's just that the pacing of the manga didn't work for the anime

Oh, and by the way, My Great Grandfather? He didn't even keep record of what tribe it was, so I can't even go apologize, try to get the curse lifted.

That just means you have to kill them all

I love it when they to that thing with their bangs. Covering the one eye I mean.

I doubt that will help Mr. Jackson.

>Don't you mean "desecration"?
No, I don't.

t. Secundus

magic can only be defeated by magic

that's why you go to hoodoo doctor and get some magic bathsalts, a wizard for a shield charm, a farie to make a glamour ring, and a chi master for a puffer fish gourd

Seeing as how Big Rigs have plenty of steel and iron in them, can I skip the ring?

that's why you got the shield charm user. and depending on how much energy you put into it before you get hit, you could totally walk away from the big rig and be none worse for the wear.

granted, that would take a decent amount of time, but im sure your life is worth it.

>magic can only be defeated by magic
a high enough strength score says otherwise

MAGIC MUST DEFEAT MAGIC

I called her a slut after she spread misfortune around my whole party. Now only I get the bad luck.

Nothing, I'm her chosen "champion." Turns out being misfortune's favorite means I'm buried it all the time.

Well she told me that she was taking the pill, so I thought I could ditch the condom.

No way in hell I'm taking responsibility for a demi-god bastard child that is tainted with eternal bad luck! Now she's kind of mad at me and won't give up the puss, anymore. :(

Underrated comment.

>Weeb picture
>thread topic clearly designed as an excuse to post it.

This isn't a thread, this is a desperate cry for help.

What about a temple dedicated to the God of Asses?

Told her to fuck off.

Her mother seduced me.

Been a white male

>Faggot statement
>Reply clearly designed as an excuse to suck cocks
This isn't a reply, this is a desperate cry for dick.

Petty insults and curses. This is just her getting even, i fear what she has planned for revenge.

I was born.

Who is this pink-haired vixen and why do I have an urge to pull down her skirt?

Athena did nothing wrong.

I put it in the wrong hole.

She's Kofuku from Noragami. Literally best girl.

>down
>not up
skirts were made for a reason, user

I didn't rape her, but I didn't get consent either.
You too? God damn it.

Because you're a sad Weeb that didn't get enough pussy in high school.

People really think like this, unironically? I've been getting laid like 3 times a day since I was 16, and I find it fun to imagine fucking OP girl too.

I could have sworn I saw a lamp with that pattern once. Regardless. Bad user. We do not touch the Kofu. No matter how bratty she is being.

She asked me if that skirt made her butt look big. I said yes.

>not wanting to rip open that shirt instead
Inferior taste.

>it took 31 posts for Hina to be mentioned

2hu truly is reclining

That's funny, because in the show she actually does pretend to be the god of good luck for "business reasons". Who the fuck would worship a goddess of misfortune.

People who like bad luck?

Way to tell that nerd what's up, Chad.

You also got a 9 inch cock?

I hear a lot of chefs at Wendy's are like that.

No, I have a pretty average 6-incher.

>Wendy's chef
I dunno, is this supposed to make me mad? lol. Just questioning the idea that "getting enough pussy" when you're in highschool decided whether or not you're going to be a horndog later in your adult years, like vitamin D and rickets or something.

Sure buddy.

She finally said yes.

She did?

The thieves from the city managed to steal my last call scroll, so I couldn't call next morning. I suspect she sent them after me and is just being jealous of the paladin's boobs.

Damn. I don't believe in curses but you may want to visit somebody about that.

rip the dream

yep

For serious. I bet is the type of guy who'd open Google then search for "www.youtube.com".

>not pulling down her skirt so her legs are tied together at the thigh
>not fucking that sweet little apple-bottomed hole as she is immobilized
get real

that's what her panties are for user-kun

...

Panties stretch and tear. I was never a fan of twisting or tying panties.

That skirt? Is made of pretty stern stuff, in comparison, and is just the right shape for what I need already.

Besides, I need to be able to rip them off and stuff the in her face without compromising her restraint.

People who want her to bring misfortune to their enemies.
People who want her to keep misfortune away from them.
People who want to build up a lot of good karma by suffering.
Masochists.
Whoever the hell it is who worships all the Evil gods that it doesn't make much sense to worship.

Only fools proptiate Malia and her ilk.