A few days ago...

"The massive" is pretty massive and has I believed smashed through a moon before unharmed, it also went straight through a star and came out without any noticeable damage to the ship or crew

They have some pretty OTT tech and enslave every race they come across, the general joke is that the tech is pretty obvious or clearly alien but humans are just too self involved or dumb to notice

I know of a certain Gaulish village that would at the very least hold out against enslavment

Since this is already happening in a universe of silliness and stupidity I'm guessing this guy could probably take them over the course of most of an afternoon

"Let's pretend the Romans didn't stomp us into the dirt and sell our women as slaves at every port in the Mediterranean: The Comic."

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Culture
Does your ships run on black holes? no?

...

> The Culture
At least when OPM, Invader Zim or Asterix talk about how stupidly, unstoppably powerful their characters are they do it as a joke.

why would you want to use a black hole as a power source?

You tell me.
Yea, it's a star kept on the brink between supernova and black hole stages, but it kinda counts.

Because scifi

Because its the Culture. An entire series about Mary-Sues curb stomping the galaxy. Everything they do is both ludicrously exaggerated and taken with the utmost seriousness.

because it's cool.jpg.

Fuckloads of different factions in the Culture series, including The Culture itself. Especially whoever built the Excession.

Loads of faction from the Xeelee verse, including the Xeelee

Forerunners, ancient humans, precursors/flood from halo.

Whatever those guys from Hyperion Cantos are called.

Gunbuster/diebuster

Probably fuckloads more. Read a book nigga

>the flood
its stupid though

the flood is mega dumb with their magical powers, but they are very poweful

Ghostbusters could beat them by simply releasing all of their ghosts on board the ship. And when you can be countered by ghostbusters....

>the flood is mega dumb with their magical powers, but they are very poweful
Like, get big enough, and they can INFECT THINGS WITH THEIR MIND!

>Mary-Sues
I just finished a Culture book where the main character was a delusional war criminal. I don't think you know what Mary Sue means.

Of course I know what it is, it's any character I don't like.

Seriously though the culture itself is the problem, not the shmucks they get to help them.

>Loads of faction from the Xeelee verse, including the Xeelee
And the humans.
This setting probably has one of the OP-est all-human faction ever.

The flood really confuse me. How can something that was in the games from the beginning, which predates the zombie craze by quite a bit, feel like something the suits forced into the game because zombies are popular?

Oversaturation.

The Flood were a really cool idea at the time. Sort of like a more video-gamey version of the Thing. But because of franchise bloat, the sudden popular surge of zombies/parasites which make zombies, and the fact Halo lunatics are now running the asylum and have been for several years means the apple really lost its shine.

I dont know a huge amount about black holes but I have heard that they actually shoot energy out their top and bottom.

I do believe black holes produce some kind of energy. But trying to maintain them or "farm" them is incredibly implausible for a variety of reasons.

Well, it's not easy, but harnessing the Hawking radiation that certain singularities give out can hypothetically lead to excellent amounts of power.

This. The Culture is shit, but many characters/stories are great because they focus on the guys on the fringe that aren't part of the mainstream culture of, well, Culture. They're less up-their-own-ass retarded.

Chozo people
Their only error was to try to eradicate a lethal plague by making another more lethal and sadistic plague and skynet

Depends on what rules of sci-fi the plot is playing by, mainly if it allows for cartoony powers or not.

But even then doesn't /co/ have the marvel universe which is full of super-powered bullshit?

Stop making powerlevel threads.

Matter falls into a black hole. Black holes spin so the matter forms a disc on a plane. The matter is pulled apart and ions shot out of the top and bottom of the black hole. Ions = electricty... more or less

I remember those threads. One of the match ups i was really interested was end of arc 1 Robotech Zentradi vs the IoM. It ended up with a pretty in depth discussion about if the IoM would accept the Zentradi as Abhumans created with Dark Age tech or if they were xenos, the general consensus being abhumans.

The next logical step was of course was if the IoM could identify the importance of lynn minmei, convert her to the Imperial cult, slap some Soratias armor on her, install IoM comparable vox systems on the entire Zentradi fleet then sing them towards the eye of terror to give Abbadon the worst and most confusing day of his (soon to be ended) life.

You're forgetting that Irken technology has a very obvious weakness.

I'm not sure if Zim's equipment is indicative of broader Irken technology. His ship is the functional equivalent of a John Deere ATV and his personal robot is literally the contents of a wastebasket stuffed inside a chassis.

Can't withstand the entire first company terminators deep striking inside.

The fact that GIR functions at all is a terrifying statement about the Irken tech level. Also the fact that the Mega Doomer Combat Stealth Mech was a basic infantry unit that Zim forget to get a battery for is kinda scary.

When I want to watch that I watch Stargate SG1.

Isn't that thing riptide size, or dreadnaught size? Sure a fuck ton of meltas can take it out

I need to make a 'Almighty Tallest' government type mod for Stellaris.

It is invisible. Not like Tau Stealth suit cloaking, it is straight up invisible.

Does anyone else want to run an Irken Invader campaign now? The thought had never occurred to me before but I really want to. Fate would work well here, I think. It would require a very skilled, funny GM to make it zany and absurdist like the show instead of an endless parade of lolrandum spork-holding like the fanbase which immediately disqualifies me, but it could work.

I think the Irjen work better as an antagonist faction in a larger sci fi game but that's just me. The only parts of that show i find at all funny or interesting is this galaxy-conquering empire's bizarre behavior.

How would the Irken respond to 1000 full size berserkers

But the pilot isn't .

The Culture could
>Ships that move and shoot 240,000 times faster than the speed of light

Probably lazering it from orbit like they did with the mutant slaughter rat people. Though they seem to do this with most planets they probably wont enslave them to work in their food courts like they normally would

>The Empire uses most of its slave capital for food courts and conquers entire worlds to boost its junk food production.

How have we never talked about this world building.

>Release Ghosts on board the ship.
First off how are they getting into space far outside our own galaxy,
Secondly Which ship? The Massive? They will be teleported into space if they set foot on it, before releasing the ghosts. That's if they even survive the Armada firing upon them.

>Ghosts
Zims has dealt with the Haloweenies already and a race of reality warpers are the Irken empires main enemy.

Depends on the Irken Invader and their Height.
Someone who could become Tallest if Red and Purple were to die would most likely just glass the planet (Though then you question why they aren't invading the planet of couches)
Skoodge: Lazor from orbit.
Zim: Megadoomer, Gir, Mars .etc He mainly fails due to his petty feud with Dib. If he ignored dibs existence he would have won already.
Tak: Hollow out the planet killing off all life and filling the inside with snacks for a galactic pit stop for the Massive.

Honestly, the armada probably won't even attack the ghostbusters. It depends on if they want to conquer the planet or not, and how stupid they're feeling at the time, on if they just feel like cutting the knot.

That wasn't an intended effect of the Megadoomer. The Tallest wouldn't have sent it to the person they intended to if they knew of that flaw. Most likely was sabotaged by an enslaved race.

>depends on if they want to conquer the planet.
They don't. Zim is on earth solely so he can't fuck up Impending Doom 2. Earth is at the edge of the edge of their maps, infact it isn't on their map, its on a piece of paper attached to their map. Earth offers them nothing, its so far away that it wont even be in danger of being glanced at by the Tallest for their "blow shit up for fun" quest.

>Except Irkens are stupid as fuck, put whoever is tallest in charge
>Space Veeky Forums

>Are there any factions that could match/surpass the Irken Empire?

THE SKAVEN UNDEREMPIRE

user they were the first ones wiped out

Man. I got to watch this series again.

This. They sent a guy to the slave planet after graphically implying he'd die horribly .

And then he won.

they were cool when it was only halo CE, trust me

>stupidly overpowered
I rate them as a moderate high space empire.

They have great machines, but they themselves suck REALLY REALLY BAD.

Which means they are extremely vulnerable to someone who sucks slightly less at things like infiltration.

Solid snake, for instance, could destroy the massive in a couple days.

>This

The Irken are basically a race of giant idiots with very very big lasers. Any race with even halfway decent covert ops will tear them apart from the inside.

I agree with the general sentiment here, but I feel you're being a bit harsh on the setting. The Culture is supposed to be a utopia from the outset, and stories are built around how people react to that. Some deal with the existential crisis that comes from a lack of survival or purpose, while others just get bored.

In Player of Games, it's shown that the most valuable thing a person can have is their reputation, since it's one of the few things you can't materialize yourself. Consider Phlebas is at least partially about how that community goes to war with a culturally incompatible species.

Underrated post.

Chozo represent!

I liked the show in it's entirety.

Granted, it could be a little grating at times, but it's positives outweighed it's negatives for me.

The biggest negative for me was the lack of character development over time, the characters maintained the same stagnant mold, though I guess that's a joke as well.

Chozo are fucking great and fucking insane.

Irkens vs Tyranids would be interesting.

Both are mindlessly aggressive and seeking expansion at all costs.

Saitama wank

Pls go

Huh, you know all this time, I never knew what the reddit thingy was. I-it's a monkey, right?

The other GIR models seem pretty Omni-competant, though.

The ones that appear with other invaders seem incredibly powerful, and is there really any reason that the Irkens should need actual boots on the ground?

Seems like their robots could do it.

Best post

What if Tolkien finished The Unfinished Tales and Hubbard was killed while in the millitary?
You would have a Scientology like cult based on LotR

if we're discussing literary What If's, my personal choices would be;

What If William Hope Hodgson hadn't died in World War 1?

What If Robert E Howard hadn't committed suicide?

What If HP Lovecraft hadn't died young due to Cancer?

now those would have some interesting effects in my opinion

Why don't you go ask your buddies and never come back

I'm pretty sure The Massive could solo a good number of entire space forces/civilizations in various settings.

I'd like to see you try.

>Except Irkens are stupid as fuck

That's not totally true, a good number of them are stupid, but most are just mercurial and easily amused. Some though are very competent and capable, such as Tak.

Also one of the Tallest, I think Red, was shown to be similarly highly competent, when the situation demanded it or was dangerous.

>put whoever is tallest in charge

Technically speaking the Tallest are just figureheads. As I remember, the super AI computers are actually in charge, or at least govern and organize the empire.

It's like an entire society of Mary-Sues.

>i never played the first Halo in a vacuum
They were good until they introduced the Gravemind and all that fucking shit.

Pretty sure a slave intentionally fucked up Zim's specific Megadoomer.

I'd always thought it required the pilot to plug into the mech, or some special pilot suit to properly use, and Zim just didn't or forgot to because he was so excited to get it and take it out.

>a race of reality warpers

That's a pretty good point, if the Meekron can actively and seemingly easily manipulate and alter reality, and the Irkens are a serious threat to them. To the extent where if I'm not mistaken, the Irkens were their main enemy and defeating them overall, while the Meekron to the Irkens were just another of countless enemies.

>240,000 times faster than the speed of light
Oddly specific number. How do they come by it?

>due to Cancer
It wasn't cancer, it was indigestion because the stupid fucker would exclusively eat heavy cream and bread.

I keep seeing people in this thread say the Irken are stupid.
The only really stupid Irken we've seen are Zim and one of the tallest.
Also, no one is talking about the implication of the PAK being the true mind of the Irken.

The thing is, most of the novels are basically about going "Yes, we could go in guns blazing and destroy everything and everyone in the vicinity of this problem, but we're looking for solutions other than that". It's kind of nice reading science fiction that's not huge space battles and the application of overwhelming military force, but rather about the exploits of people who are trying to stop it getting that far.

Sucks that Iain Banks died though. Hydrogen Sonata was okay, but kind of a bum note to end the series on.

I'm pretty sure at this point the only sane person in the entire Metroid setting is Samus.

And even that's iffy.

The Oankali from Octavia Buttler's books (picture related, picture that when watching this scene with no FX budget...then remember that is a custom gene-sequenced "human interaction" individual within the greater eusocial colony) youtube.com/watch?v=zyG8I9lixbc
The basic idea of their shtick was Tyranid crossed with Borg--predating either and not nerfed for balance or handed the idiot ball so humans had a fighting chance.
They rolled in made with the your biological, social, and technological advances will now become part of us their "ship" performed mitosis using our resources, sending off a "clean" copy in case of a problem, and converting the remaining biosphere of the planet into the new hybrid...picture ALL life repurposed as sentient cells within a single collective organism, the lifeless planets of the system seeded with basic life...including the cellular organelle to perform genetic engineering that is what Oankali consider to be Oankali...the daughter-ships fly off towards the most promising report from an individually-sentient "genestealer"-like scout. Repeat procedure.

No evidence of the degree of "so advanced it's magic" tech that the godlike Minds of the Culture throw around, but as far as "consuming the Galaxy" or "utilizing everything that has ever been used against us," they seem to have their imitators in other works beat:they actually understood and used EVERYTHING better than whomever they took it from, making the enslaving Irkens look like Da Boyz, by comparison.

Then there are The Gatekeepers from the Shlock Mercenary webcomic.
We the radio signals from Earth reached the nearest star they had networked, they launched their MASSIVE "stargate" towards their origin point, when it arrived, centuries later...it sat there, in orbit around a gas giant, confusing and scaring the humans.
...then the advertising began...(to be continued)

>Are there any factions that could match/surpass the Irken Empire?

The Cosmocratic Alliance or the Atopic Tribunal from Perry Rhodan.

(continued)
"Travel the Milky Way! Explore the wonders of thousands of worlds first hand! For a low price, payable in your local curancies, our corporation, soon to be legally incorporated and licensed in your nations, will transport even your largest ship on stop, either inward or outward on this spiral arm! You should be informed that just three jumps inward is a major hub, allowing access to many exciting and exotic inhabited systems, throughout our Galaxy. Sorry, we are not publicly traded."
"Your primitive Internet seems to have broken, perhapse you were careless during all of these armed conflicts our arrival seems to have exacerbated. Allow us to connect you to Ours. It is so much better than your Internet, we have instant comunication...you will be able to connect your citizens to the finest galactic Civilization has to offer! We'll show you how, free of charge!"
"You seem to be having a 'bootstrap' problem, building any of the new technologies that you've now become aware of; don't worry! We know of several anthropology departments who will be happy to give you a hand up. We can't be bothered, personaly but we will be glad to make the introductions! If your ''civilization" becomes prosperous, then you'll be sending more paid travel through Our gate--it's in our best interest!"
"You seem to have ruined your planet, don't worry! We know of an aquatic species that has never been able to get their own technology off the ground...it's hard underwater. Our diplomats will arrange for peaceful cross-colonization. They aren't even using the "dirt-to-sky" layers of their Homeworld, and we are sure they'd be overjoyed to let you exploit their un-utilized natural resources to fix your planet...provided that you keep your messy production facilities in orbit!"
"You seem to be having a war which could have adverse effects if it spreads, your system will be physically isolated until you calm down...see, that wasn't so bad...we'll let you travel again, now."
...

...all the while, the F'sherl-Ganni, the Gatekeepers species are so rarely seen that most Galactic Civilization's species wouldn't recognize them...dispite being the most populous species by a very wide margin, their population centers not even being listed in the various censuses that Galactic Civilization performs because they don't let outsiders explore the star-systems that disappeared long before humans left the trees, all output from their stars being collected, mainly to run the so called "gates" that build a copy of everything passing through them at their destination...and another one to be thoroughly disassembled/mindraped back at the power station...just to make sure that any competing technology can be squashed generations before any other species developed it...easy enough to do when you are the richest, most powerful nation, and control ALL comunications and travel.

Yes, the tall, horned, individual knows a great deal about the Incredibly rare Sargent Shlock's species (amorphs are savages on their homeworld, Schlock hitched a ride off-world with one of the many pirate ships that make port there) because he has personally tortured EXACT COPIES of Schlock to death, many times before.
Honorable mention goes to the "civilization" that is currently shielding the F'sheri-Ganni from retaliation for this. A networked collection of the artificial intelligences running warships that banded together to save all of their creators and refused to disband..."for the good of everyone." This gestalt Inteligence gets around its hard wired compulsions to obey an organic creator by growing organic brains of the appropriate species as new "nodes" in its collective, and happily collects entire armies that displease it, to set loose against other armies that they would rather fight presenting other AIs with convincing, logical arguments for why they should either join it, or work with it, assimilating libraries, taking over power generators and converting mass into factories to convert mass into factories.
(Picture is that AI's mental self-image. After it takes the galactic core, for use as a generator)

How the hell did Kevyn manage to re invent the teraport then?