Inquisitorial Penal Regiment Designation Veeky Forums

Damn, that post wasn´t supposed to be linked anywhere.

I don't remember you being around watching us all this time. Talking of things you know nothing of is practically heresy, eh.
And anyway fuck her, if she wants to go she can, given how she likes to blow everything out of proportion. Ships included. No, what ticks me off is that she knows where we are supposed to go, and we don't.
Also weren't she here to handle a problem about xeno governors? That is Wellesley for you, always leaving things unfinished... bah. Someone fetch me that adept!

The adept is not located nearby ma'm shall i fetch a search team?

You know what, yes. I am too tired to get divining now.

It turns out that tainting an entire ship, is actually a big deal. Blowing -that- out of proportion would be her claiming that you guys tainted the God Emperor.
Also.....that Adept guy sort of said, in the open what the missions were....uh....lemme check my combat recorder........
>Oddball drops into the interior of his tank and pops his head out several minutes later after some arguing and cursing.
There we are! Mission to secure a Space Hulk, which your Lieutenant Jackson expressed interest in, along with a mission on Tranch, something about breaching a hardened bunker.

Also....uh....wasn't that, like, your job? You do work for the Ordo Xenos right? I'd imagine....the....uh....Ordo Malleus would only be interested in death defying Sister's of Battle. Or y'know, Daemons.

Okay, i'm on it.

>Finishes his report to his master and returns to Alice
It is a pity we had to leave the regiment. I am certain they could use more information... I'll have to see an Astropath as soon as possible when we arrive.

... where you paying attention lately? Have we had anything else but daemons until now?
Stop trying to do the Inquisition's work, soldier, there must be a reason you are a sergeant in a penal regiment and not an interrogator, right? And did Wellesley hire you as her lawyer? Warp dammit...
Now, back to the serious business... this planet is a wreck. I doubt that whatever xeno was posing as the governor is still around, or has anything to gain by sticking here, but who understands xenos. Said sister is also dead... ah! "Dead"! There is something she doesn't seem able to be!
I suspect he left, but anyway...

kek

Indeed, it shouldn't be too long until we leave the Warp, I've been told the currents are favourable.
>Speaking of the Daemons, no sooner than Alice mentions leaving the Warp, does the klaxon telling people to "Brace for Realspace Transition" sound, followed by exactly that.
It shouldn't be too hard to find an Astropath, I suspect I'll have just enough time to show you to one before I head in to get shouted at. Shall we?
>Alice gestures to the Corridor that leads to the Shuttle Bay, among many other things.

Yes, thank you.
>Follows

Actually miss, I heard that you encountered plain old Heretics, Orks, 'self growing' Tyranids, not sure if that's even possible, 'friendly' Necrons, Tau....Genestealers.....quite a lot of Xenos. You'd be amazed at the tales Guardsmen will tell you after a bottle or a few or Rotgut.
And actually there is a reason, seems I'm rather 'mad;, as a hatter supposedly. But I'm also 'too useful to execute' so they stuck me here. Lucky me, got all these wonderful people to send out positive waves.

I was talking about this planet. We came for xenos and we ended up with a fistful of daemons... how many chances there are that this is a coincidence?
Uhm, you're just like Miranda, eh... Tell me you don't eat people too, I have enough of that kind of psychos already.

>The Malleus Benedictus enters Praetoria's atmosphere.
>Alice leads Callidon to a Valkyrie and climbs in, revealing Inquisitor Crawn is also coming along for the ride.
W-well.....whenever you're ready Adept Novus.
>The Valk would take off after he climbed in, headed for the Wellesley estate.

Do I eat.....people? Only if they put people in the cheese.
>As he says this, he takes a bite from a cheese wheel.

Whew. You are the sane kind of madmen.

Hello, Inquisitor.
>climbs in

>Patrol Group Hephaestus shortly follows suit

That's.....uh.....that's a good thing right? I mean, I'm getting a lot of positive waves right now, but I just want to be sure.
>Continues eating cheese.
>Offers Anna a bottle of Amasec.

Yeah... call it positive.
>she ignores the battle
Round up the people. We are leaving this planet.

Can we go somewhere sunny? I need to catch up on catching the rays.

>Walk up back into the camp and up to the drone.
Enough of this... Umm... Hello? Did I miss anything during my walk?

We are-
You know what, definitely somewhere sunny.

This is Inquisitrial Acolyte Callidon Novus, calling to the penal regiment designation Veeky Forums. Do you copy?

>The Inquisitor nods and then the Valkyrie is off, landing at the estate soon, which is also heavily guarded.

>The First Officer of the Benedictus signals that Admiral Sternbridge is allowed to take a Valkyrie down to the estate.

Penal Regiment de-wait, you cheeky cunt! Where are you!?

What? You weren't given shore leave? Was my squad really the only one?

Nothing much 'hun', we just drank and smoked really, got some positive waves. Also, we're apparently leaving.

Really? Neat, gonna have to murder me some enemy so I can chill without getting shot at.

How did you manage to get shore leave? Didn't blackmail an Officer did you?

I am on Praetoria with Interrogator Alice Wellesley. If I may, I would like to supply you with more knowledge of your next mission.

YOU BETTER!

>He'd let out a chuckle at this
Blackmail an officer? If only I had the balls to! I'd probably be up to Major by now.
No, I simply put in a request a while back for some time off for me and a few other squads.

Nothing much? And we are leaving? Sounds good to be finally leaving this mess. Hopefully not to another hellhole.
>Sams drone activates in her arms and flies around her.
Say, could I have a piece of cheese? I´m a little bit hungry.

It probably didn't hurt that I'm not a convict like a lot of the others on this ship.

Very well... The mission the main regiment is requested to do, is simple and straightforward: Assault a mutant fortification on the world of Tranch. It is an Imperial bunker complex they have captured, and as long as they stay in that bunker, the Imperial operations on Tranch are at a standstill.

And while we are at it, you will sneak around and grab the important bits, am I right?

We will be hunting a rogue Inquisitor at the Hazeroth Abyss. The situation on Tranch is of minimal importance to my master, but solving the most pressing problem there would certainly impress the Monodominants, which in turn, would make them more accepting of the opinion of your Inquisitorial masters.

So this will benefit mostly Lady Verasii and Lord Jackson you say.
I wonder... where is your master's profit in this circus?

Hey I'm not a criminal too.....I'm apparently just a 'nutjob'. Never been so offended in all my life when they told me that.

Sure, help yourself.
>hands her a block of cheese, a spare combat knife and a bottle of Amasec.
It's good stuff. You'll like it.

>Comes out of his room, wearing only a set of pants, shoes and his gasmask (with the filter). No shirt, no helm, no radio box; which is rather odd as he never leaves his equipment.
>His chest is filled with some recently made cuts, they're not too deep nor anything major.
>He's got a bloodied knife on his hand.
>Goes for medical, gets some alcohol and bandages and goes back to his room.
>Closes the door behind him.

Our profit will be your master's vote in a meeting of the Calixian Conclave, and the potential impact on other voters it may have. There is also a secondary mission of turning an Ork-infested space hulk away from its current course towards the Quarantined world of Mara. The Imperial Navy will blow it to pieces unless you intervene, and my master is worried of what the debris could hit... Or what might survive to the surface.

That´s why asked you. Thanks.
>Takes the knife and chops the block in a few smaller pieces and takes a sip from the Amasec.
Where do you get that food anyway? Some sort of humanitarian hiveworld?

This looks more urgent. I'll contact inquisitor Verasii and inquisitor Jackson.
Mind you. I don't trust you, nor your master. As it should be.
Round up all the soldiers, Oddball! We have a destination! I want everyone on the Penance in one hour!

>He'd give a simple shrug to this
Don't know what to tell you. Maybe try requesting some leave next chance you get?
>Noticing the cheese he hands her, he'd put on a mock look of anger and offense
Oh so the lady gets some cheese and I don't? I see how it is. You're just jealous that I and my squad got shore leave while you didn't.
>He'd wag his finger in mock anger at the tank commander while he continues
I'll remember this the next time your tank is stuck in the mud and you're getting shot at by orks

May I add... The vote may be of interest to you yourself, as it is about the feral world of Dusk... It seems you knew someone from there, although the specifics are unclear in the reports.

Agri-World called 'Francia', they showered us in Amasec and Cheese for freeing them from these Renegade assholes. Pretty good deal all things considered.
>continues eating cheese.

Aye ma'am! Alright cunts! Get yourselves ready for Transit! We've got us some mutants to trash!
Don't make us use the Railgun!

This it not of your concern, adept.

Hey hey hey, you never asked.
But you can have as much as you want pal.
>reaches into the tank and fetches a few extra cheese blocks and a couple bottles of wine.
We've got enough cheese to build a tank from it.

>Coming out of his room, fully dressed this time, he pokes his head over the Airlock doorframe.

Leaving so soon? I thought we had to kill a Xeno governor or something like that before leaving this mission for finished?

>Alice steps out of the Valkyrie and waits as Inquisitor Crawn steps past with his guards.
My apologies for ditching you so soon after landing Adept Novus, but I'm afraid that business must be done. Just ask the guards if you need directions to anywhere.

Oh and LIX.....if you're there? take off that synthsuit and put on a uniform. Yes you have to take it off, and yes you have to put a -real- uniform on.

Very well. I will keep an Astropath close, so you may contact me at any time.

>Catching the bottle and bits of cheese, malak would store then aqua in his pack before giveing the crazy tank commander a mock salute.
Alright, guess we've got mutie duties to catch up on. I'll see two back on the Penance, and hopefully on the other side

>Is also eating cheese.
Allrigth. Going to start packing then.
>Walks off, helping to prepare for transit with an bottle Amasec in hand. Her drone lies resting on your tanks hull.

>Oddly... LIX is not in the Valkyrie Alice came in with...

>appears behind her, munching on some cheese as well
packing for what? I was asleep sorry,

Oh, and if Alice is there, tell her... we have a saying on my planet. It goes "You are free to get killed the way you see fit", I wonder if she manages to understand it.
Ok, i am out for now.

We are leaving in an hour. Our next assignment. Oddball has more info on it.
>Drinks a bit Amasec, before helping a few troopers uploading crates.

Yes, I will. Additionally...
>repeats the message

>nods and munches on the food,
I'll help out then.

>Also helps with the crates
What's in this cargo anyways? They're not heavy enough to be weapons and I don't remember unloading anything more than a few tents and radio boxes.

*sitting out in a common area, cleaning his Sororitas flamer*

What's our objective today?

I would say to tell her "If one sits in a burning building, one should not be surprised when they get burned"......but I've got more important matters to attend to. Excuse me.
>Alice heads into the house, into an office and closes the doors. Behind which, faint speech can be heard.

>a second valkyrie comes in for a landing beside the first
>out steps Sternbridge, wearing a fur cloak over his blue dress uniform
>the devil bird perches on his shoulder

>shrugs as he loads more boxes up
no idea, perhaps it's heretical?

>Still loading crates
I don't know, killing some orks in some space hulk? Assaulting some fortress full of abominable horrors? The usual if you ask me.

>Stops loading boxes and stands still looking at you.
You're kidding right?

>Miranda hastily drags the large sack, passing near them

From what I know, they had a few extra rations over here.
>Looks at the cargo.
But that doesn´t look like it´s from the penance. Maybe it´s from the ruins we created while fighting.

>yawns
Sounds about right...

The hell is in that?

or perhaps it's that if you want to be boring.

Sounds like a Typical Wednesday evening for any guard regiment, followed by another early thursday morning meat grinder to get to work.

NOTHING!

Well I don't want any risks, you two check it out...
>Turns around.
Hey, you there!

No sorry, I have to go. Later.

>sigh
Tell us before I slice it open. You know I don't get upset about things, I just wanna make sure it ain't Chaotic

>Finishing up with batch of crates, he's turns to the others before shouting out
Come on ladies! Last one to finish loading this thing has to wash Gary's socks and briefs for the next week
[Spoiler] fucking forgot my name XD[/spoiler]

Ok then.
>Eisen realizing is the death-worlder again, just decides it's not worth it, it probably is more junks of meat of her foes.

>Nods and breaks one the boxes open. Inside are numerous toasters and blenders.
Doesn´t look heretical to me. More like, it´s... I don´t know.

>Preceeds to finish loading crates posthaste.

You know I don't usually wear skivvies right? Wait, nevermind, how could you have known... but yeah, my socks are piling up...

>looks at him for a second
who are you?
>shrugs before loading the last crate.
>as he does so he drops it and it crashes to floor, it's contents spilling out.
shit.

toasters... why the hell are we shipping toasters?
>pauses
you know what, I don't even care anymore load them up.

I've been on shore leave for the last few weeks, and just got back into the grinder yesterday. I got brought in from the 277th Orvustillian Infantry after they were wiped out, back before the Penance warp drive was damaged by that squad of Emperors Children

Also, I guess you or Sam over there are going to be washing Gary's socks for a week. And trust me when I say this. You can smell then from two decks away.

>offers him a handshake
Larrs, medic.

... Any Idea on who could... or would, rather, order toasters?

Don't tell me it's true that the Mechanicus does indeed whack off to these things...

I don´t know ei- Do you know any mechanicus members around here? I heard they like those.
>Puts the toasters back into the crates and walks away.

No offense, Sir. But Gary will have to walk barefooted then. If the socks are so bad, they´re getting the pulserifle treatment.

Then I guess I'll have to make new ones out of your intestines...

>He'd accept the handshake, a cheery smile on the young NCOs face
Malak, your new NCO.
Now then... Finish up if you don't want to be buried in Catachan socks and other toxic hazardous materials for the next week

No idea, but it wouldn't surprise me if the ones on the ship use them.
Then I guess you'll be cleaning everyone socks and skivves on decks 7 through 18 for the next month instead. And that includes whatever it is the tech priests wear.

>nods, finishing up the packagging of the toasters and blenders.
this is going to make one of those metal dudes seriously happy

It´s a pair of socks and they mean that much to you?
>Shakes her head and looks at you.
Fine, but I´m not touching them without an gasmask.

>Shrugs and simply nods.