WELL WELL WELL. SEEMS YOU'RE IN A BIT OF A BIND THERE, user...

WELL WELL WELL. SEEMS YOU'RE IN A BIT OF A BIND THERE, user. I COULD HELP YOU WITH THAT YOU KNOW! ALL I'D NEED IS A LITTLE SOMETHING IN RETURN...

WHAT DO YOU SAY, DO WE HAVE A DEAL?

MAYBE YOU NEED HELP NOT READING THIS IN MY VOICE?

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=KBVdkg4LM6I
twitter.com/NSFWRedditImage

No, I've never actually watched Gravity Falls so I don't know what your voice sounds like. I know that you're a huge supernatural asshole, though, so no deal.

Can I get a head that screams all the time?

wait, what assurance do i have that you won't take over my mind?

I want the phenominal cosmic power, but i'd rather retain control of my mind and body and soul

/co/ is the other way, Bill.

WHO TOLD YOU THAT? I'M THE NICEST GUY YOU'LL EVER MEET! DID YOU HEAR THAT FROM SOME KIDS? YOU SHOULDN'T TRUST KIDS, FRIEND.

SURE THING FRIEND! YOU DON'T MIND IF IT SCREAMS ALL YOUR FLAWS FOREVER, DO YOU?

I GIVE YOU MY ASSURANCE THAT I ABSOLUTELY WILL NOT TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR MIND. WE CAN HASH OUT THE OTHER TWO LATER!

OH I'M SURE WE CAN COME TO AN AGREEMENT. WHAT IF I ASKED HOW YOU'VE USED TRICKSTER GODS AND DEMONS IN YOUR INSIGNIFICANT GAMES FOR CHILDREN?

Has anyone found your petrified corpse lying out in the woods of Oregon yet?

I saw what happened the last time someone made a deal with you to get what I want.

HA HA , GOOD ONE BUDDY! NICE JOB REMINDING THE COSMIC BEING OF ENERGY OF HIS ONE SIGNIFICANT FAILURE! I'M SURE THAT WON'T RESULT IN YOUR LIFE SPIRALING OUT OF CONTROL IN A HILARIOUS YET HORRIFYING MANNER! BUT THE ANSWER IS PROBABLY.

YOU HAD SOMEONE DEAL WITH ME ON YOUR BEHALF? HOW DID THAT TURN OUT? I BET IT WENT FANTASTICALLY~!

I'll take that as a "no," then.

No, someone wanted the same thing I want, and they got screwed over.

Jokes on you, man. I already made a deal with two different beings of nigh-limitless cosmic power(and diametrically opposed domains) for a sandwich and an ever-replenishing pack of smokes.
I'm set.
Also, never watched GF, so your voice is unknown to me.

oh great now i can see the fnords

Who's this chump and why should I care?

And why is he talking in all caps? There's only one character allowed to do that.

What I really need is some help with banishing or annihilating, like, eldritch horrors or cosmic gods or, y'know, malevolent supernatural entities and their influence in general, whatever works.

This has nothing to do with Veeky Forums

And I've never watched your children's show, so I've no idea what that fuckboy sounds like.

Bill Cypher, main antagonist in Gravity Falls

He basically sounds like an evil claptrap.

Hey, aren't you related to that crazy white fella that occasionally comes here? You two look awfully alike.

Go away, Illuminati Ass. At least with Kyubey you more or less know what you're getting.

THAT SOUNDS LIKE AN AMAZING IDEA. I'M GONNA ENJOY HEARING ABOUT THE RESULTS, I CAN FEEL IT IN MY EVERYTHING!

WELL SURE THING FRIEND, BY THE END OF THE NIGHT YOU WILL HAVE NO SUPERNATURAL OR COSMIC BEINGS INFLUENCING YOU!

I HAVE NO IDEA WHO YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!

THAT CHUMP? WHAT ARE YOU A LITTLE GIRL? WANNA SHOOT GLITTER OUT OF YOUR POM POMS? I DON'T KNOW IF YOU DESERVE MY DEALS, FRIEND!

It's weird. Like, I know I should be asking for something but it would end up fucking me over in the end. If I don't ask for something you'll either annoy me or remove me from existence, which is counterintuitive when the whole purpose of interacting with me is entertainment. Hmmm. All body-enchanting things are off the table since those would all go horribly wrong immediately. Any superpowers are out because those would end in body modifications to do EXACTLY what that superpower does at the cost of my health and happiness. Personal gain is out because it'll end up having come from somewhere I rather it not have. Charity is out the window because of the above reason. Giving the next person a "fuckery free" wish would bite me in the ass because he can just choose a goth teenager in the middle of a emotional breakdown to make the wish. I can't ask for protection because it would somehow kill me. I can't ask for petty things since I'll feel like I wasted the opportunity. The cost of this wish is probably so great that I'll be forever destroyed on a personal level to enjoy anything I would gain from the wish. You probably know what I would have said for my other opinions on this topic because you're, like, omniscient. So I'll do best thing possible.

I decline the opportunity for the wish.

>making deals with otherworldly creatures.
I am no heretic.

If you specify exactly what you want in return.

At the moment I could really do with about 10lbs of enriched Uranium

A deal you say. I could help you out. If. You. Wish...

I want to play a play by post of any roleplaying game.

Is there a way to divert the shitty part of the deal to someone we ha- I mean deeply love and care for?

How much would it cost me for you to impart 5% of your power onto me?

Can I be a Warlock with you as my Patron?

Oh, I see OP. I think you meant to say

Doth thou desire the power?

GoO pact.

What kind of music do you like?

Care to give me a handjob wit that fire bud?

NOT TODAY, DEMON! HAYYAA!

What trouble am I in exactly? I'm guessing this guy stops time when he shows up so my reaction is probably dependent on what's happening.

Sounds like an interesting proposal, why don't we make it an official contract?
I happen to have one already set up in advance for such an occasion.

Kyuubei > Bill

I have no idea what you sound like, having never watched your show.

Superior evil magical wishman

youtube.com/watch?v=KBVdkg4LM6I

> Immediately start reading it in Bill's voice.
> The spoilers just make it sound like his deep, demonic voice.

WHAT FUCKING SORCERY IS THIS

Give everyone hypomania and we have a deal.

Maybe I never seen dat show, meathead. Poihaps I don't watch children's cartoons.

>Shitposting
>Off topic
>Avatar fagging
How many rules does this thread have to break before it gets deleted?

confirmed