Jumpchain CYOA Thread #856: Time to Space Out Edition

To be honest, this doesn't really look like a jump. It looks like a big customization table that would fit in a bigger jump about dungeons. The entire jump, including even the origins, is about nothing but how your dungeon works. There's really nothing there about you as the overlord of this dungeon, except for how to build it.

Maybe try expanding the jump, change the origins to fit various dungeon keeper/builder/boss archetypes with perks based on those (It is a generic jump afterall, you can draw from the entire genre) and move the existing origins to options you can pick for free/the same price in a separate section with the rest of the dungeon stuff? Maybe give people a whole separate set of CP for making their dungeons while still getting CP for the basic jump stuff at the start?

It just seems like this is less of a jump and more of a supplement to me.

how much do the basic themes cost? you have prices for a couple of them, but not all

Eat potatos.
Have fun food fights with anyone who wants to play.

Ah, i removed a "additional cost 50cp" thing in the themes and forgot to put prices on all...
They should be 50cp each of the unpriced ones.

I'm getting the same feeling. There are some useful skills in it, though. Maybe use those as the basis for your perks, then put the dungeon customization later?

cool! and in the Puzzles and Traps section, the first R after Puzzles and Traps is bolded

I don't know... the entire genre kind of revolves around the dungeons.

What kind of other perks would you even put in based on keeper/builder/boss archetypes? (is there even that much a difference?)

Got a question for y'all, is there a reasonably obscure setting that you think would make a good jump? Something that most people would not remember, or even think of.

>Not drowning your in time paradoxes while you remain inmune to all time shenanigans

>GURPS IOU
Wasn't someone working on that?

This. Building and managing the dungeon is the entire point of the Dungeon Building jump. If I added stuff for being the boss yourself, it would basically be a Generic Dungeon Jump or something.
I´m not saying i wont add more stuff to it regarding that, but please keep in mind the main focus, and what will be finished first, is the "Build and manage your Dungeon" part of it. If i add a "boss suplement" or update, which i probably will when i´m less buried under exams, i´ll add perks regarding being a boss.

jet force gemini

Could add in hero, townsmember and minion origins too. They're just as big a part of the genre and it's not like customization sections always need to make sense for who gets them. Just look at Resident Evil, why on earth would a 'Law Official' have a suped up virus on hand like you can get there?

Fuck with perspective.

youtu.be/jdmqBmiEZd4

Management, trapmaking, puzzlemaking, architecture, logistics, thematic a, design theory... All kinds of cool shit that the current one just offers as customization options.

The thing is it's not really a jump as is. It's just a building planner. You can expand it to include more then just he building planner stuff, losing nothing in the process and making it a bigger, fuller jump. The genre does revolve around dungeons but not everyone in a dungeon builder is a dungeon builder. Plenty of jumps have origins based on side character types or the villains or even weirder stuff.

Maybe not impossible to justify giving a dungeon to them actually. A hero could be defending a castle or great treasure or important relic from the forces of evil and a merchant or whatever could be running it for profit, especially if they have that nonlethal death option. "Step right up, see how far you can get in without dying and win some loot!"

But
But
You can...
You can already do that user. It does NEVER, at any point, say you are a bad guy. You can EXPLICITLY use the Dungeon towns for profit. You can sell adventurers loot from the dungeon in them. You can set up a relaxing spa in it. You can guard people´s stuff in the banks. You can keep the king´s artifacts in the dungeon. You can use it as a training dungeon for aspiring heroes by using "non-lethal" with the Consequence tablet.

There is literally notting stopping you from being a good guy. If you want to raid dungeons, there is a Generic Dungeon Crawler jump. Or hell, dont pick a heart (it´s not even mandatory), pick the 600cp "Dungeon Wars" drawback and raid Debbie´s dungeon.

TorikoAnon and I were joking around with the idea of a Dungeon Themepark-esque Restaurant. "You kill it, we'll cook it!" with the tastier, more exotic, but also more dangerous creatures near the heart.

this.

For example: I had been planning on using the rules tablet to set it up so that in order to enter the dungeon, you had to make a wager, and you wouldn't be able to take anything out of the dungeon worth more than the wager. If you died, then you just get booted out without anything you found.

[SALIVA DRIPPING]

and minus the wager. now that I think about it, I would probably have to make it so that you can't take anything worth more than 3x the value or something, but ah well

What are some particularly good precognition perks?

You're missing the point. It's not a complaint that you can't do that stuff in this jump, it's a complaint that this jump, as is, is nothing more then a build your own dungeon. You might say that's the whole point of the games but jumps like Tropico, Civilisation, Dwarf Fortress and so on all manage to go beyond the point of their games and are all great jumps for it.

If all this jump is going to be is a glorified shot at getting a dungeon, with nothing to it beyond what makes up the dungeon, then shouldn't it be a supplement? I'd say the same thing if Tropico or Civ were just a list of what makes up your nation or if Dwarf Fortress just gave you some options on what your fortress and people were like.

I'm neutral on this issue, and I'm not actually sure whether this point favors you or him but-I'd just like to say the premise of this is surprisingly reminiscent to me of Rollercoaster Tycoon jump, from way back.

Beat me to it

Explore!

There's so much to see and experience. In every sector you've got the chance of being the first sapient being who has seen those particular sights. I think that's pretty neat.

clairvoyance from raildex and the drop in path from Percy Jackson both seem good, though I don't know much about PJ

Why does everyone always talk about potatoes? What's the joke?

I don't mind much which way he goes from here. If he decides to expand it, great, I think that's a huge improvement. If not, and there is precedent, oh well. I don't think the other jumps in this format are good, I think they're some of the blandest things we have on the drive, but they are there and if he wants it that's that.

Euphenism for multiplayer (which is otherwise more despised as a concept than any single user or namefriend here) and an old jape by Epicureanon for a supplement related to it which turned out to be a potato casserole recipe

The Irish.

I like to create. I've spent my build getting ready to build on the scale of planets and stars, and eventually I want to be able to make whole systems.

That'll probably have to wait for post spark, but I like having a long term goal I'm working for.

That's pretty much how I feel about it, yeah. Generics are a /hard/ sell with me personally and there's nothing here that really grabs me, but at the same time there's nothing broken or otherwise fannyflustering so I've just been peacing out when it's brought up.

Potatoes are just awkward shaped ugly things, that often stand in for the word retard in many meme dialects.
In this particular instance, however, the joke is that asteroids often bear a semblance to potatoes. Many Jumpers would be perfectly capable of consuming asteroids, and a food fight may refer to the act of throwing these asteroids.

>Epicureanon
The dragonlance guy? I thought he was new.

Nah, he made stuff like Dragon's Crown and Dragon Age Inquisition. Makes some amazing looking jumps visually, that's for sure.

Well, that puts some other conversations in perspective.
I gotta get with these shiny new /jc/ memes.

Nah, he goes way back-he did Dragon's Crown, Lone Wolf, Battlestar Galactica and Dragon Age: Inquisition too.

Good stuff. He'd be one of my favorites if he showed up more, though i can't fault him since those visuals clearly take time to do

I think the problem is that you're not really getting how to build a Jump. Jumps generally follow the format of "here's your life for ten years, now I'm going to teach you how to actually do the cool shit you want to do." This is "here's a bunch of cool shit, enjoy your life." If the jump is about building dungeons, make it about building dungeons. Don't just start us with a premade dungeon that makes itself bigger while we watch.

I gotta admit, zero-g lewdness is not as much fun as people might think. Still, space is a pretty cool place to explore. Asteroid mining is pretty profitable too.

My Brethren.

Are you kidding? That's my entire bailiwick. Everlasting Summer has some real potential as a Gauntlet, but not enough content to justify it without some stretching. Ori and the Blind Forest isn't /that/ obscure, but most people don't seem to know about the artistic masterpiece. That certainly has enough to justify a Jump.

Also, looking through the drives, we have neither a Fifth Element or Just Cause series Jump. At the risk of driving myself off the Rule 1 cliff, this seems to be a shame.

It seems to me you missed the post where he said that he was getting the Dungeon Building part done first, as it's the focus of the jump, and would add Boss stuff and others when he had that done.
I feel like you are asking a lot out of his first jump. It's a Generic jump about dungeon building, and he's focusing first on the Dungeon Building part. He changed the jump from buying themes to the buying giving you the skill to make them yourself, same with traps. You could always fanwank traps, since the ones in the jump also give you trapmaking knowledge. He also added perks people wanted him to, such as the one for better minion managing.

I feel concerned that he might just leave the jump unfinished and fuck off at this rate, to be honest, since he has probably been in /jc/ less than a month and this is not the best first impresion of a community.

>zero-g lewdness is not as much fun as people might think.

Isn't it pretty much impossible due to how zero-g affects blood flow, making it difficult to get the soldier to stand at attention, as it were?

Zero-G lesbians would at least be better off.

Its looking great so far, cant wait to see the finished product. Will your add ons for minion and dungeon bosses be a seperate module of the same jump? Like how LoT is handled?

I for one welcome our new Dungeon overlord. Is it just about done or still WIP?

The problem is that it still feels like buying a dungeon instead of making a dungeon. Look at the themes, for example. They just make your dungeon grow a certain way. Why not make them teach you how to design that theme into things you make?

The big thing is you need some type of blurb at the beginning.

You know how most jumps have general basic info at the start about what is happening, what you could maybe do, things to watch out for.

It looks good but without that it looks less like a jump.

Still not bad for a first jump really.

Wait, minion and boss addons? Wot?

Shit I've been missing out on discussion.

He said he would add a few perks based on Boss stuff. That's not what I asked.

I don't think it being his first jump or not should have any relevance here. I am not asking for him to make Light of Terra or Worm or some other great jump. I'm asking for him to do some pretty basic stuff, stuff that's in almost all jumps and I have provided several examples of jumps in the same vein that have accomplished this. Examples that are not necessarily our best jumps either.

Neither do I agree with the sentiment that we should censure criticism out of fear of people leaving. I've been pretty polite and reasonable so far and even said that I'm fine with whatever decision he makes in the end, but I will say what I think and give my reasons for it.

See

>Worm
Fun fact, that was the guys first jump. Just goes to show 'it's only his first jump' is a bullshit excuse.

So wait, I'm confused. Does taking Metroidvania cause your dungeon to become something like Castlevania? If so, that's kind of neat.

not that I'm aware of, although there is a sequence of drawbacks in the hidden jump that puts you in IOU still room for a full jump though.

Not him but what exactly do you thjnk it needs. I agree that it needs the welcome message that all jumps have, but builder jumps dont always have backgrounds.

Hell the tycoon jumps dont have them, do they?

Worm's a unique case. You can't expect everyone to be god tier at jump making at first. Just cause one person is a prodigy doesn't mean everyone is.

>hidden jump
What hidden jump?

Well, I for one, really like the direction you're headed with this. It could use some "Backgrounds" (Evil Overlord, Hero Trainer, that kind of thing). Like pointed out, you do need some beginning fluff.

It is, technically, missing a lot of the "traditional" things that people look for in a Jump, but I think it fits the Generic Dungeon Builder Genre well. The references are funny, but a bit all over the place. Avatar and Metroidvania puns are a little jarring when I'm expecting Dungeon Keeper, Evil Genius, and Dungeons references instead. Love the Goblin King Companion though.

Seriously though, it's on the right track. I did far, far worse on my first try at Jumpmaking.

Please read my earlier posts if your going to join the discussion. I've already acknowledged that other jumps like this exist, I've also said they're incredibly bland. I've also already given suggestions for fixing this earlier, which mostly amounted to actually making a proper jump and then having the current jump serve as a separate section with it's own CP.

sorry, missed a word. The hidden world jump.

This basically. 3-4 backgrounds, with 3 or maybe 4 if you're feeling up to it perks (No shame in going low on your first jump) each, a handful of items (Don't need discounts if you absolutely can't think of them, common for first jumps too) and you now have a jump that's much more then just a buy your own dungeon with not all that much extra effort. People are generally good for giving ideas around here too.

Portal (REDUX)
> Origin: JuDOS
> "....." [-100CP]
> That's Not Just Flattery [-300AP]
> We've Both Done A Lot Of Things [Get a Freebie!]
> This Next Test Is Impossible [-150AP]
> Not Aperture Science! (x2) [-200AP]
> + Quantum Tunneling
> + Multiverse Search Algorithms
> + Event Horizon Containment
> + Determination Determination
> + Glitching
> + Candy Science
> Storage Cube Inventory [-50CP]
> Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device (x3) [Get a Freebie!]
> + Flawed Portal Device (x???) [Get a Freebie?]
> Conversion Gel Recipe [-100CP]
> Personality Cores [-50CP]
> + DETERMINATION.
> + SCIENCE!
> + PUNS
> Genetic Lifeform & Disk Operating System [-400CP]
> Aperture Science Data Collection ... Chamber [-150AP]
> The Perpetual Testing Initiative [Get a Freebie!]
> Arson Is Always The Answer [+100CP]
> I Can Talk About The Control Group All Damn Day [+100CP]
> Where's My Olympus? [+300AP]

I did a somewhat major overhaul of my build here due to... ... reasons. I don't think anyone even paid attention to the original, which was more of an ADHD grab bag on my end, so whatevs. I feel that this build is more... "optimized"... for my playstyle.

Short version: Me and GLaDOS are ~FRIENDS~. I am super happy to do science, and she begrudgingly tolerates this.
I absolutely cannot shut up about science.
Also, Cave Johnson is somewhere. I'll probably copy his brain for shits and giggles.

Other than that, I help my companions escape, but don't leave myself.
There's too much science to do!

If you're not sure what kind of perks to add, I'd suggest reading through this series: bankuei.wordpress.com/2014/07/16/dungeons-theory-and-design/. It gave me a lot of ideas for how to build dungeons better, and a lot of those ideas could be turned into perks.

"Generic" Dungeon Builder
> Location: The Southlands [Rolled3]
> Dungeon Heart: Prototype Heart [-100CP]
> Dungeon Theme(s):
> + Industrial [Get a Freebie!]
> Advanced Theme(s):
> + Newton's Nightmare [Get a Freebie!]
> + The Floor is Lava! [-150CP]
> + Flooding [-150CP]
> Monsters:
> + Companion Boss: Koulema [-100CP]
> + Floormasters DX [-100CP]
> AESTHETIC [-50CP]
> Tech Integration [-100CP]
> Magic Integration [-100CP]
> House of Leaves [-500CP]
> PUZZZZLLEESSSS:
> + Switch Puzzles [-50CP]
> + Jumper Party [-100CP]
> + Goddam Water Dungeons [-100CP]
> + Mirror Mirror [-100CP]
> + Teleporting Maze [-100CP]
> + Spinning Maze [-100CP]
> Tablet of LAW [-400CP]
> Glitchy [+100CP]
> Unpopular [+200CP]
> Metacritic [+200CP]
> Adventurer's Guild [+200CP]
> Plucky Adventurers [+200CP]
> Public Enemy No1 [+200CP]
> Mating Octopi [+200CP]

~
> "Wow, you must be making absolute shit for returns at this point."
I DON'T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND MY GOALS HERE.
I'm not here for the attainment of power.
Besides, I don't need monsters. Not when I have PUZZLES.

Although, studying the Prototype Heart seems like a valid use of my time.
Now if only I could remember how to get to it...?
I might need to subcontract some adventurers.

I may attempt to set GLaDOS up in here at some point. She probably counts as Tech Integration, right?

> "HEY SO THIS PUZZLE IS REALLY GREAT BECAUSE IT INVOLVES CHANGING WATER LEVELS IN A VARIABLE GRAVITY ENVIRONMENT"
> "OH MY GOD SHUT UP"

Thanks for the suggestions! I'm not at home right no, but i'll look into adding these when i get home.
Currently, no theme gives you free shit, but rather the knowledge on how to make your dungeons like that. Maybe the wording is unclear?

I'll give it a quick shot, off the top of my head.

Evil Overlord- minion recruitment, getting stronger with eviler methods or having evil things be more successful, maybe being able to sacrifice minions for stuff (Pretty sure that was in some dungeon keeper game right?)

Hero- Getting stronger in the face of lots of opponents, powered from good things or having those things be more effective, getting along well with others or being able to peacefully negotiate/convert enemies (Also think that was in a game, might have been a torture them over version though).

Ya don't need super great perks that solve jumpchain issues, it's easy enough to just think of some general things that fit the archetype and put em in.

His dad works at Nintendo, and he said this printer paper yugio card is totally legit.

Just razz'n ya.
It'd be funny though.
>Yeah, I got this infinite respawn perk from that hidden jump. Plebs don't know about it, so if you don't believe me you must be a pleb.

Relatively low impact lewdness, such as cunninglingus, would run into less trouble with Newton's Third Law as well.
I really want to go to space...

I'd give Overlord some perks so that people under him fear him enough to not think about betraying (sort of a intimidation perk?)
Hero is harder, but something to attract natural monsters to move into tour dungeon so they dont terrorize nearby villages might be good? Having people look up to and want to help him too.

I don't know how obscure it is, but I kind of want a Twisted Metal jump.

Mind Over Matter, never stops being a useful perk.

Sounds great!

What jumps have items or perks that have similar effects to the Trees of Silver and Gold in Narnia? I'm wanting to make a farm of Devil fruits and other unique plants. Also I used Narnia as an example as I think it's the best way to explain the type of thing i'm after.

Sword Plant, perk in King Arthur.

Maybe a perk for being really good at training people through your dungeons? As in, you know exactly what kinds of challenges to set up to train certain skillsets?

While you're here, there's one thing I don't understand. Do you need to buy perks to make dungeons work a certain way? For example, if I don't buy the Metroidvania perk, my dungeon literally can't grow in an interconnected way? Or if I don't buy the dungeon towns then I can't set up town like areas in my dungeon?

Plant Satan, be gone!
Or stay. You're pretty cool.

It's not impossible, but you are correct about blood flow issues.

So very true. I had excellent results using some light bondage and blindfolds, then suspending the "subject" in Zero-G with several toys in intimate places. Total lack of exterior sensations produces excellent results.

You get a sincere slow golf clap of approval.

Just one bite and all you're dreams will come true, just don't go swimming.

Thanks

Bonus points if you have a serpentine alt-form.

it's a little disappointing that my favorite super robot film Mazinkaiser SKL doesn't have a jump yet also grurps IOU would be a really sweet jump

so any loot generation perks? With what you've got so far you're still going to need to fill the dungeon yourself

Would draconic count?

Which jump is that from again?

Definidately.

Aren't there perks to handle the blood flow issues? I mean, you can replace your blood with all kinds of weird stuff, so that might help.

Now I wonder what replacing your blood with magic honey would do to an erection. Thanks, /jc/.

Cho Aniki.

Without Metroidvania, you'd need to build it like that by hand. The perk naturally males it grow like that, and males adventurers more interested

But what if I want female adventurers?

Dat double typo...

Best defense would be to give out free crappy devil fruits at the start and make it a water dungeon. All they have to do is swim over this tiny pool and they get to the end.

>that moment when the keyboard shifts one key to the left.