Honey, I need more cooking oil. Could you head down into the basement and get it?

Honey, I need more cooking oil. Could you head down into the basement and get it?

Oh, and remember the bulb is out so be careful on the stairs.

Since when have we had a basement?

As you realize you dont have basement reality collapses around you, all you see is endless grey space.

We've always had a basement, honey. Go get the oil, I need to start frying the chicken.

I ain't going in that fucking basement. Nothing good ever happens in basements.

I chuck a grenade down there just in case.

>living in some kind of archive

"Okay", I say, as I go into the basement only to have someone throw a 'nade at me.

Luckily I am a level 40 favored soul/bard/rdd and have obscene AC and hit points.

CHIM
~
player.additem 00053451 1

Got your oil

Wait hey why am I in a grey space. Where's my wife?
At least I still have the oil

It’d be on that shelf, where we keep the thingys, right?

DID SOMEONE SAY CHIM

What a co-incidence, I was just about to go into the basement to get my wife.

Fuck you, I live in a basement

My point stands.

Yeah, no, I'm not going there. You shouldn't either.
And I'm not going to do that even for fried chicken. Make it deep fried, and maybe I could consider it.

>OK, What’s under the basement?
The earth’s crust.
>And what's underneath that?
Mmm...the mantle?
>Yup. And under that? Come on. You know this one.
The outer core.
>And under that?
The inner core.
>And under that?
Underneath that... nothing.
…
>Just the soft, chewy center!

>nothing
Look at him - he believes in flat earth!

Cunt

CHIMmer down, Vivec.

>"Got it, got it..."

Did someone throw a grenade down here?! Look what it's done to the wine cellar!

Oh, you want the oil? Let me bring it to you.

Bullshit, there is only old bikes and dust in the basement.

Also who the fuck are you ?

Rolled 1, 5, 2 = 8 (3d6)

I scream like a spoiled bitch who just saw real rapist in the first time, dealing 3d6 damage to everyone in 60-degree cone in front of me.

We don't have a basement, we live in a flat..

! You're not my mother! What kind of demon are you?!

I don't let burned-out bulbs go unattended. My wife would know this. Who are you and what have you done with her and also I doubt you're as good of a cook.

Thanks, horrifying werewolf thing!

Ah, thanks mate. Y'know, it's been really nice having you help with rent, sorry you got the basement.

Are your legs ok?

This post really gained my brouzoufs

It's all good, least I can do. Things have been difficult since the stroke, but I'm trying.

The basement's fine, man. At least it's a roof, you know?

Discomforting photos thread?

How about a nasty from deep Australia?

nice

The weirdest part is that this is underwater. Why not have the sign up on the beach where everybody sees it as they go into the water?

It's a lot harder to ignore when you're down there
Besides, having one on the beach would probably encourage idiots

But i just wade through the sea of neckbeards down there last week.

>Walks into own basement
>gets oil
>walks back up
"Honey? Why the fuck do we keep cooking oil in the basement and not a cupboard?"

>Nothing in this cave worth dying for
Sounds suspicious. Better investigate!

You're not fooling me, monster.

Since it warns you about going into a cave, it's probably ok to dive outside of the cave, and the sign sits at the (underwater) entrance to it. If it sat at the shore, people submerging a bit to either side, or arriving by boat, may miss it.

The best melee weapon for this job would probably be a spear-like one to fend of anything coming up the stairs.

I go down to get the oil, pants removed, cock throbbing with intent.

We keep the oil in the pantry with the spices and condiments dear. You were the one who sat there and watched me build it, remember?
After that I proceed to ask mundane questions she should immediately know the answer to for the rest of the day. I'm on to your shit here skinwalker. /k/ warned me about you fuckers!

Yeah, nah. Jam the fish in the toaster.

tl;dr:come in, living ones, and witness the greatest master of all, Death, hold her school of truth.

>not living the dream