A bored wizard from the 5th Dimension visits our planet and turns all mythological beings real...

A bored wizard from the 5th Dimension visits our planet and turns all mythological beings real. Depending on your local folk lore, how fucked are you?

I'm Scandinavian. I'd probably wander into a nearby forest and try to make friends with some elves.

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Well I'm in the states, so unless you give us Native American myths I guess all we'd get is Bigfoot and Slendermen

I live in Northeastern USA, so as far as i know we have a shitload of ghost living in abandoned houses, bigfoot, demons, windigos, and some sort of demon that loves booze. As long as you carry around hard scotch and a cross you should be good.

>making friends
>with elves
Good luck with that, m8

I'm a Mississippi Man but I don't think there's any spooky scary mythological things in this state. I think there's stuff in neighboring states, but I doubt they'll take a trip here any time soon. OP, don't make friends with the Fair Folk.

Living in western Europe I will finally witness dragon ducks of apocalypse and goats with additional legs of uneven length

Also the saints

The over abundance of gnomes would make me insane.

My house just burned down because I forgot to give old porridge to the sauna gnome.
Fucking thanks.

>sauna gnome.
What?

A gnome, or, I guess "elf" would be a better term, which lives in your sauna, keeps it clean and working and helps humies occasionally.
If it's happy and content, that is, if it gets pissed, it burns your shit.

>Well I'm in the states, so unless you give us Native American myths I guess all we'd get is Bigfoot and Slendermen
You could pull quite a lot more out of old frontier lore: Paul Bunyan with his giant blue ox, Jersey Devil, Nain Rouge (red dwarf), Mothman.

Besides the burning that actually doesn't sound like a bad deal.

Yeah, it isn't. Old folklore, atleast in Finland, has a lot of spirits or elves which are helpful and friendly if you manage to not piss them off, and that's why people left some food for them.
All important buildings, the sauna, the building of residence, the storehouse and the cowshed had their own elves which helped to keep things in good order aslong as they weren't pissed.
If they got pissed, they burned your shit, summoned demons to fuck your shit, ate your children, ate your food and so on.

Was there an all purpose elf? Why have many elves to take care of your things when you can have one elf to do it?

As far as I know, every elf had it's own area of expertise, so to speak. It might be different in other areas of Finland and Karelia, though, as folklore does often have slight local alterations.
In addition, elves weren't really thought as to be pets or animals, but spirit-beings which have the power to either leave you be or fuck your shit up beyond repair. You didn't get an elf to do things for you, but the elf did things for you aslong as it was happy. It was thought to be a more or less symbiotic relationship between humans and the fey folk.

In addition to elfs, there were also other spiritual beings in Finnish folklore, like the hiisi, which are sometimes evil and malicious and other times neutral beings. A lot of strange looking natural stuff, like glacial erratics, were thought to be their doing-

I never meant like a pet, user. I assumed it was you make a deal with an elf and you keep it happy.

I live in London.

I'd obviously travel to Avalon and at once pledge loyaly to the true king of England.

Although I'm staunchly anti-monarchist, I'd follow Arthur to hell and back.

Alright, I understand your chain of reasoning, but it isn't like that. The elf just sort of comes to dwell in your buildings when you build them.
Sort of like in Heroes of Might and Magic, really.

Back when I was a kid, my grandmother may she rest in piece told me of some sort of cursed people living underground. They were born out of biblical Eva, somehow, but not of Adam, so they were bastards and thus banished underground, and that's why they're jealous of humans and steal cattle and kids and occasionally burn your shit. Can't remember what she called them, though.

I live in Oregon so Bigfoot, Paul Bunyan and his Ox, and a bunch of Native American shit I guess.

Bigfoot would most likely be like having apes in the woods so meh. Paul Bunyan's a cool guy, probably gonna make our pancake industry skyrocket and take jobs away from logging.
As for the native stuff, there's not much of it here.

>mfw captcha

Britfag here. So Giants, Fey of all types, the odd Dragon, various Ghosts and Spirits.

And right now I'm trying to remember what the fuck the Lampton Worm is, because it's near by and I haven't heard the story in years.

>implying bigfoot isn't real

Sounds like morlocks 2bh.

Probably have to break out the ol' shotgun and deal with some damned chupacabra.

British, so personally? Totally fucked, probably going to become some Fae's slave.

The country as a whole? Eternal thanks to King Arthur.

>Jersey devil comes to fuck people's shit up
>Pirate ghosts all over the fucking shore
>ancestor spirits probably pissed that all the Indians died to smallpox

Time to become a cleric. Good thing this state is full of Catholics.

This guy gets it.

>Somerset
As long as you stay away from Wookey Hole, you'll be fine. Hell, our local Black Dog, the Gurt Dog, is a pretty friendly beast. Watches over kids playing in the Quantocks.

Although we may have some problems with Gwyn ap Nudd leading the Wild Hunt out of Glastonbury Tor.

>Nobody realizing that this act would make the gods real too.

ISIS would kill us all. It would be like Patapon but with Mudslimes and that really cool "Ay ah yah ay atta atta ya oh so to no nananana" sound. You know. This one.

youtube.com/watch?v=lxo9iEX8W1c

Damn sight better than here. We have some hairy hands that'll crash your car, I guess.

Brazilian folklore is mostly indigenous beliefs we learn in school. I don't remember much, but i'ts mostly some forest demons that kill wanderers, so i guess i wouldn't be too fucked.
>Boitata is a giant fire snake that burns those who try to harm the jungle
>Corpo-seco is a corpse that was rejected by the earth for striking his mother and now kills people for reasons.
>Curupira is a demon that has his feet backwards so to confuse hunters. Indigenous people believed they had to make him offers not to anger him.
>Mula sem cabeça is a roastie that slept with a priest and turned into a mule with fire where it's head should be

And big cats.

Oregon.....its either bigfoot or wendigos. Im hoping bigfoot considering.

I'm in Australia and our Aboriginal legends are so fucking spooky that they made a Call of Cthulu supplement for it. I'm boned.

Scandinavian here other than the shit that will kill you our folklore is pretty funny , having to say lookout every time you go to the toilet so you don't accidently shit on a vittra that will be mightly pissed.

Also people up north will still move their house if they think it was built on a vittra trail so as not to anger them

Bigfoot is not, in fact, real. Please do not worry when camping in the pacific northwest and feel free to eat lots of fatty foods when doing so.

Ausfag here
Aboriginal stories are weird man... i havent heard many but 90% of them involve a mystical rainbow snake and the other 10% make little sense.
I dont know of any particularly spooky ones but i can see how some would fit in to coc

How do you think one tribe believed kangaroos got their tails?
Would 'two roos fighting with spears lodging each others spear in each others backside' have been what you thought?

Also bunyips
[Spoiler] and drop bears [/spoiler]

Essentially surviving Swedish folklore is to follow the mantra of lagom

Mind sharing with Mississippi Man? I love to learn about other countries and their culture.

Southeast Alaska here. Everything is either a shape changing kidnapper or a shape changing mentor that will teach you great power by kidnapping you and hitting you until you get strong enough to fight back.

North Carolinian here. About a dozen ghost pirates are gonna be ten minutes away from my house

Ireland.

So, fairies. Irritating underground faggots with no sense of right and wrong. Probably get another race of mythical warriors coming in to colonize the place since that is pretty much the entirety of Irish mythology. And if it isn't fairies, it's ghosts spooking you.

That's it, lads, fairies, ghosts and foreigners.

I'd move to Canada, I'd rather deal with a wendigo and sasquatch than having to deal with fucking fairies again.

As a dyed in the wool Mainer, I'm afraid you're going to have to fight us for custody of Paul Bronyan.

Scand elves were mellow as long as you were polite to them

As an Albertan, I'd really just have to live out the mythological belief held by the rest of Canada that Alberta is a giant tailings pond filled with shitty, inbred, subhumans. So it's really not that far to go.

It's called a wife

Not even Canada is free of awful monsters and spirits, once you start accounting for aboriginal lore beyond its most popular, well-known creatures.

>turns all mythological beings real

Fate/Grand Order: World War edition

Here comes the snow!

Well, I'm in Michigan, so there'll be packs of werewolves just roaming around every where, a bigfoot behind every other tree. Aliens would be regulars at bars and restaurants. Every hitchiker would actually be a ghost with a fifty fifty chance of being harmless or murdering your shit.

But the real danger? All those fucking mystical ax murders.

I'm in Ohio, so we'd get giant hairless bear/mammoth monsters, ghost wolves, enormous aquatic serpents with antlers, massive amphibious panthers, winged men who cause storms, an assortment of human ghosts, the melonheads.... and that's about the worst of it. Not all bad, considering. At least we don't have wendigos or mylings.

>mylings
How are those as bad as Wendigos?

Well, for one, George Washington would probably come back to life as a demigod, along with American anthropic personifications like Columbia, Justice, Lady Luck / Miss Fortune.

We'd also have to deal with the devil in his various guises, whether that be the sharp dressed city slicker, the old blind man in the swamp, or the cowled forest figure.

Then there's all that cryptozoology stuff, aliens and the like, not to mention Native folklore and mythology.

I also live in Texas, so we might get bleed over from whatever is left of Mexican/Aztec mythology.

Wouldn't that just bring the creator god into existence, and have him schizophrenically fighting himself as YHWH, God, Allah, and so on and so forth?

I wonder what the Greek gods would think of the modern age, or their Roman names.

Ask me that again when a gigantic undead baby is crushing you to death as you struggle to carry it to a graveyard.

>Founding Fathers all get reborn as enlightenment supermen who have achieved Apotheosis
Watch out, rest of the world, here comes America!
U S A
U S A
U S A

I doubt your founding fathers would start shit abroad when they have so much work to do at home.

Please, clearing up all the misunderstandings, and clearing up all the traitors and corrupt officials, would take but a week and a half.

On the other hand, reinstituting slavery would take a few more.

>implying most of the founding fathers were diehard pro-slavery
That division ran deep in America the second the first slave set foot in the colonies, not just when the civil war was gearing up.

Guys. Think about it. Where we'd go we wouldn't need a big stick.

>florida
>love bugs as genetic experiments let loose.
>swamp men.
>no really, swamp homnids.
>Pirates
>Southern John Henry

But then add in the Fountain of Youth, and I'm all game let's fucking do this!

How does that matter much compared to normal Florida?

let's see, talking animals, squirrel like creatures that drug people with lichen, some booze loving logging spirit that will kill new loggers who fail to offer tribute, cougar that has a flesh mace on its tail and lures people into the woods by talking like a person so it can bludgeon them with it and eat them.

A lot of haunted lighthouses, A lake monster or two, some possible viking mythology bleeding over, Paul Bunyan(other states can fuck off, he was born here), and a well that apparently drove someone insane when they were lowered into it.

Let's not forget the apparent demon that lives in the woods just across the border.

would that mean that us regular humans would be able to cast magic? Seeing how now magic exists.

Most of them owned slaves and didn't free those slaves upon their death, so yeah, I think it didn't bother them too much.

>all the presidents (and founding fathers) who have been dead / out of office long enough to have a sufficient mythology/persona developed around them are suddenly revitalized, taking on their popular American attributes
>Hamilton immediately starts arguing with Jefferson
>Jackson gets rightfully pissed about both him being on a federal reserve note, and being replaced by a black woman on a federal reserve note
>Nixon immediately stars spitting fire about all the shit modern politicians are getting away with, while he had to resign for just wiretapping
Lets fucking do this

Dude. Look into the myths of the Seminole. You're going to get fucked by shadow-men that drive you insane, giant spectral owls who eat hearts, and plague wolves.

...Wisconsin?

>mythology
>vampires
Wait so does Christopher Lee come back to life, forced to stop this nap, and or is forced to show his true colors as Dracula? What kind of vampiric powers would he get? Old school or modern?
We need this in real life. Then I can meet my favorite presidents.

Wait if the dead presidents come back that means JFK will be OP.

Uh, I get to look fit af while laughing at attractive morons in those headlines?

Florida is like living another dimension mate, you kinda just roll with it.

I mean, if we're talking mythical vampires and not Hollywood vampires, people in your neighborhood are just going to start mysteriously dying. What country do you live in?

How long does the rolling take?
Freedom Land. I think I'll be fine for a while.

Nope Maine

Yeah, vampires aren't a big thing in American myths and legends. There's plenty of local horrors to worry about before they start spreading outside of immigrant communities.

I personally got adjusted overnight, but I guess that's just because I was mentally out there to begin with.

The best way I can describe it is its like the fallout cloud of crazy from the Bermuda Triangle just covers Florida completely, and the only thing that combats it is city smog.

I'm surprised that Native Americans don't have vampires. Do they have vampires?
The smog sounds like its overworked.

They have skinwalkers. Infinitely more terrifying.

>I'm surprised that Native Americans don't have vampires. Do they have vampires?

Just witches I think. Pretty sure there is something that drinks blood in the South West. not the chupecabra or w/e but something that drinks people blood.

Skinwalkers are just shapeshifters who know when you talk about them, and talking about them empowers them right? I can't remember my skinwalker facts sadly, so please forgive my total ignorance.
Witches are close enough.

Only the Navajo have skinwalkers, and they're mostly just shapeshifting shamans who are dicks.

Other tribes have things that are as bad or worse than vampires, though. Wendigos. Stikini. The Hecesiiteihii. Bukwus. The Baykok. Raven Mockers. The Stonecoats. The Nalusa Falaya. The list goes on.

Skinwalkers can/will fuck you up in horrific ways just for shits and giggles. Like, really fuck you up.

They'll also disguise themselves and ask about the skinwalker legend so they can enjoy the fear. Just like you... Oh fuck.

>Stonecoats
That doesn't sound too bad.
So they're the Fair Folk but Native American flavored?

I'll be honest, I'm a little hazy, but from memory, what said is pretty accurate, except they're far more sinister than that portrayal.

>skinwalkers

How much sinister? Also did some googling and two of those things doesn't sound bad. Baykok is just the Grim Reaper, and Hecesiitehii are just canabal dorfs.

Damnit, /x/, stop making Skinwalkers out to be more than they are. They're just Sorcerers whoa assume animal shap to fuck you up, like oldschool werewolves.

Skinwalkers are decidedly human in origin. Native American have other Fair Folk equivalents. Point in fact, the Stonecoats would be some sort of Unseelie. They're a race of shapeshifters or illusionists who appear human, but whose true form is humanoid monster with fangs and overlapping stone plates for skin. They have a variety of abilities, with each individual usually exercising some ability to seek out humans and to control stone. They eat human livers and are very, very clever about how to get at their favorite food.

I was talking about skinwalkers. Asshole shapeshifting shamans with no morals and a gigantic dose of sadism is the best summary I can give. The creep factor comes from them being anyone or anything.

Nah, we got shit like the early American version of Rawhead and Bloody Bones. A giant bloody hog skeleton in overalls that walks like a man, carries a shotgun, and really hates hunters. Pro tip: never shoot and eat a witch's pet hog. They don't like it when you do that.

>live in nz
>nz becomes an island full of beasts and tree spirits
Fuck, I guess I sell my soul as soon as possible to get some sort of divine power and then stay the fuck away from rivers.

Cannibal dorfs who can fly, have super speed, and are superhumanly strong. According to the legends of the Great Plains tribes, they murdered their way through the native population until all the tribes united to drive them back to the Rocky Mountains, supposedly exterminating them.

It's a very ASoI&F setup, with the ancient horrible monsters driven back beyond an impassable landmark by an ancient alliance, and supposedly killed off. But deep in the mountain caverns, something stirs...

Stone giant fair folk does sound pretty horrific.
In other words they're Veeky Forums playing wizards using the "no sense of right and wrong meme".
So Bloody Bones is the skelly? I can't remember.

Shit yeah, American Rawhead is hardcore. He steals bits and pieces from other dead animals so now he's a patchwork monstrosity with the claws of a bear, among other weapons.

>Damnit, /x/

Also /k/ they're scared about skinwalkers cus /x/ convinced them they're all the spoopy shit they've seen out innawoods all rolled into one.

The creepy That Guys with the torture fetish part of Veeky Forums, but yeah, pretty much.

I'm probably over-blowing them since they're the only mythological thing that actually scares the crap out of of me.

Okay now I'm spooked. I hate to see their tantrum spirals.

I wouldn't worry about it.

British Bloody Bones is a nightmarish boogeyman who abducts and eats children. Pic related.

American Bloody Bones is an undead monster summoned from the corpse of a witch's prize pig after hunters killed it, and now her creations stalks the woods of the American south killing anyone it meets.

Now I'm just imaging Virt here.

I don't know which one is worse. Who's Rawhead?