Hey Veeky Forums, I picked up this amulet at a con this weekend. The seller guaranteed that it is "82% curse free"...

Hey Veeky Forums, I picked up this amulet at a con this weekend. The seller guaranteed that it is "82% curse free", dubs decides what the 12% strength curse does.

Only ugly girls and/or men will find you attractive

>curse

Better than nobody finding me attractive

It curses you to buy more cursed amulets.

Minor Amulet of Forced Homosexuality

more interested in what the other 6% does

82+12 = 94

OP here. I have dyslexia. Forgive me.

Causes you forcefully kill yourself in the most painful way possible

Only ugly girls or very very attractive men will find you attractive. True Amulet of Forced Homosexuality there

You are cursed to forever have Steam sales occur exactly 2/3rds of the way between your most recent paycheck and your next one, when you have almost no money in the bank.

You are forever cursed... 12% of the time. Between the short window of the effects of the curse and the fact that the random timing of the curse has a decent chance of coming into play when you aren't doing anything curseable (like sleeping), it's effectively a talisman of minor bad luck.

You will be compelled to say the most offensive thing you can think of to every new person you meet.

What con?

What would the 100% version of that be?

it curses you to only 20/crit when it doesn't matter (ie: cleaning a house) and when the chips are down you always roll a 1/crit fail.

You are cursed to dwell on Veeky Forums for the rest of your life. It has nothing to do with the amulet, but don't forget: You're here forever.

>"82% curse free"
>dubs decides what the 12% strength curse does.

Evidently, it inhibits math.

You never stop shiting your pants

Momocon, in Atlanta.

Better then no girls and only gay men desu

You become a futa

I think you got it first. However, I already had that curse.

You will never stop shitting other peoples' pants.

You occasionally, about 16% of the time, can't find something in stock anywhere.

12% of your hair falls out

You will slowly pull all the hair out of your body and eat it

Everything you eat will now taste faintly of stale spooge.

12% of your body will randomly catch on fire

You will miss out on +12% more opportunities in life.

There is now a 12% greater chance of losing your cock in a horrible way

is that a flat 12% or a daily recursive 12%?

You will eat your own shit and drink your piss

Increases daily

you are 18% more likely to fail the Emperor.

Your waifu will never love you

Spider a shit, snake a best

Biblefag pls.

You will always smell vaguely of rot and decay.

You'll smell of failure and cum

You will never get dubs in your own threads again

You'll want to immediately suck the dicks of 12% of every male you see for life.

Die!

Animals are 12% more likely to annally ape you

12% of every dick seems complicated. So do you just have a long line measuring each individual dick and doing the math to get the correct percentage or what

Perhaps it only forces you to commit Sudoku 1 one out of 8 of times you don it. Or the method of suicide it forces is only effective 12% of the time.

What if you don't see a number of men every day that is a multiple of 12? Do you only want to suck part of a dick or what

user, obviously that extra 6% is for the nebulous zone of "A Curse But Not Really"

12% increased habitual masturbation.

The man knows what he wants.

a 18% chance of becoming what you hate the most.
or a furry which ever comes first.

Suck the dick of 12% of males, not suck 12% of each dick

Basically, every 12th male you see, you just go to town.

Evidently, makes you unable to do math.

Nigga thats a JO crystal you potentially got ripped off

That's not all that much of a curse. It's maybe four percentage points above baseline.

Oh man is that an artifact JO crystal?
Try talking to it, see if it's intelligent.
Maybe try jacking off with your bros to see if you can awaken it.

Well evidently makes you bad at math.

It is evident that it retards your ability to perform mathematics.

Scrambling numbers is dysgraphia, actually, which is a separate disorder entirely.

Dysgraphia is terrible hand writing. What you're talking about is Dyscalculia

HA! Found your curse.