Tell me, why did your character choose the life of a murderhobo, Veeky Forums? It's not a very good life...

Because 100% of people who sit in their safe little homes die, and only 99.9999999% of people who go adventuring into unknown places full of dark magic die.
I like those odds.

When i retire to rule the world/kingdom/whatever, I don't want it all shitted up with the evils I left unslain, cults ignored, or unfriendly gods lurking in the night.

Tell me, why did your character NOT choose the life of a Welfare leech, Veeky Forums? It's a very good life. For the Productive Class, death awaits at every turn, you're constantly watching your back, you spend your time surrounded by psychopaths who are ostensibly your coworkers and even worse psychopaths who are in management, and that's not even getting into the clients! Then there are the cube farms, the lab pits, all these horrific, SJW-filled expos you must attend. And you KEEP working. Sure, there's a paycheck. Sure, there's work that needs doing. But at some point, surely you can just ... skate? I mean, you're walking around with huge amounts of capital IN YOUR POCKET. You can cash out that Portfolio and that IRA and those Bearer Bonds and that would be enough to buy a huge Cadillac, then spend the rest of your days living comfortably in
free housing, with free food, clothing, medical care, Obamaphones, college and that sweet af EBT card you can use at liquor stores, legal marijuana dispensaries, strip clubs or even ATMs.

So, why? Why do you work? Why do you KEEP working?

This life was forced upon me. They took my job, they took my house, they took my health, then they took my family. Now, I'm taking their lives!

>You're a political-level power.

Okay, that doesn't explain why you keep delving into fucking dungeons though. That might explain why your life is still full of conflict, but it doesn't explain why you would think it's a good idea to plumb the Tomb of Horrors.

If anything, become a huge political fixture means you have more reasons NOT to put yourself needlessly at risk. As you say, high level adventurers are functionally WMD's with legs, so surely the smart move is to keep them safe until they're needed?

The Sith Lord paid to get him out of a hoverchair and back into service as a cyborg.
Also, he was butthurt that the mandos lost the war and wanted to see how many jedi he could kill in an hour. Eight.

Why, I just like to turn my enemies inside-out. There's nothing wrong with that if they're your enemies too, right?

It's a pilgrimage to find where her god wants her to place to be in the world. She hasn't found somewhere that feels like where she should be and is beginning to wonder if traveling the world helping people and spreading the word of him is what she's meant to be doing.

I have been bestowed with this holy mission. It is my sacred duty to fulfill it: I cannot back down; I will not surrender. I will not stop fighting for my life until the last bonfire of hope has been extinguished.

>It's not a very good life.

As opposed to back breaking labour giving you chronic arthritis by twenty and a six foot dirt ceiling by 30?

thelocal.it/20160527/groundbreaking-study-reveals-brutal-realities-of-life-in-ancient-rome

Because when (if) you get out of the Tomb of Horror, you'll have twice the power you had when you entered. I mean, being able to instantly teleport across the globe is nice, but if you do this one last gig, you'll be able to shape your own personal reality.

I only do it part time and when moving towns after things inevitably blow up in my face or the local angry mob decides they don't like elves after all.

Quit tempting me fucker

Working for his God of course. He kinda owes him after all, what with that whole brining him back from death and granting him power thing.

Or the LG. Or the NE. Or the CN...

But hey, I'm glad you're in your comfort zone, thinking alignments are personality restrictors. Better yet, try not playing DND at all, I'm sure things might work out better once you get over your autism.

I need money and connections, relatively quickly, and I'm not smart enough to do it another way. There is a city I need to sack and I'll need a small army to do it.

Cause they fucked up big time and were forced to go on a penitence crusade(i.e. banishment)

Last murderhobo I played grew up a street urchin who was forced into street fighting for the amusement of criminals. Murder for survival is all she really knew, the only way to get a meal was either kill or serve as a gang lord's rape toy for the evening.
And once you're good at something it's hard to stop.

I don't know, it seems like that character could break more hearts as a manwhore than an adventurer.

So welfare kid mentality? Always poor so takes actions that cause her to remain below the poverty line?

No man or woman can have his heart, for it belongs to the goddess of love alone.

Anyone who tries to seduce him will suffer needlessly.

Right. And even when she got wealth her conditioning doesn't just evaporate. She was still inclined to fight on and gather more wealth until there was nothing left to threaten her.

>seduce him

No, no, no. See, the goal is to break hearts so what he does is seduce YOU and then LEAVE you once you're addicted to him.

Too ambitious to settle for being the 5 son of a minor count

--Kid got out of the army and doesn't know how to do anything else. The only other option is the local criminal gangs, and he figures fighting rats & gobbos in the sticks is easier.

--Poineer family, Third son--or daughter--figures rather than waiting for the bullshit on the other side of the ridgeline to come to them (s)he might as well start going after it first.

--Local lord needs a deniable covert ops/dirty tricks force. Given that this is a poor, minor fief on the fringes of civilization, what the lord gets is a mix of local gypsies/hillbillies, the dregs of his jail, and the town drunk; maybe with an annoying foreign missionary, or an enemy deserter who went native.

--"OK, you all meet in a bar."

This man has a point. Nobody prays to the God of Retirement.

Most teachers do, I can tell you that.

>When I get to stop putting up with your shitty children, it'll be a miracle.

Actually I play a noble bard ballerina and my goal is to perform in the Maximus Arena stage in Waterdeep.
I occasionaly have to follow my friends to those god awful jungles where they want to ransack tombs and whatnot, because clearly they are demented. It sucks, but at least I get to enthrall the commoners and peasants with my dance and playing the harp, increasing the status and reputation of my family's noble name by helping to defeat disease and famine and amassing coinage for my abusive father and vicious mother, so they can play the game of thrones with the other nobles of our city, by sharing part of the profit that my murderhobo friends gather.
It's pretty fucking awesome.

I have a few Murderhobo Simulator characters ongoing right now, so I'll share the cliffnotes.

>Barbarian seeks the last living heir of the family he slaughtered out of revenge. Wants to cut loose ends, but made an unspoken agreement to help a Warlock on HIS journey. Quid pro quo

>Diviner wants to save the world. It's a gamble based on unfounded research, but he's confident he's right, and he doesn't seem to have much else to live for besides rationalizing his studies

>Paladin/Rogue is a vengeful knight/serial killer, and sought out Ravenloft to avenge those killed/to seek refuge from the past catching up to him.

I'm bad with women. I found that crawling through dungeons and slaughtering Goblins is a good way to work off my frustrations.

This. Murderhobos are basically career criminals looking for that one last score. It's why Shadowrun's Tolkien meets Gibson pitch works so well.

I am essentially a ForeverDM, but here are the motivations for the characters in my current game.

>Fighter/Pally: Believes he is the chosen one, he will save the world
>Ranger: No reason Other than, I suppose, the fighter'sliteral oak tree of a dick
>Rogue: Wants to bring about the 4th Demon War. He succeeded, now he's just here.
>Wizard: His wizard dad is a lying bitch, so he's gonna go become a lich, then absorb a different lich, then kill his dad.

No matter how hard I try, this game can never stay serious.

Okay this is going to sound edgy as fuck.

He likes fighting. A lot. And he is utterly ashamed by that fact because he really doesn't have any excuse for being such an edgelord.

He clearly wasn't his parents favorite but that had less to do with love and more to do with the fact that his sister would talk about something other than fighting. He was raised in a loving household, got good grades had something of a bizarre relationship with the girl that lived in the apartment next to him and still couldn't control himself right up until it came to light that he was a Phys Adept.

So he left rather than stay and end up in corp sec, changed his name fucked off halfway across the country and fell in with some relatively white hat mercenaries running for a hacktivist collective, working for some pay but mostly so he can wake up and say even if he isn't a good man at least he tries not to be an asshole.

I play a lawful neutral epic level character (our campaign has been running for probably 10 years now and we have literally dozens of characters. our most powerful have become gods). He is a level 40 character that is currently on path to become the god of justice. He is a level 20 cleric, level 20 fighter
He currently travels around the multiverse bringing balance to the cosmos with a neutral good 40th level wizard and a neutral level 40 rogue. he carries a scattergun that fires undead/evil outsider bane shells and a greataxe with brilliant energy, speed and vorpal for everything else. he has formed entire holy orders in the name of his god and has been marked as his god's eventual avatar. Little does he know that the only way to become his god's avatar is to defeat the current god of destruction, who was his sister, defeated previously at his hands hundreds of years earlier.

"Call me Ishmael. Some years ago—never mind how long precisely—having little or no money in my purse, and nothing particular to interest me on shore, I thought I would sail about a little and see the watery part of the world. It is a way I have of driving off the spleen and regulating the circulation. Whenever I find myself growing grim about the mouth; whenever it is a damp, drizzly November in my soul; whenever I find myself involuntarily pausing before coffin warehouses, and bringing up the rear of every funeral I meet; and especially whenever my hypos get such an upper hand of me, that it requires a strong moral principle to prevent me from deliberately stepping into the street, and methodically knocking people's hats off—then, I account it high time to get to sea as soon as I can. This is my substitute for pistol and ball."

Substitute sea for adventure and this pretty much has it.

He started murder-hoboing up and down the West Coast to escape the quickly corporatizing Vegas for greener, less structured pastures.
He continued because holy shit, robbing things and killing people is fun.
He continues to because he's old now and doesn't really know how to do anything else. The few times he tried to go legit, he got bored and went back to shady shit.

Because one of my party members is a murderhobo and began murderhoboing right away in public.

After running away from the former town I intended to retire and leave the party to make a new character fitting the soon to be murderhobofest, but the DM made clear that now we have mercenaries and the magical princess of the land after our heads, not so subtly implying that it would mean my former character would be ambushed and shanked as soon as he splitted from the party. I own my little bugger a chance to die trying to clear his name rather than letting the DM erase him from existance whitout a roll.