What's the best way to lie about a six month gap in employment if I've just been sitting on my arse?

Say you discovered Bitcoin early and invested and kept reinvesting and turned a good profit.

Tell them you helped organize other people's portfolios and shit.

Is it even a lie?

Who's anyone to question you ?

You can't just say that and not tell us what degree faggot.

fuck it. just lie and say you had experience at so & so.

English Literature.

Say you were taking a vacation. That's what you were doing: not working for 5-6 months.

Tell them you were trying to become a writer and failed because of your laziness and ineptitude.
They will appreciate your honesty and give you the job without hesitation.

WRONG
That's what you get for asking a bunch of neets for financial advice. OP- all you have to do is create a fake employer. It's very simple. Anything else will or could be interpreted badly.

Say you wrote an ebook and just pick one from amazon or kindle or whatever and say it's yours.

this and /thread
just give one of your friends numbah as the employer
just make sure to fill him in on the dets
its super easy

This. Say you've been doing freelance whatever for small businesses.

I just got through an interview and a call back after an 8 year gap by saying depression and making a big deal about how I fought back and reclaimed my life again. 6 months can be written off as you taking some ‘me’ time, or should it be meme time, kek. Yeah, kill me. Fuck them, you don’t have to work 24/7 your whole life. Tell them you couldn’t be arsed to work, who gives a shit as long as you are qualified for the job and can hold a conversation in the interview. 6 months gap on your cv only matters in shit jobs anyway. If you want one of those ‘professional’ jobs then literally kys, it is the humane thing to do.

Tell them you masturbated daily to traps for six months. Employers appreciate honesty above all.

Your hire/termination dates are one of the only things (in some states the only thing) that can be disclosed/asked for by businesses legally, and they do ask.

I wouldn't say anything. 6 months is not a big deal. Say family illness or something if pressed.

Just wondering, anyone got any pointers as to what level of job I should look for?

I'm in the UK, got a 2:1 and the university is 16th in its field. The university asked me to send them my CV so they can look for graduate jobs for me (because if I'm not employed 6 months after graduating I fuck up their statistics) and they keep sending me marketing/finance vacancies earning 16-25K.

Lie on your resume. I have five year gaps filled in with stuff i never did. I also say that im self employed part time as a pc technician which is something you can corroborate with a couple friends as references. Ive gotten offers for jobs making over 20 an hour even though ive been a NEET half my life.

Something with a uniform. Make your money in property, crypto or stocks. The service industry sucks and becoming an office professional is shit their. You will be much happier in a blue collar job. Then get a wife who does arts and crafts who wants to bring up her kids at home. Let her. She will be creative, make your life better and she can work when the kids are grown. More likely is she will develope her creativity skills and make the world a better place. Possibly even write a book or become an artist and bring some money in. Not that you will need money if you invest wisely. Life is for living, not working. Don’t go chasing the 9-5 ‘dream’ because it sucks. The best 95% of ppl achieving that get is a whore and coke habit, failed marriages and stress to reach the next level of success. It’s a trap. Any woman who wants a part of that world deserves spent ovaries and cats. You need to get some kids before you hit 25 ideally or 35 as a guy once you have some investments and your own house. Do that, retire by 50 and be happy. Take vitamin d supliments too. The sun is shit here and you will never get enough making your test levels low. Go to the gym and lift weights 3 times a week minimum for 30-45min also + plus cardio.

>6 months isn't a big deal at all and wouldn't even cross my mind as a flag desu.
>6 months is not a big deal
This is the answer.

>vacation
OK answer. Pretty benign, but wastes an opportunity to show your "positive attitude".

>making a big deal about how I fought back and reclaimed my life again
Very good answer.

Do continue to foul up their statistics. Maybe work in a factory?

>You will be much happier in a blue collar job.
In all likelyhood this.

>Do continue to foul up their statistics. Maybe work in a factory?
Why?