After spending all spells and losing all your weapons (the GM was an asshole)...

After spending all spells and losing all your weapons (the GM was an asshole), you are about to face an ancient beholder, he's just a few rooms of the dungeon away. You can't afford any delay - fortunately, you found a chest with those two items:
>fortg.michal-sadowski.eu/items.php
How do you fare?

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=9SKFwtgUJHs
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

Air potion of magical speed fortification;
Bronze orb of gnomish undeath.

metal flute of all-powerful liches;
sapphire guitar of invicible destiny change.

I won the game.

Ghost sapphire wand of dwarven giants enhancement;

berserker bone dice of dark hexes.

"Dwarven Giants"...so...humans? anyway it sounds like it gives you giants strength or some shit.

And dark hexes sound good. I think i'll survive a round.

Joke on the GM, I use natural weapons!
But to play the game:
>paper rope of all-powerful elves;
>sapphire flute of ancient liberation.
Obliviously I use the flute to enchant the rope and probably do nothing useful against a beholder.

>Glittering parchment dice of evil light;
>oil talisman of endless undeath change.

Time to roll up some evil skeleton magic.

>ghost wooden shard of tiny sound blasting;
>bone gambeson.
Well alright, that's like +1AC and uh... I can blast some tiny sounds. For ghosts. Time to reroll.

Stone gambeson;
decent bronze wand of all-powerful earth explosion.

Indestructible crossbow
Foolish diamond bomb of world destruction

I think this speaks for itself, really

> shard of blessed alteration;
> druidic bronze sword of responsibility.
Ok, a bronze sword is probably not that great, but I guess I have to try...
I'm going to crush my enemies under the weight of responsibility!

...

Awesome parchment ring of unbreakable ooze spellthieving;
prototype cloth mask of druidic desctruction.

Yeah I dunno bout this.

>berserker stone kit of all-powerful birds;
>water shard of mind controlling strength enhancement.
Pretty sure I'm good.

> strengthened mind controlled all-powerful birds berserks
Ok, that's horrific.

Steel mirror of jumping;
Sapphire bagpipe of ever-failing detection.

>Kek
>e
>k

Singing bone apparatus of defence;
broken bone blade of speed.

Skeletons vs Beholders GO!

[muffled spooky scary skeletons playing]

Steel mirror of Giants, and... sword. I'm probably playing a caster so... fuck

Fooled around with the 'setting' generator. Got this.

>god of war
>pacifist

>Shrieking golden gloves of wizards
>Water-full plate of undersized rangers jumping

so i guess these gloves are screaming at him while a bunch of level 0.1 rangers leap around on him like fleas

>razor diamond harph of silly responsibility;
>bronze dice of undersized air.

To be honest, I would have been boned even if I had my weapon. Might as well go out playing the harp.

>poisoning golden gloves of giants
>tiny water kit of dwarven bravery devouring

Well, I can probably try to steal some dwarven bravery, because I'm going to need all that bravery to get into poison-punching range.

Better hope you got quickened plane shift prepared, foul beast!

The setting generator needs a lot of work. I'll try to fix this one

Eh, why not. He may be the « Si vis pacem, para bellum » god.
He is guy that wanted to stop the horrors of war, so he ascended to become a divine balance of terror or something.

>Giant silver dice of broken elves acquisition;
awesome steel crowbar of blessed angels.

Well, at least I have a crowbar.

>>Giant silver dice of (mind)broken elves acquisition;

Mask of all-powerful spiders fortification;
Crown of animating.

I think I'm actually overpowered. I have fucking spider fortifications.

>I'll try to fix this one
Conflicting stuff like that may actually lead to some inspiration like

Iron gambesonof indestructible fortune fortification;

cursedropeof detection.

I guess I'm rich? Or...covered in riches? Maybe i just won't be poor, but I could probably tie down that beholder with what is obviously a beholder seeking curse rope

Ask yourself, how do pacifists go to war? I actually read a book about this.

Turns out when pushed the pacifist civilization resorted to creating a sapient viral infection rather than get its hands dirty, the virus turned into a massive mutating jungle and consumed them AND their enemies.

Drowish parchment gambeson of weak speed summoning;

berserkerparchment idol of dark enhancement.

I guess i could summon a bunch of small Dark Elves and then enhance them to fight for me. This fits my style exactly

Unbreakable bone ring of singing jumping;
air full plate of gnomish bravery alteration.

Looks like I'm going to win through musical acrobatics.

Perhaps with bravery alteration I can scare the beholder and boost my, and my parties, moral to unheard of levels.

This is what I'd be singing while doing my jumps with the ring: youtube.com/watch?v=9SKFwtgUJHs

portable hole and a bag of holding suicide useless party member

shrieking banner of undead;
diamond crown of foolish devouring.

I swarm the Beholder with my undead troops and devour it's power. Then, possibly, my crown get's posessed by beholder's spirit and then in turn posesses me.

Water potion of prototype spellthieving;
wooden idol of foolish wizards creation.

So, uh, I use the idol to create a lot of foolish wizards to swarm the beholder, then I drink the potion and steal the beholder's spells, then hopefully the beholder's beaten and I do what I need to before the wizards' foolish antics ruin me?

You have become a dooty skeletal, congratulations

>Intelligent bone apparatus of earth destruction
>Razor bone axe

Use the 'bone apparatus' to dig through the dungeon walls and bypass the beholder entirely, 'cos fuck fighting that thing using a stick with a sharpened piece of bone strapped to it.

>Intelligent diamond orb of ancient speed;
>planar hide mask of all-powerful spiders devouring.

Uh, I guess I run away from the beholder and go...eat Lloth? Assuming I can talk the orb into helping me.

>Awesome cloth full plate of poison desctruction;
>Stone ring of all-powerful devourer poisoning.
So, is does it count as cloth armor or plate? And does it destroy the ring or not?

>golden guitar of responsibility desctruction.
Fuck that shit, someone else can kill the damn beholder.

blessed bone idol of mind folding;
ever-failing cloth banner of razor devourer fortification.

I think the bone idol started working on me before I got to item number 2

>Paper trousers;
>singing iron crowbar of cursed detection.

So, the crowbar sings when it detects, maybe really loudly and it's detecting all the time because curse. And I got the bard's pants somehow...

>tiny water kit of dwarven bravery devouring
You mean an alcohol-stealing hip flask?

Or maybe it fortifies spiders?

This.
Don't fix it too well, since contradicting ideas can lead to some pretty neat concepts. I remember in one of the earlier versions of the setting generator I got:
>the gods are dead
>the gods walk the earth
which is pretty fucking metal as far as setting ideas go.

>good wooden lute of luck fortification;
>weak sapphire apparatus of discord folding.
Let's hope that luck fortification gives me the power of nat 20s. As for the apparatus, I suppose I could piss off a draconequus after this is all over.

>poisoning harp of biting defence
>forbidden golden crown of razor power
I think I'll do alright.

>US lapel insignia, pilot wings & ribbons
>British style rank insignia on epaulets

I'm...going to need to see your orders, "sir".

Hell yeah

Iron sling;
wooden mask of vibrating rangers.

Cool, I can summon rangers to deal with the monster for me.

ghost wooden hammer of magical birds defence;
amazing parchment scabbard of cursed world.

I'm not entirely clear on what any of those two items are and what they do.. Probably fuckall for fighting a beholder.

>water wand of speed;
>underwhelming iron shard of moon acquisition.

Acquiring a few moons could be quite fortuitous.

>Razor ruby dice of bravery;
>hide full plate of glittering liches replacement.
Throwing razors at it won't help, but at least I'm brave.
And...not sure what to make of this. Full plate. Made from hide. Is it the replacement of glittering liches? If this thing was designed to protect against undead Ziggy Stardust, I might make it. Although, it could ONLY be useful for replacing liches. Or it could replace the beholder with a glittering lich. Or me?
So many questions. At least I have brave dice.

>parchment book of oversized drake acquisition;
>iron gauntlet of cursed folding.
Step 1: acquire oversized drakes
Step 2: punch the beholder while it's distracted by drakes
Step 3: watch it turn into origami
Step 4: feed to drakes
Step 5: ????
Step 6: Profit!

Awesome bone spear of maiming
Sapphire flute of command

I guess I'm all set.

>Indestructible hide talisman of dispel;
>paper idol of mind controlling alteration.
Use talisman to dispel any and all protection on the Beholder. Use idol of mind control on the defenceless Beholder.
Use Beholder to start crazy fantasy disco.

Oversized talisman of dark poison acquisition;
ruby bomb of evil undead.

If you can't beat them, join them?

>dragonish diamond full plate
That doesn't seem to be very combat effective.

>poisoning bone axe of poisoning
Redundant axe is redundant.

>jumping metal sword
>dragonish bronze idol of giant change

Sounds like something from Kotetsu Jeeg. Also, useful.

diamond ring of prototype knowledge defence;
berserker stone talisman of vibrating knowledge liberation.

Maybe?

I dunno.

>glowing dagger of fluffy dwarves
>diamond bomb

I have no idea what the first one is supposed to do, but it should be a decent distraction while I throw in a clearly powerful explosive.

>indestructible bronze gauntlet of stars;
>dark bronze trousers of foolish enhancement.
Not only do I kill the ancient beholder, I look fabulous while doing it.