Think of a spell. Now, can you write it down in rhyme the way a wizard would cast it?

Think of a spell. Now, can you write it down in rhyme the way a wizard would cast it?

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Eat the gristle and the fat,
Magic missile, how 'bout that?

My sorcerous powers do abound
Sleep away your combat round

My flame of Justice will cleanse these lands,
Now take this; Burning Hands!

These lights from the hands may make me look gay,
But you'll feel the wrath of my color spray!

(Prismatic spray also works, of course, and is more wrathful)

To the ceiling, to the floor,
To the portal of my dimension door

Listen here marine you're in for a jolt
because up your ass comes my doombolt!

I call upon dark powers old,
My vampiric touch will leave you cold

The mightiest grip in all the land
Watch out! It's Bigby's Grasping Hand!


I'm having way too much fun with this

I swear to fuck I'll kill you all
with this fucking Fireball

My spells can undo any lock,
For all that I must do is...knock

My mission requires me to be fleet,
So I summon you, My phantom Steed!

This is fun

Speak to me your words uncouth?
Forsooth! No more when you enter my zone of truth!

I need someone to rule in my stead,
guess I'll use Create Undead.

This spell will make you barf out loud,
Woozle wuzzle, stinking cloud!

There is no way to resist my will,
When I utter Power Word Kill.

Thou loathsome foes, you're in for a jolt
On the receiving end of my lightning bolt!

My whip is ballin, my wallet I flaunt;
hop in my lambo for an Ethereal Jaunt

Your limbs will tire, your mind will burn,
From this maze you shan't return!

You've had it bad and you'll have it worse!
Face my wrath! On you, I Bestow Curse!

Illusory clones, fast as I can make them,
Have another simulacrum!

Thought you'd leave the fight with ease?
Try now running by that grease!

Try as you might, you'll never get at me,
I'm behind seven chain contingencies!

Gone gone the form of man

Am I human, or a nimble elf?
none shall know I Alter Self.

Fleet and steed don't rhyme dum dum.

Very nice

Thy earthly form I shall ablate,
With maximized Disintegrate!

With this rhyme I spit your skin will molt
From this red hot fiery Lighting Bolt!

In the darkness shan't thou fright,
In the glow of my dancing lights.

Carry that!? I dare not risk,
Instead I'll call my Floating Disk!
One short moment, away it'll whisk!
It's rather slow though, tsk tsk tsk...

Your frozen limbs you will be cursin'
Once I hit you with Hold Person

Hear them whine and hear them whistle
That's the sound of my magic missile

Heavens, hear me! Grant me power!
Over week and day and hour!
Every second, comes unfurled!
Time Stops its flow - and stops the world!

Holy shit you're out of luck!
Eat this smite you undead fuck!

Polymorph shall make you wise,
By seeing life through another's eyes

...

Power beyond the twilight
and crimson blood that flows,
Buried in the stream of time
is where your power grows,
I pledge myself to conquer,
all the foes who stand
Before the mighty gift bestowed,
in my unworthy hand

I must away and with all haste,
I've not a moment more to waste.
You see, this is a pressing need,
To me, my trusty phantom steed!

To overcome the spider's curse,
Simply quote a bible verse

...

I'mma be honest
That swing you made was off the shizzle
But now you'll taste this magic missile

Through wondrous chant and true evocation,
Behold my prestidigitation

Okay, so MAYBE I could've made the reference a little less obvious.

Too bad, your first strike shouldn't have missed. I'm the fucking muscle wizard; I cast Fist.

You have wronged me yet again,
So cast off the form of mortal man.
Perhaps the serpent's shape you'll take,
Or that of a stone deep in a lake.
Maybe a tall tree in a field,
Or the sword that warriors wield.
You'll be as a barnacle beneath the wharf,
On the receiving end of True Polymorph!

Lucky I had shield ready, your beef I can block,
Now to respond, Summon: The Rock

Your swords shall find no purchase with me,
Magic armor, 1-2-3!

Rise from the ground, plants that strangle!
Envelope my foes, I cast Entangle!

It's time to feast!
Bring me some wine
And pearls. I shall
Identify.

This object's powers I shall descry
With scrutinous gaze I thee IDENTIFY!

Blackened bones, skin aflay
Maximised fucking Scorching Ray!

Towers fall, sovereigns kneel
Open, wound no god can heal
World turtle's back again shall break
Serpent's rising, COME, EARTHQUAKE!

With a single joyous sound
Freedom's claim leaves none bound.

Foul serpents of your blood shall slake;
I fling these twigs, now Sticks To Snakes!

You're the type that I do like:
One that won't withstand True Strike!

You better watch out, you better not die!
But if you do, Re-vive-i-fy!
Badass brawler's com-ing, a-round.

Double, double, toil and trouble, fire burn and cauldron bubble, Greater Crystal Soul Mass.

I guess I can't...

My janky magic will kick your casual ass,
Git gud, here comes greater crystal soul mass!

To in my mind fuck the king's mother, before my my magic, I Disguise Other!

Conjunction junction, what's your function?
I'm going to cast that Mage's Disjunction.

Death, destruction and minmaxing,
Want to start some scrimmage?
Fools, I am not even here,
It's Projected Image!

I see your blade and hear your speech
I'll misty step beyond your reach!

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
HA HA HA HA, MAGIC JAR!!

Those clouds above are very frightening,
Your skin will singe once I call lightning!

Sorry about breaking your spine
But now I can turn your tears to wine!

Deserving death while still natal
Fuck this game, I cast FATAL.

Wanna see my magic lawn?
I you don't, be gone!
Otherwise I'm going to
Turn you flesh to stone.

Now I'm imagining that these are all mnemonics being used by a particularly old wizard who keeps forgetting the names of his spells. Some of these actually sound really cool.

We are falling from great height,
a spell I'll cast to solve our plight
O plume of bird, on you I call
to save our skins, cast Feather Fall!

Your destiny's death, you'll feel as much
in the clutching grasp of my Chill Touch!

Fucking you say? You better watch your tongue.
else you'll find quite hard to talk with an Aboleth's lung.

This miracle is of perversity
That will make of you a travesty
Nonetheless, accept it with levity
Behold, it's WAVES OF ECSTASY

"Rummaging through stuff of mine,
For some magic boons?
Well, I hope you're doing fine.
Now, explosive runes!"

Please, OP. This won't be too hard.
Don't you know, I took Multiclass: Bard?

Danger looms while you can see me.
But sucks for you, for I cast: Invisibility!

Gold digging bitches will come from across the nation,
when they hear how I became Midas with Transmutation.

I've got just the spell here, to make you fall.
Crap, which one was it? Oh yeah, Fireball!

A buff spell for you. No, it won't increase your length!
Just go do all the dirty work, Fighter, with some added Strength.

Oi, fuck these rhymes, I'm not on a bender;
Why's it so hard to cast Eagle's Splendor?

I wouldn't become a strong thaumamancer
If I haven't used the Mnemonic Enhancer.
d20srd.org/srd/spells/mnemonicEnhancer.htm

now you'll find I'll split my visage
Which one is real, with Mirror Image?

Fork of lightning
Thunder's crash
Run thrice backwards
Round struck ash
Cut the bark
And pierce the skin
Brings the wandering spirits in.

I'll win a race of any length
For you see, I have Bull's Strength!

I'll outlast you, that's my assurance
For I am blessed with Bear's Endurance

Take care that you don't fall flat on your face,
I'll ensure it, have some Cat's Grace!

My intelligence is truly stunning,
I'll bamboozle you with Fox's Cunning

You'll find this pastime truly is dumb
Once you're filled with Owl's Wisdom

Pick a face from off the shelf
And try it on; Alter Self.

Dweomer's warp be torn asunder
Thaumic weft again has fell
Magic's death in rolling thunder
Two rights make wrong with Counterspell.

Hands of giants, mountain's thews
Strength of bulls to speed the charge
Ancient hero's strength to use
Earthen champion, now, enlarge!

A fading eye, A lasting sigh
A final, mourning, last goodbye
A now-escaping fleeting breath
A single touch: Finger of Death.

A man, it seems, on a drinking tear
Would search for miles for good brown beer
What icy grasp did hold his heart
To play for years the drunkard's part?
In vain he sought both far and near, High and low, to Remove Fear.

That cavalry charge is pathetically small
When compared to this prismatic wall.

That's some prime shit, but I would adjust the second line be "beware the keen of my magic missiles".

Hard mode:

make it a rap

Hardest mode:

make it a good rap

You who dared deface my home,
Fooled to think you'd find my tome.
You who dared brave the unknown,
And sought, with this, to steal the throne.
Your courage, yes, I must commend,
But now this farce is at its end.
Know nothing else, and scream alone,
As now I change your Flesh to Stone.

Fear of even coming near
For a new one I will tear
Clear through you and right from here
With a goddamn eldritch spear.

Gods dance among us
I will walk the paths they stride
Ethereal Jaunt

Now this is a story all about how
Your carriage flipped, turned upside down
But I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became a Wizard and casted Repair.

Aww skeet skeet

Hear them rattle, see them shake
Rising up, feel the earth quake
They come in hordes, my faithful thralls
They shamble to me, to heed my calls
Fleshed stripped bare, bones bleach white
I Create Undead, they walk tonight!

Gasp! Bested by the power you wield!
Oh wait, I forgot. I prepped Shield.

Seams unsewn or metal bending?
This repair behooves my Mending!

Oh, I'm sorry, did you have plans?
Take this! My Pocket Burning Hands!

Good thread.

BY THE SUN AND BY THE MOON
LIGHTNING BOLT
KRACKABOOM!

THE DANGER CLAW SHALL SNIP AND SNAP
ULTIMATE POWER CRAB ATTACK

I laugh and taunt and pester and jeer
while i'm in Otillukes Resilient Sphere

Archon's flames, swarm around
Burn the sky and shred the ground
Hide the Moon; avert the Sun
Constellation Requiem

bagic fagic
detect magic

Empowered with hellish flames
Hellish Rebuke will end your game

dankest wizard award nominee

underrated post

I'm not sure what you'll do
But i cast summon monster II

I love you

I overkeked.