Inquisitorial Penal Regiment Veeky Forums: Space Hulk Conquered edition

Yea? Should we krump dem humies first or afta da newz, Kaptin?

In the steam group, from the steam computer app (mobile version and internet browser can't) at the right side of the group page

On the group page, hit the button that says "Enter Chat Room". It'll open your Steam Client if it's not already open and bam, it'll put you in.

UUGGHHH... I gotta install Steam... again

ladz we ain't krumpin these ummies, we'z headin for da eye of terra!
>grins
'oo wants ta steal some spiky shiney fings from da chaoz ladz!?

>Still nursing a headache

Okay boss! O.R.K. Hulky needz spikey bitz almost as much as dakka, methinks.

>meanwhile

What's that sir? They've cleared a Space Hulk and you kept me here doing this groxshit?! You bastard! Alright alright calm your armored tits. I'll take care of this one last thing and then I'm going back. Better not try and stop me...

Had to go on an unforeseen road trip to Fayetteville yesterday. Heading home now, so I'll be back with yall in about 3 or 4 hours.

>Meanwhile, at the same time in a Sector a couple of Segmentae away.....
>Alice is grabbing the last of her equipment prior to boarding the Cruiser headed for the Calixis Sector.
>She assumes the rest of her retinue and her associates on Praetoria are doing likewise.

I'm impatient to meet this inquisitor again... I can't remember his face.

...

I never forget a face...

>he's just mooching about and looking for the Eldar he heard talking earlier.

I must say... That ship we found was very intriguing, and an important find for the Imperium. I believe we should Return to make further investigations at a later date.

Well, you better get a good look at his face while it's intact. Because I'm gonna take a metal pipe or two to it.

Indeed, it will be fortunate if we can ask the Crew what happened. The logs can only tell us so much.....

>Alice appears to have chosen a Cadian 'disguise' for the the assignment, with weapons and equipment to match.

I would suggest both of you fetch some Cadian equipment. We don't want to let our quarry know that he's marked for death until we've got him in binders, eh?

I agree. I'll be ready to go when you order, ma'am.

And...

...save some of his face for me, will you? He used me... I kind of want to make him pay for what he did to me.

Certainly.
>goes look for the armoury

>The voice repeats itself periodically
>It seems to be coming from outside the ship

>searches for a window to look out of.
>is also confused by how sound can travel through space.

>paces and looks over the drop troops
Alright men. Find the vehicle bay. Maybe we can nab some good tech. The Techpriests are with us in this.

Larrs, any plan on how to get us back to our ship before...

We enter hell in reality?

As long as we don't do any -permanent- damage it'll be fine. Now, you'd better go along and grab your gear as well.

Go straight at the next two junctions then it's the first left! Quartermaster'll let you have whatever! Uh......Make sure it's marked.....uh.....412th!

Doubtful, sir. The orks have infested this place from left to right, they've tampered with most machinery.

>You can only see the frozen planet you are drifting away form and distant stars
>You realize the voice is a psychic message
>It is inside your head, but you know the direction where the "place that should be shunned" is centered

>over vox
Jackson, again at it? You can't loot an orks' space hulk!

412th, huh? Somebody's a fan of Lorn V's campaign it seems.
>She gives a smile as she goes to preppare herself

>is about to respond when
>he realises what is going on and he falls silent, no quips, no insults he just looks out into the ccold darkness.
no...

Such a shame...

I have to agree with the chief here, sir.

We'd better just find a way back to the penance before we strand too far. Maybe there are some teleporters somewhere?

Well, thanks to da lootin´, we´z got a lil´ sumfin´ no other orkz have!
>Pulls a small tube with a button on it out of a pocket
I made it meself. Considerin´ da new Kaptin doesn´t want to krump ya, you´ll need one.

Honey. Orks love to loot, soooo they'll have good loot.Loot that the Techpriests want.

I found this sir,
>hands him a perfectly good blender.
not sure if the techpriests will use it thou
>moves off to play to himself
>youtube.com/watch?v=1jg8jf9oTjw

I know I'll regret to ask this but... what does it do?

A blender...

...well if we get stranded we'll always be able to blend those who die of starvation.

Don't "Honey" me, Jackson, you are supposed to come back on board as soon as the direction of the Hulk has been altered, no ifs or buts.

It´z a lokalizzed tellyporta! Need to get ported? it will do that. It even knows if you are inside a wall and getz ya out of it! Also useful in fixing da more kommon problemz with da bigger tellyportaz. Like, tellyportin´ yiz insides on da outside.

But Honey. I like calling you Honey.
When are the dropships coming to get us?

>Is readjusting her helmet and is still uncharacteristically silent. Her legs seem to be a little off.

As soon as you tell me everything is done. And not that I don't enjoy bullying the techpriests and bossing around the pilots, but you are taking your sweet time there, eh.

hm...
Trooper Boer? Could you come over here a second?

>Alice says nothing immediately, instead waiting for LIX to head off before muttering "There was nothing to like about that Campaign....."
>sighs and boards the 'Hawk taking them to the Cruiser.

>Salutes Corporal
Corporal,, good to see you alive. Perimeter's secure. Or as secure as you can get on a greenskin infested hulk.

>Also boards the hawk some time later.

Excellent job trooper.

I have a mission for you. Test this possibly suicidal teleporting invention while I go deal with a way too obvious problem.

>Once that is said, he casually throws the machine into Boer's hands.

Hawthorn!

>Boards the hawk with a new set of armour on him

But Sweety. There is so much fun stuff here. Besides if you join me in searching then I'll let you boss me around in our room.

Rolled 58 (1d100)

>Catches it.
>Rolling to inspect

Uhmm, Corporal? Isn't this heretek?

>Turns to you and nods. Seems to become sligthly worried and scratches her helmet.

>With everyone on board the Thunderhawk takes off and is soon onboard the Cruiser.
>Said Cruiser also heads away from the Planet before entering the Warp. It has begun.
So.....you didn't actually tell the 'others' where our target Inquisitor is, right?

>A vessel loaded with troops and equipment also enters the Warp, headed for a different part of the Calixis Sector.

Well thank you very much for the offer, a pity that I have half the staff Greely left me babysitting me all the time and pretending I don't take part in the actions because "a throne agent and future teller of your caliber shouldn't throw her life away so easily and must stay where she can be more useful to the Imperium". Bullshit.

>nods at her as she walks past
you find anything good Sam?
>youtube.com/watch?v=VZ6O7Jk4MXs

>patrol group Hephaestus follows the cruiser

Probably, but it might also be our only means back home.

>Crosses his arms.
It's bad I know about your origins and haven't killed you already but it's even worse you're just plain out showing them around!

>Does he know it's not actually Samantha in there?

This is a penal regiment with a bad uniform policy, lady, but still with an uniform policy!

For a Xeno infiltrator you're doing a very poor job! Even the Ork and the Eldar got the clothing right! And your armor is promoting the concept of us being alligned to some greater weeaboo goodness or however the Blueberries call it! I want you to ditch that heresy you're wearing and get some human-made clothing, is that understood?!

And fucks sake eat something with more vitamins your legs are so thin they look like a Leman Russ ran over them!

>Probably not.

Rolled 94 (1d100)

Well, it's been an honor working with you, Corporal.
>Presses thingamajig.

Emperor Speed you magnificient bastard.
>Salutes and is actually hoping this ends right.

"Interrogator! The hulk! They're heading.. no, that's not right. That would take them a long time but they'd end up right in the eye!"

"It's our only lead on Theta Gamma's location. I know this ship isn't in top shape, but we can intercept a thronedamn space hulk!"

>The captain rubs her scar nervously.

"Prepare to cross it's path, starboard side. Ready the working grapnel cannons, and have the astropath try and contact them. Hopefully someone on the hulk will hear us."

Babe? Why don't you just order them to stop following you?

"dis is Kaptin Mozgul Shin Breaka also known as Bob, I hear ya"

"what ya want be doin?"

>Shakes her head and points towards a corridor as if to say "I looked there."

>Nods and takes a few steps back. Seems to become increasingly worried.

>Is now on the lookout for full body armor and a place to change.

>taps her on the shoulder
you ain't talking? Eisen got your tongue?

To the others? They may have overheard the subsector. But the world is still confidential to all but you. The Inquisitor is, after all, a heretic of Chaotic nature.

Holy fking hell, I almost expected to ice Soap.
>Disappears in a reddish flash. Reappears in another part of the Space Hulk.
Cough...cough...I...I'm alive! Thank the God-Emperor.
>Hails on voxcom
This is Trooper "Soap" Boer hailing. Corporal, I think I made it. Not off the Hulk... But I think I've found us a way off this Hulk.

Because they take orders from Greely. Fuck, if only that bastard shows up...
Trooper, do you hear me?
Going by the scans we have there should be a large bay not far off to your right. Can you get all the regiment there?

Excellent news trooper! Where are you at?!

>Noises begin eminating from somewhere in a nearby weirdboy, possibly the spleen

"Bob? Do you know where the rest of Theta Gamma has gotten to?"

Thank the Emperor for small mercies. Well....the Navigator tells me that the Warp is almost worryingly calm, we should be arriving......now actually.
>And just like that, the Cruiser exits the Warp.
Alright, what's our heading Callidon? I'm eager to slap this traitor in irons.

Only Vostroyans named after Pre-Crusade Vostroyan Stub Pistols can kill Soap.

me gitfinda says near da big tellyporta. Dat´z how you´ll get off da ship. Dat little fing ain´t got da WAAAAGH-power to take ya off da ship. But you can hit da button ´till yiz insides are on da inside.

"rest of da boys are making there way to a hanger mate, I'm staying with da orkz thou, I got me own crew now"

I could try to infiltate his hideout as one of them.

We could also use the regiment being this close as an advantadge, either as a distraction, assign them to attack some heretics here without telling them many details or either by using a cadian disguise and say we stranded off by accident.

Emperor preserve me...

>Shows him some sort of human medicine for the throath.

>Written on there in low gothic are the portions to take and when. Seems to be half empty and was apparently used two hours ago in the middle of the figth with the orks.

>raises an eybrow before shrugging and making his way to the hanger.

>Gropes around a fuse box.
Yeah, Anna. I'm...Got it ya fraking bastard...lighting up the hanger bay...
>Hanger bay lights up. Two pristine ships cover in millennia of grime and dust. A partial XVI LXIII shows across their hulls.
And I think the Ell-tee would want to see this.

St. Astrid´s Fall. A frontier world, moon orbiting the gas giant Sekmet.

"Well, that's good to hear."

>The weirdboy burbles

>Meanwhile, away from the astropath

"Interrogator, we can capture the hulk and eradicate the xeno scum in relatively short or-"

"No."

"Sir?"

"I said "no," Captain. He's taking his crew right into the Eye of Terror, as you noted earlier."

"Maybe there's something we don't know about along the way?"

"Then we'll deal with that if and when it happens. Hard pre-emption is best reserved for certainties."

It´z fine. Da boyz have said da survival rate skyrokkited with da lokalizzed tellyporta.

What did you find, trooper?

"guna miss ya boyz"

>turns to the WrydBoy
what's up Grog?

>Follows Mot discretly to the hangar. and begins looking for the tellyporta.

Just for the record. What is the actual survival rate?

"Good hunting, Bob."

>You realize the human's astropathic communications have been coming out of the weirdboy's internal organs, which hasn't caused him to explode.

"I got that weird humie taste in me brain, boss."

Da WAAAGH be pulsatin´, Kaptin. Me brainz be already jigglin´ from it, see?

Afta da use of da lokalizzed tellypora... Only da boyz dat get inztantly zogged ´ave died. About 90 pershunt of da boyz live.

The 'off course' excuse is the one we were thinking of going for. We'll make it so.

Very well, we'll head for the planet now. Should be there before too long.
>The ship heads in the direction of St. Astrid's Fall.
Meanwhile, what can you tell us of the forces this Heretic has at his command?

I need a SitRep ASAP Thanks

>Dmitry is present
>In body at least
>Not necessarily in mind
>The good major and his men reek of old vodka and promethium
>And most likely feces aswell
>Not necessarily their own feces
>Regardless they're present, somewhere, how aware they are of the situation is questionable, and how aware they are of themselves is also questionable

Well, Anna.
>Wipes grime away from a small section of the hull
They look like a fat Thunderbird... And it's in high Gothic.
>Squinting heavily at the words, trying to remember half-forgotten lessons by Sister Amicia in the Schola Progenium
Says...Loo..Nuah...Wooo...ives. Loo Nuah Woo ives. Does that make sense to you?

right...
>turns on the shipwide coms
LISTEN UP LADS WHEN DEEZ UMMIES LEAVE WERE GOIN TO DA EYE OF TERRA WHERE I KAN KONFIRM THERE'S GUNNA BE LOOTIN AND FOIGHTIN FOR BLOODY LONG TIME SO I WANT YOU TA GIT READY YA HEAR?
>Bobs hits at random switches until he finds music.
>youtube.com/watch?v=Y5dQOYe6yRY
das betta.

He has his most controllable experiments protecting him. Some servitors outfitted with heavy weaponry, most likely his Maltek assassins and some servants, some of which are most likely hereteks.

Loo-nah Woo... Lu-na...
...
Trooper?
First, call me Anna again and I am going to have you thrown out of an airlock.
Second, get away from there as quickly as you can.

That would be recomforting if a 10% of "boyz" didn't mean about 10.000 different greenskins.

>the crew cheerfully WAAAGHs and krumps a few of the grots
>Then get back to work

>Has reached the tellyporta and begins to try and type something.

>Mutters a few curse words in tau, before getting ready to get out of the hulk.