Dungeons & Dragons

>Vampirism
If you're affected by vampirism, I recommend not worrying about the church and your immortal soul so much as the Camarilla and your immortal ass.

Is those some titties in the background?

A-anyway... My dad's a big Christian conspiracy nut. When I was a kid, I wasn't allowed to own trading cards, play video games, or read fantasy novels.

He also goes on a monthly crusade against a NEW UP AND COMING EVIL THAT SATAN IS CALLING UPON US. Yet, he still watches The Sopranos and HBO shit in private.

Here I am, an grown man who can't even speak to his father. My dad's driven himself to literal madness in his old age, calling everyone's attention to the evils of the world that apparently only he sees coming.

What a fuckin' idiot.

>Twilight films.
Somehow I don't think Satan approved this message.

Remember user. If you're happy and you know it, that's a sin!

You joke but when I was younger my friend's extremely religious mother stole his WoD rule book from him, showed it to her pastor/church group and through a unanimous decision from all of them burned it and made him watch.

What was his reaction? Did he cry, did he just look at them like they were mentally retarded?

>deut 18:9-12
ok lets goto that verse and find out what it says
>When you enter the land the Lord your God is giving you, do not learn to imitate the detestable ways of the nations there. 10 Let no one be found among you who sacrifices their son or daughter in the fire, who practices divination or sorcery, interprets omens, engages in witchcraft, 11 or casts spells, or who is a medium or spiritist or who consults the dead. 12 Anyone who does these things is detestable to the Lord; because of these same detestable practices the Lord your God will drive out those nations before you. 13 You must be blameless before the Lord your God.
looks to me like the bible is telling people not to DO all those things. it is not telling people to pretend/imagine doing those things.

>eph 6:12
>For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
doesnt look like this verse says anything about playing pretend either. i call faggotry on that guy, using his own book.

Ok hold up I had to look up "Rosicrucianism" and this is the fucking page image on the wikipedia page, what in the fucking shit is going on here.

>Did some yoga in high school
>Play Shadowrun, Cyberpunk, and D&D
>Read all the LotR books
>Play loads of vidya
>Love Rock and Metal
>Also a filthy atheist
Welp, I'm Octuple-plus extra damned. And I regret nothing.

He used Domination and make everyone in the room put hand into a fire and watch they flash burn.
%%And then he failed rotschrek roll%%

dude, when i was a kid i went to a fishing tournament and i won 1st place. my prize was the soundtrack to the ninja turtles movie on casette tape. my mom threw it away cuz she thought it was evil.

i fucking hate fundamentalist retard christians.

>user, what did you learn in school today?
>Well actually, that's all bullshit. The government is trying to tell you all that to get your focus off god.
>Come here! Read your bible out loud to your siblings for an hour before you do your homework.
>Now go to bed and say your prayers.

>user, we have church on Saturday afternoons, Sunday mornings and evenings, and Wednesday nights directly after school.
>user! You can't go to the youth service. You are special. You're smarter than the other kids. Stay in the adult service.

>user, your mother found your Lord of the Rings books under your bed.
>You'll have to read extra portions of your bible tonight. I've selected verses that explain why witchcraft and escapism are Satanic. You have to repent in front of the church, tomorrow

>user, I've explained why you can't go to anyone else's house. That boy's family doesn't love god. Don't you love god?

You're implying that most Christians actually READ the bible, instead of just taking passages out of context or repeating what their pastor told them without actually understanding any of it.

Only his mom was present when she burned the book, so it's not like there was a giant crowd or anything.

He pretty much just didn't say anything, then went to his room pissed off and didn't talk to her for a week.

>Thou shalt not build pully operated trumpet castles

Are there such things as support groups for people who grew up in fundamental Christian homes?

Sometimes this shit is hard to deal with. Whenever I have conversations with people about their childhood, I have to explain how I pretty much wasn't allowed to do anything as a kid, and how I was denied medical attention a few times because they would just leave it to their imaginary hugbox to fix my broken knee, and threatened me with damnation whenever I complained.

I once made the mistake of letting my Christian dad try his hand at a video game, (Halo 3 in Forge mode. We weren't even killing each other, just fucking around and tossing explosives around) and he suddenly started screaming "EVIL! THIS IS EVIL!", tore it out of the wall, and slammed it none too gently into a box and locked it up. Ended up breaking the fan and damaging the disc tray.

Specifically what did he consider evil about it? How did he get into the game in the first place? Like, how did that initial convo go?

god damn...
i wasnt allowed to do halloween

There probably are, I've heard of at least one, but the name escapes me at the moment. Think it also was for helping people in "If my family finds out I'm gay/not religious, they'll throw me out on the street or send me to a camp that keeps you prisoner until you're "cured."

How can a game be more evil than God himself burn whole cities, infected people with terrible diseases, makes father sacrifice his own son (and forbids sacrifices to other gods lol), ask father to give his daughters to an angry mob of rapist instead of two his messengers and couple of other deeds i personally dont find "good".

>grants immortality to a killer
>drown everyone who enjoyed life

He wouldn't say, just that it was evil and I'd end up a serial killer if I kept playing it. I was, like, 13 or 15 at the time, so I couldn't really do much or argue with him because he followed the "spank the shit out of disobedient children" model of parenting until I got big enough that I could kick the shit out of him if I wanted.

Oh! Well god "knew" how all of those things would turn out. So that makes it okay!

>A bunch of kids mock one of God's prophets for being bald
>God sends bears to maul them to death at prophet's behest
>Both are still considered to be the "good guys" of this story

I clicked on this thread for the tits.

This man has his priorities in order.

Your dad sounds like a class retard.

If you ever have the dubious honour of producing spawn don't make the same mistake.

Welp, at least I can count on getting an awesome game of D&D going in hell with Tom Cruise and the guys from Manowar some day. Good times.

>rapture comes
>jesus shoots your ass with a silver bullet while everyone else goes to heaven

bullshit

>no Catholicism
Deus Vult

The one that almost got me killed in church was when my 10 year old self almost dismantled the entire building when I asked one simple question.

Keep in mind, at this time I still very much loved god and Jesus. I didn't have any ill intent. I can remember having a truly honest feeling of concern because I couldn't understand.

>Do we have free will?
Yes, god gives us free will to decide good or evil. He grants us freedom.
>Didn't god Harden the Pharaoh's heart? Didn't he make him more hateful?
Well yes. He had to, to prove a point.
>So god knows our hearts and our actions. Why does he let us do evil? Why does he seem disappointed when he already knows what we'll do?
Well, he's god! He can do what he wants!
>That answer doesn't make any sense. I thought we have free will. Is that free will unless he wants us to do specific evils?
The church suddenly false into a dull roar of people talking to one another.

I know this is the mother of all bait here, but LOTR is written by one of the most influencial Christians of the modern era.

And hell, his creation story is literally Christianity+Norse mythology.

I cant really argue with that, actually.
Though i do try my best when a verse does come up to read it in context.
the bible also says you should watch out for people not take "the meaning of dreams" too seriously, so people who have dreams of all the horrible things that can get you a ticket to Hell should take it with a grain of salt.
>Furries will not send you to hell.
that's hilarious.

I'm always really surprised at how poorly most believers know their faith, let alone can defend it. I've seen several people get flabbergasted and angry when someone points out some basic shit in the bible that doesn't really jibe with modern sensibilities. Most of them just tried to say I was tricking them

It's not so much bait, as it is an open subject for discussion.

Yeah, with all the shit that my parents gave me for LotR. When I found that out in highschool, I was almost sick to my stomach.

I had been told my whole life that Tolkien's works were evil, and I had to hide them like some sort of dirty magazine.

the reasoning is that he's Catholic.
hey man, Those question are really heavy stuff, which has been argued sense the Hebrews went to Egypt.
one thing i remember my old church had a sermon about the book of Job, and pointed out that Even the Hebrews didn't blame God for Natural Disasters, to the point of being Heretical.

>Since the Hebrews went to Egypt.
I apologizes, kinda drunk right now.

Man that sucks.
I'm Christian myself and my hardcore christian parents were thankfully obsessed with Tolkien and Lewis.

My first video game was Diablo 2, "As long as I don't play the necromancer."

Druid was acceptable?

>he doesn't know that your DM can teach you real spell if your character has a high enough level
Damn you must have a shit DM.

Hmmm... Wow. Yeah, I never even realized that. Most of the time, whenever there's a natural disaster in the bible it's pretty specific about the language, too. Instead of "God sent a _____" it's like, "Yeah the people were bummed in Faggostahn because there's been a drought for like six months."

Of course, the druid turned into animals and healed the sick, that's a far cry from raising the dead and stealing souls.

those were always good parents.
My Dad was a Devout Mennonite, Mom was a Quaker, and they let me have Pokemon, Digimon, and Castlevania(although i felt bad during Aria of Sorrows because of the Deal with Devil ability.)

Well druid was kinda pagan

The D2 necro did literally nothing wrong. True Neutral, motherfucker.
p.s, night-time Veeky Forums is chill af but I feel like this thread is going to turn into a religious shitshow muh deus vult vs. *tip's fedora* come morning

Yeah, it's always the infallible word of God until you come across something that conflicts with modern morals (slavery, women as property, stoning people to death), then it's something that was added in by a misguided mortal trying to twist God's True Word (but was kept in anyway) or "a product of the time it was written."

You're not alone user. No one believes me when I tell them my parents believe mental illness and sicknesses are demonic possession.

My parents believe witchcraft is a thing. My mother believes animals can talk to her, and my father believes he was abducted by aliens.

I wasn't allowed Halloween, and eventually my dad decided Christmas was a thing we weren't going to do anymore because it's a pagan holiday.

And they wonder why I'm not married and have no intention of having children.

I know, I have this knot in my stomach just thinking about it.
Why is it Veeky Forums of all places that can have civil discussions like this?
I can't even mention God on Facebook without a legion of fedoras pestering me.

Enjoy it while it lasts, my friend.

I don't know about anyone else, but when I browse Veeky Forums at night I try to keep the peace. At least on my end, anyway.

I've had a lot of bad experiences with faith, but I also see how it helps some people. My wife's a Christian, and I understand where a lot of her beliefs stem from.

At least it isn't /x/, it's Fedoras vs DEUS VULT regardless of time there.

>google image search
>It's a Chick tract parody made to advertise the movie Ivy League Exorcist: The Bobby Jindal Story
Damn, I still don't know who is the owner of those boobs

To be fair it's not hard to imagine that when a religion condemns something, it would probably also condemn any glorification of that thing, anything that presents them as something cool and desirable that can be used for good.
People in the modern world seem much more lax about enjoying fiction in which characters we're supposed to like and admire do socially unacceptable things or are bad people, but I'm not sure ancient hardcore Christians would've felt the same way.

>I levitate EVERY DAY
>Firewalk at least once a week
fuck

>I can't even mention God on Facebook without a legion of fedoras pestering me.
Facebook is full of people who don't know what the fuck they are talking about.
Even on Veeky Forums, where people can pull shit out of their ass and claim it as a fact, sometimes you get people who, yes indeed, know something about the topic at hand.
or that may just be me, pulling shit out of my ass.
what about /hist/ last i check it was a cluster-fuck of Protestants/Catholics/ Irreligious/ and everyone else through shit at each other all the time?
one of the bros at the local Game Store is an Athiest, doesn't give me shit about being a Catholic because i don't try to shove my face into everyone else face. try to be their for people but won't go and be an ass about it.
The truth is people are allot less shitty when they are in punching range of each other.

>Be atheist
>Be eating dinner with VERY Christian dad
>He asks me what my thoughts on religion are and heavily implies that me abandoning the religion I was raised with concerns him
>I very politely tell him that I'm willing to respect other's beliefs, even if I don't agree with them, unless they try to force them on me or are harmful to other people
>He surprisingly doesn't lose his shit, despite usually being pretty sensitive about people challenging his views

It means you are weak and you children will not survive the winter!

I'm more surprised that people haven't flipped shit about it right now, though this isn't as Bait-y as the last one that came through.

It seems to me like the majority of the spergs who just come in to post "I don't like [thread topic], and everyone who likes it should eat a dick and die!" are more active during the day.

nah people are sadly used to it.

we live in an age where both hedonists and puritans both revel in society.
and for once I actually hate the puritans.

We should make a weekly general called Veeky Forums After Hours, where we have chill discussions about tabletop gaming, what we've been up to, story time, and always be chill as fuck...

>vegetarianism

Well. I guess if anything on this list was satanic...

Honestly, just make a Veeky Forums general in /trash/, it's a slow board, reletively hidden, and the furries will scare the shitposters away, or at least distract them.

this guy know what's what,
The Chillest fucking board on 4cha., which is surprising, for a furry board.

Actually, I might just make it a server in Discord, and that way we could also set up channels for RP in roll20 if anyone wanted to.

I feel so sorry for you.

Lucky, i thought i'd been clear on my religious views for the last 10 years, and yet 2 months ago my mother started screeching when i wouldn't lead the family in prayer. I don't even know any prayers, and it's not like i've ever been disrespectful.
Apparently she decided that, despite saying otherwise, i MUST CLEARLY believe in god, even if im not a christian.

>necromancy
fuck i was just planning a good old undead army-raising this weekend.

>Postmodernism
I knew it! The art world is saved! Fuck you dadaists!

Now imagine how polite everyone is when inside shooting range.

>Cyberpunk culture

Is there a part in the Bible that goes, "And lo, did the Lord sayeth, WATCH YOUR BACK, SHOOT STRAIGHT, CONSERVE AMMO, AND NEVER, EVER CUT A DEAL WITH A DRAGON"?

>NEVER, EVER CUT A DEAL WITH A DRAGON
Isn't the devil sometimes metaphorically called the dragon?

>Video games and rock music on the same level as fucking necromancy and church of satan
>postmodernism
>cyberpunk culture

That list is just what the fuck man.

>Trust in the LORD with all your heart
>Don the full armor of God
>You shall have no other gods before me
Can't think of any more scripture 2:36 in the morning.

what is this? a batman villain's backstory?

someone pointed out it was a parody.but if it was just a Religous Tract, it would still be funny as hell.

Its not, though. I've seen this particular tract out in the wild

>Lo, the Lord sayeth unto his prophet Fastjack: "Ever keep thine mind about thee and let not thine gaze wander for enemies abound.
>Strike true and be frugal with thine arrows.
>Thou shalt not enter into pacts with the great serpents."

And yet atheists are mocked when they try to stomp out religion. Fucking hell. People would still be dicks without religion but this shit sure isn't helping.

>re-birthing
jokes on you i only like unbirthing!
i also refuse to eat or drink anything with calcium in it so i can take as little part in the "skull & bones" activity

I like to quote Jesus.
"It's easier for a donkey to walk through the eye of a needle than it is for a rich man to get into heaven. Give up your worldly possessions."

No-one's done it yet. Then I get to tell them that they should be a good Christian before telling me to be one.

40k promotes fascism and Catholicism

>backmasking
What?

Going to voice an unpopular opinion. I'm Israeli and I see how religion fucks with people on a daily basis. People try to sell you stories about how this whole enormous clusterfuck is about anything else but in the end if you look closely you notice just about every single faction is divided among theological lines. Even within a given side there are schisms along religious lines. No one is willing to give up on their "holy land". Earth they hold more sacred than human lives. No less than 3 peace deals have been rejected by all involved solely because "muh Jerusalem".

If I talk shit about religion it is not because I'm angry that you're celebrating Christmas instead of masturbating to Richard Dawkins but because there are places where it is legitimately causing people to harm each other.

>ITT people who grew up with awful parents in Georgia or Tennessee
Sucks to be you nerds!
I myself hold a clerical position at my local church, and everyone is chill with me playing 5e and PF with my buds. Plus my Mom, who is a pretty hard Bible thumper, was the one who introduced me to try as she used to play OD&D in the 70s.

I'm sorry the rest of you people were saddled with horrible parents and/or crazy sects and denominations.

>Going to voice an unpopular opinion
>people being assholes to eachother makes them assholes
i dont think you know what an unpopular opinion is

Playing music backwards to look for hidden messages.

I've seen a lot of those guys' ads in old science fiction magazines. Apparently they're explicitly not a religious order (they state that multiple times, often in allcaps), and will share secrets in ancient thinkers and philosophers if you subscribe to their newsletter. Apparently those addd were prominent enough that one of the magazines even featured a story inspired by the idea of them actually being true (a secret organisation tasked with protecting the knowledge of some renesance-era philosopher who came up with half of modern science several centuries early, who recruit exclusively through ads on back of pulp magazines).

Nowadays the pendulum has swung hard enough to the other side that even contrarians deploy the fedora meme at the slightest provocation.

Because for a while there, you saw really aggressive anti-theist types screaming about religion over the slightest provocation, and they've become the face of atheism somehow. Your Dawkins and your Stephen Fry and other outspoken dickholes became the first thing everyone thought of, and people became pre-emptively defensive and pissed off because an attack could come at any moment.
Note: I'm not defending religion here, as such, just saying why I think people are so aggressive when atheism comes up.