Your party is confronted by a dire pelican

>other player: "watch out! That things beak is large enough to swallow you whole!"
>me, sweating profusely, trying hard to hide erection: "you guys go on with out me... I'll hold him off"

Now you made this thread depressing.
Good job.

That's disgusting. You're a sick fuck, user. How dare you disrespect us so poorly as to think we would leave you behind.

We will fight with you to the very end, user. Even though your palms are too sweaty to hold your weapon correctly, we will stand behind you and hold it with you because that's the kind of team we are.

The fuck? Pelicans would eat babies given the chance. Thats a scowl of evil.

Hey now, please form a orderly line on the way to you're doom. Keep your hands and feet inside the ride until its conclusion.

Your fireball explodes on the magical bird with a fiery globe of fire. However before there's time for the smoke to go away the pelican emerges, slightly burned but still quite healthy. He looks reallly pissed off and he's looking at you.

He jumps straight to you and tries to bite you.

forgot to roll

No, pelicans are purely good beings. They prevent the world from the destorying itself due to overpopulation caused by evil storks.

Rolled 16 (1d20)

fucking mobile

Is the dire pelican carrying a dire cod in its dire beak? Because my dire need to dire feed, means twice the dire meat

I can hear music playing to this text.

What is this, a dire pelican for Dire Ants?

Dire music

>"Gods, we can't land a hit on it, it's too fast!"
>"Get out of the way, it's coming right at you!"

10/10 would hire as party bard

I scream, crouch and cover my goddamn face

>I have a vore fetish
This gun be gud

>forgeting pelicans are bros

...

Fucking snitch

Pelicans: Not even once.