What's the most ineffectual character you've ever rolled?

What's the most ineffectual character you've ever rolled?

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half orc druid i guess.

>inEFFectual
>not inTELlectual

oops

That is actually quite a dangerous summoner.
He controls giant ladybugs, which:
>Are completely carnivorous
>Have toxic blood
>Possess moderately strong shells
>Can give a nasty bite
If they can be coerced into attacking a human, they are quite a threat.

I've once played a speshul snowflake Diminutive race in an original setting. And not even a caster, a swashbuckler no less. A tiny Captain Ahab obsessed with tracking down a fish, basically, lorewise. Obviously he couldn't do jack shit in combat but was amusing to play, and helped the party out with stuff like spying or literally slipping through cracks in stonework and the like. Shit was fun

Human commoner, named ____me____.

Half-elf bard with iron manned stats
Str 8, Dex 11, Con 7, Int 16, Wis 9, Cha 12

This was in a dungeon crawl game. I basically hung out in the tavern and acted as an encyclopedia as I was a detriment to have around in a fight.

I once went an entire session as a mage with an almost min-maxed Magic stat without succeeding on a single spell. Ever.

The next session I almost destroyed the village with a critical fail.

My current paladin, this campaign has been going on for two months and I've NEVER HIT ANYTHING

Had a 6 hour session of oWoD werewolf a long time a go, where I did the math afterwards and 40% of ALL my rolls were botches.

I was a fucking weight my group had to carry.

The second character I made. I was playing a very rules-lite narrative game where you basically got to make your own abilities.
I made a mobile glass canon character, but I didn't understand balance back then so the tradeoff for completely dropping all defenses for a round was to deal normal damage, except using a different stat. First fight, used the ability, failed to take down the thing I used it on, got shanked and 1HKO'd.
Since then I've made sure all my characters have decent defenses, if they're not entirely defense focused.

A sorcerer in 5e, first time I cast I had chaotic magic land a fireball on my head killing me instantly.

I played a big city pacifist businessman in a Not!Skyrim setting. GM got mad that I didn't do anything combat-wise. Not sure why he was so mad, I mean he approved the character after all.

An air kineticist who I accidentally forgot to give a real reason to go adventuring. On top of being mostly useless in combat, I've spent most of the time tending to my tea shop and doing business things (trade deals for new, exotic teas, catering events, etc.)
It's an edgy, depressing setting so it gives me an excuse to step away and take a break from the DMs maximum edge-on-rails campaign.

Its over Barry quit bitchen

>not my character but still the most ineffective one I've seen.

Friend rolled a monk who was an 80 year old shepherd and a pacifist with -2 to strength literally did nothing the entire campaign. He didn't care about the character though, he was just there to hang with us until he had to move to NYC so no hard feelings when the GM dropped a 100 foot tall pillar on his head.

Half-elf hexblade/blackguard. Wielding a bastard sword in one hand, and a spiked gauntlet in the other. Fluff and blessed dice rolls were the only things that kept this character going, because he was plain awful mechanically.

Nonetheless, it's still one of my favorite characters, as well as of my friends who played on the same table back then, prolly because I realized that he just sucked at combat and I incorporated that into the roleplay, basically becoming the party's face and strategist since I couldn't do anything else properly.

Seriously, 1d10+1d6+4 damage per hit...

Current game, just a completely mundane guy in a fairly dangerous setting with other characters that utterly outclass him in almost every single way. To be fair though in the setting, humans are just painfully ineffective.

Amazingly my guy has not died yet, but manages to do so mainly by avoiding all combat and constantly fleeing for his life.

"Ha, ha! The whip!
No character I've seen used this thing before!"

Had a character in an All Flesh Must Be Eaten game who was a travelling door to door salesman who had crippling alcoholism, cowardice, and the personal possessions I had on me when the zombie apocalypse hit were a six pack of red bull, a briefcase full of Boxo Pow insta clean and a 3 foot tall novelty stuffed rabbit.

The rest of the party showed up with guns (despite us being in the UK).

Still in the end Jim McCoy had his day when we found out that the zombies were plant based, and the powerful fungicidal properties of Boxo Pow totally made up for the fact that I was mostly dead weight for the first half of the game.

In a D&D 3 campaign that I started in, the DM wanted everyone to do rolls for abilities where he could see them. And classes were 'assigned' before hand (I was okay with that, the reason was the make the guy who plays rogues to stop playing rogues and the like).

I ended up with a Sun Elf Wizard with 14 INT as my highest score. The array was BARELY keep-able by the rules.

Someone else had scores where their lowest was a 15.

pacifict brujah without potence or celerity

Cleric who NEVER rolls above a 2

An optimized Warblade super-charger.

Died in the session he was introduced in because I made extremely poor tactical decisions.

Did you get named honorary Moon Moon?

I guess since oWod it would have been before that meme was a thing, though.

Was his name Cornelius?

A bard with stage fright and mediocre combat skills

One-shot pathfinder. 3d6 down, ended up rolling 3,3,3,4,3,5 before racials. Everyone else rolled decent, so it sort of worked out. Rather comical character though.

No
Alard

Damn. I'm guessing Alard was your character, so I suppose we're terrible clerics in arms

My cleric literally never rolled above a 5 on any of his heal checks, and I was the only healer in the party

I am playing a witch hunter kind of character that use a whip in 5e. Weapon master warrior.

I am doing surprisingly well, honestly

Basically Aquaman, but shittier
GURPS is magical

AllOfUs.jpg

came here to post this
ladybugs are right pricks

The first time i played D&D, i got smack talked because i didn't have 20 CON and only had 15 STR

But they look so gay

I'm gonna go with the meme answer and say
Fighter in 3.5

A friend was running AD&D 2nd ed for nostalgia, I guess. We were rolling 3d6 in order. I managed to roll a 17... in Charisma. And I couldn't become a bard or paladin, because apparently you had to be the fucking Homo Superior to qualify for those classes back in the day. So I was a very charismatic and not particularly bright magic-user. I still wrote and sang songs for the party, since I had to put those nonweapon proficiencies somewhere.

We spent the overwhelming majority of the campaign lost in the woods running from overwhelmingly superior forces. Things would always interrupt us as I was trying to memorize spells (or rather, spell, singular.) Locals were always inexplicably hostile, and I guess just to be a dick the DM had me accidentally offend a whole village by referring to one of their cultural taboos in a song I made up.

I'd say the most useless character I ever rolled was a monk in AD&D2, he had four Hp and was killed by crabmen in his first outing. He was not missed

>He was not missed
No, only hit.

OOOOOOOOOOOOO

Do they?
Even if they are magical ladybugs?

CRAB PEEPLE CRAB PEEPLE

Ranger. Got two 17's and no other stat under 12. The game was Pathfinder.

a kobold fighter named "gribble"

he sucked at everything, and never even got the cinematic nat 20 to redeem himself for the party

he died in like the 3rd dungeon.
he's in kobold heaven now, fucking kobold broads

Gribble you say? Did you ever do pic related in a battle?

>he's in kobold heaven now, fucking kobold broads
>Failed at life
Odds are he's failing at that too user

A Veeky Forums Janitor.

4e Summoner mage

I summoned some stuff, realized it all shares actions in 4e for some reason, and then got killed when i teleported onto another boat.

Spoony's got you covered, becoming a bard in old editions was a nightmare

youtube.com/watch?v=DIuavbDijZM

bimp

So does Heman, but he could still kick your ass.

Some thread on here encouraged me to roll 3d6 in order and I ended up with a dwarven cleric that had no stat above 14. He almost never landed a hit, but one time he defeated an entire room of guards in their barracks after he got caught snooping in there. He convinced the guards he was a wizard, there to put on a show to boost morale. Made some firework effects, fog cloud, moonwalked out the door, and froze the door shut. Fuckers were stuck in there for hours

Fellow kobold here, made a kobold rogue who managed to be knocked unconscious in the first round or two of every combat, but never managed to die. He even passed out once when the stupid orc paladin in the party got overzealous with a hug, while my kobold was at 1hp.