How do you balance your hobbies and your relationship Veeky Forums? Is your partner supportive...

How do you balance your hobbies and your relationship Veeky Forums? Is your partner supportive, or is it a source of tension for you? I'm aware of all the general stereotypes about posting here, but I was just wondering how things work for other people.

>2016
>having relationships
Occasional one night stands with drunk girls/boys are the only way to go.

Exactly the opposite in my opinion. Who is going to make you dinner a fortnight hence, your mom?

>your relationship

>He can't cook
laughing_anime.png

Nope, I can't cook very well at all. All of my thought processing power goes into crafting decks and painting 40k.

Joke's on you, Veeky Forums is my home board.

You literally only need two neurons for that. And one of those is to hold the stepladder.

Hold on. That's a pretty sexy ravioli in a blush sauce. That shit better be meat filled.

i watch dumb shit with her on tv, occasionally good shit, and when she goes to bed, i paint little men. this routine guarantees an army takes 15 years to paint. Stick it out long enough in a relationship, she won't care what you do with your time
pic not related

simple, I have no hobbies and I have no relationships
They balance themselves

I used to hide my power level alot until I took her back to my place one time. I tend to have models out on display and forgot to put them away she thought they were pretty cool but out tastes always collide since she prefers fantasy over scfi.


Also she thought the emperor was jesus and 40k was about Christianity going crazy mad with power.

She dresses up like her character during sex.

She has me dress up like her animal companion

Thats some kinky ranger sex user

Well, the emperor IS Jesus. And Mohammed, and Caesar, and Napoleon, and likely Washington as well.

My wife is very supportive of me and the hobby, surprising me with books many times. She doesnt really have a strong sense of imagination so can't be a strong force in a game, but she has fun playing.

The issue is for over 3 years I have been unable to find a group of even 2 others (making it 3 players and me the GM, because I cant find a DM nearby) that would stick through more than 1-2 game sessions. It always comes down to scheduling. It's extremely depressing to go through all that effort to get everything prepared to have it just.....fizzle....everytime.

I would have probably given up tg stuff almost for good if it wasnt for her, she's kept the spark going (even if she can't get into the imagination zone with me) and has gotten me interested in doing a kickstarter of my campaign setting in book form. I already got 167 pages, so might as well.

She only plays rogues, and is pure murderhobo.

Relationships would only get in the way of my hobbies so I don't bother with them.

Living the dream, lucky cunt

I've had her complain, she enjoys it.
she absolutely hates to the point of gagging fa/tg/uys specially the ones that can't into society. I'm currently trying to get in to a D&D group that is full of normal people that have jobs and families. I've been searching for 7 years now. I play mtg every one central in a while. I will probably sell my collection to pay for our first home 's down paynent.

Unwell, my love of the hobby is quite alive, but my significant other doesn't have any interest.

Everyone in my group goes home to an unhappy girlfriend every friday night because our girlfriends want to spend it with us. We've tried inviting them to play, but none of them enjoy it, and they're too different from each other to get them together for their own game night.

>relationship
c'mon now, you'd expect people on Veeky Forums to have relationships?

Here are my experiences in a nutshell
>ex was a cunt who would go nuts when I'd go to a session, or go along with me and sleep.
>newer ex was cool chick but sjw who played with us, think I violated gaming law dating her.

Word, I love the batchelor life

Not everyone is as helpless as you user, some of us can cook.

>stole her from her
>playing with women
>more specifically playing with lesbians
>more more specifically playing with lesbians involved with each other
>All downhill drama

you're the kind of person that needs the "DO NOT CONSUME" warning on shampoo, aren't you

She's a player in my group. We don't act like douchebags so it's not a problem for the other players (no special treatment, no relationship roleplay etc.)

Seriously if I'm dating a girl and she doesn't like my main hobbies she can fuck right off.

Fiancee hates 40k but is supportive of the hobby side of things. I never get time to really sit down and paint but thats life. We like to act like kids and play with my x wing minis & make noises. She absolutely loathes the card aspect of xwing

>She only plays rogues, and is pure murderhobo.
I was really jealous until that part. I would sperg far too hard, I can't handle chaotic alignments in general, pure murderhobo would quickly summon my smiting stick.

>be degenerate
>Boyfriend plays Tau, I play Eldar
>Play RPGS together, LARP together
>Same taste in anime
>Love the same cartoons
I don't understand why you date people that don't have your same interest.

>your relationship
Speak for yourself, I'm behind seven walls of loneliness.

Here's my story, skip to the tl;dr if you don't want to read a giant greentext:

>been dating my current girlfriend for about 3 years, lived together for two
>always been extremely casual in just about everything, while extremely autistic in one particular hobby
>before I met her it was creative writing, after I met her it was Dragons Dogma and Dark Souls
>two or so years ago I get into magic
>my soul lights up, it's something I love collecting, I love spending money on, and it even helps me get over my crippling social anxiety
>my girlfriend hates it, but after the whole dark souls fiasco, she's was just happy I had a hobby that didn't consist of me getting hate mail 14 hours a day
>she has purchased almost a quarter my collection through sheer pack volume alone
>but she hates magic
>I mean fucking despises it
>I had a friend from work who would come over, drink beers and play commander with me, but she fucking hated him
>she couldn't stand that we were playing an obsessive game that involved us yelling about kalonian hydras and whatnot while she couldn't interact with us
>I invite her to play games all the time, she absolutely refuses, hasn't tried even once
>got on my case about magic getting in the way of my school work
>graduate my post-grad program, even get a 3.737GPA
>but she pressured me into stop hanging out with my friend
>now I have no close friends to play magic with at all
>so I spend all day theory crafting and organizing cards
>and she is super resentful because she invested all this money into my hobby for speculative investing and I have the audacity to take my cards out of my binder and leave them spread over my nook in the living room, which I can understand to a certain extent
>she also consistently tells me how no other girl would put up with my nerdy hobbies and how I should feel privileged to even

tl;dr My life would probably be much easier if I didn't have MTG, but if I didn't have MTG I'd have something even more autistic to obsess about

Ids bretty gud, I think.

We do play some board games/card games at home on easy nights, and my days off when I do head to my FLGS I usually spend the earlier part of the day with her, so it balances out.

I had a date in December!

My girlfriend is also one of my players, so it's a non issue. She understands that GMing requires prep time, and she's happy to fill that time listening to audio books and playing Gems of War.

I have never been able to balance my relationships and hobbies together. Every partner I've had has disliked tabletop in some way, and can't accept that one or two nights a week, I'm going to sit in a room with several fellows and bullshit with them.

Any girl into the hobby I've met has already been in a happy relationship, and ones that aren't have never been that supportive. Such is the curse of living in a small town.

That's some rough shit user, I can't say that I understand dating someone who's tastes are clearly so different to yours. She does sound like a wee bit of a cunt though.

>She also consistently tells me how no other girl would put up with my nerdy hobbies and how I should feel privileged to even
If the genders were reversed the feminist types might call that emotional abuse

my negro

So she hates your hobby, drove away your friends, gets jealous of you spending time on anyone or anything thats not her, and only bought you hobby related stuff in the first place so that she could sell it on later for profit? Why? Just why user?

Thanks user, I just needed someone to listen and I really appreciate it. I think I need to get it out and I was just wondering if that sort of thing was normal by virtue of having socially unacceptable hobbies. It's just embarrassing because I'm a tall, good looking, well educated guy with a debilitating mental illness, so I have difficulty distinguishing reality from delusion. Think a 12 year old that has a background in high-concept "philosophical" theory. I just don't know if there is anything better, because I would regret giving up what I have and winding up worse off.

That's... pretty accurate. Fuck, cuts like a knife when you read it put so succinctly. I guess it's because we have cats, even though I know that's not a good reason.

The sad thing about this is that you could input literally any hobby into this and it wouldnt change a thing. Like music collection, gun collection, art collection, etc. Unless you have a good reason for staying with her, I suggest you dump that bitch before she becomes your wife. And no, sex isnt a good reason.

>relationship

27, dated one person, was meh. Sex is great, but grills by and large don't care a whole lot about my hobbies, and what they do with their time bores the shit out of me. I've come to just expect to live life solo. A good relationship would be awesome, but anything less isn't worth the time. For me anyways.

That's kind of fookin hot

My girlfriend is fine with it, I tend to do one session a week (on a break for now between campaigns). She knows it's a hobby of mine and she wouldn't make it an argument unless I really overstepped the boundries and was playing a game on a date night or something. All's good.

I kinda feel you user, my girl is similar.

But one main difference is, I talked her into actually play a game and another and another and suddenly she can relate to things going on, so she feels included.

Talk her into playing something thats easy for her to relate to as a person, then start finding bridges between what you like and that.

The it'll be easy for her to give the things you want to, a go.

Girls are not so hard to figure out.

I haven't had a gf in six years. The last one was manipulative borderline disorder sort. She would rage if I invited people over for Veeky Forums or /v/, but at least she was into /k/ and would come shooting shit with me. I guess that is something.

She has me running a game for her and her friends. We're both players in another friends game.

>Got GF into anime
She's more of a weeb than me, now

>Got GF into 40krpg
She loves to hear me tell stories and participate

>Got GF into Magic
She gets more exited/upset than me to play or when we're playing

she's super into DDLG so I guess it's cool my hobbies are essentially cartoons, small toys and pretend

My partner plays in one of my games. They're fairly new to the whole thing, but approach the game with enthusiasm and joy. I'm happy she's really enjoying herself along with my friends because...

>Friend A
His girlfriend tried and would just sit there in utter silence. Would never try the whole 'role play' thing and ignore people trying to interact with her or give her suggestions. Combat was "I stab that guy". She gave it about two months before quitting. When she left, we were overjoyed that the anchor was dropped and we could all get back to enjoying ourselves as normal.

>Friend B
Wife hates the hobby and hates every single one of us with a passion and I swear she's actively tries to stop one of my players from turning up with her clockwork anxiety attacks and general bitching. She's a cunt anyway and we all know that so fuck her.

You just put premade ravioli on boiling water then added some premade sauce and cheese. How is that cooking? How is that any different than making instant noodle ?

My girlfriend is awesome about it, we jsut have an adult relationship and she ignores the fact that I'm slowly covering every surface in the place with little spaceships.

She's interested in RPGs but can't commit to a regular slot. We both play Magic and are roughly as good as each other and I'm working on getting her to try a wargame.

>she thought the emperor was jesus and 40k was about Christianity going crazy mad with power.

Honestly if she's christian she should recognise the Horus Heresy, it's just a reskin of Lucifer's rebellion against god.

>after the whole dark souls fiasco, she's was just happy I had a hobby that didn't consist of me getting hate mail 14 hours a day
How did playing Dark Souls get you hate mail? What?

This is the worst thread I've ever seen you all need to leave and never come back

T. Lonely Asshole

>relationships
>partner

I don't understand people who hate particular hobbies.

I mean, why do you care at all?

If you're not being forced to do it, why be concerned?

Would you be happier if he were playing poker?

Is he not supposed to play any games at all?

It's what happens when you kill someone in PvP and they get butthurt.

Hate mail, in this particular instance, refers to angry messages sent by other players in response to the way I was playing the game. Quite often in dark souls 1 on ps3 people will become enraged and send you messages along the lines of "no honor fgt try that again" or "your a dirty cumpirate for using that gear". I have collected around 200-300 of these messages.

Now, with regards to the dark souls fiasco, I was playing non stop every single day. I woke up, played dark souls, ate while playing dark souls, and only paused to go to the washroom and sleep for 5-6 hours. The quest for hate mail almost consumed my entire life, and it got to the point where I attempted to dramatically snap the disk, only to realize that blu-rays don't snap, they just bend rather anticlimatically. I recently bought a new copy of dark souls and I'm having fun, but it was a major issue in my life.

I had a date when I was 18.

It went horribly.

I am now 26.

I understand hating particular hobbies based purely on aesthetic or enjoyment, but that's it.
Like, my mother is into the worst gangster rap. She listens to it all the time. But we're both adults, and acknowledge I don't have to like the thing she likes.
Instead we listen to electric shit and classic rock when together, as we can agree on it.

Been on one awful date, still kv at age 21, so it doesn't really matter what girls think of me playing DnD because I'll never lay one anyway.

Most guys I meet are kinda supportive of it though.

My wife isn't interested in tabletop gaming, but she's a connect for people who are. She had friends at work who dig it, and I'm a Forever GM anyway. I've gotten people onto D&D Fifth, Savage Worlds, and Numenera, and acquired two new players for our VtR game.

When our daughter was born she was against having games at our house, because she didn't want a bunch of people being loud for hours on end.

Last BF is still part of my gaming group
Last BF before that ended up being "that guy" had to give up gaming until we ended the relationship because he was so annoying to play with.

Now no BF because I only interact with people I game with who I'm not attracted to or people I work with who are usually female normalfags with no similar interests.

I don't like how the spider has a person-mouth and the person has a spider-mouth.

Bullshit. If this is not fake dump that bitch.
If you're not spending the rent money on cars or anything you should be fine.

The only thing I find concerning in there is "Leaving card spread out all over" because they're easy to knock over and lose/damage.

I don't play magic and I used to buy cards for one of my exes as presents all the time.

It's not normal for a woman to isolate you from your friends or constantly tell you no one else would put up with your fairly harmless quirks. You might even want to look up emotional abuse red flags. Like I don't know enough about your GF to make that call, but I'm concerned about this a bit. Take care of yourself, user.

Being mentally ill doesn't mean you should expect women to treat you like shit. It sounds like you already kind of know that. There is someone out there who will date you and be fine with you having a magic obsession. I promise.

That looks like a homemade sauce to me. I could be wrong though.

>It's not normal for a woman to isolate you from your friends or constantly tell you no one else would put up with your fairly harmless quirks

That sounds like normal women to me

The only context where that's normal is if you THINK something is a harmless quirk but it isn't. Like I've seen some people try to justify some really toxic shit. Your GF will probably get on your ass a bit if you don't ever wash dishes or you piss into bottles next to your desk, or play games with the sound turned up really loud at 3am or don't pay for your own groceries. So would anyone who lived with you. It's even normal for you and your GF to argue or for it to somewhat relate to both of your bad habits. But what user is describing sounds really messed up unless there is something he's not telling us.

Holy fuck user... I'm in an abusive relationship. I read some 30 signs of emotional abuse and she does the vast majority of them. I don't really know what to say or what to do or even who to talk to about it. I'm just embarrassed and feel so emasculated.

Like I know this isn't my personal blog, but idgaf, I'm sharing what happened last night anyways:

>wake up and my girlfriend is in a piss poor mood, a bunch of bad things happen to her like a broken pooper scooper
>she's still mad from the night before for not kicking my friend out fast enough, even though she invited him over and I was happy to have him stay
>she's even madder that my brother came up this weekend and I didn't warn her, which she moped through even though I gave her a week's notice
>I go way out of my way to take her to Mr. Sub for lunch, even though she complained about it the whole time
>she wanted to go get wool, or to go down town and get one of those pop vinyl figures
>I didn't particularly want to drive to two different places anywhere else so she pouted the whole time and I eventually did it to appease her
>afterwards we come home and she specifically forces me to watch teen mom 2, I can't look at magic cards, I can't be on my phone, and in order to watch it, both the tv and the computer are required
>I tell her multiple times that I hate that show and I have no interest in watching it
>she just pouts and complains so we wind up watching it
>later on that night we're in the middle of watching the revenant
>we're running out of weed, wants me to text our friend to come over
>but doesn't want him to come over for too long and wants him only to stay for an hour
>and I have to kick him out
>I have problems saying no to people, so I tell her I don't feel comfortable manipulating my friend for drugs
>then she looses her mind, starts screaming at me, then goes completely silent before stalking off to the other room
(cont)

Relationships and nerdy hobbies repulse each other. Since women love Alpha males and nerdy hobbies are the realm of beta males, playing them even if you are alpha in other areas will mark you as beta in her eyes. She will cheat on you.

No relationship is better than a bad relationship, user. And what you have sounds like a bad relationship. Honestly her disliking your hobby wouldn't be that big, but telling you that nobody else would want you sets off all kinds of alarm bells.

>I go over to see if she's alright, she basically ignores and insults me while I try my best to explain that I felt bullied and didn't want to do it
>every time I try to explain something she talks over me
>every argument always devolves to me sitting and taking verbal abuse for 2 hours until she wears out
>eventually things escalated to the point where she's in my face yelling about every past fight we've ever had and some grand philosophical problem in our relationship
>meticulously brings up every stupid thing I've said in every fight we've had over the past 3 years
>to this point I'm as calm and collected as could be expected
>she starts talking about how she can't be in a relationship like this and how I never put myself in her position because I'm just selfish and inconsiderate
>gets to the point where I can't take it anymore, and my mental illness kicks in
>I completely sperg out, even after taking a couple of walks, yelling screaming, crying, slamming doors and I'm extremely embarrassed about it
>I spent last night locked in the spare room, where I usually sleep, crying myself to sleep
>all I wanted was to go to work this morning and come home, then buy eternal masters
>she waits until she has to leave for work before, in the snarkiest voice possible, saying "oh I guess this is just how it's going to be" and stomping off
>I try to talk to her, but I'm so overloaded I'm just crying, desperately trying to find my anti anxiety medication and trying to make coherent sentences
>wind up driving her to work in silence

The worst part is, I looked up this "gaslighing" thing and she does it all the time where she blatantly lies then berates me into believing whatever she had to say... I'm pretty distraught anons. I made this thread last night desperately trying to get help...

Why on Earth are you still with this cunt?
Dump her arse.

>she starts talking about how she can't be in a relationship like this
Next time she says this? Call her on it. Say, "Me neither," or "I guess not."

Break it off, user. If everything you're telling us is to-the-letter true, you should probably just break up. If it's not all true, the gaslighting alone is fucked up enough to break up over. If none of it is true, the very fact that you're posting about it seems like an indication to me that you feel as though this relationship is already over. Break it off, and don't let her guilt-trip you. There's no point in staying together if it only results in suffering for both of you.

You have a job, right? Do you pay for your place or does she?

I think it's time to leave, user. Start making your escape plan. I know it's easier to just stay with something even when it's not working but you'll be happier with no one bullying you and you can spend time with your friends and maybe get a new gf that won't be horrible to you. It might be that she's just mentally ill herself or that she's immature, or it might be that she's doing it on purpose but it doesn't matter if this is hurting you.

I need to get out, but it's hard and I don't know what to do. I actually need to go pick her up from work or things are going to get much worse. Thank you anons, thank you for being honest and objective with me. I know I'm clearly emotional about it, so I tried to edit out as much vitriol as I could, but you're all right. I don't need this, and as much as my job is shit, I recently graduated from a prestigious program among the top in my class. I need to get out and I need to find out how. I'm just so embarrassed because I come off as a big, charming, confident guy, when in reality I'm a self-multiating mess. Thanks again anons, sorry for blog posting.

I take offense at that suggestion, user.

>Ravioli Dough
2 cups semolina flour
1.5 cups white flour
2 eggs
0.5 cups white wine
1 tsp salt

>Stuffing
1.5 lbs cooked meat of your choice, ground or shredded
2 cloves garlic, crushed
0.25 cups minced onion
0.25 cups grated Parmesan
1 egg
Splash of cream
1 tbsp herbs of choice
1 tsp salt
Cook onion in olive oil until soft, add garlic and cook a minute, add the rest and cook until Parmesan melts. Add a little flour if mixture is too wet.

>Sauce
1 white onion, diced
4 cloves of garlic, crushed
28oz can of crushed tomatoes
1 cup cream
1 tbsp sugar
3 tbsp fresh basil, finely cut
Salt and pepper to taste
0.5 cups white wine
1 slice of bacon, diced
Cook bacon until rendered. Add onion and cook until translucent. Add garlic and cook a minute. Add tomatoes wine & sugar, cook for an hour over low heat. Add the rest of the ingredients, cook for a couple minutes and adjust salt/pepper to taste.

After you've done all that shit, put the dough through a pasta press to get sheets, and form the ravioli. Cook in boiling water for a few minutes (you've got to judge this yourself), then serve with the sauce.

If this user is single there is no hope for any of us.
But I'm trying that ravioli recipe.

Everyone is kind of a mess. Things will get better.

Girlfriend doesn't like it. Said making more money should be my hobby.

My girlfriend works out with me, plays chess with me and watches my RPGs as I DM- she provides too as im between jobs so its a pretty sweet gig

Because for the most part, trhe majority of women DONT HAVE HOBBIES. Going to the gym and jogging or starting up a fad diet is not a hobby.

It's not enough that I play football and a pretty decent cook (for a while she hated me playing football).

If you aren't doing something that is 100% focussed on them they are instantly threatened by it. Women aren't creative in the slightest.

You may find that the sauce is too chunky, depending on which brand of tomatoes you buy.

You can always fix that with an immersion blender, or you may prefer to use one 14.5 ounce can of crushed and one 14.5 ounce can of puree.

>got my gf into warhammer, picked space corgis in 40k, reasoning being "they have cute wolves" and skaven in fantasy because they were cute too
>she's now played for about 2 years and rarely loses to me anymore
>hates to lose though, always gets super melancholic when the dice go wrong but is like the goddess of happiness when they don't

And in turn, she got me into RPGs. Now currently building a Runequest 6 campaign for us and our mutual friends to play in.

Guess I am pretty lucky.

GF basically breaks down whenever I don't GM for her in any given week. Our relation is basically based on that she has the most boring job and planning what her character is supposed to do in the worlds I make is how she gets through the day.

If we don't game our relationship basically amounts to me cooking food. She cleaning. Talking to the cat. Going to work. Sleep. Repeat as necessary.

We both play computers, but she only started recently and I can basically not play unless doing it on nightmare level difficulties. I get bored and cranky, while she's having trouble using both her hands during play.

She's adorable, way to pretty for me and is the city champion of poledancing. But our shared hobbies are basically me trying my very damndest to keep her happy. She will never GM for me, she will never keep up with my in games or introduce me to new ones or the like.

Is it a source of tension? yes, because she's a filthy casual and I long for the times I could play a multiplayer game without reading Veeky Forums on the side while she's going through her inventory or playing instead of GMing.
But she does share my hobbies and writes backstories and adds to the setting like no one else. I love her.

I like to imagine I'm pretty chill to play with. And my group is good too. My gender feels pleasantly irrelevant as it should in a game.

>staying in abusive controlling relationships

Why?

Fuck off whore

Has anyone ever noticed they switched mouths?

>I like to imagine

this is the key part of what you said. it's only a matter of time before you start drama sorry

There is something better senpai. There are good people who don't abuse you or take advantage of you because of your disability.

We'll see. So far the closest I get to drama is dropping aoes centred on our meat shield.

Thank you user.
I'll try it someday.

If you've EVER had a relationship you are a BAD role player and will never be good

What if you roleplay a character who is in a relationship?

You knew you were going to get vitriol, right?

I worry I am secretly this. When I was with my ex he made a lot of my characters but he often did it for the whole party because he's Mr Minmax. But I did a lot of backstory and "face" stuff for our party that no one else wanted to do, and GM'ed occasionally. But also we had other stuff in common that I was better at like I did most of the cooking and was always recommending books for him to read or reading books he liked. Our only nerdy source of tension was that he always wanted me to play video games I knew myself to be really bad at with him, so I felt like the load and didn't want to play.

Even when I look at most hobbies I've had or that other girls I know have, most of them are designed to be cheap or useful like knitting, drawing, reading, growing houseplants, etc. The only really expensive hobby I know that's popular with girls is cosplay.

I'm not sure why that is but I always hear women going "UGH too expensive!" while men seem to feel more okay about taking up expensive hobbies or things that take up a lot of space and time.

What if I faked the whole things, as a roleplay exercise?