Imperium

>Imperium
Fascist hellhole where you get shot for stupid shit, have to worry about getting your ass invaded by space orcs, space elves, space demons, and space bugs.

>Eldar
Dying race that gets eaten by demons on a daily basis.

>Tyranid
Mindless space bugs, no individuality.

>Necron
You're a skeleton, whoop-de-fucking-doo.

>Chaos
Infinite pleasure and happiness. Or alternatively, conditioned into enjoying the universe's torment and suffering. If you do a good job, you'll get to become an immortal daemon. Has gods and leaders that actually give a shit about you and give you cool gifts if you prove yourself to them.


Why haven't you devoted yourself to the path of chaos, Veeky Forums?

Because I don't want my soul to be buttfucked up the ass in a six dimensional fashion.

Also because I refuse to become the slave of some creature that has the gall to call itself a god when it truly is nothing more then the psychic manifestation of an obscenely large amount of certain emotions.

I will not bend the knee to the psychic equivalent of a ball of shit that has congealed inside of a fetid sewer.

>infinite pleasure and happiness
Horrific mutations and numbness to all that is.

I have actually.

I worship Nurgle, and Nurgle only.

this nigga gets it

Because I'm not a FUCKING disgusting Heretic and killing xenos and heretics like you is the only thing that gives me sexual satisfaction anymore.

Because there is nothing in your post that is remotely true.

>being a no-balls space marine instead of imperial guard
You fucked up, friend.

> Then the prophet spake: saying "Frak this, for my faith is a shield proof against your blandishments".

>and give you cool gifts
can chaos give me a grav gun

No, but we can give you a hand held autocannon!

>No
well then chaos isn't getting my vote

>Infinite pleasure and happiness
You mean suffering and misery, for 99.9999999% of its "victims," who are indistinguishable from its followers, and sheer delusion for the slim remainder? Chaos are scum, and of those who swear themselves to them only the barest fraction will be anything more than cultists to be fed into the meat grinder (figuratively or literally) to serve the ends of their masters.

In the Imperium is shit, but it's shit BECAUSE of Chaos and these other caustic elements of the universe.

>Cultists to be fed into the meat grinder (figuratively or literally) to serve the ends of their masters

Nah. Is much easier to kill shit for Khorne. You don't even have to join nothing, jus start blowin shit up.

But hey, I'm justah Ork, what do I know?

>some creature that has the gall to call itself a god

Mortals call them gods. In truth the Dark Brothers are greater than any mortal god.

BECUZ MORK>GORK>ORKZ>>>>>>>>>>GROTZ>BIG HUMIE>HUMIE>DAFT CHAOS GOD OF MUKKIN ABOUT

>infinite pleasure and happiness.
So eternally being extra pissed off, or catatonically depressed, or forever chasing the dragon, or be scheming forever because Tzeentch never ever lets his followers get what they want because then they stop scheming, is somehow "infinite pleasure and happiness"?

Is this even the same chaos we're talking about?

Tau

>Chaos
>mfw

>not old ones

ASSEMBLE FROGS AND SCALIES

DATZ NOT RIGHT YEW GIT!!!

IT GOEZ:
GORK>MORK>ORKZ>>>>>>>>>>GROTZ>BIG HUMIE>HUMIE>DAFT CHAOS GOD OF MUKKIN ABOUT

That's Slaanesh's fetish.

Is there anything that isn't her fetish?

Consensual sex in the missionary position.

Actually a legit answer too because it'd be too plain

The IRS.

Windows 10.

>Because I don't want my soul to be buttfucked up the ass in a six dimensional fashion.
I'm not big on WH40K lore, but doesn't that happen regardless?

There really isn't that much lore on what happens to loyalists after they die.
Perhaps emps is really a god at this point, and has a sort of "heaven" for his followers.
Perhaps everyone gets buttfucked in the end.
Perhaps all souls disapeer, becoming one with the warp. Though given stuff like saints, the LotD, and that one freeblade knight, that's unlikely.

We just don't know.