Magic: the Gathering Wednesday Flavor General - Justified Anger Edition

>You are a planeswalker.
>In the vast Multiverse, only you and some other chucklefucks know of the countless worlds beyond your own.

Welcome to the Magic: the Gathering Flavor General thread!

Helpful links:
>Uncharted Realms Archive
magic.wizards.com/en/articles/columns/uncharted-realms

>Planeswalker's Guides
ARCHIVE pastebin.com/Ttgtz6A9

>Set Trailers
pastebin.com/ayJntkE0

>Current Status of Planeswalkers:
2014: magic.wizards.com/en/articles/archive/checking-planeswalkers-2014-06-16
2015: magic.wizards.com/en/articles/archive/feature/checking-planeswalkers-2015-2015-08-19

>Doug Beyer's Tumblr
dougbeyermtg.tumblr.com/

Reminder: Keep bait, shitposting, and arguments to a minimum--try to focus on lore discussion. Ignore chandere posts.

This week's Magic Story is "Stone and Blood" by Kelly Digges.

magic.wizards.com/en/articles/archive/magic-story/stone-and-blood-2016-06-15

>That story
OH BOY HERE WE GO

Finally,

idiots can no longer claim Naihir wasn't in the helvault.

>Nahiri decides the world is fucked and goes on a revenge spree
>4 nobodies manage to save the plane
she's going to join the gatewatch out of thanks isn't she? and wow she is really dumb and doesn't seem to get Sorin if she thinks he wanted her to prove herself.

>Sorin is a dick and my world was fucked up, this justifies destroying his world and the suffering of everyone on it.

Nahiri is just as dumb and childish as he is.

Naw, she's going to finally find out that Zendikar is safe just after unleashing a multiplanar level threat

Fucking hell Wizards, all that text and so little information. The helavault thing would have at least been a nice twist if Maro didn't let it slip weeks ago.

Seems like an issue with all Planeswalkers. The only ones who aren't are Ugin and Bolas, and that's mostly because they're just asshole dragons.

>Nahiri's fw she just fucked a plane for no good reason

Or if it wasn't already completely obvious.

Ugin and Bolas are like the biggest dicks in the multiverse.

Basically this.
Sorin and Nahiri might make up if Nahiri comes to her senses and Sorin gets over the whole daughterfu killing ordeal
>Nahiri believed that Zendikar was doomed
>Literally a year later and some chucklefucks saved it and are rebuilding already
All in all this fucking confirms the fact that oldwalkers are pants-on-head retarded

>Hfw she realizes not only did she fuck up Innistrad but most likely doomed Zendikar again

I don't see him getting over that, he's lost his Angel, his home/family and his plane is about to be nommed by the spaghetti monster. If he forgives her it will be retarded, he's called 'Grim Nemesis' for a reason. He's fucking pissed.

>oldwalkers are pants-on-head retarded
what Multiplanar threats are left? Bolas, Phyrexia, Eldrazi? It has to be one of those

As Always: Sorin did nothing wrong

>Sorin
>getting over anything

He is the master of grudges and if Nahiri doesn't shove a sword in his gut before she finds out Zendikar is safe, Sorin will definitely do the gutting to her at some point.

>He is the master of grudges
Urza and Yawgmoth would like to have a word with you.

#TeamNahiri

I'd like to think that Nahiri is trying to prep Innistrad for a Phyrexian invasion but I know it's probably Emrakul

Both are dead mate, Sorin is still standing.

its going to be emerakul.

I really can't think of any thing to suggest it isn't.

This is grasping, but.......


>Moon of Metal
>Nahiri creating metal spires all over the plane
>pic related

Wizards practically confirmed it with that one article where they point out tentacles the whole time in the artwork.

>see that fucked up architecture? Corruption!

You could not spell it out any harder, it's so obviously Marit Lage

>Implying it isn't going to be all three

>Sorin is an autistic asshole, surprising nobody
>Nahiri is a childish asshole, surprising nobody

Fucking Oldwalkers. The Mending was long overdue.

>yfw the First Partition of Innistrad

Ugin is absolutely a dick. He's just more subtle about it than Bolas is.

>yfw driving Avacyn mad and getting Sorin to kill her was a mercy killing on Nahiri's part
>yfw Nahiri did nothing wrong.

Honestly, as much of an overreaction as Nahiri is having, fuck Sorin here, I'm on her side if I have to pick one. But I'd rather pick the side of "fuck this shit, you're both morons".

A mercy killing? Fight me mate.

For normal people, it might be an overreaction, but for planeswalkers and oldwalkers at that, I don't think so.
Sorin imprisoned her the Helvault for a shit long time, forcing her to recreate Zendikar in painstaking detail to not go mad. She gets out and goes back to her home after finding out she was powered down. When she gets there, the Eldrazi have been freed, tearing across Zendikar, and have wiped out at least one continent.
So she lithomances her way to Zendikar, and yeah
Bala Ged is kill, leading her to the realization that the Zendikar she spent all those years in her mind nurturing and creating is flat out gone, destroyed, because Sorin wanted to keep his plane safe from Nahiri instead of taking a road trip to Zendikar to check on the locks.
She could have resealed the lock on the eye
she could have been like "No Nissa, that's dumb"
But now, all she sacrificed for, all Zendikar sacrificed for is shit as far as she knows because a certain dragon told her that the Eldrazi couldn't be destroyed, and she didn't have the means to trap them again.

This entire mess exists because of Sorin can't communicate for shit and Nahiri couldn't be be the bigger wizard and planeswalk away.

>Nahiri can't be the bigger wizard and planeswalk away
partially because he shoved her in his extra dimensional closet.

>"Not now," said Sorin, with infuriating calm. "Later, perhaps. This is a critical time—"

>"Go home, Nahiri," he said wearily. "End this farce, and I will allow you—"

>"I never asked for your trust, child. Only your obedience."

He made all his points clear, he offered a truce and all. she just didn't wanted to listen

>Hey, let's make an alliance to protect our planes
>Sounds good
>WTF Man, you didn't hold up your end and now my plane is fucked
>Oh well, let's call it even.

You are trying to tell a millenia old vampire what to do? thats gonna end bad

The plane wasn't fucked at that point, she sealed them away again and shit was all good. She is just being a spoiled brat.

How is it an over reaction. Naihiri was basically coerced into using her home plane to house planar destroying threats "for the good of the multiverse" with the promise should the need arise they will come to her aid to prevent the Eldrazi from escaping.


When that happens and neither shows, she goes to find out why. The reason (for sorin) is basically "piss off, my plane is protected"

Her biggest mistake was trying to force Sorin to assist, but she gets locked up in the helvault for her troubles. All of this leads to the release of the eldrazi and destruction of basically all of Zendikar. Which is what Sorin and Ugin said they were going to help prevent.


Sorin really isn't in the right here. His plane isn't housing the Titans. If you flipped the scenario could you imagine how angry Sorin would be if Nahiri and Ugin didn't show up to help his plane?

So almost immediately after Avacyn Restored ends, events are already near the ass end of BFZ's plot?

To be fair to Nahiri, she figured that if she walked home without showing Sorin who was boss, she figured that Sorin would permanently be her enemy and that he'd later take the opportunity to fuck her shit up for her trangression on Innistrad.

>expecting someone to fulfill their end of the promise that you effectively gave up your life beyond one plane for is being a spoiled brat.
Serena go and stay go

No, because ulamog was still in Bala ged and hadn't hit the road yet.

>He is the master of grudges and if Nahiri doesn't shove a sword in his gut before she finds out Zendikar is safe, Sorin will definitely do the gutting to her at some point.

>Implying once they find out the Jacetice League killed TWO TITANS IN JUST TWO WEEKS OF WORK, and Ugin probably knew they could do that, they aren't going to flip shit and go murder the dragon together.
>All according to Bolas's keikaku

>Expecting something of someone
This is where your argument goes wrong

Maybe, but we don act on what wold have done him if... Nahiri just needed to planeswalk away and everything would have been good. she just wanted to fancy how she was now more powerful that him, and that was shown in the article.(and that is taking in account that he just didn't vindicated her ass up just because he was tired)

Fuck Sorin and his shitty world. Justice for Nahiri.

Wasn't me mate. I'm playing Overwatch.

>Nahiri just needed to planeswalk away and everything would have been good


Would it though? Sorin already proved he didn't particularly care about Nahiri, or Zendikar. Who knows if he would have actually come to help

God damn gay sparkly vampire faggot.

Nahiri has every right to tear him and his plane a new asshole.

tl:dr
Nahiri: "yo dude, long time no see. I lit the homing beacon and you never showed, but it's cool I handled it because I'm a boss like you now"
Sorin: "Oh, my phone was on silent because of this Helvault and stuff that I built to protect my plane. Guess it really did its job after all."
N: "So you blocked my number?"
S: "Nah, I blocked everybody's number. Ain't got time for other people's problems"
N: "not cool man. Just come with me to check on it real quick and we'll be cool, tho."
S: "Too tired, go bug Ugin."
Nahiri starts a fight to establish dominance
N: "Notice me senpai, I'm as strong as you now"
S: "w/e. Avacyn got this"
More scuffling, Sorin calls time out
S: "go to your room. BTW the Helvault is your room now."
N: "You'll pay for this!"
Cue millenia of totally-not-going-crazy
Helvault Breaks
N: "What's this blood crap coming out of me, and why am I so basic again?"
'walks to Zendikar
N: "Shit, Ulamog is out. Guess Zendikar is toast. Better go revenge on Sorin instead of trying to help or anything."

correct me if i am wrong

>She alone resealed the hedrons
>She would have been there to prevent nissa's stupidity

It would have never gone wrong

I want this only because it's the only threat we know is nearly impossible to beat and because I really want to see Vampires, Werewolves and Humans fight together against Phyrexians.


Plus those sweet sweet flip cards where one side is normal and the other side is a compleated version of the front

>Nahiri just needed to planeswalk away and everything would have been good.
No it wouldn't. Sorin had still broken his word. He made a promise. He broke his promise. And he didn't even have a particularly reasonable excuse.

Saying "well, Nahiri just needed to planeswalk away" is literally the same as "well, Sorin just needed to take a five minute trip to Zendikar" in this scenario.

After the mending we have no idea if she could single handily seal everything like she did the first time the seals broke.

Sorin was tired and couldn't do shit. it would've been futile.

Was talking about childish. They're definitely assholes.

>Phyrexia
>Nearly impossible to beat

You are not wrong but I don't get what you are trying to get across with it.

So fucking what? He's an Oldwalker, he can handle a short jaunt to double-check some wards.

>Nahiri fell to her knees, pressing her hands into that lifeless dust.
>If this was loose on her world—
>If what happened here could happen everywhere—
>If she had no preparations, a thin shard of her old power, and a hedron network centuries out of true—
>Then the Zendikar she knew was dead. There was no saving it. One might as well try to stop the sun in the sky.

It's certainly implied that she wouldn't be able to reseal them anyway. She might have been able to re-lock the final ward that Sorin failed to do when Nissa decided the Eldrazi might just leave, but that's no different to Sorin himself.

Or if she'd even be alive

>friend shows up at your house because you were supposed to meet up
>you just finished giving birth twice and can barely even stand
>tell friend to leave you alone because you really can't be arsed to go out now
>repeatably tell him to just fuck off and don't be such a bitch about it instead of explaining what you just finished doing and asking him to just go out the next day
>even locking your friend up in your garden shed for a few months because he wouldn't leave you alone
>expecting things to not be FUBAR

>But the league of friendship can
The argument is invalid

It certainly wouldn't have hurt. Sorin presumably had a way to fix it, and Nahiri wouldn't have needed Nissa.

Only Oldwalkers had infinite lifespans, right?

Does that mean that Nahiri can now, since the Mending took her everything, die of old age?

Reminder that Nahiri wouldn't even be alive to affect Zendikar so her being locked up in the Helvault is irrelevant.

Yes

Yes, she'll age as any Kor would. I don't know how much we know about their lifespans, though. She could use some method of immortality, if she can find or develop one.

>inb4 Nahiri ends up as one of the good guys in Eldritch Moon and the Friendship League makes a deal with her to help her kill Sorin for his shit, then kill Emrakul together

And this Boys and Girls teach us is why you shouldn't use Wisdom and Charisma has dump stats.

>Implying Sorin's the bad guy
>Implying Sorin and Nahiri won't join the Jacetice League as the angsty dad and hothead who fucks things up

Screw you, I'm doing perfetly fine with my 7 points in both so far!

He is rapidly becoming my favorite living oldwalker.

He may be an asshole, but hot damn is he better and more sensible than these other chucklefucks.

If they kill off Sorin I will be sad

If they do, it'll hopefully be in an anime-as-fuck sword clashing draw where both he and Nahiri die.

>the Titans are beyond measure and hope like the cosmic horrors they are
>except for when the Jaceketeers 2 birds 1 stone this shit lol

That art is too cute. CUTE!

If one of them has to die they should both die, they're equally as responsible for this shitshow.

>"I never threatened you," he said, looking up at her. "Not once. If we are to be enemies, child, the blame falls solely at your own feet."

>Another being grievously wronged by Sorin Markov, one with no chance of vengeance or redress. No chance of freedom. A porcelain doll, to replace the student he had lost.

She was just jealous of Avacyn getting her place

She might have been alive
Also, there is the whole trapped in inky blackness

>helvault turned nahiri into a basic bitch
kek

She didn't exactly give him the opportunity to explain why he was fucking busy. He didn't say he wouldn't go to zendikar, he just said not right now. He was fucking busy.

Yeah, part of their decision to write Avacyn with as little personality as possible means there's no real reason to have her actually interact with things or explore what could have been a fairly interesting dynamic with both Sorin and Nahiri.

So they just share a look, and Nahiri feels zero guilt about driving her insane and making her murder the people she exists to protect purely in hopes it will make Sorin feel bad.

Too bad he's pretty much guaranteed to die in EM

The real issue is how schizophrenic they are with how she's written, she has personality and emotions in some stories but in others she's just a robot. It's really annoying.

Based on the fact that when Doug was asked about if Avacyn knows about Sorin creating her and responded with three scenarios, two of which involved a fairly strong emotional response on Avacyn's part and all of which indicate she has a strong personality and is, y'know, a person, while another guy on the creative team was pretty blunt with his view that "Avacyn's a robot," I feel like creative disagreed on the matter and the boring side won.

Don't say that. They couldn't possibly be stupid enough to kill their only interesting character, right? RIGHT?

I want to believe he'll live and Avacyn will return, dammit.

He will live, but Sigarda will replace Avacyn

So, why did Sorin create the Moon anyway? Is it just something to bind the power of Avacyn too? Is it a bigger Helvault? If so, for what?

They made it fairly clear that.she was more robotic as a newborn, then developed a more nuanced personality as she grew. This story shows her (for the most part) as a newborn. That's why she's robotic in this one, and emotive in others.

What bothers me is that they described her.eyes as black the whole time.

You know, none of this would be a problem if you would just let all be one.

Thank you, based Plaguelord.

what?

How sad. Though even recently she's had stories with personality, during the start of 'A Gaze Blank and Pitiless' she's not very roboty at all. I feel like they had to have her be aware of Sorin so that Nahiri could have seen them together so that her actions against Avacyn were justifiable in her eyes. Otherwise she'd just be torturing an angel for her own ends.

I want to believe this is a chance for Avacyn to come back free of Sorin's influence.

Bothered me too.

As far as I can tell, the moon was always there, but after sealing the Eldrazi Sorin figured out how to harness a bit of it to create a dungeon dimension for the fucking demons everywhere to get thrown in.

I suspect the fact there's like a hundred Helavaults worth of moonsilver in the night sky will come into play at some point if this isn't "well, we pulled some bullshit to save Zendikar, let's fuck Innistrad to raise the stakes again."

There's still hope, brother. All will be One.

Then why did Nahiri had no control over it, and she failed her lithomancy knowledge on it as well as on the Helvault?

It's something weird and beyond the power of lithomancy but I believe it's something Sorin found and harnessed, not created.

So how much can we bet that part of Eldritch Moon's promo material will be "On which side are you on?!" because they damn sure built things up for something like that.