Why didn't the Eldar and Humanity just talk over their problems with a nice cup of tea and a few heartfelt nights of...

Their skill at mental gymnastics is quite appropriate at how they're such twinky faggots.

you'd think having their war god emasculated by space marines would also humble them a little, but they're still pointlessly arrogant

Mainly because the imperium treats any alien race like a temporary ally eventually to be replaced by humans.

The Eldar have gotten everything right make short alliances and then get the fuck away.

Because the last time eldars "hate-fucked" they created a new chaos god, thats why

They did at various times. However neither humans nor Eldar are really all that united but they treat each other like they are. Moreover neither is really willing to sacrifice for the sake of the other when push comes to shove.

Humanity got along fine with the Eldar under the rule of the Interix but alas, they're gone. Chaos and the Imperium wiped them out. The Interix were unique in that they were both very capable and also very willing to adapt to the requirements of other species and make personal sacrifices to ensure peace.

The squats were allied with the Eldar (being demihumans they count) but the Eldar betrayed them at a crucial juncture which ensured eternal enmity between the two groups until the squats were eaten by Tyranids.

Various groups living on shared Imperial/Eldar worlds have peace agreements that are both respected and broken by both internal and external pressures. Occasionally the Imperium will want to purge the xenos and flood those worlds with outside soldiers or the craftworld Eldar will decide to purge the xenos and flood those worlds with Eldar. Neither the local knights or the Exodites get a lot of say.

Truces will also often be made between groups like the Imperial Guard or Space Marines and the Eldar. However it's a very limited alliance between one small faction of the imperium and one craftworld. A group of Imperial Guard may be fine with teaming up with the Eldar to fight Chaos while the Sisters of Battle that show up to reinforce them may not and vice versa. Some groups on both sides are more xenophobic than others.

Also Khorne is actively working to make everyone angry and xenophobic to ensure there is always war. Reasonable people acting reasonably would starve him.

Because the premise of 40K is "what if instead of being more rational in the future everyone is a giant dick", because it's a parody on stuff like Star Trek and Aasimov and a satire on real life groups and behavior.

It did, massively. Just compare them to DEldar.

I suppose you have a point there. Still so much arrogance and hubris though.

Because to the Eldar the humans are vermin.

Vermin they can occasionly dupe into playing along with their scheme.

Threadly reminder, the Eldar would burn a world of 500 billion humans souls to save a single Eldar life.

Why don't Humanity and Orks just talk over their problems with a nice cup of tea and a few heartfelt nights of hate-fucking? That's how humans usually solve problems, after all.

What I don't get is, why don't the eldar just...leave? Why don't they head off to the far fringes of the milky way, or even further beyond and leave the humans and their squabbles behind?

How does one seduce an asexual mushroom with anger management problems?

Orks have no problems managing their anger, that's just anti-WAAAGH propaganda.

And humans have a "kill on sight" policy towards Xenos that fucked them over more times than you can count

They aren't going to be friends without both the Imperium falling and the Eldar getting way more shit kicked in
You'd think having their Living God die and half of their demi-gods turn to Chaos would have done the same for Humans, but hey swings and roundabouts.

And humans would gladly make the same trade.

Or rather, gladly kill 500 billion to kill a single Eldar

>mad heretical scientist creates female Orks that have their warlike instincts redirected toward an insatiable sexual appetite

>muh garden world's
>muh legacy
>muh old shit being stolen by mon'keigh

>female orks

>an ancient evil awakens

They are leaving, at sub-luminal speeds

They probably couldn't agree on either tea or coffee

How would they.
They use the Webway for safe travel. And while they can use the warp they would rather stay and fight an entire splinter fleet of tyranids than using it, since they will get slaaneshd due to having stronger souls than humans and slaanesh always searching for more Eldar souls.

And while they probably could pack winter rations and leave for the nearest galaxy. Theres the problem with tyranids and orks being everywhere outside.

>creates

>Implying it wasn't a bunch of mekboys who where trying to harness that sister of battle PMS battlerage

They have.
Well some of em.
A few craftworlds burned out a bunch of stars to GTFO the galactic cluster.

Source
Sounds fun

Didn't female orks used to exist, and then it was retconned?

Humans would sacrifice 500 billion to kill one Eldar.

>ork diplomats
DAT 'UMIE GOTZ DA GREEN FEVAH' BOYZ

I believe the term in 's scenario would probably end up being "fukkboyz", because they learn that the odd way the new boyz with the squishy gubbins up front get stuck in with other races is apparently called "fukkin" by the 'umies.

The other boyz still can't make heads or tails of what kind of fighting it is, but the eagerness displayed by some of their opponents to get stuck in that way would lead some boyz to attempt imitating the fukkboyz to hilarious and disturbing results.

Because Eldar look at humans roughly the same way we'd look at a monkey.

because both sides kept backstabbing each other.

Listen, if you partied so hard that you created a literal fucking god could you hang with prudes like the Imperium?

Because thats HERESY

Hang on, I think I have a highly relevant scan for this sort of situation. It's less a matter of genociding the humans over their old garden world, and more of a conflict that escalated to the point where they released a shard of Khaine, which spiritually committed them to killing every single human on said planet.

Would you make a deal with ants?

Because they'd view that as basically beastiality.

Those breasts are a touch too large for a species that's supposedly 0% body fat, don't you think?

I DONT CREATED YOU SHITS TO INFIGHT.

WHY DO YOU THINK HUMANS ARE GENETICALLY COMPATIBLE WITH ELDAR?

WHY DO YOU IDIOTS THINK YOU ARE BETTER THAN THE OTHER?

DUMB APES.

THIS IS WHY I CREATED THE TYRANIDS.

REEEEEEEE

nah it just goes where the elder want it

>Implying Eldar don't have sick pecs

Maybe their breasts are made of muscle or something, not that would make much sense.

>WHY DO YOU THINK HUMANS ARE GENETICALLY COMPATIBLE WITH ELDAR?
They aren't.

Fuck off, Old Ones, you're dead.

YES THEY ARE YOU DUMB AMOBA. READ SOME BOOKS. ITS HINTED MULTIPLE TIMES AND IM NOT EVEN TALKING ABOUT THE SPOCK-ULTRASMURF.

AND SO ARE YOU. SOON.

REEEEEEEEEE

Because humans are disgusting savages that are more likely to go against Eldar advice out of spite, than to actually listen to reason, assuming they don't just shoot you on sight.

See That is what trying to deal with humans like civilized beings brings. Humans are a blight upon the galaxy.

>what is the fall

>YES THEY ARE YOU DUMB AMOBA. READ SOME BOOKS. ITS HINTED MULTIPLE TIMES AND IM NOT EVEN TALKING ABOUT THE SPOCK-ULTRASMURF.
Then give me a source.

Bags of wraithbone, maybe?

SOMETHING WITH ELDAR-PIRATES I CANT REMEMBER

EDUCATE YOURSELF SHITLORD!!

The Eldar are tied to the galaxy. They can't leave. Craftworlds for one, aren't wholly self sufficient. Also, even if they would be, the travel to another galaxy would take massive amounts of time on a craftworld, that travels at sub ftl speeds even by eldar standards. They also would lack the home field advantage they have in milky way if they left the galaxy.

Whereas the Imperium is "a book says we should kill everyone so that's what we're gonna do."

>still can't give a source.
A chaos corrupted pirate doesn't make half eldar canonical in any ways, you stupid smelly frog.

Eldar are alien beings, and can't reproduce with humans. A human has greater chances at breeding with a god damn oak tree than with an Eldar.

Why would Eldar negociate with humans?

Do we negociate with animals? No, we just slaughter them.

Eldar view humans the way that humans view animals.

Because fuck you, you mon'keigh fucking shits.

To be fair, the book was written after the fact that the closest thing to a god led the remainder of humanity out of the ashes of their former empire, which was turned to ashes as a direct result of xenos being dicks. The Eldar were dicks by birthing a god through murder fucking, the other xenos betraying humanity while we were down.

>The Eldar were dicks by birthing a god through murder fucking
This sounds like it was intentionally.

>engineer eldar and humans so they can pleasure themselves to that hot and heretical xeno on xeno action
>humans and eldar start hating each other instead of fucking each other
>old ones all die of disappointment and depression

Being Old One is suffering, for sure

It's been proven that not all xenos attacked humanity during the Fall. The Interex and other human soveriegnties were living peacefully with aliens when the Crusade found them. Only mankind's old enemies attacked them. The Emperor was just a huge arrogant douche who wanted to exterminate everything that didn't look like him.

There was even a planet where CWEldar had saved humans from DEldar and settled them with Exodites.

Well seeing how there is no picture of a happy Old one, I'd say their disappointed in all their creations not doing the thing they were intended to do.

It was in a way.
Some of the pleasure cults of the pre fall eldar were fully aware of the fact that their debauchery was stirring a new god in the warp. They just thought that that god was going to grant them pleasure undending once it was born.

>old ones engineered humanity meme

Top kek.
Old ones were all fucking dead over 60 million years ago. Humans evolved on a world that was SEEDED by old ones, yes, but humanity itself was in no way, engineered by old ones, because THEY WERE ALL DEAD BY THE TIME DINOSAURS STILL WALKED THE EARTH.

I don't really want to be nitpicky or pedantic, but I think that you can only be a dick if you are aware of the true consequences. They probably didn't know about the whole soul-eating thing.

Eldar sure are dicks, but in this case I think they were just dumb perverts.

>just dumb perverts.
That's putting the lows the pre fall eldar society descended right before the fall, lightly.
The streets of eldar cities were running red with blood due to the deranged and increasingly twisted pleasures the cults engaged in.

The Asurmen novel sheds some insight to the descend into darkness the Eldar empire underwent. By the end of it, it was outright civil war, with everyone with a lick of sense in their heads fleeing while the rest were killing other eldar, and indulging in increasingly sick and depraved acts for shit and giggles.

Because the current state of affairs is the orky equivalent of nice cup of tea and a few heartfelt nights if hate-fucking.

I don't think 40k orks really hate anyone, they just like fighting.

Do you realize how many people fantasize about fucking horses, or their dogs, or anything else. Do you realize how much bestality would happen if humanity ran into another sapient species that was capable of language and civilization?

If the Eldar viewed Humans the same way we viewed animals, there would be non-stop orgies filled with only the most depraved xeno fucking. There would be entire planets dedicated to mon-keigh fucking. There would be Eldar books filled with naked human women begging for their superior space elf dicks.

This is what the Dark Eldar do anyways. Endless BDSM, torutre, slavery, and depravity to satisfy their sadistic desires. They're the sickest fucks in the setting.

Eldar and Humans are too similar, they both see themselves in each other and that's why they'll never have peace.

Eldar are best race tbqh, humanity should submit

>Reasonable people acting reasonably would starve him.
> Reasonable people acting reasonably would instantly solve 60% of the Imperiums problems and turn Chaos and the orks easily handled threats.

Fixed. 40k is enforced Grimdark, so any time anyone has an idea that would actually work, someone more important them them has to kill them out of fear or jealousy.

How did Eldar get access to a Mongolian image board
no bully

>picture
YOU CAN'T MATCH MY POTIONS' STRENGTH, THEY ARE THE STRONGEST POTIONS IN THE WORLD!

>Mongolian image board
This was the lamest attempt at this I've ever seen.

Гaлзyyгийн бyтлaг.

This sounds interesting...

Fucking EW

You actually want to fuck AN ORK

That's fucking nasty m8

he misspelled "mongoloid"

A bookshelf

>implying humans don't want to be dominated by dark eldar wyches

>implying we don't like Eldar AND DEldar

I'd rather be a banshee's pet desu

Bump

Why?

Agreed
>tfw will never be eldar l̶e̶s̶b̶i̶a̶n̶ ̶s̶e̶x̶ ̶s̶l̶a̶v̶e̶ pet

I want to be the pet human of an eldar!

>you will never lick your eldar mistress's boots while she insults you in her native tongue

Why live?

Why only have them on the females, though?

Because the men don't need them.
They already have wraithboners.

>wraithboners

wat

I'm unsure whether to applaud you or punch you in the dick.

> of the ashes of their former empire, which was turned to ashes as a direct result of xenos being
Actually caused by humans fucking themselves over with Men of Iron but whatever