GW produced a lore focused, hilarious website that isn't 100% focused on selling you stuff with every sentence

>**Remember, your lives belong to the Emperor. Getting yourself killed is forbidden and failure to comply will result in punishment.

The funny thing is that the imperium is batshit enough to find a way to punish you even in death

I love this stuff

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Are they going to make the price to play the game reasonable and hire game designers who aren't morons yet?

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Taufags on suicide watch

In the Redeemer comic, he brought a guy back to life so he could torture him to death for information.

regimental-standard.com/2016/03/04/tau-technology-inferior-2/
>tau technology inferior

It's like a new edition of the infantryman primer

Thanks man. This is gold.

>al you 'avin a laff?

>What is true is that at the exact moment an enemy aircraft flew overhead, a lone squad of troopers were blown to pieces. However, this was a mere accident and nothing to do with the enemy fighter. The careless** troopers had inadvertently triggered a landmine and were summarily blown to bits.
This shit is gold

Not to be a buzzkill but when they start giving CSM and other low-tier armies some love then I'll start giving them the benefit of the doubt. You can't just start praising them as reformed when they still completely ignore and compound some issues. The CSM box formation sucking donkeyballs while the one that is released right alongside it gives you free respawning elite units is an insult.

>Genestealer cults are least sort-of available, possibly getting a full release later.
>possibly getting a full release later.

I doubt it, but they're definitely a nice detachment for the ally-less tyranids.

Aren't traitor space marine kind of secret for the Imperium ? I remember a secret medal in Only War for those who manage to take down one. I can imagine why the High command would prefer to keep this kind of information away from the Imperial Guards.

It's shocking how funny this is. I love the bit about guardsmen with flamers being required to clean the bottom of an Imperial Knight's feet after a battle.
My thoughts exactly. It's a constantly updating primer.

They even called other forms of las-weaponry "Puny flashlights"

>I doubt it
Believe it, sky-motherfucker

>Unstable design
Nice

What other articles would you anons want to see on this site?
Maybe one on the ineffectiveness of Eldar psychic powers? The low durability of Necrons?

>I can see through the hull
>As many squad members as required should immediately remove their flak jackets and jam them into the holes in the hull. This will quickly and effectively ensure your continued safety. Troopers should contribute their armour in reverse height order. While it requires more sets of smaller armour, they’re harder to hit. Any holes remaining at this point, once all troopers have contributed their armour, can be used as additional firing points from the vehicle.

This reads like it was written by /k/, I love this shit.

Massive amounts of panicked damage control when human defectors to the Tau release videos and reports of life being fucking awesome under the Empire. That'd be bloody hilarious.

>Community site manager
Literally cancer.

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But the Sentinel is just as much a shitty chicken walker. Even more so because it has no arms.

The difference is, is that Tau lack the rock solid faith in the God Emperor that the Imperial guard have, with which they stand upon.

>feeble claws

But how can you stand on it when faith in the Emperor is above all else?

You assume that faith in the Emperor is not omnipresent.

>Even more so because it has no arms.
Walking without arms is more difficult, and exposes the inherent superiority of Mankind's technology.

Notice how the tau tried to copy the sentinel's design with their stormsurge, but couldn't get it to stay upright without additional supports.

No, they're calling the pulse Carbine's target sight a 'puny flashlight'

I think those are marker lights they are referring to

>Out of grenades? Don’t worry – a swift bayonet to the Knight’s vulnerable ankle joint will bring it crashing down. Whereupon you can deliver the Emperor’s justice to the crippled abomination.

>If Step 4 proves ineffective, you’ve failed to properly maintain your bayonet. You now have no choice but to throw yourself into the workings of the Knight’s feet. Together, there is no foe that the mass of humanity cannot overcome. Rest assured you will be remembered as a hero. Survivors of such an assault will be summarily punished for poor bayonet maintenance.

Holy shit, this amazing

I would like to know more about the puny orks and their inefficient mob tactics.

>Advance – Always advance. If the enemy is before you, take the fight to him. If you are surrounded – great news, you may proceed in any direction.

>Quote – Call to mind an inspirational quotation and recite it, loudly. Remember, the content is less important than the vigour with which you deliver it. Your men will take heart from your words and fight all the harder.

>Unify – Be sure to advance en masse – the enemy only has so many bullets. More importantly, this will also make it easier for your troopers to hear your inspiring words.

>Inspire – Make sure your Regimental Standard is no more than two paces from you at any given time. Should the bearer fall, have the nearest Guardsmen drop his lasgun and retrieve the banner.

>Lead – You should always be at the front of the formation. Only the bold are afforded the Emperor’s divine protection. Be sure to stop every 11 paces to strike a heroic pose upon the fallen bodies of your foe.

>Attack – Keep fighting until all the enemy lie dead. If the tide appears to be turning in the opposition’s favour, fight harder. Retreat will result in death and the damnation of your eternal soul.

>Lead – You should always be at the front of the formation. Only the bold are afforded the Emperor’s divine protection. Be sure to stop every 11 paces to strike a heroic pose upon the fallen bodies of your foe.

Are they finally loosening up a little at GW?

>loosening up
>We have also received dubious reports of Valkyries being shot down. Be assured, no Valkyries have been lost in any recent war zone. If you believe you have witnessed such an occurrence, you have likely just seen one of these fine pilots make an expert landing under enemy fire, and any explosions were most assuredly the enemy, or perhaps fireworks to celebrate another successful landing.
>Fireworks

I'd say so user. It's a good feel.

>Genestealers are capable of overpowering poorly trained or ill-disciplined guardsmen and implanting them with alien DNA. If you believe you have been infected, please report to your local Commissar for medication.

top fucking kek

Damn. This is good.

>Owing to their ugly, odd shaped xenos heads, the Tau are forced to wage war in helmets with only a single eye lens. This moronic design flaw renders their depth perception patchy at best. The Tau are unable to properly judge distances or relative sizes, making their shooting wildly inaccurate. Should a shot strike you then you have simply been unlucky. Perhaps you have been lax in your devotion of late – regular prayer will ensure the Emperor protects you form such ill fortune.

This is amazing. Is there any way we can express our approval? Because there seriously needs to be more of this.

>finally
they've always been pretty off the wall with their weekly articles and shit

don't buy into the internet's cynicism, m8

To be honest, even if the Helbrute has terribad rules, its model is one of the better CSM ones.

*If you suspect you or a fellow soldier could be experiencing Human Weakness, speak to your Regimental Commissar about options for munitorum approved motivational support.

Yes.

>If your Chimera ceases to move in a combat zone, calmly exit the vehicle and examine it.

>(Important! If you are currently embarked amidst an aquatic assault, do not exit the vehicle – this is key.)

This is fantastic.

Remember, bald people are probably genestealers.

I suppose giving it more clicks and views is the only way to approve of this and only this.

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The rebuild of the whole faction into the biomechanical look will be glorious once it happens

My secret wish is for havocs with ammo familiars on their backs and optional daemonic feet to stabilize on the ground

I love its general shape, but the fleshy thighs just do not look quite right.

Still, miles ahead of the dinobots and flying dinobots.

Oh boy rodent flavor!

>If you are surrounded – great news, you may proceed in any direction.

Did GW really produce all of this?

I wonder which one actually tastes better. I'm betting Rodent, since grim darkness.

Does the average Guardsman/Commander really believes anything about all the BS propaganda written in these books/articles?

That's recycled meme I think, still amazing GW greenlighted the project.

GW writers are capable of awesomeness when they don't have management breathing down their necks.

Three square meals a day!

I see the packaging and all I think is "Snowpiercer Protein Bars"which I would totally try, those fuckers look good

i am pretty sure that veterans literally use the guard handbook as toilet paper

>bringing back Blood bowl and other specilist games
>revamping LOTR and handing it over to people who will hopefully treat it better and market it right
>cheep snap fit minis for marines and orks to get new players in at a lower startup cost
>White dwarf (hopefully) going back to its roots and beign good again
>Several stand alone boxed games out / planed
>said stand alone boxed games have minis that can be used in other game systems they make (IE SM scouts, nid stealers ect ect)

All in all yes. I think GW has started to pull its head out of its ass.

Now if only we can do something out those prices.

Good idea, just hope the rules for them will make them viable.

Dinobots are rad as fuck what's wrong with you?!

This shit just makes me think of this scene

>It's a single cell protein combined with synthetic aminos, vitamins, and minerals. Everything the body needs.
>It doesn't have everything the body needs.

It's more like what goes on in Korea: Everyone knows or at least suspects about the truth but they have to play their role for their o-glorious leader/government/commissar not to die horribly.

I like to think there're young, expectant, recruits who genuinely believe tho until the bugs start shooting plasma from their butts into the orbiting ships

The rules still suck huge amounts of dick. We'll see once they release 8th and start redoing the codex ranges. Until then I will remain steadfastly cynical.

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Someone post the recaff machine

>Note his excellent posture, and the holy gleam of his armour. His wargear will be well maintained, kept in immaculate condition by the ministrations of his Chapter’s skilled Techmarines.

And where does that leave people who want traitor marines with archaic marine gear instead of biomechanical monster machines exactly?

Just play LOTR annon.

The system is the tits and with how the game works it matters more how you play then what list you bring.

>Likely Toxic.

Wait. They don't know if their OWN technology is Toxic?

>In contrast, look upon and despise this traitorous wretch.

>So ashamed are they of their 10,000 years of failure, Chaos Space Marines often paint their armour black, the better to go unnoticed and un-mocked.

>Note the subject’s hunched and distorted frame. Some Chaos Space Marines are further hampered by malformations and mutations that lessen their combat effectiveness. You’ll notice their wargear is old and antiquated, and their boltguns often lack any ammunition. Most are in such disrepair that they are less effective than even a primitive autogun or stubber.

>A Chaos Space Marine is not of threat to a vigilant Guardsman. Be vigilant. Be virtuous. Be victorious.

>Failure to read or comply with the above notice will result in summary punishment.

Chaos babbies BLOWN THE FUCK OUT

They'd play Iron Warriors?

Crusade era list? I mean, 10,000 years of chaos will leave you with a bit more than old weapons

WHFB is still dead and the rules of 40k are still unbelievably shitty.

The only two things that will bring them out of stagnation are fixing the rules and cutting prices. Both things they will never do.

>* Please note that this statement is a metaphor. On no account worship the Warlord Titan, unless as a manifestation of the Emperor’s enthroned divinity. Check with your Regimental Commissar prior to prayer if at all unsure.

Wait, I thought this site WASNT spoused to tell the truth

see

Best rules set GW has done.

>I want 40k to not be shit
>Just play another game lol
Bruh.

The point is changing the default look to a bio-mechanical thing leaves them having to spend more to get what used to be the default.

It worked just fine before they had robot dinosaurs.

Of course more importantly they have to actually give Chaos a functional and viable Codex but that is another issue.

I doubt we will ever see the glory days of 3rd and 4thed 40k again annon.

>Lead – You should always be at the front of the formation. Only the bold are afforded the Emperor’s divine protection. Be sure to stop every 11 paces to strike a heroic pose upon the fallen bodies of your foe.

Now now, don't say that. I remain pessimistic but judging by all this progress, they have what it takes. Just hope they keep up the momentum and apply it to every aspect of the hobby. So far their best known stuff has been Renegade, a boxed set for more big stompy OP shit and the SC boxes. Good value but tend to have strong formations and units for the big important armies only.

The rest is PR stuff since we know how desperately GW needed that. Don't let them pull the wool over your eyes, they are still GW until proven reformed.

It was a lot easier to be nostalgic for the 3.5 chaos book before I found the internet and discovered it was full of morons who think only powergamers liked that book.

Which is dumb. You can't expect infinite exponential growth in a market like this. They should be glad sales dropped ONLY 10% in previous years and stayed flat in this year. Considering that the majority of their customers have complete armies, what incentive is there to buy new models? That they're buying at all is already good news.

>You can't expect infinite exponential growth in a market like this.
Tell that to the investors. They expect 10% growth or more over the previous year, every year. Supply, demand, economics, and basic logic all be damned.

Because it's true. Look at how much shit vanilla marines have right now, but what is it that you actually see? Gladius, grav spam, grav centurions, grav bikes, White Scars only, psyker spam. Do you see any other chapters besides Ultras/White Scars/occassional IH? Do you see fluffy stuff and diverse wargear? No. Just like you wouldn't see anything but IW if they re-released 3.5

>Just like you wouldn't see anything but IW if they re-released 3.5
Thank you.
The WAAC players used a percentage of that book, just like Eldar players now spam scatterbikes.
Your nostalgia is based on the book, not the reality of people who used the book. The people that used the book used only a handful of things in it, would freely list tailor on the fly with mutations, if they used them at all, etc.

Damn it's been a while since I've last read a piece of 40k fluff that had some proper black humor behind it.

Thanks for proving you are part of the problem.

I was drawn to the IW list for purely thematic/fluff/aesthetic related reasons. Until I encountered whiners like you on the internet I had never even heard that it was considered a powergamer favourite.

And I loved the book BECAUSE it was fluffy and had so many gear options along with most others who played it. People lying on the internet won't change that fact.

The current status of the game being shit has nothing to do with it, people played all the different variant lists in the 3.5 codex and I have seen people be nostalgic for all of them.

>Thanks for proving you are part of the problem.

By listing facts?

>I was drawn to the IW list

Oh, I see why you're so belligerent. YOU'RE the actual problem and you were called out on it.

>white cis male trying to tell the underprivileged that they're wrong