Why are there so many half-elves running about? Where are all the half-dwarves...

Why are there so many half-elves running about? Where are all the half-dwarves? Surely there's quite a few humans in fantasy realms with a shortstack fetish.
Are the two simply incompatible?

Elvenoids:
>Orc
>Human
>Elf

Dwarfoids:
>Dwarves
>Gnomes
>Halflings

>Where are all the half-dwarves?
Darksun

Are goblins dwarfoids?

Many settings have dwarves be biologically a seperate species from humanity, making breeding with a dwarf no more possible than with a dog. You know, because humans can be around dwarf-height naturally, and if they were that closely related to each other, it'd be too easy to get the two confused.

No, they are goblinoids.

Goblins, Hobgoblins, & Bugbears

Because humans and dwarves are so like in appearance and mannerisms, a half-dwarf is usually regarded as either a stocky human or a tall dwarf.
Half-Elves are clearly identifiable and as such don't fit into either society. They're the Mulattoes of fantasy land races. Not "Elf" enough to be one, nor "Human" enough either.

Actually they address this in some D&D settings.
In Dark Sun they DO have half-dwarves, called the Mul.
In classic (1e/2e) Forgotten Realms, human and dwarf pairing DID happen. Turns out that when a human or dwarf has a child with mixed blood, all you actually get is a slightly taller then average dwarf.
Dwarves were actually somewhat reliant on this for years for the purposes of reproduction as their birth rates were so low and human-dwarf pairings resulted in more frequent pregnancies, at least until the Thunder Blessing and more dwarves were born as twins.
Apparently dwarves didn't like talking about it at all; elves wrote sad poetry about the decline of their race and civilization, but dwarves kept that shit to themselves and didn't talk about it because it was kinda embarrassing to admit to other races that you were half-human, though dwarves themselves didn't care.

In some other settings derugar were actually partially cross-bred with humans by the Illithids to create a race with more psychic potential (the human bit) but also could work underground for ages without getting tired (the dwarven bit).

>5'4
>thick beard hair
>broad shouldered and barrel chested
>I enjoy the fuck out of mead and hate the sun
Guys...am I a half-dwarf?

Cool setting bro, here's mine

Fey:
>Elves
>Fey/gnomes

Homonids:
>Humans
>Halflings

Constructs:
>Dwarves

Elves were created by the fey in human image in order to try and fight them on their own terms, and thus are biologically similar to humans, but lack a soul. They can reproduce. Dwarves cannot reproduce at all because they're essentially all glamered golems (and completely male.) Orcs don't exist because they're boring. Halflings are just a largely distinct ethnicity of humans. Halflings and humans can breed, but they mostly end up producing halflings or humans. There is no "half-breed."

Does your mom have a beard?

How do you feel about being underground?

I guess if there's more than one race in your setting that's literally oddly-proportioned humans to the point where they can interbreed perfectly without magical help, it's time to admit you just want to write a human-only setting.
Dwarves should have more bizarre fantasy biology.

>Surely there's quite a few humans in fantasy realms with a shortstack fetish.
That says nothing about the dwarves wanting to get with humans. Personally in my setting the fact that dwarves tend to think of humans as too lanky to be attractive, and that crossbreeds while possible often have health issues or physical abnormalities leads to very few half dwarves.

I usually roll my eyes at the homebrew posted here but that sounds pretty cool

are there quarter-elves?

The conditions of a dwarf vagina destroy all but the hardiest sperm. Dwarf semen is toxic to humans and basically just erodes the eggs of softer species. Though the LD50 is pretty high, so barring a bukkake situation you should be fine. It's also 16 proof.

Even if human-dwarf relationships do exist, they're probably not gonna produce children.

Yes, they're used in a similar fashion to quarterstaves

>Orcs don't exist because they're boring.
That really depends on what you do with them, and they've gone through a lot of changes over the years. I like mine to be intelligent and technically adept, actually being more advanced than most races, rather than being hulking and brutish savages.

They can breed with humans because they're derived from the same stock, with a bit of a Morlock/Eloi kind of thing there, but it's not that common.

>Are the two simply incompatible?
Yes.
Alternatively, when they do mix they wouldn't look much different than a short/hairy human.

>humans can fuck elves, angels, demons, giants, ogres, and sprites
>but not dwarves and halflings

>too lanky
Humans come in many varieties

>DnD races don't make sense, more at 11:00

dwarves have more class than to fuck disgusting humans

I guess the tread needs some time to Mul that over

That guy would still be considered particularly skinny, and with small effeminate hands for my dwarves. Well except for one of the races, but those dwarves are rather isolated, to the point that they might as well not exist for what all I have done with them.

Unnaground!

I'll never understand where the meme of not being 6 feet tall = short comes from.

Like I get that it's close to the worldwide average, but that's only because of you westerners and Africans skewing the results... When I was growing up, six feet was the marker for 'SHIT, YOU TALL'.

It's a Veeky Forums meme.

Surely the obvious reason is that humans like elves better than dwarves.

Just look at this site; dwarves are seen and true masculinity while fa/tg/uys can't seem to not fap when elves are about.

>It's also 16 proof.

Bahhahaha love it

You can fuck them to your heart's content

There just won't be any babies from it

Because elves are attractive to humans and at least in some cases it's vice versa. On the other hand dwarves like their women with beards while humans not really. And most human females rather wouldn't go for someone half their size or even shorter.

Fuck you, Carlos

I know a girl who's 6'3"

In my country, average height for young males is 181cm. Thats just above 6 feet. So anyone below that is, technically, shorter than average.

Humans are half-dwarves already. They're the product of when Elves and Dwarves used to bone all the time, and then a massive schism formed when Elves started fucking orcs and Dwarves were like "Never again."

It's not something either race discusses, and neither would take responsibility for their short-lived offspring which went on to dominate the world.

Because elves are hot and dwarves are ugly.

Which do you think humans will mate with?

Dragons or something else weird, probably.

>Sprites can mate with (Or possibly mate with) anything except for Lizardfolk

What the fuck
Why Lizardfolk in particular?

You really can't blame DnD for a 3rd party book about sex making a bullshit table