What's the most brutal, one-sided asskicking you've ever recieved during your tabletop career?

40k, got powergamed by 6ed blood angels and a liberal application of multiple close combat rules- i was 14, he was 40. Bit sad really.

Hopefully it's Roman he kills

When I was still a little freeforming baby I was the guy willing to take hits.

Sad indeed. People like that give the hobby a bad name.

I was a level 3 monk fighting a tiny automaton with a sawblade. I had just made this character as a replacement and he hopped into combat as soon as he was ready. It rolled 5 natural 20's in a row turn one and just lopped off my head, the entire characters lifespan was about 30 seconds real time.

>powergamed
>blood angels
>6e

He was real smug about it too, although i played IG before they were good- and i was new to playing the game. I didnt and still dont understand that mentality in tabletop games, business and hardcore sport sure, but not games with toy soldiers.

Completely agree. If I'm playing and an opponent makes a great play, I laugh and have a great time. If I win, I try and give them tips on fighting the army that I'm fielding so they can counter it next time.

Shit dog, I'm autistic not an asshole.

>that head-drop
Jesus fucking Christ

>Playing Trailblazer
>Make a Disarm Fighter gimmick build
>Laugh off every fight with soldiers/city guards/bandits/etc.

>go 1v1 against a Troll
>only deal ~15 damage on average
>mfw

I was playing an intro game of WoD Vampires set back during Cains time.

Was some random warrior chief of tribe getting it's ass steam-rolled by an invading army. Eventually 1v1 the guy leading them who was a vampire while I was a lowly human. I managed to hold out but eventually he just got sick of me and beat my ass sideways and threw me in a cell in the ground afterwards until I was able to escape

>First time DMing 3.P
>Player asks to multiclass into cleric
>"Sure user, I DON'T SEE WHY THAT WOULD BE A BAD IDEA"
>Proceed to get fucked into a corner, not being sure how to stop the power-mad cleric without ruining the game for the other reasonably built characters
>Decide the only way to stop the player, is with more players
>NIGGER TELEPORTS OUT OF THE FIGHT
>ENEMY PARTY TPKS BY THE ONES OF SATAN

In hindsight this wouldn't be a problem now that I'm more experienced/less-retarded as a DM. Still was a funny way to end a campaign though

The BBEG and a player fought each other in single combat. BBEG didn't land a single hit.

>Be playing Exalted
>First time playing. First time with that GM. First time with that group.
>Most of group is brand new to Exalted. GM is enthusiastic to teach us.
>Get hyped over playing mountain-cutting badasses
>Make a near complete circle. Two Nights, a Dawn, a Zenith, an Eclipse, and a Sidereal.
>Several players starting at 4 Essence.
>Group is ready to shake the world with every step we take.
>GM decides we're too cocky
>Very first fight we get into, we wipe out a small army
>Then he throws the leader of the army at us
>Deathlord. Bishop something or other.
>Wipes the entire team
>Rapes one character to death.
>"You got too cocky."

This just makes me think of the Fell's Five comic where the guy challenges the orc to combat using any traditional orc weapon he wants, thinking he'll go for a claymore.

The orc chooses a big rock.

wrestling is fake

>friend trying to get 40k going at FLGS
>haven't played in years, still have 1,500 pts of Tyranids sitting around
>hodgepodge of models I thought were cool when I was 15, but some okay pieces mixed in
>friend offers to play a game to get me reacquainted with the rules
>brings Tau
>little did I know...
>I go first and run up, as you do
>he slaughters half my army on his first turn
>Genestealers and Hormagaunts blown apart before they can make it to the center line
>railguns splatter the Zoanthropes
>Tyrant lights up bright red from markerlights, then disappears under hail of smart missiles
>crowning bullshit comes when my 30 Devilgaunts unload 90 devourer rounds into 12 Fire Warriors and score one kill. remaining 11 then wipe out the entire brood on their turn
>by the end he's looking embarrassed and I'm so tilted I can barely walk straight
>glorious 40k revival dies in its crib

Mind you a few years later he opened his own store, and I ended up getting in on 40k there with a Necron army. If you can't beat 'em, eh?

Says the person that posts on the board that's specifically for games of pretend.

It's certainly not an athletic competition, but 250 pound dudes throwing each other around is pretty dangerous, no matter how many times they've practiced.
Think of wrestling like a circus instead of a boxing match

The injuries are real tho

You
I like you

>"Hey, sword guy, why aren't you helping us fight this hydra?"

>"It's probably stronger than me, and I can't charge through the mud it's in to attack. And I -am- helping, I'm shooting a crossbow at it."

>"No go hit it with your sword."

>"Fine."

>*NOM*

>"Oh shit it one shot him! Retreat!"

[Much later]

>"Oh, an artifact that can raise the dead! Amazing! Didn't you say you had a traveling companion before me? [hint hint my old PC]"

>"Yeah, but he wouldn't want us to waste this resurrection magic on him. Trust us, we knew him better than you."

Not me but I watched a fighter cleric multiclass walk up to a necromancer wizard in 5E DND and hold him at swordpoint in front of his 3 skeletons and 2 armed guards.
the wizard was like "simmer down nerd ill send em back into the ground after we defeat our enemy ;we need the numbers"
>Run cleric.exe as administrator?
>booting up
>cleric intimidates the wizard's armed guards and makes the skeletals run
>tries to cast hold person the wizard
>fails
>tries to stab the wizard
>fails
>wizard's turn
"lightning bolt"
>cleric.exe is not responding
>cleric.exe has encountered a fatal error
Butt blasted cleric player was turbo assmad that they got one shotted even moreso because the wizard spared him.
>update to NE fighter10?
>postpone[ ]
>cancel[ ]
>update[x]
>neutral evil fighter sees the cleric go down
>sees the wizard tie her up
>charges the wizard
>gets grappled by the armed gaurds and skeletons
>wizard walks up to the prone restrained fighter and just drops a rock on his head till he falls unconscious
>ties him up too
>when they wake up he just lets them free
feels weird man.
If you are reading this Claire and Firestone you guys got fucked haha

>Okay player, don't have the money to afford the better units in my mercs army.
>Friends convince me to hop into a WarmaHordes tourney.
>Bring a gunline list, Crosse and a Rover, Mages and a Mule, Damiano and big R, some Steelhead rifles, some solos.
>First match against Borka 1 Meat mountain goes decent, Mages and Riflemen actually hold TWO Warders units in melee the entire game.
>Second match legion, Lylyth 2.
>Raptors ride up and remove Crosse, then some mages for good measure.
>Riflemen disappear in Ravagore spit
>Rocinante drops to a Scythean
>mages sniped by Raptors
>Damiano dies to massed fire.
>mfw

3rd Edition game, we're in the sewers investigating something.
Most of us walk into a small room, Otyugh(sp?) wins Initiative.
TPK in a matter of rounds.

closest so far has been getting one-shotted by a pissed-off sith lord in swd20
>he leaps over to the walkway we're standing on and hits me twice with his lightsaber
>first hit knocks off all my remaining vitality
>second hit rolls low enough to drop me to exactly 0 wounds
>DM has me roll on a dismemberment table, roll a 9 - my primary arm.
>a 10 would've been decapitation
>end up getting saved by the party 'gray' jedi who'd made a deal with the BBEG earlier in the campaign turning against him and demanding he 1v1 i'll glass u m8
>then the r2 droid flips over from underneath the walkway with its magnetic rollers, opens the front of its casing, and detonates some form of concussion grenade inside itself
>rolls its con save absurdly high with force points and a nat 20
>BBEG is blown away into a bottomless pit
>i'm saved from being straight-up fucking destroyed by a guy twice my level with a lightsaber
at least i got a cool robot arm out of it

>Modern day fantasy
>I was the leader of the party
>Huge mutated croc guy
>Had the ability to control smoke
>Got vamped a few sessions earlier
>knew my death was close
>THEN OUR GIANT ISLAND DRAGON TURTLE BASE GETS FUCKED UP BY A MEGLADON SHARK
>fuckthatshit.jpg
>few hours till sunlight, #igotthis
>Head over to the shark and proceed to rip into its flesh
>Roll 36 successes, its d10 system
>THIRTY FUCKING SIX SUCCESSES
>GM smirks at me, "sorry user, thats not enough damage to get throw"
>HOW?!
>GM: Make a soak roll please
>SOAK WHAT?!
>"The SUN!"
>My character died the next turn
>He lasted 46 game sessions
>And was killed because the GM was salty about how long the party was alive for
>Saddest thing about my characters death was that the party pretty much fell apart without its guidance
>The whole campaign fell apart a few sessions later
>People still talk about that death to this day

Fucking Blood thirsty Gm's.

Ones who decide that characters who are too powerful and need to be 'pruned' are the worst.

Was playing a "barbarian" type warrior, a northerner who was technically a noble but was generally looked down on by most in the "civilised south" of the kingdom. He challenged a noble lord who was secretly the BBEG of that campaign arc, but we didn't know at the time, while we were at a tourney, and we were both was competing. He was being a vicious bastard, and offended the honour of my character's sister in front of the whole court. Being a fairly simple man in terms of his belief in honour and fair play, he of course issued his challenge.

The challenge was to "first blood" at the noble's insistence. As it turned out, said noble lord wielded a hammer enchanted so that wounds from it drew no blood, but still did all internal damage normally.

What followed was a beatdown that did not end until he stepped over my broken and battered body, drew a small knife, and sliced his House's sigil into my character's cheek.

I eventually repaid him in kind by carving my own House's sigil into him after he was found out and we wound up fighting him. Once for every bone he broke.

Decided to play ADND in new year's eve a long time ago.

Fucked up badly.

I was the wizard.

Against 6 death knights.

You spelled Ryback wrong.

So i'm playing Neverwinter Nights 1 online, with modifications (Community Expansion Pack) so it changes basically into 3.5e. I'm playing a True Necromancer, starting at 15 level, in town of good aligned city of Aldoria. Now, this is gonna be fuck up on my part, but it's basically what started the absolute lynching from another player. We played this sandbox type game where everyone did their own shit.

>Start in city and get out of tavern (spawning point for Aldoria)
>Decide to summon few skellies, thinking we don't play yet
>We do

The thought of explaining to GM that this was accident didn't went through my head because i wanted to finally roleplay.

>Get approached by guard and recognised as an exile (backstory bullshit)
>They want to get me in prison
>Try to run it to the front gate, more guards
>Need to fight it out, i send skellies and manage to kill two of them
>Fun ends here, another PC appears
>His name is Victor, member of the council of Aldoria
>After some talk, i run to the forest, leaving fodder behind
>Fast forward, thinking i lost them i chill by the river
>Apparently this guy is also high leveled mage because he sneaks on me cloaked and has a dagger at my throat
>Sends me to prison, magic proof, magic cancelling, magic fuck you
>Talks to me he needs help with some shit
>It's basically "Yo muh bitch or you'll be here forever)
>Have to agree
>During first task i wake up ancient lich from his slumber
>Fug.png
>After some other questing for him i try to run out of the city
>It's in police state now because muh political intrigue
>Try to look for the other exit, and after some time find it
>It leads through the sewers, of course
>Get out of the city, try to find evil aligned city (don't remember name at the time)
>Get there through shitton of locations and a fuckhueg dessert
>Some necromancy questing bullshit later for Illthid necromancer who was leading the city i'm second in command
>All is good now

Gonna cont. next post.

>nWoD
>Investigating a serial killer
>A victim's family disappears
>Find the missing persons are part of some cult
>Track them down to find a group of bikers are looking for them
>They want the kids
>Have to beat the bikers to save the kids
>Find them in a rehab clinic with the mother pretending to have an addiction to hide
>Bikers find them
>There's 30+ of them
>They start fire bombing the place
>Start to negotiate
>They seem very clan-like and honourbound
>Party face makes a deal for a fight. We win, they sit back and give us and the family a headstart. They win and the family goes with them
>They accept
>Party brick gets ready to beat the fuck out of the leader
>Bareknuckle boxing, no rules
>First 30 seconds of the fight, biker starts to transform
>Fangs and teeth
>Party brick proceeds to get slowly killed over 19 heart-breaking rounds
>Try to call it off and declare them winners
>He sees the family making a break for it and knows he needs to buy them time
>Gets back up and fights to the end
>Biker pummels him into the ground
>Kneels him facing us
>Rips a chunk of his throat out and eats it
>Family took their car and are miles away
>We start shooting
>Party scientist builds IEDs on the fly in the van
>We lose the bikers eventually
>Have to steal his body from the coroner
>Give him a proper burial

>This is the moment where i get to know that Victor has scrying and could see my ass anywhere
>The other thing i forgot to mention is that True Necromancers don't get Wizard spells per level so i had to learn all my shit from scrolls
>So he finds me, tells me he needs help again
>I tell him to eat shit
>Have my summons and shit
>He casts invisibility
>I dind't had a way to reveal him, my skeltals couldn't see him either
>He stunlocks me with some acid spell that deals 70-100 damage while plunging Isaac's Greater Missile Storm up my ass at least 3 times
>I last 4 seconds
>I go down, because in rules players only knock eachother down, just to prevent situations that would turn this game into Game of Thrones from high fantasy
>Get sent to Aldoria, have vision of some lich, make a deal for power
>City is in chaos due to some shit so i get out again and teleport to Helheim
>Do some more quests for Illthid, all cool and shit
>Victor remembers about me again
>Repeat last time we met in combat situation
>Get sent back to Aldoria again, this time he says he's tired of me rebelling and being angsty teenager and that i shouldn't try any new shit
>Suddenly while he talks someone teleports, grabs my ass and we fuck off
>Turns out it's the lich (his name is Howard Cain by the way) i released at beginning of the campaign and now he feels obliged to help me
>Apparently GM seeing how fucked i am getting constantly by Victor and his dickery decided that BBEG is going to pity me
>Holyshit.jpg
>He Dimmension Doors away, gives me some magic swag (rod of revealing invisible assholes)
>Victor teleports to us alongside another high leveled spellcaster who was winged elf
>We try to fend them off while teleporting to other places, but Victor apparently was build so well he could solo anyone
>I fall down multiple times, after few fights Howard ditches me
>Get dragged to Aldoria again

Gonna cont. next post, this is long one.

>Victor goes that he doesn't know how Howard Cain is helping me, but this time he's keeping me as slave until he gets to know what the fuck is going on
>After some time Howard's familiar (Imp or some shit) appears to talk
>He gives a generous offer of returning winged elf's soul for my freedom
>I don't know the fuck is going on
>He says no multiple times
>Imp bites me
>Feel blood burning in my veins
>Die burning in spams
>Literally ash

This would be an end of this story, but this saga of dickings has good-ish end.

>Get dragged into Howard's private dimmension
>Motherfucker has shitton of phylacteries scattered across island
>We have convo about cosmology and other nerd stuff
>He resurects me
>Later i get to know that Howard slated the shit out him because i died, making Victor the one who fucked up
>He doesn't look for me anymore thinking i'm dead
>I can finally plot my revenge like an evil mastermind
>Transform into a a lich in the meantime
>Teenage angst is gone

Soon after campaign halted because other players lost the drive.
That would be it. Long, underwhelming and boring, but a story nonetheless.

My diplomat/party face/skill monkey/rogue got lured out of camp by an eerie woman, who was actually the demi-goddes of misfortune.
The GM wanted to give my char a little boost, because we rolled stats in homebrew D&D 3.5 and the highest one I got was 13.

I did not know that. My char was a wise-ass.
Que angry demi-goddest of bad luck.
Middle of an empty field at night, ram out of nowhere, which was a were-sheep. Beat me down to negative HP, stabilised me and bit me in the ass.

At least I got the GM gift. Which was lycanthropy.

>A few weeks ago playing Risk
>Seize Australasia and turtle like that retard
>extremely high at this point
>over the moon
>Reds are expanding far too quickly.
>Breakout time.
>Attack Siam
>constant Snake highs
>opponents hitting high numbers every roll
>Utterly devastated.

She was borrowing my dice too. Never smoking weed again.

A single punch from the strongest Inquisitor in Anima. Broke all my teeth, pulverized my jaw and threw me off the rooftop of a speeding train. Kinda surprised I even survived.

Be glad it was only Marchosias.

One of my players though it'd be a gas to try out the "Ultimate Sneak Attack Jutsu" Ki Tech he had just made by trying to shank the Empress at a public speech.
Needless to say, Kisidan had other ideas.

Me personally, it'd probably be when I got betrayed in DoubleCross. Long story short, my long-time, sadistic, homocidal, and possessive partner (an NPC) got the go-ahead from fellow PCs that I needed to be silenced after an op. I was a JK, powers were gravity manipulation and power stealing (the latter being one of the reasons I got put on the hit list). My character was a martial artist, my partner was more of a trickster/stealthy kind of guy.

Anyway, I got tricked into heading into this building, ostensibly to kill some terrorists, told by command it was the last time I'd have to work with my insane partner. Head up to the room terrorists are in, get blindsided with sniper fire from across the way. Run back into the hall and get mowed the fuck down by a gatling turret. Overeds - that's the superpowered PCs you play as in DoubleCross - won't die even from that, though, since they can just resurrect. Before I can resurrect, though my partner strolls in and slowly decapitates my character with a pocket knife.

Felt pretty bad, man, like shit, that was basically the worst way I could think of for her to go out - I mean she had just completed an arc where she was getting free of his control - but on the other hand that's what made it compelling. Pic related was the character, RIP.

Not me personally, but a buddy I used to play with lost two characters in one night... In the same combat.

get german release suplexed onto your neck is doesn't hurt because the outcome is predetermined. stunts aren't dangerous in movies either.

4E, playing a "Kobold Adventure Party!" Where we all play Kobolds looking to take a piece of the adventuring lifestyle rather than toil away as slaves to some stupid dragon. We end up finding an enchanted maze of crypts that trap us inside, fighting our way past the undead to find a way out. Generally the combats go fantastic, everyone having the At-Will Shift that kobolds had at the time meant the we constantly had tactical advantage, oh no we are surrounded? More like THEY are surrounded.

Anyway, I played the Sword-and-Board fighter who squared up to fight a Zombie-ogre and keep him busy while the party handled with the trash. First round of combat, I'm at full health. He raises his club and using one of his recharge based attacks critical hits me for maximum damage and knocks me to zero in one blow. Amusingly, everyone found it a laugh although I was out of commission for the entire fight. At the end of the session the GM added an extra piece of treasure and gave me an enchanted mithral amulet that once-per-day can reduce any damage dealt to me by half from a single attack. A nice gesture in a "At least that won't happen again." aspect.

It wasn't even THAT low of a level campaign, It was just a max damage on the heaviest hitting blow we faced that dropped 60 damage on me.

When the 4th edition Chaos Marines Codex wass released I switched to Demons. Got my ass kicked mercilessely by Blood Angels twenty one times (being tabled over half the time), only managing to draw once. It was a one-sided asskicking for almost half a year.

An ogre had an attack that did 60 damage in a single attack? What level was this?

We had to fight someone who was using a homebrew class that pretty much had AC as its main combat stat. Though we were both good guys, we were hellbent on killing the politicians who caused a war while our opponent was equally determined to have them brought to trial and charged under the law.

Unknown to us, they also had the vow of nonviolence, which grants absolutely phenomenal defensive boons. We charge her, every attack misses except one, and that weapon completely shattered like it was made of burnt paper. This of course triggered her class ability where misses against her have the attacker suffer the damage as a penalty. She then proceeded to repeatedly trip, threaten, and disarm us while we were unable to land consistent attacks due to racking up nonlethal negative levels. Eventually they piled so high we ended up losing all will to fight, mechanically represented as being staggered.

The class' main weakness is ranged attacks, but none of us were good at that. We wound up thoroughly beaten even though there wasn't a scratch on any of us, and we were fine within a few hours. It's a defensive powerhouse, and vow of nonviolence makes it outright untouchable without magic.

Then again it was our fault for charging in and not even taking time to think.

the final boss of a 5e campaign crit failed an attack, failed a dex save to not go entirely prone, and then crit failed vs grapple.
We stuffed his mouth with enough explosives to turn the church we were in to a crater, tied it shut with chain while it continued to roll less than 5 for all of this, and then left a firetrap rune premade set to go off when we got a certain distance away.

We were gunna blow the place up after anyway but we didn't imagine it would work so easily in our favor, we lost maybe 5 health between all of us.

>First time playing a tabletop RPG
>Playing Black Crusade on Roll20 cause I like the setting, and none of my friends do RPGs
>Play as human psyker and on first real mission accidentally lead some hostiles to our party's safehouse
>Don't want to use psychic powers but everyone makes fun of me for only having a longlas as a weapon in a relatively close fight
>Fuck it use doombolt
>roll 22 resulting in 4 dos
>roll 22, fuck that means warp wackiness
>GM rolls for warp shit, Cataclysmic blast
>all 6 enemies utterly obliterated
>the other psyker in the party also obliterated
>PC next to me ends up with his armor melting into his skin
>Other PCs end up taking damage and getting set on fire but everyone survives, even other psyker who comes back due to plot/GM fiat.
>I end up in 2 halves, but survive although unconscious
>Party executes me, understandable
>shortly afterward get kicked by GM
>Never play a Psyker again

Black Crusade. Run over by a terminator.

Playing a Battle Sister who engaged a champion Berzerker of Khorne in hand-to-hand combat. His first blow from the chain-axe severed my SoB's leg entirely, sent it flying across the field, and sent her directly into fatal shock.

The same Marine then slew a carnifex in single combat so I didn't feel quite so bad.

That was a pretty good series.
"These pastries be light and fluffy and filled with cream. Dwarven work"