Magic: The Gathering Wednesday Flavor General - No Lord Rules Forever Edition

>You are a planeswalker.
>In the vast Multiverse, only you and some other chucklefucks know of the countless worlds beyond your own.

Welcome to the Magic: the Gathering Flavor General thread!

Helpful links:
>Uncharted Realms Archive
magic.wizards.com/en/articles/columns/uncharted-realms

>Planeswalker's Guides
ARCHIVE pastebin.com/Ttgtz6A9

>Set Trailers
pastebin.com/ayJntkE0

>Current Status of Planeswalkers:
2014: magic.wizards.com/en/articles/archive/checking-planeswalkers-2014-06-16
2015: magic.wizards.com/en/articles/archive/feature/checking-planeswalkers-2015-2015-08-19

>Doug Beyer's Tumblr
dougbeyermtg.tumblr.com/

Reminder: Keep bait, shitposting, and arguments to a minimum--try to focus on lore discussion. Ignore chandere posts.

This week's Magic Story is "Campaign of Vengeance" by Ari Levitch.

magic.wizards.com/en/articles/archive/magic-story/campaign-vengeance-2016-07-06

>two Oldwalkers get into a pissing match: the story

Man and I thought the fake summary of their fight was emasculating enough, Olivia gets to live and she rubs it in on Sorin as she takes his blade.

So all the nostalgia wankers should love this plot.

>Now, as she looked at him, standing a dozen or so paces away, he was much as she remembered him, though with none of the frailty from their previous meeting.

Okay, that's interesting. She noticed he was frailer than usual in their previous meeting?

>"Never forget," Sorin hissed, "I spared you. The Helvault was a courtesy."
>"A courtesy," Nahiri repeated, her fingers twitching. She could rend him to pieces. "The horrors you locked me away with for so long—they became my world."
Was it rape?

Not really. You'd be hard pressed to name any from classic magic. Urza and Mishra were regular wizards when they fought and blew up Dominaria.

It's not rape if its a Kor.

Has the same scale and feel though.

She eventually noticed he was fighting weaker than normal, yes.

>It wasn't the first time she'd seen him feed, but he'd never looked quite so monstrous as he did at that moment. And that's what he was, a monster.

Sorin was an Oldwalker and didn't need to feed, but he did so anyway just because he could? Nahiri's only ever known him as an Oldwalker, this is the first time they've met post-Helvault.

>By the time Nahiri was finished with her work, Sorin hung in air, gripped in Nahiri's magic. There was no planeswalking from this. The stone teeth that held him chewed at his insides, keeping him in a perpetual anguish that would sap the focus he would need to leave this place.

So that's why he can't just planeswalk out, he's trapped in unending agony and incapable of focusing enough to do it. He could, in theory, be freed by somebody else.

Depends what they do with Innistrad. The Brother's War was the first storyline in magic, they weren't wrecking an established world. This set the stage for the very strong flavor Dark-FE-Ice Age story.

Ideally, Innistrad is saved but there remains some tentacled horrors lurking that weren't there before.

>sorin fed because he could?
I don't buy that. There are a whole bunch of Sorin cards where the flavor text of his basically says "feeding for decadence is fucking stupid."

The ending was leaked.

Tamiyo and Liliana, plus Nahiri, seal Emrakul in the Moon, which works like a giant Helvault. Innistrad's still definitively fucked though.

>mfw with Emracool defeated we can finally get back to Phyrexia

he might've done it as force of habit at any particularly dicey situation, similarly to how he had to in their fight in this story. the very first time we saw nahiri and sorin chronologically they were at the tail end of failing to fight ulamog.

The problem is that this story highlights that yes, this is the first time Nahiri and Sorin have come face to face since she went into the Helvault face first:

>"The last time Nahiri had seen Sorin, he had been the last thing she saw in the world before the solitude of the Helvault consumed her."

So it clearly can't be post-Mending that she's seen him feed, it has to be pre-Mending. Which means he had to be an Oldwalker when he was doing it.

>plus nahiri
really, she comes back? with today's story i thought her redemption arc was gonna be long coming.

Phyrexia is beyond lame.

The only way it ever worked was as an ancient evil that was whispered about and who's relics could grant great power at a cost.

Then they decided to make them the big bads. Stupid looking robot aliens everywhere and comic book villains.

Not having enough of these clowns, Wizards then created the amazing world of Mirrodin just to ruin it and bring these fuckers back.

Did we really expect anything else?
Girl power strikes again.

>i thought her redemption arc was gonna be long coming.
And I thought that world ending, formless creatures would take longer than a month to defeat so I guess we're both disappointed

Shit. Sorry, meant Nissa, my brain is sleep deprived.

>The only way it ever worked was as an ancient evil that was whispered about and who's relics could grant great power at a cost.
I mean, Phyrexia controlled multiple planes under Yawgmoth. It's very possible we can still get a plane that was once under Phyrexian control with remnants of them still popping up every now and then.

I'm looking forward for the story when Nahiri planeswalks back to Zendikar, sees that it's (relativley) fine, and goes "oh wow, I'm an asshole, aren't I?"

What about Sorin? Are they just leaving him here? Is he effectively dead? Is he too white and hetero for Magic's progressive future storylines?

Maybe he still had to feed as an oldwalker, or maybe feeding could get him an extra boost of power when he needed it.

I have been disappointed in that since Rise if Kozilek was spoiled. I've been expecting Nahiri to have a way too fast heel-face turn, today's story just made me think they had discovered an inkling of pacing.

Hi, my name's elspeth and that's my backstory. can I please stop being dead now?

Elspeth's plane was still firmly under Phyrexian control. I'm talking about a former conquered plane that either managed to eject their conquerors or one that Phyrexia retreated from after the Invasion failed.

>Magic: The Gathering Wednesday Flavor General

Are these threads still a thing? Haven't seen them since Emrakul started to rip Innistrad a new asshole a few weeks ago.

I though you guys ragequit after being feed up with the current lore or something.

>mfw at Sorin and Nahiri idiocy and people skills

>Walkers
>Ever able to correctly read a situation

>still firmly under Phyrexian control
despite yawgmoth explicitly throwing all phyrexian forces he could muster into his invasion and any remainder having thousands of years with no direction, making that either a retcon or huge plot hole.

Oldwalkers don't eat, sleep, even shit unless they want to. Sorin could have made himself look like a tented pavilion if he felt like it, and suffered no downsides. There's actually one who did do that.

Its Nissa, not Nahiri who helps.

Elspeth wasn't born until almost 400 years AFTER the death of yawgmoth

Yawg and Old Phyrexia were long dead before Elspeth was even born and her plane was still controlled by Phyrexia.

This whole arc reads to me as basically a criticism of premending walkers. Gideon and the Gatewatch minus Liliana now are uncommon because they actually give a shit about the planes they visit. Nahiri and Sorin don't besides their "home" planes. If they decide they don't like the way things are going, they can just leave. They have no ties to the place, why should they care about them? It's a statistic and a big multiverse.

Meanwhile, the newer walkers are more connected to the planes, more human and without as much of an attitude problem, and actually have reason to stick around and help when they show up.

They're as Old Phyrexian as Canada or Australia are English. With Yawgmoth's death and the ending, all of the worlds that Phyrexia has conquered have been completely isolated, allowing the Phyrexians on those planes to develop in unique and different directions.

Elspeth's world was a fragment of a shattered empire, hundreds of years after the shattering.

so is there a difinitive answer on whether that's a retcon on the general state of phyrexians, or a huge plot hole in elspeth's backstory? because according to the invasion novels such a plane shouldn't exist

>He could, in theory, be freed by somebody else.
This nigga owes him enough to return the favor

Phyrexia got out of hand. The way it is portrayed in the Invasion block is ludicrous. It isn't spooky or creepy; its goofy as fuck.

Honestly, New Phyrexia is more in line with what Phyrexia was kind of hinted to be like. Alien or horrible. However, New Phyrexia ruined Mirrodin, so fuck them too.

>Oh no a girl beat up a guy in a fictional story!

So I guess the random user who spoiled the story was half right?

Nahiri does end up sealing Sorin into stone but Olivia didn't die.

Also why the fuck does Sorin not mention that he sought out Ugin and found out that the dragon was dead (in the past khans timeline)?

Eh, it's better than I thought. Sorin beat the shit out of her without even using any magic. She managed to trap him when he fed on her rather than just stabbing her.

It's going to be pretty great when we get Mardu Sorin finishing off Zendikar.

Given a choice between Nahiri and Sorin, which is what it'd be, I have a sneaking suspicion Ugin would pick Nahiri. He needs her lithomancy more than he needs Sorin's attitude.

Ugin's probably busy sulking because his science project got buttfucked by a bunch of children anyway.

Could also be phyrexian created by Karn spreading oil everywhere

There wasn't one last week because the guy who usually makes them wasn't able to make one that day. They've been up every other time.

Also why the fuck did Sorin get close to her and leave his guard down? He knows damn well what she can do with rocks.

a. Sorin has way, way more pressing stuff here than absolving Ugin of blame.

b. Ugin was never dead in this timeline, just cocooned. Which granted is also a fine excuse.

Well her plane was specifically used as an asylum for insane Phyrexians. Maybe that got left out because you don't want crazy people fighting for you.

I doubt it. Nahiri is too emotionally driven, and he doesn't need a lithomancer anymore.

because he was eating her, and usually bleeding, dying food doesn't build a sarcophagus around you.

I don't see why he can't just break out on his own. He fucking threw an angel through a pillar hard enough to turn it to powder. How is he not just tearing himself loose?

>Sorin watches Emrakul get bitch slapped into the moon
>He's still in the pain rock
>Back in Zendikar, the Gatewatch tell Ugin that for once, they listened to him
>He asks if they found Sorin
>The group slowly turn to Jace
>He slowly starts moving back
>Ugin gives him The Stare
>Jace planesruns back to Innistrad to find Sorin at Markov Rubble
>Sorin is still Fucking Pissed
>After some weak ass punches, Jace just throws the Sorincoghagus across the BE so that Ugin can deal with it
>We get Oath of Ugin and Sorin
>Ugin's quote is "If it means you kids start listening to me for once, I will keep watch."
>Sorin's quote is just him ranting about how Ugin's a fucking liar and Nahiri's gonna get a sword up her ass

In all fairness, Nahiri could well have known Sorin during the time period when he thought decadence was a fun way to pass the time when you're bored. There WAS a five-thousand year gap between when they sealed the Eldrazi and when she got Helvaulted for him to get bored of decadence and decide that maybe the vampires of Innistrad should get bored of it too (on pain of angel)

Nahiri might be able to super reinforce stone or something. The better question is why he doesn't just planeswalk.

>Markov Rubble

kek'd

"There was no planeswalking from this. The stone teeth that held him chewed at his insides, keeping him in a perpetual anguish that would sap the focus he would need to leave this place."

>there's no rules text on Oath of Sorin, just a rant of flavor text that goes past the bottom border

>"Sorin's Promise"
>0 CMC

Okay, new player trying to learn here. I have a card "Asylum Visitor", it has a madness ability "If you discard this card, discard it into exile. When you do, cast it or its madness cost or put it into your graveyard."

I'm not sure what this is supposed to mean in practice. Does that mean I must pay the madness cost to keep it in exile, otherwise if I do not it will instead go to the graveyard?

How fitting; Sorin's oaths and promises don't mean shit, so his oath doesn't do shit.

>Oath of Sorin is a DFC
>The entire back side is flavor text
>If you get all five alternative versions of it, the back side makes a complete rant

With Ashnod's Altar being something of an EDH staple, is anyone else hoping that we get a card of Ashnod herself at some point? That's pretty high on my wishlist.

wrong thread


But
Madness allows you to cast spells if you would discard them.

For Asylum Visitor, if you discard it (for any reason) you discard it into exile. At that point you may pay its cost (1B) to then cast it. If you do it follows the normal casting rules, if you dont the card leaves exile and goes to your graveyard (like normal discarding does)

This is the flavor thread, so you probably want to ask in the ask-a-judge thread or standard general.

Regardless, here's what it means: If an effect makes you discard that card, instead of putting it in your graveyard, you put it in exile. Then you immediately have one of two options: put it in your graveyard, or cast it for its madness cost. You have to pick one or the other, it can't just stay in exile.

Ashnod is kill

If you discard a spell with madness, you can play it instead of just putting it into your graveyard.

Well, yeah, but I mean in a supplemental product. Freyalise was kill too.

You discard the card. It exiles instead. You decide whether or not to pay the madness cost.
>If you do pay: It is cast for the madness card and resolves basically as if you cast it from your hand
>If you don't pay: It leaves exile and goes into the graveyard like discarding normally would have it do
Exiling in this case is just holding it outside the game for a moment for you to decide what you want to do with it without risking weird edge cases.

She could still show up in a commander product.

Well thank you then.

>wrong thread

Sorry, I'll be off. I'm new around this board.

So are Freyalise, Feldon, Jazal Goldmane, and Titania. They still got cards, despite being dead - just in a supplemental product.
Titania even died at around the same time as Ashnod.
They should make a card for Dyfed. I want to see them outdo Tibalt.

I just want a BR cowboy Tibalt

>Ugin pops in
>"WHAT IN THE EVER LIVING FUCK DID YOU FAGGOTS DO TO THE ELDRAZI THIS TIME"
>Sorin's all "dude pls help Nahiri fucking jumped me for no reason"
>Ugin's like "Sorin I told you before not to fuck with me about what went on with you and her"
>Jace shows up and decides to mindprobe Sorin for giggles
>tells Ugin about the Helvault spat
>Ugin's like "fuck this gay multiverse and everyone in it, you're on your own Sorin. Now I gotta go find Nahiri and chew her ass out for fucking with Emrakul FUCKING NEOWALKERS REEEEEEEEEE"

Ugin's probably going to be the most pissed off old man in this story because of all the dorama that got to everyone's heads.

And then Liliana delivers a hamfisted moral about how being a selfish Black planeswalker can be one's own undoing, followed by claiming Innistrad as her own plane to compensate for her services in protecting it.

Why would Liliana do that? It needs to be someone else doing that.
Because Liliana cannot conceive of anyone not being Black.

I'm pretty sure everyone is dead except maybe Teferi, who is a time mage.

From C14? No, what with Nahiri, Ob, and the Cecanis in there
From pre-modern border plotlines? Also no, Jhoira is also around, also Jodah, and probably Squee

I still want to see Urza come back and begin to chew out all the Neo-walkers


>"The fuck is going on? Where's Karn?"
>"Excuse me Urza, but maybe you should talk to me"
>"Shut the fuck up Jace, the big boys are talking. Where's Karn?"
>"Right here Urza."
>"Dude, what the fuck man? We spend how many centuries trying to destroy Phyrexia and here you go and just decide to make them a new home?"
>"I'm sorry urza."
>"And worst of all I have all these fucking kiddies running around thinking that stopping the Eldrazi is a big deal. Congrats kids, you saved literally the two most useless planes in existence."
>"What did you call us?"
>"You heard me. I thought the Weatherlight crew was a bunch of fuckwads but you take the cake. We got a too cool for school leader, an emo cheerleader, a roid rager with questionable ethnicity and an elf quickly trying to reach my level of bad decisions. Karn?"
>"Y-yes Urza?"
>"Get Bolas on the phone. Tell him the men have some work to do."

>Squee is the immortal god-king of mercadia's goblins
Permanent headcanon, since wotc's never going back there.

She does it intentionally to troll.
While also deep down wanting to make sure Jace doesn't get himself killed caring about other people's problems.


Liliana's actions are kinda interesting to look at, because there's the obvious Black side to her rationale (I'm doing it so that Jace and friends can owe me), and then there's the weird sentimental side (I really REALLY don't want Jace to get himself killed over someone else's problem) that doesn't immediately fit the classic parasitic selfishness of Black but does fall in line with, say, Black's rejection of altruism.

No. And he shouldn't ever get a card, either.

Though his vanguard one works. It can't be removed and acts as an infinite mana outlet.

>Urza, Sorin, and Bolas on the same team and wrecking the multiverse's shit while occasionally giving Jace swirlies.
>Karn tagging along and futilely trying to keep the crazy train on something resembling rails
>The crazy train has no brakes

If Urza ever somehow gets resurrected, I would want him to be like Old Joseph Joestar, an amnesiac with remenants of his old power.

Ugin's clearly the one who's going to play that role.

And he's likely to force his way into being top chief of the Gatewatch so that the organization has even a semblance of restraint to it.

Which'll eventually lead to a falling out with members, which'll result in Magic: Civil War.

Meanwhile on Zendikar, Garruk hears of this badass Kor bitch who just slapped the shit out of the world's most arrogant vampire oldwalker. Mayhem ensues.

Liliana can be sentimental and still be mono-black.

>Multi-Planar drifting

>Neowalkers fuck with the timeline again
>Urza and Yawgmoth are resurrected
>Hilarity ensues

>Garruk hears
I think you mean Ob Nixilis ears about how vengeance will be his. then again, I'm looking forward to ob, lili and garruk getting in all kinds of mess over the chain veil, adding nahiri to that could be fun too. hell, with lili technically being in the gatewatch none of the other four would even have to nose into it to keep it in the new mtg storytelling dynamic.

You mean three girls, right?
Yes, even the floating tentacle monster has been given the only gender allowed to win fights.
Last week we had female one save the Jacetice League, then defeat the two giant shitlords with the help of female two while the two supplicant males sat on the sidelines.

I have no problem with this.

>New Phyrexia meets Old Phyrexia
>"We must compleat the universe for the glory of the Father of Machines!"
>"Indeed! For the glory of Yawgmoth!"
>"...I'm sorry, for who now?"
>"HERETICS!!!"

>I'm sorry, Nissa, but Jace is my friend.
>>oh

>Urza and Yawgmoth become the Multiverse version of Statler and Waldorf

>Nahiri wins
Best girl triumphs

My nigga

>faggots like girls covered in dirt
No class detected

RUBBING NAHIRI'S DIRTY FEET

But user, Elesh Norn didn't even show up on Innistrad.

Was there ever a doubt that justice would triumph?

GO BACK TO FLAKE THE THREAD

NAHIRI FAG

TALK ABOUT YOUR WAIFU AND FLAKEFUS MORE THERE

LEEEEAAAAAVE

I used this name long before the flake threads, like it or not
Lore threads are my home.