A group of level 1 adventurers come together in an inn

>A group of level 1 adventurers come together in an inn

What's the best way to quickly derail the entire campaign?

start a fight

It's the town's rowdiest, leatheriest, oiliest gay bar. The wizard has called them here on serious business because no one will think to eavesdrop in this place where the STDs are all but airborne.

You have a couple drinks, talk about the harvest, and go home.

Kill the rest of the occupants, skin them and string their flayed corpses up in front of the tavern with a sign that says VOTE TRUMP.

Stab and/or explode the barkeep and shout FREE DRINKS FOR LIFE BITCHES while laughing like a madman. And then set it on fire.

Ask for a glass of water.

>the inn is a mimic
>but it's a friendly mimic
>friendly to someone else
>to whom it will deliver you, gently crushed, as a gift the way cats give their humans mice

I learned the quickest way to discover how shitty a player is at roleplaying is by seeing what they order for a drink.

I have literally never met a good player that asked for a water or "juice" in a medieval tavern.

>>A group of level 1 adventurers come together in an inn
>What's the best way to quickly derail the entire campaign?
Define the word "come". Depending on what the DM meant, it may be easier than you think to derail this.

>The Barman is a Dragonwrought Kobold

The bartender is a Sergal

>What's the best way to quickly derail the entire campaign?

Try to be the 'edgiest' lone wolf character in a group of 'lone wolves' that never follow a plot hook and have no self motivation in a sandbox campaign. The DM will either kill them-self or all of the players. Maybe both...

Then what do good players order? Medieval and ancient people drank wine and alcohols because they were usually cleaner than water.

In my experience, the guy who orders Milk ends up being the most interesting.

...

you should know this is an eldar have a nice day.

probably spontaneous suicide by the PCs

Good players order small beers or light ales for their "casual" drinking.

The heavy stuff should be for the post-crawl celebration.

Fuck I want to own a bar like that, and have a half price night for RPG groups.

This. One time we decided to play while drinking. Char creation took forever so we got pretty wasted. 30 mins in and we had managed to kill the innkeeper/bartender, start a riot, blow up the tavern/inn and steal a ship. The GM barely ever got the chance to give us the quest. We didn't play much further than that.

Disclaimer: Not something I take pride in. I'm just saying it works

When the quest giver approaches your table, excuse yourself, get behind him, draw weapon and execute him, drag the body into the lit fireplace to prevent resurrection, assume a defensive stance before the fireplace.

As the GM, you just need to practise a little in medias res. I like the Jim Butcher method.

>'The tavern is on fire, and it isn't your fault.'

Mass suicide

Take out your dick OOC and slap any female player. If there isn't any females, slap the GM.

Pazuzu pazuzu pazuzu...

Eh.
>town guard comes
>get jailed
>quest giver you were going to talk to anyway comes to see you and offers you parole in exchange for serving him

If the GM wants to, he has ways to stop you and he's got an excuse to use them.
>but railroading
We're looking for the best way to derail a campaign, which means getting around easy railroading.

Even if you did get away on a ship, the quest giver just so happens to have booked passage on it as well. Now you're stuck with him for a few months and he'll talk you into working for him, or at least drop plenty of hooks that he's offering gold for.

They ask what the local brews are.

deck of many things

the inn is destroyed to the ground as the town immediately comes under seige

Not only does this make sense for a medieval character, but it gives the DM a chance to flex their imagination a little bit more, which makes them like that player and encourages more casual roleplay.

Get everyone really drunk, have a victory screech, then burn everything and everyone to ash.

My group has a player who has had nearly every one of his characters order milk in a tavern at one point or another, to the point it became a minor running gag. He's probably the most accomplished in the system and one of the better roleplayers, too.

So more fuel for your hypothesis, I guess.

It's a gay inn not far from a crocodile infested magical castle. Suddenly, a wizard comes in and shoots fireballs at everyone with an assault wand.

Bar Fight!

I kinda dislike being asked what to drink while playing TTRPGs.

In a world of magic it feels like a huge drag to have to think about something as mundane as my choice of fantasy beverage. It's not even something I give a fuck about in real life.

the same way you derail a thread on Veeky Forums,

mention berserk.

The inn is really a mimic

>Select all the trains captcha says
>Shows me a pic of Cristo Redentor

>Especially if they're experiencing a "Hydra in a Cave"

...

Ez

Confess publicly to being the BBEG, and give a heartfelt speech about how you wish to repent and make good.

You get a fairy called Syrup to try and railroad the adventurers into stopping an alien invasion.
To no fault of hers, they'll destroy the inn, dick around the village for while, destroy the inn again and dick around the village some more.

By the time they get their shit together, convince a dragon to call him if necessary and save some dads you'll beg for some rails.

Pazuzu
Pazuzu
Pazuzu

One PC takes offense at the other PCs' existence.

>Tavern is on a boat
>Never get off the boat

>everyone you talk to shills idolmaster

>everyone is comic relief shota fairy

>the ride never ends

Once played with a guy who ordered water, he played a very professional wizard that liked to say the drinking for after the job is done

Drain semen from dragons to impregnate female Dragonborn.

Damn I need to get around to watching that show.

>Just watched Idolmaster 765 after friend recommendations and enjoyed it a lot
What's wrong with very real depictions of stage work and hearty amounts of suffering?

It is also quite silly at times, but that's refreshing before it crushes you

>Fight to the death
If GM forces issue(fiats you get knocked out)
>Agree with quest giver as long as it takes to get free
>Resume fight to the death

Quit the campaign after the first session to go back to 3.5
Tell the Gm of the game that was quit last.
;_;

The entire inn animates, roll for stability or be knocked prone.

>Party began the first session of our campaign
>City was anti-magic, anti-elf, and violently anti-necromancy
>Five minutes in, one PC made an offhand comment regarding necrophilia while sitting next to the captain of the guard
>We never made it out of that inn

You mention necrophilia in casual conversation often? With people you don't know very well even?

You made my day, thank you

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner.