I roll to seduce

>I roll to seduce
How do you GMs handle this kinda thing?

If you can come up with a single sentence that makes me instantly want to suck your dick I will let you make this roll.

Tell me what is your character doing

I have poisoned your drink, and guess what's the antidote.

The mating ritual of the bald eagle while fascinating, appears to have no effect on the Elven maiden.

My players usually just try to seduce each other's characters

>Jokes on you, I know autofellatio!

"I've got your entire browser history and I'm not afraid to publish it."

It's funny how Seduce and Intimidate are interchangeable sometimes.

I don't believe you have any players.

Enjoy your life-sized mannequins you keep arranged around your kitchen table.

>has sex with [x]
>comes to find out he fucked the Fat Ugly [x] who's disguise self spell stopped in the middle of climax.
It has worked every fucking time.

You're technically right in that I'm actually one of the players in these games.

One player is actually trying to romance an NPC, but they keep getting cock blocked by haughty/drunk nobles ruining everything for everyone but themselves

Roll a d20, add whatever skills are appropriate by stating your intended method and I'll add appropriate circumstance bonuses.

This is then compared against a combination of circumstance stuff the relevant stat (wis perhaps but depends on the system), and a d20 roll.

If the player succeeds, the target is seduced and there is a fade to black. Unless the details are necessary they won't be discussed.

The woman stares at you with incredulity before walking off slightly disturbed. She later dies of poison. You are now wanted for murder.

The man is visibly disturbed by this, looking around he reaches jnto his pocket and mutters, no one must ever know. You are now lying in a gutter bleeding from your abdomen.

I wouldn't let you roll with either of these options, neither of them are hot, funny or clever.

This is the best way to do it

>a vampire bangs his knee into a table and yells "FUCK"
>his Dominate power goes off in a crowded room of nobles

>neither of them are hot, funny or clever.
Wow, just like your post

MY LOVE FOR YOU IS LIKE A TRUCK
BERSERKER
DO YOU WANT TO MAKING FUCK?
BERSERKER
...
BERSERKER

>Taking joke answers this seriously

That doesn't seem like a fair way to adjudicate that. What if I already want to suck one of my players' dick? It'd be giving him an undue advantage.

What's this from?

>Nobles having an orgy.
They probably wouldn't even mind, just another Thursday.

Zero Time Dilemma

>seeing this, he yells "SHIT!"
>the German ambassador smiles broadly

Hey did it hurt when you fell from heaven, because if you were a booger I would turn 360 degrees and walk away.

"You remind me of fast food, because I wanna take you out. And then I wanna eat you in my car."
--David Wain

The memes must flow
God ZTD's characterization was a mess