Setting has not-vikings

>setting has not-vikings
>entire culture revolves around war
>they are great fighters

what spawned this meme? Norse weren't a fucking warrior culture and they were so garbage at fighting they couldn't deal with monastery levies in Ireland.

Other urls found in this thread:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Siege_of_Paris_(885–86)
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Battles_involving_the_Vikings
telegraph.co.uk/men/the-filter/qi/8080884/Quite-Interesting-the-QI-cabinet-of-curiosity.html
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norman_conquest_of_southern_Italy
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

Eternal Anglo got rekt by a crippled Norseman, so they portray them as fearsome warriors to make it seem less embarrassing than it actually is.

Same place that did these memes:
Frogs are bad at fighting and surrender
Spaniards are anything but psychopaths that will murder anything that moves after or during raping it

It's easy to fall back on irl for inspiration for setting flavour. Fantasy in general is an idealised medieval English clusterfuck. Not-Arabs/asians/mongols in the east, not-vikings/norse in the north.

Don't forget southern blacks and the mysterious tribal jungle natives living on a separate landmass

>Have a jungle civilization
>It's white cause don't' want to deal with politics
>get called racist anyway for it anyway due to cultural apropration.

What I don't get is why the prolific trading aspect is never represented for them. That's what they were best at in their time, not raiding the coasts.
Why is it always the imperial city style faction which has the diplomacy instead of the ones with expansive world spanning trade routes?

simple way to solve this.

give anyone who comes out with "cultural appropriation" the boot.

>setting has not-vikings
>they invade not-europe as regularly as the tides
>they're all theives and bandits

How'd I do?

It's not rape if it's a heathen.

WE WUZ DANELAWS 'N SHEET

You failed.

I bet it's Conan's fault.

He's the earliest written account of modern fantasy I can think about that combines "north", "barbarian" and "good warrior".

Now add to the fact that fantasy wrights are creatively decrepit and just regurgitate the same concepts but utterly fail to give them depth, repeat that process a few times and you end up with what you described.

Conan is based on Cetls.

Standing and fighting honorably does not inherently make you a great fighter. Coming in like lightning, going around rather than being stopped by hard targets like fortresses, seizing your objectives and then moving on before you can be crushed; that is a perfectly viable path towards greatness as a fighting force.

This banter displeases me, gabacho.

Fighting who? Unarmed farmers and monks?

>Setting analogous to 14th - 17th century Europe
>Randomly has pre-11th century Vikings jammed in

Viking knock offs/'northern warriors' are the shittiest, most entry tier fantasy culture, especially since Skyrim and Game of Thrones released the idea to the masses.

>>they are great fighters

How is that a meme? It's not like it was taken out of thin air.

The Danes conquered significant parts of England, The Swedes and Norwegians that settled in Scotland were famous as mercenaries, and norsemen made up the Varangian guard of the Byzantine emperors after norse mercenaries played a big part in some important battle or whatever.

Most viking raids were made by a small number of people so of course they're not gonna win every time and of course they're gonna focus on easy targets and unfair fights, that's just common sense.

But there are also numerous accounts of them being competent warriors in standup fights.

I knew someone will mention Varangian Guard that also had Saxons, Russians and most importantly - got rekt by turkroaches. Such viking warriors.

Also conquering a part of some country then getting decked is hardly impressive if niggers or slavs did the same everyone would call them barbarian failures but since it's scandinavians everyone dickrides for no reason then apparently losing majority of battles is amazing.

>Got rekt by turkroaches

You mean like basically every euro force that went up against them? Fucking steproaches rekt everyone dude.

The funny thing is that everyone on this board shits on Romans who are historically some of the best fighters in the world while praising the "Vikings" myth for a meme.

Citation very much needed, faggot.

See this retard, for example.

Seriously, cultural appropriation is really fucking dumb. It is trying to indice shame for creativity and interest in someone else's culture.

Also, we wuz kangz.

Conan is CIMMERIAN. IE from Anatolia.

What about the time they captured Paris?

We wuz vikingz n sheet.

Historically, Romans were the most successful. An Individual Legionnaire wasn't an AMAZING fighter, merely competent.

What about the second time they tried it and got decked?

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Siege_of_Paris_(885–86)

There we go this idiotic ''muh 1v1'' argument again. Why the holy mother of cunt fuck is every autist using individual battle prowess to measure anything if war is not about duels?

My vikings are displaced slavs who live in the woods and fight with staves because they have no iron. How am I doing?

Maybe the reason people focus on the martial virtues of the individual viking warrior is because there's nothing else to explain thier culture's successes military? They weren't hugely technologically advanced compared to their rivals, their military tactics weren't all that different to their rivals and they didn't have much manpower to draw on coming from such an inhospitable part of the world. The only thing they had going for them was being good at fighting.

Celts, or what counts for "celts" in fantasy terms, is still a people living in the northern parts of not-europe. In fact they're probably the main reason we have naked people in cold environments running around taking heads as they please in modern fantasy, because historical accounts of picts being naked are always drawn up first when people spew "muh badass noble savage" memes.

Not in the context of Conan mind you.

But they were not good at fighting.

Conan is a celt
The Vanir and Aesir are the scandies

The average soldier in the late Roman Empire/ERE had more training than US marines do, and in a wider variety of topics
The army was built around being a small but highly mobile and elite force
Even during the early empire a professional soldier had years of training under his belt an a lot of flexibility

I acknowledge that. But he's not anatolian, which is what tried to make me believe.

It doesn't change the fact that Conan is, technically speaking, from a "northern" country, and he's the epitome of the gud fightan brbrian character. As I said, people probably only took that vague description of his character and applied it badly to their own works, who in turn would be copied by other fantasy wrights and so on. Eventually, that fantasy writing seeped into the popcultural perception of historical people, which is probably where the big shift happened and why scandies get credited as superior fighters, because "comes from the north" has been drawn to its extreme.

In that case, explain how the amazing Romans got btfo by Gauls for years.

And how they lost to the Vandals.

Not a single fucking source for in anything in this thread, what a surprise.

Woah Gauls and Vandals were dueling Romans? That's some interesting historical revelation user.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Battles_involving_the_Vikings

>Think user is joking
>Go look that up
>He's not
>They've through all of history brutal murderers AND GOT AWAY WITH IT ALL
Are Spaniards the sleeping ancient evil?
And the french the ultimate warrior?

>You mean like basically every euro force that went up against them?
That's because most of them used faith as a dumpstat.

Nope, the more you learn about Spanish culture, the more you learn what a loathsome people they are

"What if I swear to you on my honor as a Spaniard?"

"No good, I've known too many Spaniards."

Even Poles rekt them so that's not an excuse.

>muh historical accuracy

No one cares.

Well other than the Normans, who were literally the army of god. Deus vult

>And the french the ultimate warrior?
telegraph.co.uk/men/the-filter/qi/8080884/Quite-Interesting-the-QI-cabinet-of-curiosity.html
>Which country is the most successful military power in European history?
>France. According to the historian Niall Ferguson, of the 125 major European wars fought since 1495, the French have participated in 50 – more than Austria (47) and England (43). Out of 168 battles fought since 387BC, they have won 109, lost 49 and drawn 10.

>"Army" of god
>Normans
Maybe if you kick all the moors from the ottoman empire.

Yet to hear a valid complain heretic. Literally did NOTHING wrong.

Honor Killings.

>There we go this idiotic ''muh 1v1'' argument again. Why the holy mother of cunt fuck is every autist using individual battle prowess to measure anything if war is not about duels?

because this is Veeky Forums

not many RPGs feature 10,000 vs 10,000 battles. what they regularly feature is 4 vs 4 or even 1 vs 1. on some level that's a gameplay thing, but on top of that, most games are placed firmly in the genre of heroic fiction, and one of the principle features of the genre is the importance of great individuals with the willpower and skill to change the world. stuff like logistics, grand strategy and sheer quantity - not so much.

so the genre is naturally attracted to cultures that have a reputation for fierce warriors who fought for individual glory, and less interested in cultures which had disciplined soldiers who fought as cogs in a well-oiled machine, even if the latter were typically more successful in real life.

>Maybe if you kick all the moors from the ottoman empire.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norman_conquest_of_southern_Italy
How about kicking kebabs out of the Pope's fucking doorstep?

Don't forget the sieges of Paris, forcing most of Western Europe to reshape society to deal with their raids, the conquest of Normandy, etc.

Vs:
The hammer of heretics, light of Trent, sword of Rome, cradle of St Ignatius, Evangelist of half of the orb.

Look, you're dick measuring with the wrong person. You've lost from minute zero.

>sieges of Paris

only the first one worked

Once. In an alliance with other central European powers. After they'd marched and fought all the way to Vienna in hostile territory.

Second one got a ton of concessions even if they didn't conquer the city.

>idealised medieval English/German clusterfuck

ftfy

...

>army of god

What is the Holy Roman Empire?

My nephew's badly managed joke of a state.

As a french"men" would say
>Holy
>Roman
>Empire

>holy
>roman
>empire

>Holy
>Roman
>Empire

>Felipe VI
>De Bourbon
>Of Spain

>The lordliest a french can aim to be is Spanish

Funny, isn't it?

>Out of 168 battles fought since 387BC
This seems like a really small number considering the huge time frame.

Because pre gunpowder era warfare was more about sieges than battles to begin with.

A failed state.

A country that was not particularly pious, did not in fact contain Italy, and was pretty fuck small.

First crusade my nigger

>A failed state
It was around for thousand of years. Wouldn't call it failed.

Also, pre-gunpowder wars (or pre-Napoleon, really) had you sometimes winning or losing a war in a single battle.

That's not really possible these days due to the massive armies we have and thus the staying power - Napoleon bragging about losing thirty thousand men a month like it ain't no thang, for instance.

>Veeky Forums thinks they know history

>M-muh f-first c-crusade!
Let's not count all the ones you lost, eh? Can't baby sit all Christianity.

And you do, oh great one?

We can thank wagner and the romantics

>implying that the Holy Roman Emperors were not the defenders of the faith

If you're white and someone pulls the cultural appropriation line on you, just inform them that your culture has been dominating and integrating elements from other cultures for thousands of years and that cultural appropriation IS your cultural heritage.

Confuses the fuckers right up.

Hahaha.
No it was a fucking trainwreck, I should've just gave myself lordship of mallorca and spend my life in the sun, nice, peaceful and warm.

this guy gets it

Even wargaming is on such a small scale (compared to historical battles) that it's about particularly cool or elite regiments. Nobody fields an entire army of hundreds of basic infantry models, even though a small cross-section selected at random from almost any army would look like that. Pike and shot era kind of counts as an exception, because of mixed units.

Whole one crusade that wasn't a failure that's really impressive.

This only works if he is western if he's a Slav then he was the one being dominated.

>explain how the amazing Romans got btfo by Gauls for years.
Kek, nice bait.

>Spaniards are anything but psychopaths that will murder anything that moves after or during raping it
That's completely untrue!

Yes, yes I do.

>English fasion : French
kek

The Punic Wars (although the 2nd is the interesting one). The Gallic Wars. The Roman-Spartan war (aka the War against Nabis).

Really, the Romans lasted for so long that they hold the record for battles won simply because they fought more battles than anybody else.

So about the time of the Gallic Wars, the romans were Dayum good at fighting.

What can I say? French are the best faction in the game even if the Spaniards have been OP since day 1. Sure they got nerfed, but they'll be back to their old levels soon. I've given up all hope that the glitch that refuses to let any buffs or patches to the Russian mind will go away.

>Norse weren't a fucking warrior culture
for example they had a religion that made them believe they would go to Valhalla if they died in battle. Every man was expected to be armed at all times. When you read their sagas, they story usually revolves around battles, duels, fighting in general. Oh yeah, they also went out and raided a bunch of places. Hmm, sounds a bit like a warrior culture to me.

>couldn't deal with monastery levies in Ireland.
oh of course, youre on of those butthurt britshits who cling on to the fact that vikings werent perfect or invincible. You win some, you lose some. Generally speaking their raids were a huge feat. Just the logistics of organizing it, going to the british isles and ruling it etc. was really something.

yeah frogs are good at fighting. just not as good as the brits

>not particularly pious
It was at some points

> did not in fact contain Italy
It did at some points


>pretty fuck small.

what? Also not what Voltaire was getting at.

The HRE Voltaire said his meme about was the Holy roman Empire of German Nation, to which it applied. The HRE is old and was sanctioned by the pope, succeeding Rome and ruled by the Emperor at multiple points in time.

>Spaniards
>OP
Baddie spotted! Keep going melee.

>just not as good as the brits (at propaganda)

Only half of the warriors who died went to Valhalla the other half went to Folkvangr and those who died from old age went to Hel's realm . Shows how much you know about them.

But that's fucking false you, britcuck.

I was giving examples. Do you know what that means..

It means im not gonna sit here and list every single aspect of their culture, religion and history. I was just making a point.

>Norse weren't a fucking warrior culture

Yes. They were. Just take a look at the pantheon and you'll see that.

And just let me ask you here, why would the emperor of the most powerful nation in the world at the time hire "garbage" warriors as bodyguards?

I'm not claiming they were the best, that'd just be stupid, but that they were universally garbage is just as bad.

>What I don't get is why the prolific trading aspect is never represented for them. That's what they were best at in their time, not raiding the coasts.
because it was british monks aka the sore losers that wrote the history books from that age, not the vikings
and in those books they did their best to vilify them

By that logic muslim countries are warrior cultures because ISIS believes blowing themselves up will grant them heaven.

>How is that a meme?
Because all ideas are memes by definition.