Tell me Veeky Forums, that's the most unrealistic & insane weapon you've invented?

Tell me Veeky Forums, that's the most unrealistic & insane weapon you've invented?

A yumi bow that can fire anything Japanese like an arrow. Being it was an urban fantasy setting, this meant it could fire toyotas, hondas, and any game console of Japanese origin. I could also fire Japanese people.

a slightly more grounded one was the Smith & Wesson 2000.

Basically a Smith & Wesson 500 designed to fire four S&W .500 cartridges at once.

Lightsaber chucks back when it still seemed original.

I have not made many magic weapons, but during a pirate-themed D&D game I gave one of the players a throwing dagger of returning.
The rouge really enjoyed it since there was no range limit and it could not be stuck. Once when the party was captured, they were able to break out thanks to the returning dagger.
Although they enjoyed the simple ability, they learned quickly that the dagger always takes the path of least resistance, and would sometimes will go through an enemy (or ally) that was between it and the owner.
When they summoned the dagger from their cell, they noticed that the dagger was covered in blood.

Dual shotgun miniguns in a standard fantasy setting.They usually were loaded with goblin baby skulls filled with gunpowder because we fought fire wizards for a long time.

The Gun. It is everything a gun is, and nothing it isn't. You point it at things, pull the trigger, a hole appears where you point, and they die.

It does not do anything else, like "miss" or "sometimes fail to kill what you point it at" or "run out of bullets."

Lightsaber Sword Chucks?

So it breaks your wrist with every shot?

Presumably, it's being used by a Glitter Boy.

Not entirely a weapon, but imagine a downwards pointed cannon that keeps shooting (not any projectiles, just ongoing downward fired explosions) with a throne attached on top, the whole thing keeping upright/moving around like a pogo stick, but fired explosions instead of a spring.

Veeky Forums ladies and gentlemen. Where the players have a problem with a 4 barrel S&W 500 and not a bow that fires Toyota Tundras.

A chair made of guns, courtesy of the Mekboy.

It was used to one-shot a boss encounter.

>your wrist
Thing would break a whole arm.

it was a freeform urban fantasy RP, my character worked in a place that sold weird magical items and shit (or just weird shit in general)

Six of them got bought up by a sapient mimic. Curiously, said character never appeared again. We joked the recoil killed them.

Dire bear machine gun.


Staff that opens a portal to a plain wherein dire bears are infinitely reproduced using the power of a necromantic reactor fed by the deaths of an entire plain (a certain version of greyhawk where no one was able to save it from acerak's final invasion)

The bears would be accelerated by a collapsed star held inside a web constructed of unwoven portable holes washed in moonlight made solid and melted with the warmth of the love of ten thousand mothers...


It fires dire bears at 3x fall damage, they may survive and maul the person on the receiving end.

May turn around and maul wielder also.

I am sorry. I am too fucking high to spell.

Or punctuate.... Shit that is a mess.

One is blatantly magical on full retard mode, you never argue with full retard.

Still, clever retort that made me chuckle.
good on you.

electric rock 'em sock 'em robot hands armed with tasers coming from a backpack.

"Come up with sword with a motorcycle throttle that makes the blade busrt into flames to do bonus damage and look badass.

>DMC steals it
>nobody believes me

A flail with a bendable tube as the chain. Inside holds the belt thats turned by the motor in the handle and makes it a Tesla Flail.

Where the fuck does the bullet fire from?

it's cool, man, I believe you.

sort of like how I had an idea for a magical girl series meant to show how scary it would be to send little girls off to fight horrible monsters and the kind of morality rates that would ensue and what godless beings would put them up to it. I even had rolled her as a city of heroes character.

Of course, my version involved Nazis and the Thule society.

You mean that thing Fallout had way before you?

Lightsaber on a whip?

>fallout invented flaming swords hurr durr

I'm pretty certain it specifically invented flaming swords built using motorcycle parts.

The space/time sword.

It's a weapon designed for fighting creatures that can regenerate or reassemble their bodies or do other nasty shit when you shop them up; whenever you dismember something living the "inert" half gets randomly thrown through space and time.

Violla; your leg is now in the Cretaceous period, and also somewhere in orbit Alpha Centauri.

>dickwaving about how you did X before Y

>wave dick about how Z did X before (You)

>throws a fit in response

Okay.

>there is now a species of trolls in Alpha Centauri because you left a severed fucking arm out there and shenanigans happened

Good fucking job, space-faring trolls will be around some day. Asshole.

A space battleship that was operated through music. The command console was a pipe organ/servitored orchestra complete with singers built into the ship.

Not implemented in a game, but still.

>city of heroes character.

Point defense cannon that mindcontrolled enemy attackers into becoming allies.

It was automatic and worked on everything that had ill intent towards the mech the system was armed on.

This was for a competition "invent something that could rival Demonbane!"

clearly both ends are light sabers and you have to hold the chain.

The bullet doesn't fire out of the gun. The ammunition instead causes the blade to be engulfed in an explosion when the trigger is pulled.

Not a weapon, but I once came up with a martial art maneuver that lets you fly. What you do is punch somebody so hard they go flying, then grab onto them so you are dragged along as well.

>what's the most unrealistic & insane weapon you've invented?
Competent female soldiers that put duty and honor first. :^)

a Minigun with a 5% chance to summon a demon during every shot. It could be a last ditch effort when you are surrounded by enemies and need some extra help, not caring wether or not that help will try to kill you later.
Still, no one used it.

Considering Jedi can canonically control their lightsabers with the force this is not an impossible weapon.

A ceiling mounted movable pipe with a diameter of about ten feet which we had gained control of using a jury rigged las gun. You needed direct line of sight to your target at which point you aimed the las gun at it, pulled the trigger and prayed you'd done it right becase the pipe was an outlet for molten slag and dealt damage in kills. It one shotted a Bloodletter on the same turn it was summoned.

I was running a vaguely steampunk superhero setting based in 1885 New York City using Aberrant because it's the only superhero game we happened to know.

A player with mega intelligence was an arms manufacturer, and had developed a gun called the overcompensator. Pic related is what it canonically looked like. (first decent result I found on google image at the time of that session) They tracked the bad guys via telepathy to their secret underground basement lair and decided to use the overcompensator to "snipe" them through the wall, floor, ground, and ceiling.

My poor villains didn't live long.

Did one shot kill everyone in the room or did it have to fire multiple times?

a '300 caliber rifle'
i have no idea if he actually meant 300 caliber, 30 caliber, 3 caliber, or .300, but i like to think that he somehow had a 25ft wide rifle.

dumbest things i've made personally are stuff like gunspears - spears with integrated muskets, either inside the haft or adjacent to it, and a chainsaw that had the beefiest shotgun mounted to the side of it.

that's so fucking dumb i love it

the 300 caliber rifle was something somebody else made up, by the way, not me
turns out i misread the op
oh well

>spears with integrated muskets

Why not just fix a bayonet to a musket?

ITT We show how ...

We don't know that the bullets for a gunblade are magic.

We think that FF8 was actually good and not total bollocks. (Enemies are based upon average party lvl, the plot was re-written several times and consequently stuff happens like Rinoa getting introduced twice or the Garden battle being one of three fun moments in the game, that Square thought removing weapons and equipment almost entirely was a good idea, that Ultimecia's final plan to destroy the past/future makes any sense etc)

That we think FFXV will still remain a great game after Square took it away from Tetsuya Nomura and gave it to the team that brought us FFXIII.

Squirrel rounds.

But gunspears were historically used, for example for hunting boar.

FF8 was really enjoyable IMO. I liked the battle system, and wasn't bothered by the lack of vendor trash. I didn't have a problem with scaling enemies either since mindless grinding is my least favourite part of final fantasies.

Now FF10, that was crap.

The Black Hole Sword

Had a standard Fighter from a fantasy setting thrown into a Sci-Fi setting where he needed equipment for some adventuring. He learned about black holes and thought that was the coolest shit ever, so he wanted to put one into his sword. It was supposed to have one of those fancy guns at the hilt that would shoot out the higgs radiation of a mini black hole.

Needless to say, it didn't work. But the mage got inspired to integrate a device into the sword that could coat it with strong, but short-lived enchantments. It could also be over-charged to basicly turn the sword into a giant chaotic light saber that would throw plasma anywhere.

Slapping magic on a stupid concept doesn't mean there's nothing to complain about. Sure, most people won't think that much about it, but if it's a core element of the narrative, it should be explained with more depth than a single word.

Also, wasn't XV given to the guy who did type-0? Anyway, with the frankenstein's that is Kingdom Hearts I'm not complaining that Nomura is out, the project is already late without every game only getting the equivalent plot of a single ttrpg session.

A backpack weapon which sandblasts people with decaying body-slurry.

Only if they can deal with the mind worms.

DId the character with the bow had a quiver where I stocked his car and japanese item?

So were gun blades, for secessionists.

And let us not start with the goddamn Italians.

>(Enemies are based upon average party lvl, the plot was re-written several times and consequently stuff happens like Rinoa getting introduced twice or the Garden battle being one of three fun moments in the game, that Square thought removing weapons and equipment almost entirely was a good idea, that Ultimecia's final plan to destroy the past/future makes any sense etc)

An AA Gauge belt-fed shotgun using 00 buck shot as the load. Pic related is basically what it did.

Are you some kind of pleb?

Shit, *00 buck pellets as the load

Sooo, kinda like this.

It would however by FAR to heavy to put on a whip, even with force powers.

Sure, if the barrel was 4 inches wide and the shells contained at least 219 ounces of lead. Basically, I created a belt-fed, automatic, 4 inch navel gun that only fired grapeshot.
>Dick status: Muh

Yeah, that's why you fire it with both hands on the grip like any other pistol, idiots.

You have never fired a horse pistol like that have you? Best case it pops out of your grip and goes spinning over your sholder or into your face. (Gif related) Worst case you hold on tight and it jams or breaks one or both your wrists. Even a big guy would have trouble handling the recoil of four of those thumb sized slugs screaming out of that thing at 900FPS+.

Think before you talk shit user.

>boomerang that only returns to other people
>staff that can control it's own weight
>machete that can cut a hole into hell
>a chaingun set up that fires literal chains and tears people apart
>knuckledusters with small hooks on the end, i thought that was a genuinely cool idea though
>sword that turns all water into poison on impact (pc fell into a river wearing that on his belt once)
>arrows that teleport victim to a random place
>explosive flail with a 20 foot chain
>bullets that constantly release acidic gas
>spear that is literally lighter than air
Few dumbass weapons and stuff I've made for our campaign

Having fired one, they're not all that bad in terms of recoil.
You usually see small little girls who can't hold the pistol right losing it like that gif.
Still, 4 at a time would be a pain, but not damaging to a wrist as strong as Veeky Forums's from all the practice they get with it.
I mean you faggots masturbate a lot.

Elastic rocket-assisted barbed bolas, deployed via slingshot.
The idea is that the rocket assist would draw out the elastic as it wrapped around someone, the barbs would set, the rockets cut out, and then the elastic would crush the limbs and dig the barbs in deeper.
In practice it mostly just painfully bludgeoned people and ripped a whole bunch of ears and fingers off.

Lightsaber chain whip would be pretty cool.

Shut up, John.

(When will we get back to Sakura "More Overcharge than Hit Points" Mitsuhide?)

Well now, I know what my tech-head character in a bud's sci-fi is going to build towards.

Weeaboo Jones? How did he get here?

>masturbation requires great wrist strength

when will this meme finally end?

Masturbation is wrist exercise is more the joke.
I think. That you should have a strong wrist after jerking it to you're waifu 20 times a day.

What the heck am I looking at? Please explain how this thing works

Could be worse, could have gone with slug rounds

Double sided lance-sword that is also a longbow.

It's regarded as fucking whacky even in-setting, but it was made by a progenitor race using materials and techniques now lost, so it's actually functional due to the odd properties of the metals. But only if you have wings, otherwise it's garbage because it's like 10 feet long.

>dumbest things i've made personally are stuff like gunspears - spears with integrated muskets
Evidently some people in history were just as dumb as you.

There is no bullet. Pulling the trigger at the moment of impact sets off the shell. The explosion causes the blade to vibrate and cut deeper. If you are unskilled, you fire too early or too late and get no benefit.

Jedi can literally boomerange their lightsabers and throw around starfighters, and as Yoda once said "Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you? And well you should not, for my ally is the Force."

It was full of tentacle hentai magazines.

Explosive cestus was pretty cool.
You punch shit and the explosion goes outward from your fist.
I tried using it in a room full of methane.
It didn't end very well.

You did fine user

Lies don't make you less full of shit user.

>am not john
>but that creepy feel when the character's name was Sakura

no one seemed interested in buying the bow.

to be fair, there seemed a point in history where people thought to try to stick guns on everything. Including forks and knives.

But yeah, Gun spears aren't honestly a bad idea as the bayonet proves.

Fists. Tired of Monks and other meme classes being able to punch through steel because "LE TRANSCENDENCE XD"

Flesh ain't shit against steel.

Are you also tired of people wanting martials to be able to stand up to casters?

Balance doesn't actually make sense.

A rocket launcher that fires chainsaw-wielding owlbears.

The stats for owlbears are here:

Size/Type: Large Magical BeastHit Dice: 5d10+25 (52 hp)Initiative: +1
Speed: 30 ft. (6 squares)
Armor Class: 15 (-1 size, +1 Dex, +5 natural), touch 10, flat-footed 14
Base Attack/Grapple: +5/+14
Attack: Claw +9 melee (1d6+5)
Full Attack: 2 claws +9 melee (1d6+5) and bite +4 melee (1d8+2)
Space/Reach: 10 ft./5 ft.
Special Attacks: Improved grab
Special Qualities: Scent
Saves: Fort +9, Ref +5, Will +2
Abilities: Str 21, Dex 12, Con 21, Int 2, Wis 12, Cha 10
Skills: Listen +8, Spot +8
Feats: Alertness, Track
Environment: Temperate forests
Organization: Solitary, pair, or pack (3-8)
Challenge Rating: 4
Treasure: None
Alignment: Always neutral
Advancement: 6-8 HD (Large); 9-15 HD (Huge)
Level Adjustment: —

Sledge-hammer with landmines strapped to it.
Came up with that shit in middle-school

Son, not sure if you're aware of this but the hierarchy of game design is: FUN >>>>>>>>>> balance > realism.

Balance is important to fun, and realism can be part of fun, in the end, if people are not able to enjoy themselves, why play?

Let's see...
>Dual-scythe that can break apart into two kami
From my edgy teen years, retarded in that scythes are made to sweep, not spin around, so a blow would sort of graze over your skin, killing you in 10 years from tetanus rather than on the battlefield.
>A katana with a built-in spring-loaded katana
Born from messing around in chummer and realizing there are no rules against stuffing a sword inside a sword, as long as it has capacity.
The group said it would be more like Sundowner's scissor-cleavers, but I like my interpretation better.
>A spear
Retarded within the setting rather than functionality.
It's made from an alloy of a matieral that reflects magic and one that attracts it. The logic behind it is that it would basically steal and trap magical energy that it touches.
But it seems to be more likely to fucking explode if you stab a wizard or something, not to mention forging such an alloy would also be explosive.

1)

A meka rifle that used liquid ammunition:

The 'rifle' was conventional in that is fired caseless bullets with a chemical charge. The 'magic' was the ammo feed system. The mech carried a large hopper of low melting point metal solution the was tube feed to the chamber.

In the chamber a pair of 'converter rings' inducing a small change in the chemical configuration of the liquid and a magnetic field would shape a round. as it passed out of the second ring it would 'freeze' instantaneously already attached to an explosive charge. it was then funneled to the barrel and discharged.

2)

Super rail gun

Thing the rail gun from Titanfall but with ammunition encased in unstable conductive coating that sublimes as it travels down the channel eliminating the need for a sabo.

It could be fired with a capacitor or a compulsator depending on the users preference.

3)

Annihilation sword,

book of vile darkness+fortuitously captured winter wight soul+magic channeling metal+being "honed" on a literal sphere of annihilation+a shard of Tarasque carapace+Dumb luck

=" I accidentally epic magic"

Well I didn't actually invent it, my players did.

They captured a baby white dragon, and tied it to a crossbow. Every time they set it and fired, the bow string would slap the dragon's balls and cause it to use it's breath attack. Baby white dragon shotgun.