Warmaster Horus himself as chosen you to be his first victim in his path to destroy the Imperium again! But the Emperor...

Warmaster Horus himself as chosen you to be his first victim in his path to destroy the Imperium again! But the Emperor has sent you a weapon that you can use to fight Horus back! Are you going to survive the encounter?

miniwargaming.com/deathwatch_itemgenerator

>Flamer
>Additional Traits: Instant Death, Scoped (+1 BS), Rending
I don't think that this going to matter too much as Horus is stronk.

>Heavy Bolter with Ignores Cover

I'm fucked, but I might be able to scratch some paint from his armor if I'm insanely lucky.

Sorry about that,

>Ork Choppa

>S User, AP -

>Additional Traits: Tesla

Whelp, i'm fucked aren't I?

>Eldar Witchblade
>Lexicanum Only. S User, AP -, Armourbane, Fleshbane
>Additional Traits: Thrown (One Use Only - Weapon becomes Ranged (8")), Unrefined (-1 S)
Hurl it at him & run to obtain something better.

Hey, I'm the flamer guy. Maybe you, me, and the heavy bolter dude can try to gang up on Horus so our efforts are equally pathetic by themselves.

Ok, picture this, 3 space maries (or guardsmen I don't care) where 1 is armed with a flamer that has a scope, another is just holding an ork choppa with a testa coil ductaped on, and one with a heavy bolter.

Hopefully the sight of it makes Horus not take us seriously and murderize us too soon.

Power Maul

Additional Traits: Timewarp (+1 I), Gauss

Tell my parents I love them, lads.

>Cyclone Missile Launcher

>Additional Traits: Refined (+1 S), Interceptor
Oh boy!

He would probably chuckle and say something in the line of: "I'll kill you lot last"

>Hellfire Shells

Ok does someone have a gun I put these in?

That gives us enough time to prepare for the brutalizing to come. Aim for the face.

A custard pie. Thrown right at his fat stupid face, while shouting "FOR DA EMPRAA!"

>Power Maul

>Additional Traits: Fleshbane

Still fucked, but I can maybe give him a headache or something before he shreds me to pieces

Can I just team up with you three? I got a big hammer.

Give it to the Heavy Bolter guy. He needs them more than you.
At this rate everyone needs to gang up on him until someone brings in something good or hilariously OP.

Well I got a soul razor Meltagun with +1 Strength and Phasing Hits... so... I suppose that's about as good as I'm going to get, provided he gives me a free shot.

Power Fist

Additional Traits: Soulrazor (Ld test for each Wound or be removed from play)

This might give me a chance...

>Necron Tesseract Labyrinth

>One use only. Instead of close combat attacks use this. Choose model in base contact. Target must take a Wound Test or Remove From Play.

Well, that's certainly a way to do it.

>Locator beacon
Can I join you guys or am I too pathetic?

Hey don't worry, I need ablative wounds to form a tarpit so I'll team up with my soul razing Meltagun.

Combi grav

Additional Traits: Sniper, Tank Hunter

We need something to give our remains' location away.
These guys seem like the likeliest winners.

Plasma cannon

Additional Traits: Instant Death, Force

Ok this MIGHT give him a fleshwound

I'm just imagining a chapter of space marines armed with necron, eldar, ork and imperial weaponry.

So when does the inquisition kill us all off?

>So when does the inquisition kill us all off?

Why do you think we got the mission to kill Horus

Chainsword

Additional Traits: Refined (+1 S), Haywire, Tank Hunter

>scoped flamethrower

Seriously, this. MUH PENITENT CRUSADE!

C’Tan Phase Sword

Melee Weapon. S User, AP 2, Phasing Hits (To Wounds of 6 ignore Invulnerable Saves, and cause Instant Death).

BRING IT!!

They'd have to go through Horus first. I think that they'd let it slide considering who we're going to attempt to use it on.
Or this.
For when you have to find any small details before you get up close and personal.

>Auspex

Well, according to my Auspex scanner he is just a few meters in front of us, and he is closing in.

>Tau Heavy Rail Rifle

>Terminators Only. 60", S 8, AP 1, Heavy 1

>Additional Traits: Soulrazor (Ld test for each Wound or be removed from play), Armourbane, Twin-Linked

Bah gawd.

>Iron Halo

Lets fucking do this

>Shotgun

>Additional Traits: Poisoned, Torrent (Non-flamer weapons add 12" to their range)

Thank the God-Emperor they taught us kiting in the Progenium.

Speaking as Heavy Bolter guy, I deem you just pathetic enough to join our crew of misfit lunatics. Welcome aboard!

Noone is more pathetic than me!

fuck forgot the name

>Ork Choppa
>S User, AP -
>Additional Traits: Unwieldy, Monster Hunter
Based Orks, I knew they'd come through. Stand aside lads.

LEAVE HORUS TO ME

Our merry band of misfits actually has something of a chance now.

>Auspex
Gee, thanks Empy. Guess i'm expected to hack his armor or some shit.

Power Maul

Additional Traits: Blind, Specialist Weapon

Ok, I have 1 question. First, excluding the fact that I might not be able to wield it, HOW CAN A FREAKING GIANT HAMMER BE BLIND?! DOES IT MAKE ME BLIND INSTEAD?

>Cyclone Missile Launcher
>Additional Traits: Scoped (+1 BS), >Master-crafted, Quickened (+1 A)

So, is this now a group of misfit Space Marines go off to slay Horus thread now? Because I'm down for that.

>Ork Power Klaww - Sx2, AP 1, Unwieldy
As long as Horus roll some shitty dice I should be alright!

> But the Emperor has sent you a weapon that you can use to fight Horus back!
> Teleport Homer
I don't know, but I have faith.

We should get a drawfag in here

Thunderhammer with fleshbane and poisoned. Can I join guys?

>Lascannon
>Additional Traits: Blunted Range (-6" Range), Rending

Hmm.
Hmmmmm.
Hmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Welp, I'm fucked.

Are you still taking applicants? If I'm to die, I wish it to be surrounded by people equally as crazy as myself.

Sure thing.
I think that would take way to long.

Hmm, that weapon may do actual damage to the Warmaster, and as such my not be pathetic enough to join our merry band. What say you my brothers?

Flamer Guy here. Applicants are still being taken in.
I'd say let him in.

>Blunted Range

I deem you adequately pathetic, welcome brother!

I am pretty sure I am used as bait for an ambush. What an holy duty.

What use can I do if we work as a team?

What we'll all do brother. Attack him all at once and hope the combined weight of our pathetic-ness will destroy this great evil!

Dark Eldar Shadow Field

2+ invulnerable, but the first failed invulnerable save destroys this wargear
I juke him until space mehreens arrive.

Everyone who has ranged weapons should just open fire on him. Once we're out of ammo, and he's losing his sides from that display you melee Gitz should start wailing on him. He'll either be softened up from the barrage a little, laughing too hard to focus on the you guys, or he dies from laughter.

I would like to join this space marine equivalent to Bad company, and I will submit

>EMP Grenades

As my résumé.

Let's hope the Warmaster is secretly a robot.

> Melta Bombs

For the Emperor, may he receive me to his side in death.

If I hit him in the head, the light from my shot might blind him for a few moments, then you can rush in and hack at his knees.

Never noticed he had an eye on his crotch

It'll probably mess with his armor a little.

second item

>Boltgun

>Additional Traits: Soulraze

Thats about how Horus died last time

Now lets mathhammer everything we got so far and see if we'll at least ruined his paintjob.

And now I know where to direct all of my fire, thanks!

Fear denies faith

I just put up a request on the Drawthread, so hopefully something will come of that.

You have to sneak up on him from behind and stick them in his pooper.

Necron Tesla Carbine

24", S 5, AP -, Assault 1, Tesla

Additional Traits: Gets Hot, Concussive, Torrent (Non-flamer weapons add 12" to their range)

wha the

Eldar Webway Portal

Gain Deep Strike. Will not scatter when arriving. Can bring up to two other models with him and arrive as a "unit"

RUN NIGGERS RUUUUUUN

This seems pretty good but how do I get up to him without him shooting me?

>inb4 hurr phoneposter

>teleport homer
fug
Terminators incoming

Are they fitted for a standard Mars Pattern Heavy Bolter?

Power fist, Instant death.

The emperor wants me to nip this in the bud before shit gets out of hand, and I shall oblige

Lascannon with extended rifle, rending and refined

Every Marine of sufficiently pathetic armaments are more than welcome to join this mad Crusade brother!

A lot of these results have soul razor. I guess if it worked before it'll work again.

Power Fist

Additional Traits: Quickened (+1 A), Thrown (One Use Only - Weapon becomes Ranged (8"))

HOY HOY HOY

>power fist
>thrown

ROCKET PUNCH!

wew lad

>Lightning Claw
>Additional Traits: Soulrazor (Ld test for each Wound or be removed from play)
I presume he has a shitload of Ld.

Be the bait for all the fags that got shitty weapons to ambuhs horus.

>Plasma cannon

>Additional Traits: Concussive, Lance

Could be worse, I might get lucky and actually slow him down to an extent perceptable to your average Space Marine, Or I could get even luckier and just blow myself up firing at him.

>Necron Tesla Carbine

>24", S 5, AP -, Assault 1, Tesla

>Additional Traits: Torrent (Non-flamer weapons add 12" to their range), Blind

>Locator Beacon
>Additional Traits: None

I'm screwed.

Not once you stand with the Pathetic Marines brother!

>Eldar D-Scythe with Tesla and Pinning
Thanks, Emps! Kinda weird giving me a xenos weapon, though.

Maybe I can throw it at him and give him a nice bruise on his exposed cranium before I get torn into bloody pieces.

user, we have Gitz with Cron, Ork, and Eldar weapons. Join the club.

I don't even think I can possibly hurt that monstrous son of a bitch with this Heavy Bolter Guy am I in?

Grav-gun with ignore cover
Does that even do anything?

Of course brother! The Emperor has ordained us all with this holy task, and each of us Pathetic Marines has his part to play!

(OOC would anyone like to hear the headcannon I'm writing for these guy's as the thread goes on?)

Sure, share it!

Brothers! I wish to crusade with you all!

> Grav-pistol
> Additional Traits: Twin linked, Armourbane

>Lightning Claw
>Armourbane and Rending
Thanks Emperor

Awesome, I'll get that up right now.

Thank you, Glorious Battle Brother

GATHER ROUND MY BROTHERS AND HEAR THE TALE OF THE EMPERORS LEAST FAVORED SONS, THE HEROS KNOWN AS THE THE PATHETIC MARINES:

None know when the call came, only that it did. It was said that across the galaxy, for the Damocles Gulf to the Eye of Terror, that the Emperors Angles of Death beheld a vision of their long dead lord. That the Emperor would speak to His greatest warriors on such a scale was unheard of, and one would think that His stagnated Imperium would weep with joy. This was not the case, for those He spoke to were not believed until it was far to late for them to explain. For while the Emperor spoke to each Chapter of His Space Marines, only one amongst each of them was so blessed. And He did not speak to the greatest of them, nor to the wisest. Not the strongest, or the most cunning. Not the fastest or the bravest. No, the Emperor of All Mankind, in all of His benevolence and boundless wisdom, spoke to the lowliest and least memorable of His Marines, the one most pathetic of each Chapter. It will never be known what the Emperor said His most Pathetic Sons, but from their battle cries and snatched bits of Vox communications, we can devise the Knowledge that was bestowed upon them.

(Good so far? Don't worry, I've got more left.)