In our region, a human or an animal has not fallen ill for three centuries nor are any monsters nearby...

>All the humans and animals and monsters died long ago
>We ourselves are a sentient hivemind disease inhabiting the corpses
>Care for a spot of perfume?

>a human or an animal has not fallen ill for three centuries
There is exactly one human, or one animal, which has not fallen ill in that time.

>...our region is empty. There's nobody there and we ourselves choose to live far away for that reason, even though we own the place.

>... our region is a small, sealed room that no humans or animals can enter that was built three centuries ago.

The goddess of life has taken permanent domain at the center of our region over 300 years ago.

>pure coincidence.

That doesn't really seem so bad as far as curses go. I mean it's better than everything you eat turning into ash in your mouth or dying if you don't perform some specific task every once in a while

>we are a tribe of murderous vegan elves that kill anything that isn't a plant. Speaking of which...

we elected trump/pence in 2016 and they fixed everything. It was outstanding.

>we are one, be one with us

>We have mastered ecology to the point where even the simplest organisms and viral parasites are in perfect harmony.

...

that's how you get Locate-City Nuked.

>Literaly Britain

More like the USA.

In Britain you get free healthcare.

Literally North Korea, where being ill or sick is a willful act of defeiance against the will of the People.

nice wait times and cancer survival rates. socialized medicine is shit.

"a wizard did it"

I've never heard anyone scream about wait times in socialist countries that wasn't significantly shorter than the wait times for anything in the US.

We found deaths anti-fetish, he won't come anywhere near here as long as we keep doing that thing with the cheese

>we gave up masturbation long ago. Turns out it's secretly evil. Who knew?

Everyone's just going to ignore this guy, then? I found it funny

That just stopped all the villagers going blind

The problem is that things don't stop being born, nor do they stop growing.

We the people of this land have recognized this, and our population is steady; but the plants and animals? Not so much.

Please help us, the walls groan under the weight of weeds and vine; there are hordes of boars in the thousands that move as though they were a wave; the flies blot out the sun; the water is more fish than water.

Please help us.

you haven't been listening

Something to do with Power Rangers because that's fucking Bulk.

Because IT JUST WORKS

>we've just been super lucky.

Weird shit just happens sometimes.

Can't get sick if you're already dead!

>>In our region, a human or an animal has not fallen ill for three centuries nor are any monsters nearby. The reason for this, dear adventurers is that __________________________.

We are plant hybrids who photosynthesize and get our nutrients from the sun,soil and water.
Even our animals are part plant.

>We have reclassified the meanings of sickness, death and monsters so as to not offend anyone.

>they hacked into the morphing grid.

>we send all the sick people to be eaten by monsters one region over

there is an episode of Deep Space Nine about this

Our last hired a relatively large group of former adventurer that work with the kingdom, with Clerics casting cure disease on those who come in with any disease that would spread and cast Glyphs of Warding on the gates in the wall surrounding the kingdom.

*last King, casting Glyphs of Warding

It's been in a time stasis, Ala sleeping beauty.

>we all eat poop so as to absorb all the nutrients from our food.

>we are elves.

You also didn't hear about how the hostages those dune coons took in the Bataclan had their balls cut off and stuffed in their mouths until eight months after the fact. Can't have the peasants realizing how horrible things actually are.

good god man.

*audibly sweats*

I PUT IN WORK AND IT'S ALL FOR THE KIDS

Obviously not to you. I live in the US and if you don't live in a small town the wait for good medicine sucks

The land is the special domain of the goddess of healing. Anyone who steps foot on it is instantly cured of all diseases, free from all curses, and restored to youthful vigor. The effect is so strong that no creatures primitive enough to lack language will enter it voluntarily. However, exposure to the blessing rapidly destroys the immune system. Anyone who remains on the land for longer than a day will become unable to ever leave it. For that reason its inhabited almost exclusively by people with terminal illnesses who miss their families and their old lives.

This isn't Facebook or /b/

You don't need to announce you liked something or post an ugly reaction picture

>a secret society of alchemists pour elixir of life in the water

one very exhausted cleric

>We dont let the horseback marauders in.

we are all undead

>we're all imaginary characters living in the imagination of some guy sitting at a table with dice and papers. We can be anything he wants us to be, even the little girl.

>A resident immortal attained knowledge of "The Fourth Wall" and has been bribing the "Gee-Em" for three centuries. I don't know what they mean, but they find a lot of amusement in telling me about it anyway.

Do the animals and plants just regenerate when you hack them up? Export them for food. People would pay top dollar for corn that can be eternally harvested, or a cow that can be slaughtered every day for generations.

Of course, this is only a temporary solution, and wouldn't defeat vermin, but it would at least make your country a hefty sum of money with which to pay mercenaries to go out and break your curse.

We already tried; no force can harm or sicken anything born within these lands.

The vines areally as green buried 10 feet under their siblings as they are on top.

The boars trample over one another, rising up like a great wave, but they get up with nary a scratch or lost tuff of fur.

The banks of our lake are covered with feet of beached fish, thrown out of the water by their comrades. They still flip and flounder.

We know this because one of our towns men was caught under a boar horde, and he could feel every strike with clear pain, but not a sliver of skin nor a strand of hair was ruined.

We cannot even weave new clothes, for our cotton cannot be plucked!
We have gone without local food for years, and can survive without eating, but we feel hunger all the same.

Everyone is a Paladin.

>"Our region" is the name of the afterlife in our religion. Please help all of our sick people.

But why would that keep the monsters out? Surely she would want the variety of life brought by lots of weird creatures running around!

Eh, most of the issues with the NHS are the usual strains of an aging population and over a decade of gross conservative mismanagment in an attempt to undermine popular faith in the NHS so as to make it politically possible to privatise it.
When it isn't being actively sabotaged, publicly own healthcare is much more effective than any private system and have the added bonus of not financially destroying anyone who has the poor fortune to get ill/injured.

AHHHHHHHHHHH.

Wasn't this one a greentext houseruled (or 3rd part) monster?

>curse of vitality
>all living things born or spawned within the cursed region cannot die, cannot wither or sicken, cannot be shedded, sheared, reaped, or flayed, will grow until their biological prime, and will continue to grow from there, but not mature, within that region.
>sheep will become immobile under the mass of their wool
>trees will continue to grow forever until their own weight displaces the earth beneath them, but they will not splinter or crack
>the land will slowly become covered in an organic film, as microorganisms breed without check
>cattle shall grow horns so long that they are pinned under their weight
>people will indefinitely grow nails and hair, trapped in the cage of their own bodies, unable to trim themselves
>removing organisms from that region will lift the curse from them until they return.

>...is that SKUB has been banned from the region.

>Borderlands predominately filled with restaurants, spas, and barbers.
>Region basically engulfed in strip malls.

>If a socialist plan fails, it's because of capitalists/conservatives/meanies.

It keeps happening.

theguardian.com/society/2015/aug/25/gp-appointment-waiting-times-in-us-worse-than-nhs

Bearing in mind this is the same NHS that our conservative government has been trying to undermine for years now.

This NHS?

independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/nhs-uk-now-has-one-of-the-worst-healthcare-systems-in-the-developed-world-according-to-oecd-report-a6721401.html

There's an SCP of this I'm pretty sure. Or at least the people in the town are like this.