So going without toilet paper sucks... hopefully we can get some reapirs at our next destination.... whatever that is...
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FAQ:
>What the fuck is this?
Somewhat a campaign of crack-infused free-form roleplay in the grim darkness of the far future.
>When do you guys make these threads?
Usually mondays at 4PM GMT, but they sometimes extend to Tuesdays if we got caught in the middle of something when the thread died and it was too late to make another one the same day.
>Can I join in?
Sure, just think of a character and have fun, you can find most info in 1d4chan albeit it's ussually a little bit out of date in comparison to where the threads are.
>Is there any requirement in character creation.
Not really, we've had Xeno infiltrators, Chaos infiltrators, Villains, Heroes, Normal Guardsmen, Crazed Guardsmen, Assassins, Psykers, Space Marines, Inquisitors, Squats... just think whathever and join the fun.
>Is it allowed to have more than a single character?
Yes as long as you don't use it to powerplay.
>So how you guys do the playan'?
We tend to use spoilers for OOC chat, but nothing is set in stone.
We tend to use greentexts for describing a character's actions, but again nothing is set in stone.
Use d20s for combat checks and d100s for other things you want to roll, higher Is better.
It's important to know that the regiment is now in the employ of a radical Ordo Xenos Inquisitor, with influence from an Ordo Malleus Inquisitor and under the watch of an Ordo Hereticus Inquisitor. Yes we've been through a lot of shit.
Inquisitorial Penal Regiment Veeky Forums: No more TP Edition
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Yeah, what is our next mission anyway?
Now that all we have to do is drinking games in the canteen this might be rather insufferable
So... does anybody happen to know where we're going? Hopefully it's a tropical world by the name of Alshaeri. I went there last time I was on shore leave. And it isn't too far from here either!
>finishes his experiment and makes a lengthy log entry
... And thus I conclude the resulting alloy did not share the psycoreactive properties of wraithbone, despite almost a third of it consisting of highly reactive materials.
reposting due to thread getting archived just after I sent this post
I hope it's not a certain agri world
Adept. Do you have any idea where we're going? I'm hopeing the navigator didn't lie to me, and we actually are going to Alshaeri. It'd be nice for the men to get a few days of shore leave while we get some repairs.
>reads over shoulder using camera
>Larrs is in his private quarters practising the violin by himself
>youtube.com
you quiet down! You're dead and being shot out of a cannon as soon as we exit the warp!
no I'm not my body is who did you think helping the fledgling AI?
"Forget I asked."
"Leave it as for now, I need to think about this. And keep a watch on it."
>You were locked out
"Ok, so some lucky soldier gets to manually distribute TP to every head on this ship. Who wants the Job?"
time for me to punch out guys.
Understood.
>It just stands there, staring it's guards once more.
I have not been informed of the destination, sadly.
>There are notes of multiple attempts at creating a material similar to wraithbone, so it can be molded and controlled to some extent by the very thought of the user
>there are also detailed notes under "Halo Device: First effects"
forgot my nametag... Typical.
Well.......situation seems to be in control here. We'll head for Praetoria then. Try not to let them break your ship Greely.
>Alice marches back through the Corridors of the ship to the Thunderhawk and boards, then waits for LIX.
Well then. Let's hope the Navigator didn't lie and we're actually headed for Alshaeri!
>Follows in closely.
>As the Navigator had said. The ship would be deposited from the warp around the orbit of a small planet covered almost entirely in blueish green water.
>Only one small landmass (roughly the size of England) can be seen from orbit. Itself covered in light jungles and mountains.
>Numerous smaller island would dot the waters across the planet. But none of them more then five or six miles.
>This would be the tropical paradise planet of Alshaeri. A world with barely 2.3 million people.
Well boys... I guess we're here. Maybe the Inquisitors will deem it 'necessary' to head down to the surface for some 'mandatory' patrols. If you catch my drift. After all, I think we deserve it!
does urr, that mean we get a holiday?
>he's smiling smugly
>Once the pair are onboard, the 'Hawk heads over to the Malleus Benedictus, which it's self enters the Warp, headed for Praetoria.
>As soon as said ship leads the Warp there, the very same Thunderhawk departs with the pair onboard and lands at the Wellesley estate.
>A Land Rover is waiting to take the pair to the house proper, where they are both ushered to rooms to don Dress Uniforms.
Any idea what's going on? This looks like something important.
No, no, no. It's not a 'holiday' it's a 'mandatory patrol near the beaches of Shandha'
>He would make sure to add on the air quotes to certain words.
Otherwise we can't go down there Mot. Also Mot. Keep Miranda out of trouble when were down there... if I hear ANYTHING out if the ordinary. I'm going to assume it's her, or something just as bad.
I can guarantee it now, something is going to ruin our 'patrol'
>nods grimly
I'll make sure to keep her in check
20 thrones on it being a Xenos invasion.
50 thrones on traitor infiltraion
No idea luv', all they said was get the Grav-Pistol, the Powersabre and don't get dirt on anything.
>The pair are again ushered, this time to a staff car that takes them to a rather plain, but obviously heavily reinforced building.
Well this isn't ominous at all. Maybe I -did- break something.
>Looking up towards the ceiling as the group makes their way towards the hanger bay. Malak puts his hands together and begins to pray
Please let it be Tau, please let it be Tau! Or Eldar! Eldar are easy to deal with! Anything but heretics!
>Holds her hand.
I am not sepparating from you.
you think it'll be heretics again? we have had a lot lately haven't we?
I want Eldar, just to see how they react to Larrs to be honest...
>he's smirking
Which would be worse
Traitors or greenskins
>The young first lieutenant would chuckle at this.
Agreed. But it would be funnier if it turns out they're either here to relax, or if they were from his craftworld.
traitors, I hate shooting people, even if they are tainted...
if they're here to relax can we please have a live and let live policy? and if they're from his craftworld we might be in trouble.
Either would be terrible. To be honest Augue.
>The Lt, would begin directing men and woman clad only in bathing suits towards the various dropships waiting to ferry them towards one of the planets thousands of nearly deserted islands for their 'patrol'
But I doubt the orks would ever come here. No real resources for it. Just beautiful oceans. Warm sun. And wonderful beaches. Well that. And the orbital shipyard above the planet
But that's about it!
I'll come down with you fellas later
Me and my boys are going to come down with our cannons
>"I'm afraid that you will have to, there are certain matters that do not allow one not of the Ordo to be present. It shouldn't take long."
>The voice belongs to none other than Alan Wellesley.
>He leads the pair inside the building......which rapidly shows it's self as belonging to the Inquisition, as evidenced by the Stormtroopers stationed every few meters.
>He stops at a door and gestures for Alice to join him there.
>Alice herself nods, gives LIX a hug and gently coaxes her to release her hand.
I'll be okay love, I have a good feeling.
>Alice would then head inside once her hand was freed.
Like HELL you are! You're NOT fishing g with those things!
Like hell I am
I couldnt stand not being on the same planet as these old beauties. Me and my boys have been with them for the last ten years, and we aint gonna leave any time soon
>She tightens the hug. A lot.
I-if this is an inquisitorial set-up to get rid of you just scream and I kill everyone involved. T-they're not harming you on my watch.
>She then kisses Alice before letting her go.
Good luck in there... I love you...
Throne dammit! Fine! But I'm keeping g the keys on me! And no bringing any shells either! Don't want to start a fucking panic
No promises are made about shells.
Other than that, we shall have fun
>Half an hour passes.
>Alice is still in the room.
>Two squads of Stormtroopers also march towards the room, but as opposed to serious or stern, they seem......happy about something.
>It's not a malicious happy, just a normal happy.
Alright then troopers! We're on a tight schedule! The Tech-priests that are working on the ship say we have two, maybe three days before the ship is fully repaired, and we can once again have automatic flushing as well as dispensable toilet paper! So let's use this time for oursel- I MEAN! to patrol the planet below!
>With that, he would signal the pilots to deploy when ready.
>A moment later, dozens of dropships would lift off of the hanger decks, and would make their way planet side.
I wonder what the Inquisitors are doing?
>Confused and not relieved at all. Waiting impatiently for Alice's return.
heading off now lads, night
>One of the Stormtroopers sidles over.
>"You should relax ma'am, it's just standard procedure, they don't let just anybody in when they have to speak about the 'Malleus stuff', you know?"
Night bro.
>Still on guard.
>Also very paranoid.
>Really felt like the stormie was going to engage her and almost unsheathed her phase blade against him.
>But then he talked.
...
O...oh...
Malleus talk?
>Her stance instantly relaxed a lot.
I think I understand why are we here now.
>After a short time, the transport would make planet fall among a wide open area on one of the southern most islands. A single mountainous peak rising from the center of it, with white sandy beaches surrounding it.
>As soon as the doors had opened up, troopers would begin rushing out. Not towards war, but towards FUN!!!
who exactly is still here?
I am, hardly though, will go to bed soon.
>"Mhm."
>15 minutes later, Alice steps out of the room, grasping a new Rosette and a new Bolter, which is covered in engravings and looks rather shiny.
So....um....I got a promotion. Uh......that happened. Need to go to Mars to collect my new equipment. Can deliver the STC while we do that. But first we should celebrate. Then sleep.
>LIX jumps onto Alice with a grat hug.
I am so happy for you, love. Congratulations... Inquisitor.
This is your planet, what's the most expensive restaurant and with the best service you can think of? Because we are having lunch there today!
Most expensive........um......not sure, but we'll ask my dad, then we'll go there. Of course the family might be planning something anyway so.....
>Alice leads LIX out towards the car, which drives towards.........CELEBRATION!
Night bros, gonna stop Threadding 4 da night.
That was a bloody plot-twist, I was expecting to see people die
>CELEBRATION!
Leaving too now, good night regiment, sleep snug smug.
Unfortunately not. Nobody will die on Praetoria today. Unless their liver gives out. But we can just get a new one. Night chaps.