Le fierce northern barbarians meme

>le fierce northern barbarians meme

why? Vikings usually avoided combat and when they fought actual warriors they usually fucking lost.

Or is it Conan's fault?

Other urls found in this thread:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Battles_involving_the_Vikings
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Normans
angelfire.com/mb2/battle_hastings_1066/saxonbattles.html
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

Tell me, OP: the fierce northern barbarians of fantasy, how often do THEY win? Because it looks like fantasy barbarians lose more often than the real-life Germanic peoples of northern Europe. So what, then, are you complaining about?

>everyday until you like it

Well my Diablo Barb was quite a beast.

Because you're confusing roaming bands of Vikings for the Armies of Denmark and such, who were no real slouches.

Who are you really comparing them too though? Northern European climate naturally breeds stronger and more rugged men than Southern Europe, it's simply a matter of climate and diet.

The harsh landscape of Denmark. Also explain why they kept losing if they were so strong.

What do you mean by Kept losing?

Do you refer to Vikings? Because those guys were literally Roaming packs of thugs in a boat, of course they lost to disciplined soldiers.

The Danes themselves have been a pretty solid Kingdom and power for Thousands of years.

I mean really, what are your goals here? Acting like a moron on purpose?

What the hell do you have against the Nordic peoples, user? Did a Swede steal your boyfriend or something?

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Battles_involving_the_Vikings

they sucked

He probably is a Swedecuck angry at Northmen being actual men.

Your diablo barb's entire people were defeated and are enemies in Diablo 3.

Yes.

Sven has to steal a boyfriend because he isn't getting any ever since Muhammad and Jamal became his blonde girlfriend's sexual boyfriends.

Sure he's still her Romantic Boyfriend, but he enjoys getting penetrated once in a while, you know?

Where exactly are you from then?

They still immigrated to England and filled you with filthy Nordic blood.

And nowadays they have the gall to say we wuz Romans n' Sheeiiit.

Because most of the nerds who wrote about them thought that they were pretty scary.

Yorkshire English bro here.

It's generally regarded that the Danelaw was at least as effective as every other backstabbing sibling fucking Kingdom of England at the time.

Probably a little more because the Danes were far less intrusive.

American expat working in Saudi Arabia? They're hypocritical miserable assholes but at least they don't look at their culture and feel shame.

Because reality is boring, and "haha mem" is in FUCKING FAAAAAAAAAANTAAAASYYYY

It can have a burning desert in the south instead of Penguin ice, it can be flat, it can feature sentient kangaroos, it can contain a non-faggot you...

>American expat

Ah, that's why you look at European History and think Vikings were "losers" and assume they were a country and not a cultural subgroup.

Just a quit pointer, The Romans lost more Battles to the Gauls than they won. Judging European Battle history based on Wins and losses is like trying to determine which is a better wine, Salt or pepper, it makes no fucking sense

Because if you didn't you'd have to play as a Spaniard or a French.
Do you want that?

Do you want to basically play unstoppable catholic ISIS or homosexual unstoppable knights and philosophers?

>it can contain a non-faggot (him)...
I'm sorry, that just breaks my immersion.

>they usually fucking lost.
Where exactly does this claim come from?

Also, gentrifying the entire countries population based on a few wet blankets with loud mouths is the height of stupidity.

I'm And like I said, Vikings are regarded as a part of History in York that isn't all "Dey raped our villages"

Unlike probably any place in Europe, the Danish immigration was seen as a neutral at worse experience.

Nope, every day until mod awakens

>Romans
>losing more battles to the Gauls than they won

nice revisionism faggot but no

Norwegian here, what's going on in this thr--

Mæn ka farsken!

Why is this necessarily bad? Nobody besides your autism is bothered by it.

Yes, yes I do.

I'd love to play a religious fanatic with strong imperialist tendencies that fucks anything with a hole, or a blue-blooded full-plate wearing warmonger that enjoys stinky cheese and wine with their slaughter.

I despise generic fantasy being just England, Scandinavia and ARABIAN NIGHTS.

Nothing wrong with playing French considering how military successful they were and Spaniards had their streaks of badassery as well. I think stomping Aztecs was more badass than a bunch of bandits killing unarmed people and running away from soldiers.

>I'd love to play a religious fanatic with strong imperialist tendencies that fucks anything with a hole, or a blue-blooded full-plate wearing warmonger that enjoys stinky cheese and wine with their slaughter.

>But I don't want to be English

Nigga you must be the most clueless fucker in existance about European History.

What do you think the English were?

It's true?

Roman lost more individual battles with Gaul because Celtic soldiers were just as adept as Roman ones

Rome conquered Gaul through Logistics and commerce, not brute strength.

Hypocrites, manipulators, assholes, also they happened to have nice military

Just for you, user, I'm making the next barbarian I play as Norse as it can possibly be.

To be fair, everyone in Europe can say to varying degrees of truthiness, "We were Romans and shit." That's more of a tribute to Romans than anyone trying to share in their glory--that they built a culture that is still being felt 2000 years later.

Perfidious Albion is, historically, a people of backstabber and liars, prone to fits of genocide during their imperial conquests.

Oh, and tea sippers, can't forget that.

The worst part is Vikings were far better traders than fighters with world spanning routes, sometimes even getting them access to premium middle eastern steel

>Murdering the enemies of your faith so fucking much saints, virgins and apostles manifests to fight with you

Because they're fun and you're a weedy cunt.

>English peasants
>Unarmed

Believe me, a billhook or a mattock could fuck an unarmoured soldier up way more than a sword or an axe. And they're farming implements.

And even then, they where terrorized by vikings.

You know what happens when an ACTUAL army terrorizes a small mountain town in Spain?
A holy being casts deflect arrows

See, this is why in my Original The Setting (Do not Steal) I don't have those as my inspirations for human culture.

Human kingdoms include;
>France
>HRE German
>Spanish Kingdoms
>Heptarchy England
>Poland-Lithuania
>Gustav-era Sweden
>The Dutch

I find it funny this is attributed to the English when the English were no less backstabbers than any other kingdom at the time.

Where exactly do people get these ideas from?

I mean I'd love to educate you all on it, but I want to see this stances viewpoint first.

Imagine my DM's face when the background to my Not!Swedish character was trading.

This big hulking guy with a braided beard wearing fine furs talking in a thick accent about pelts was not something the party was expecting.

I hope you are not implying farmers were fucking openly fighting vikings or something.

Trading and farming should be the Viking stereotype. That's what they spent most of their time doing. Viking was basically the part-time summer job of the era.

>heh look at these plebs
>they still have to go raid
>what a bunch of losers

Not them, but Perfidious Albion has been a term used for England since England was a thing.

You guys don't have a historical reputation for honesty.

>HRE German
>Spanish Kingdoms
>The Dutch
Nice to see you put my holdings 3 times. Unsure why you split it.

>hey, Steinþór, we're thinking of maybe doing a raid on the English, you in?
>nah man, I just got a totally sweet deal on long-grain wheat from this guy in Persia, so I've gotta hustle before it goes bad.

>fu-fuck off DAD! It's my life!!! PRAISE THOR!

Because the monks they raided thought they were pretty spooky. History isn't written by the Victors, user. It's written by the butthurt scholars.

I think Adventurer is the Viking Stereotype.

They were literally bored Traders and soldiers who took up shit and sailed around doing whatever the fuck they wanted.

Murder hobos, Heroes, traders, Farmers.

That's exactly how my character saw it too; he's raising because it's a quick way to make some raw profit, but as soon as he makes some hefty bank he's going to invest it in farms and trade expeditions.

I fully intend for this character to be a comfy Thane sitting on his porch watching the tenant-farmers work his fields.

Diablo Barbarians got their shit kicked in, armies dead, civilization shattered. They never recovered in D3.

>And thus Sigurdr joined the Jomsvikings

England has always been defined by one thing.

The Warrior King.

The English had had a degree of heroic Warriors far beyond any other country and the stories of Men of Honour is something deeply ingrained in English History.

Arthurian legend and Charlgemane ring out as myths for the English who seeked to emulate, as real life people like William Marshall and Henry the V did.

I think probably one of the most ironic facts about England is how much they were demonized.

Has anyone actually read the trail of Joan D'Arc? protip: Joan is a crazy person who was told by an English saint in French to break French laws and murder all of the English. She basically spouted Heresy and the English did THREE trails trying to save her ass from the pyre.

Sorry senpai, the setting takes place after the Not!Hapsburg's have long-since degraded into a collection of holdings in the Not!HRE.

Hell, the critical event that started the main plot hook of the setting is the Dutch rebelling against their Hapsburg ruler, killing him and declaring independence.

Sorry, The English had a degree of respect of heroic warriors far beyond any other country*

>This is what the perfidious albion thinks
Hahaha
No.
These are the ACTUAL English qualities
Backstab happy propaganda spewing absurdly good and orders obeying shooters and tea sipping imperialists with funny accents.

It's a meme and nothing more. Vikings lost battles because EVERYONE loses battles.

But they didn't 'usually lose'. They won many battles. The Norman conquest of England was a viking invasion, for fuck's sake.

>Putting Hapsburg in not!Spain
>Not superior Trastámara

Does a little bitch need an eviction? Because here it says it does.

Normans weren't fucking vikings you retard and you could actually read about the battles before speaking

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:Battles_involving_the_Vikings

Saying the Normans were not Vikings is like saying Norse are not Germanic.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Normans

Normandy is basically a Danelaw area that went Frenchaboo.

a bunch of inbreds that have been getting ruled by foreigners since 2000 bc ?

>Bjorn i am very disappointed in you.
>you are the son of one of the richest farmers in our lands
>but you spend your time with a couple of lowly raiders who doesn't even know how to cast a fishing net even if their live depended on it

>Ruled by Foreigners
>Inbreds

How does that work exactly.

ruling class doesn't marry the peasantry Nigel

Trying to say the English only were an inbred ruling class is pretty ironic when people are talking about European History.

You know that they intermarried and after two generations were genetically French right? Even Rollo's son was 50% Frankish.

They're not in Spain anymore either, though that was a long, drawn-out affair of sheer entropy. Not!Spain is ruled by a variety of kings and queens, the greatest of which is betrothed to the Prince of Not!France.

It also helps that the Hapsburgs are literally dragons. All of them. Every dragon is a Hapsburg.

i'm talking about the common people nigel
small island small gene pool

so basically humans are revolting against their dragon overlords ?

>The Warrior King
>The English had had a degree of heroic Warriors
Truly the mixture of Celtic and Nordic blood produces a hypocritical yet effective people

>EVERYONE loses battles

but not all the fucking time

>not having not spain rulers be spirits
Do you eve spain lore?

Not to mention the population got decimated a couple of times.

Though the english ruling class has always been foreign, from Vikings to Germans.

not!spain should be a crusader state.

Viking is a profession, not a race. Even if you call the Normans of Norse decent it doesn't make them Vikings.

>small island small gene pool
Even the bloody Icelanders manage to avoid inbreeding, and they have less than half the population of Leeds.

>I think stomping Aztecs was more badass than a bunch of bandits killing unarmed people and running away from soldiers.
Holy fuck user, what do you think it is that the conquistadors did? Literally what you just described.

Normans were Vikings given lands so they would stop wrecking stuff and so that the French King would have a loyal army to call upon.

You must be retarded you spic conquistadors fought actual battles all the time.

>I mean I'd love to educate you all on it, but I want to see this stances viewpoint first.
It comes from literally ONE poem and it became a meme. After the French Revolution, the French expected England to be neutral but it jumped right on top of the entire coalition because fuck republics amirite? Some French poet was pretty upset about this and wrote the sentence "we must fight perfidious Albion in her own waters", as part of a poem. Somehow that single phrase became a meme.

Funny, because in the end it was Russia that backstabbed France the hardest.

>Hardship and malnutrition build strength and character

The thread being constantly reposted in annoying but this meme in endemic.

>English peasants
>English
>peasants
Nice try Marx, read some Alan MacFarlane some time.

>be mediterainian civ
>get rekt by Gauls, from the North
>have constant war with reking and counter reking with fuckers that were too hardcore even for the Gauls, you kall the Germanics. Again North of you
>fuckers cool down a bit and settle down
>fuckers from even more North fuck shit up

At that point you would've applied the rule of thumb "north is were the hardcore raiders are".

I mean sure they traded more than they raided, but when it was raiding time (or conquering time) they left an impression.

Please stop citing wikipedia

>French
Mornarchs
>English
Plebs
>Irish
>Scots
Peasants
>Welsh
Livestock

With far and away supperior technology and their diseases doing most of the leg-work for them. Comparing that to viking raiders is asinine but then so is this thread

People who call us slavs "grumpy" must have retarded and mischievous ideas about using one's smile.

>stomping Aztecs was more badass

Then give credit to the thousands of other non Aztec mesoamericans that the Spanish actually got to fight their battles

angelfire.com/mb2/battle_hastings_1066/saxonbattles.html

sure

Sissy germanicuck upset again?

Holy kek

So did the Somali pirates.

A-bloody-men. I'm Nordic, but modern culture's obsession with smiling constantly just to display civility or even non-hostility feels oppressive.
I'm told I have a nice smile. I like to think it's because I smile when I MEAN it.

>iceland
>not inbred

Literally the most closely related nation on the planet mang.

Faggot.

Fucking brit, there is FIVE FUCKING GENERATIONS between rollon and guillaume
Stop this meme, he was french and you're so salty to have lost you call them "viking" and you say you are proud of your "northern heritage"

> thinks vikings and barbarians are synonymous
Vikings were technically barbarians, but there were dozens of other nations/clans of barbarians all over Europe, and far outside of it in many other regions at many other times. Many of said cultures did in fact live in mountains, steppes and foothills. They favored rough terrain like that because it kept the lowlanders/civilized folks out of their hair, and made ambushes and blitzes much more effective for the brigands and/or pro-war cultures.
The fuck do you think we call them "highlanders," for?