This is a Dwarf thread. For Dwarves. No Elves allowed

This is a Dwarf thread. For Dwarves. No Elves allowed.

Let's talk about hammers, axes, beards and ale. And why those bastard elves need to shut up.

Too many bloody Okri are making everything out of stone these days. Treated wood is just as fine, retains heat wonderfully, and is a fraction of the weight.

We don't turn into Elgi just by using wood in our craftmanship.

Hi I'm an elf I like doing elf things

>us
Stay underground, dig and hit things with hammers.

>them
Stay on the surface and hang out in trees.

I literally couldn't care less about them.

Now, let's talk about anvils and killing cave trolls, that' actually relevant.

>Last of all the eastern force to stand firm were the Dwarves of Belegost, and thus they won renown. For the Naugrim withstood fire more hardily than either Elves or Men, and it was their custom more-over to wear great masks in battle hideous to look upon; and those stood them in good stead against the dragons. And but for them Glaurung and his brood would have withered all that was left of the Noldor. But the Naugrim made a circle about him when he assailed them, and even his mighty armour was not full proof against the blows of their great axes; and when in his rage Glaurung turned and struck down Azaghâl, Lord of Belegost, and crawled over him, with his last stroke Azaghâl drove a knife into his belly, and so wounded him that he fled the field, and the beasts of Angband in dismay followed after him. Then the Dwarves raised up the body of Azaghâl and bore it away; and with slow steps they walked behind singing a dirge in deep voices, as it were a funeral pomp in their country, and gave no heed more to their foes; and none dared to stay them.

Gemle Rockstroker, you're just drunk and have fastened two knives to your ears.

>Greco-Roman Dwarfs v.s. Simians with tame Lindworms
I never knew I wanted this...

What,no! I'm an elf I fuck trees. Like all elves do!

>dwarves
>ale
>not lager

>Under the Mountain dark and tall
>The King has come unto his hall!
>His foe is dead,
>the Worm of Dread,
>And ever so his foes shall fall.

>The sword is sharp, the spear is long,
>The arrow swift, the Gate is strong;
>The heart is bold that looks on gold;
>The dwarves no more shall suffer wrong.

>The dwarves of yore made mighty spells,
>While hammers fells like ringing bells
>In places deep, where dark things sleep,
>In hollow halls beneath the fells.

No, elves hone martial arts, bowmanship and faggotry. Tree-fucking is drunk druids' thing.

>dwarves
>lager
>not stout

Okay, serious question here lads. What's the norm for human and elven towns in regards to... mining and property rights?
Fairly standard setup, got a mining hall in this mountain range. Mostly stuff like tin, some iron and what we're hoping is a good vein across from the southern valley. But thats not what I came to ask.
See, there's a human town nearby (isn't there always?) and we get on reasonably well. Go down to trade every so often, get some stuff you cpjust can't grow right up here or in the dark. And well, pretty sure there's some good stuff under the town. So, you think could just go ahead and mine underneath them? Or would things get you know.. awkward later?

I'm willing to cut it fine here, but I'm not about to cause a cavein to excavate the gold, if you catch my drift.

The Lord of the land owns all mineral rights to his land, and in theory everything under his demse.

The polite thing to do would be to pay him for the rights to mine.

They will want compensation, but there's a way around that.

Get the local clan chief (or mayor or whatever human equivalent there is) drunk a few times. Get in his good graces over the course of a week or two, then get him to sign a paper saying you get to excavate there for a pittance.
Don't actually tell him what's in the mine. Fake it and pretend it's something quite common, then act surprised when you hit the motherload.

>Dwarf Thread
>Mentions Elves twice in the post

Moradin's Beard, you need to drop it.

Depends a little on how deep you're going. The deeper, the easier it should be. Humans like to (in theory) claim by flatmap rather than vein, but in practice, if you're deep enough, they'll probably sell it off cheaply because they couldn't work it anyway.

If it's close enough underneath the town that you think the humans could mine it themselves, then you'll probably want to negotiate. Have they noticed it themselves?

Thunder damn it. And he's a wily one too, he's going to squeeze me for every coin.

Mmnn, it's a possibility. I know there's copper, maybe work with that and forget to mention the other dowsing we did.

Ehh, tricky. It's in the lower bounds of the average human mining depth, but they'd have to dig through a whole load of nothing first. Not that they have mine, be a little daft considering we're pretty much next shaft down.

Alright, thanks for the help lads. Now I've just got to get the bastard sloshed and not realise I'm trying to pull a fast one on him. Nothing against him, got some respect for anyone who tries to get the best deal he can and hes a good enough ruler. But damn if it doesnt make cutting deals hard.

Offer a percentage instead of a flat fee.
It's not like they're going to travel all the way down there to double check your numbers if the payment is a bit light.

>Show us on this hunk of raw, pristine gemstone where the elves touched you

>this hunk of raw, pristine gemstone
[heavy breathing]

What's best in life boys, gemstones or precious metals?

A throne made of both.

Ahhh there's nothing quite like swimming with hairy dwarf women. I didn't know female-on-female underwater hair combing and arranging could enflame and titulate my sexual ardour so. My beard quite literally bristled like the first crack in the stone as the hammer strikes in the early hours of dawn.

Why, I am considering trading with the elves for some swimsuit material. Something traditional, yet emboldening.

Dwarven ladies. Beards? No beards? No ladies?

No beards.

They compliment each other.

You cant make a weapon or armor out of gemstone but it sure is nice to accent the steel, mythril, or adamantium.

Also gems hold magic energy better, least that's what the local rune-worker told me.

Don't listen to those youngsters, what you need to do is play off of the lord or chief's natural human envy. Show him your halls and your best workmanship in mining, and try to get him in love with the idea of a heavily fortified proper underfort. Then mention you have some workers who are free and would work cheap to dig one out. You can see where this is going, just be sure to haul the ores and whatnot out hidden, or else he might get pretty pissed.

What blashemy! Dost thou culture shaveth thine women? A woman's beard is a source of pride and craftsmanship. You disgusteth me, begone foul dwarf!

Hallo, dw- fellow dwarves! Did you catch that er, mining yesterday? Very.. very good... mining.
Anyone- anyone know where to get a good, traditional dwarven beer around here?

>What blashemy! Dost thou culture shaveth thine women? A woman's beard is a source of pride and craftsmanship. You disgusteth me, begone foul dwarf!

No dwarf speaks like this. Manlings, please go.

You see the picture in to OP? All women.

Humans and Dwarfs, bros for lyfe.

Fuck orcs.

Fuck goblins too.

Wait, even the one in the middle right in the background? Anvil and stone, she's er.. stoutly chiseled.

You dare challenge the royal tongue? Lower-class citizens should never have been allowed to leave the lead mines

Dwarves in my setting are hedonistic not!Polynesians. Fuck you and your stereotypes.

Wow, you're so original and cool.

What other race produces and enjoys alcohol as well?

All of them.

Oh, halfling and hobbits to be sure! We- they make some wonderfully mellow and sweet drinks. Have you ever tried Misty Hollow mead? It flows down like warm memories...

Er, so I've been told. Being a dwarf, which I am, I rarely get outside the mines. Oh, mining mining mining all day long.

Sounds like girly stuff
Betcha it's more fruit than liquor

Well that's hardly fair! It's brewed for flavour, not strength, you er.. even an elf could sip it all day and not get so much as a twinge of a headache!
I'll bet anyway.. so er, this talk has got my thirsty. Thinking I could use a proper dwarf drink. Maybe some sausages and mushrooms, maybe hash browns... sorry, where was I?

Why kill cave trolls when you can just drive them to the surface for the elves to deal with?

What about Human Dwarfs? Are they okay too?

Because to a Cave Troll a cave opening up to sunlight is a dead end to their tiny little brains. They can't comprehend any other life aside from living in the dark and eating dwarf meat and they're scared of the outside.

Are you saying carpenters aren't untouchable? What of the status of the other dwarven castes? Would you cast the miner up into the same hellish light as the clerks and traders too? As the water of the mines teaches us, nature escews putting all things upon a single level, and as nature seeks it natural level are we dwarves any different? Should not some be granted vaster depths than others, the tradedwarves to their tiers, the workdwarves to theirs, and the crossbowdwarves and nobles as tunnels to connect them all into the unity and protection of the fortress (w)hole? As was engraved by Armok in the beginning, so shall the dwarves toil til the end.

BEARDS!

>dwarves
>alcohol in general

...

Female don't have beards but their long hair is an equivalent.

I've been looking for a minecraft server where I can do my Dorf Fort thing and if anyone has a suggestion I'd appreciate.
I also want to know to if anyone is interested in embarking to some random factions server to start a fort.
I found some nice mountains in one particular server and want to know if anyone wants in.

A friend of mine is setting one up
I'd have to give you the ip, tho

Outta my way, elf fucking shits.

>elf thread
>the first time the word dwarf comes up is usually when a dwarf himself gets in the thread and starts shitposting

>dwarf thread
>elf mentioned in the very first post
>further shitposting about elves without any elves showing up
Stop being so tsundere for elves.

I... I just want you to notice me....

>Current cycle
>still living in the mountains "because it's tradition"
>still allowing humans/elves/whoever supplies you with food to hold you hostage if you step out of the line
>still suffocating thanks to shitty ventilation system
>still staying under 5 feet because of never leaving those shitty little tunnels
>still having to wear the same clothes your great-great-great-grandfather wore because "fabric ain't cheap, boy" and "it doesn't just crystalize in veins, you know"
>still dying to trivial illnesses because "What are we, druids?"
>still having to go that whole "I can't really tell if my intended has a dick or not" thing

Northern dwarves are trully sub-dwarves that hold our race back.

Apparently some dwarves think it silly that my brothers and I fight on the surface as a cavalry unit. Well to hell with them! Our mountain goat mounts allow us to move through the mountains at great speed, fight on cliffsides and even have beards of their own!

>dwarves
>stout
I bet ye think ye'r funny.

>and even have beards of their own!
How majestic are those beards? That's important.

>be a mercenary cavalry unit
>accept a contract from some plains nobleman
>charge.warbanner
>get raped by archers and crossbowmen

Mountain goats are magnificent steeds, with great endurance and are capable of running for days. But they also have rather short legs and are overall not very fast. Great animals though, real smart and loyal Just not very fast.

Damn. Remember when we obliterated our civilization due to our arrogance to achieve godhood.

Remember when we were the protagonists of the Hobbit movies and how we lost the Lonely Mountain because of greed the Mines of Moria because of ambition.

Anyways, how's the black lung and alcoholism treating you?

They are the mount of choice in mountainous regions. Their climbing skills are superb.

The goats bred for war have magnificent beards.