ITT post stories about shit that has gone down at your local game shop

>pretty much just having to deal with any of the Magic fags is hell. My FLGS stopped selling magic to get rid of these fags... they are the lowest of the low

You're lying. Stores won't throw away business like that.

>mfw I literally had to fight a guy in the parking lot to get him to leave

Not even the craziest thing to happen there. It's in a nice area, too, which is even weirder.

>Stores won't throw away business like that.

You'd be surprised what people will do when royally pissed off.

>A few kids come in to store and wanna sell an expedition land, one with a unzipped backpack.
>Owner tries to Jew them out of it for $20
>Over the course of 10 minutes and a lot of yelling the kids get it to $50 and for some reason decide to take it and leave the store.
>Minutes later the owner freaks out because an unopened booster box of Battle for Zendikar is missing.
>Piece together easily enough that the kid with the backpack swiped it in there while the owner was getting his Jew on.
>Nobody knows the kids and they've never been in the store before.
>Have to deal with pissy owner in the next few EDH games at the shop.
I'd say it was karma, but both sides were douchebags.

>is showing off a vial of mercury
About how much?

Even a few dozen milliliters spilled requires hazmat suits. I'd guess at least 100ml.

>but both sides were douchebags.

That's literally 90% of players of MtG

Where in the world did he get 100ml of Hg?

Ebay

it could have been Gallium and he was just full of shit, pretty easy to order the stuff online.

Gallium solidifies at anything under 85.58 degrees Fahrenheit so unless he was in a Florida shop without air conditioning I'm pretty sure gallium would have solidified in the vial and on the floor.

>Local creep(in his 20's) starts showing up with a 16 year old.
>Everyone jokes about calling the police but don't because of no proof.
>A few weeks later he is arrested 5 miles from the state border for carnal knowledge of a minor.
>16 year olds are legal across the state line.
>Turns out he gets off by testifying on his cellmate.
>FLGS B& him anyways.

I'm pretty much those goth kids but I understand why they were told to get the fuck out.

Same thing only us goth friends were playing Ars Magica and it was Mike's fault

>carnal knowledge of a minor

What the hell kind of bumfuck state law is that? Don't civilized places call it 'statuatory rape'?

One of my favorite experiences, from back in the day:
>Circa 1996, my favorite comic and game shop
>Go there one afternoon, hoping to catch some of my friends and play a nice, friendly game of MtG
>A couple of friends there, already playing a game
>Only other player there is this guy who is alright while he's not playing, turns into an arrogant prick while he is--suffers from chronic case of my-parents-are-rich-I-can-buy-serval-boxes-of-Magic-at-once syndrome
>Don't really wanna play this guy, but bored and no one else around
>We pull two single-person tables together, face to face, sit down, start playing
>Game goes on a while, each of our tables are full of cards
>Friends finish their game, come over to watch us
>Prick-ass player pulls a Falling Star, starts to gloat, dancing up and down in front of me
>Think to self, "Shit, my field is covered with shit, I'm going to lose something"
>Prick-ass drops Falling Star
>Card falls straight down, edgewise, slips cleanly down the crack between our two tables, touching nothing and hits the floor
>Solid two seconds of incredulous silence
>My friends and I crack up laughing--we don't stop laughing for 3 minutes while Prick-ass gets more and more salty
>Prick-ass gathers up his cards, storms out of the store, is not seen for about two weeks

Good times. I miss that store.

>carnal knowledge of a minor
Sorry I meant Carnal knowledge of a Juvenile.

LA, Our law system is based on Napoleonic code.

Who the hell has time to be a patrol officer and own a business?

Who said the story had to be real? The mercury part made me laugh.

Was that the shit that happened in Stoke-on-Trent or somesuch?

>LA, Our law system is based on Napoleonic code.

>our law system is based off napoleonic code
So how often do naval deserters get flogged?

Once a girl got B& for karate chopping a lardass neckbeard in the nuts because he didn't like Sephiroth

Could always own it, but not run it.

I know an officer that owns two franchises in fast food around the local area. His wife is a surgeon of some type and makes good money.

Only reason I know them is I ended up installing a security system and some light controls for their house and pool.

They shoot an admiral every once in a while too, to encourage the others.

Wouldn't desertion from the U.S. navy fall under federal law?

What did they do? It's surprising how people in the MTG community can be faggots. I play in a store where 99% of them are compelte nice bros, but the store I used to go to has decayed into pure shit since I stopped going there.

>showing
Sorry I don't understand, why was he arrested if he did something illegal here, but in a place where it's legal?

>FLGS and it's the only place to play in town
>game of pathfinder
>greasy, unwashed 300 pound neckbeard wants to play
>furry, brony, in a local anime association, /b/tard, etc
>total chode that no one liked
>It's a little sad, but such is life in the FLGS.
>his character: A Glorious Aryan Paladin who travels from place to place, stealing the rogue's booze
>fluff feels like it's written by a 13 year old boy
>game starts
>Theme is artifact hunters/retrievers.
>there's no way to get Ivory aside from killing an elephant
>we're on top of a mountain
>It's winter
>I wore the wrong clothes for this.
>That Guy gets a smug look on his face, looks at his friends and says "I got this,"
>cheetoh breather instantly verbally attacks me because I'm not in garb
>I say its okay
>Repeat myself adnauseum
>double check to be sure
>its okay
>Everyone shrugs
>lolwut.jpg
>The combat side of the adventure is pretty much what I expect.
>elephant ambushes happen all the time
>Lots and lots of Elephants whose mere existence drives me to the point of spastic rage.
>run into the thick of battle next to the fighter
>kill elephants in a couple of well placed hits
>That Guy shied away from the unfamiliar smell of elephants
>Wizard attempts to fire ass-rocket doing enough damage to kill an elephant
>so far away the elephant can't even retaliate
>Mach 13 Elephant Explosion
>bueno.jpg
>That Guy has several talks privately with the DM
>claims an elephant made of antimatter probably has enough potential energy to end earth in the ensuing explosion.
>DM facepalms and humors him a bit
>I'm honestly so fucking confused right now.
>They continue to talk about how they're going to kill my character anyways.
>Confused as fuck
>Eventually realize they're not going to budge
>mfw

Care to elaborate?

That really depends. My FLGS was owned by a former MD who wanted to retire at 50 and have a place where he and his friends could play Flames of War and Warhammer Fantasy whenever they wanted.

>EDH league at local game store
>each player has 10 points to hand out to the other players for good plays, politics, bargaining or any reason whatsoever, but all 10 have to be given out
>another 5 points given to the winner of the pod
>Player with the most points each week gets packs, most points for the month gets $50 store credit and one of the 5 Commander pre-cons but 2nd place gets nothing
>leading the league with 50 points, second place has 37
>lots of new people in the final week, my pod is 2 regulars and a new player, 2nd place guy has 3 new players with him
>He goes infinite with Roon and wins in ~6 turns
>I play a fun game with Thassa sea creatures that lasts 1.5 hours and lose to a Meren deck that just overtook board (No GY hate in my sea creatures deck....)
>Politicked and bargained my way to 20 points, and 70 total
>Thought I won because the only was for the 2nd place guy to get all the points in his pod
>He gave each of the new players some commander cards in exchange for all their points, giving him 35 points or 72 total
>League manager won't disqualify him for bribing
>I get butthurt
>Next month the league removes that point structure because of the bribe factor and makes infinite combos lose you points

Fucking tryhards, why play commander competitively?

What city was this in? Shreveport?

Not often but our Maritime laws are pretty robust being a major port and all.

>What city was this in? Shreveport?
yes

Example of the entitlement of combo players and how shit EDH "politics" are.

>how you can get mad at a casual game. ive never been tilted even when i lose really serious shit

Some people's success in games is the most successful thing in their life

Okay, here goes. This is going to sound like a caricature of a caricature but I swear it actually happened
>At FLGS for friday night Pathfinder Society (my first mistake, but what's there is there)
>Sitting down for the game, breaking out dice, character sheets, performing housekeeping tasks from last game
>unwashed MtF transexual walks in and asks if xe can play
>whatever, reserve judgement until I see the character sheet
>xe asks if xe can play some arcane race and class combination (I genuinely can't remember what it was, I've never touched anything PF or 3.5 related besides the corebook) from a previous game
>explains that it's xir 'roleplay fetish' (and says xe's very excited to learn what our 'roleplay fetishes' are)
>the poor Paizo shill running the game (and the one playing) has to explain that, no, that race has never been allowed aside from one boon at one high level convention game years ago
>xe gets indignant, insists that xe is a 'very creative person' who does xir own thing
>Paizo DM and co have to explain that Pathfinder is explicitly rules as written, as modified by the instructions in the Pathfinder Society Player's Guide
>xe says xe can't look at the website because it isn't 'trans friendly' due to not having a third gender option
>they explain the basic tenets of Pathfinder Society, why the balance and progression options are the way they are
>offer to let xir roll up a character right there, suggest several alternate builds almost exactly the same
>xe insists on another esoteric build (I think, at this point the DM had started the game and I didn't bother following the rules argument since I know almost nothing about the game)
>the guy explains that one of the rules is you have to own any splats you want to use
>xe asks why he hates homeless people like xir who can't afford RPG books
(cont)

Down here in Mandeville a local Yugioh player got arrested because he was blackmailing girls for sex with nudes he hacked off of their cloud storage ala Jennifer Lawrence.

>xe tells a long, detailed sob story about losing xir job, home, bank account, etc due to being trans, which is how xe came to be homeless and sleeping under a tree, and now the store is bigoted against xir for not letting xir do whatever xe wants
>guy says it's the rules
>xe points out (and this was at least a fair point) that we're in a game store and all the books are right there
>xe says xe doesn't even have the internet to look up rules (nevermind that xe complained earlier that the website wasn't trans friendly when xe visited it)
>the poor guy can't just come out and say the real reason you have to own the books: it's the only way Paizo can get their pound of flesh
>xe goes and gets the owner, and the three of them basically have the same argument all over again while the rest of us play
>eventually they relent and allow xir to make any character xe wants from any of the splats, as long as it’s within the Pathfinder Society rules, which they proffer via a PDF on a tablet
>xe spends the rest of the night pulling splat after splat off the shelves to build some special snowflake, if I recall correctly a phantom halfling or elf or something that fought with emotions
>interrupts the game every few minutes or so to insist that the rules are wrong or broken and that some arcane build option should be allowed despite not being in the books
>insists that xe should get xir way because that's how it worked in 3.5 or Fullmetal Alchemist or Final Fantasy
>when the adventure was over xe was still looking through sourcebooks and arguing intermittently with the guy about what was allowed
>all xe had to do was just make something from the corebook or grab one of the stack of pregens
>xe could have actually played the game instead of arguing about rules for four hours
(more)

That's much worse than my story as far as I can tell the guy up here wasn't blackmailing the girl or anything.

What’s hard to capture is the attitude. We’re talking about someone who insisted over and over again that the rules should be bent because xe was an ‘incredibly creative person’ and because the rules were stupid for not conforming to the magical realm character (or maybe ‘roleplay fetish’ means something else) xe had in xir head. However you feel about Rules As Written, if you go to an Organized Play event put on by the company you have to expect certain things. Xe kept insisting that xe was just going to find a Pathfinder game that wasn’t put on by Pathfinder Society, and I know everyone at the table wished xe would instead of continuing to whine that xe was expected to follow the same rules as everyone else.

I didn't think of it at the time, but looking back the thing that really burns me up is that, normally, the store has a very strict policy on homeless people. Because it's in the city's University District they get a lot, and policy is to eject them at the first sign of trouble. I have no doubt that, had any other homeless person behaved this way, they would have been kicked out in an instant. Due to exploding housing costs here (as a result of high demand and it being basically illegal to build anything) the city has thousands and thousands of people living on the streets, maybe more than we’ve ever had. There is no reason why one person should be able to get away with shit that none of the others would because of their ‘gender’.

I want to feel bad for this person. I really do. But the cringe is just too real.

What city user?

>(cont)

these always make me want to not read, learn to be concise nigga. greentext.

t. meme ADHD

wtf is this XE and XIR thing?

Gender neutral address

What I'm more concerned about is the fact that you referred to them as "xe/xir/xems" rather than "he/him/his", as that's what he actually is.

Some people beleive that they are so fundamentally different than the rest of humanity that they need to be identified as a gender other than male or female. XE and XIR are only some of a plethora of pronouns that describe literally dozens of these "genders".

Don't remember, it was a lot though. Sizeable vial.

He's not in a ton, has like three guys who split managing duties.

they/them/their

Boom, non-special snowflake gender neutral pronoun.

>xe
>actually using these "pronouns"

don't do this shit even in jest, it encourages them

Stop disrespecting pronouns you cishet shitlords you're triggering me

but he and she are the only ones needed

Crossing state lines with intent or some such thing.

How do they even pronounce it? X is not supposed to be used like that...

fuck you

they and them are useful when you're referring to someone that you don't know if they're male or female (or just don't care enough to find out).

>Oh yeah, I hear about this one person who did XYZ
>>how'd that work out for them?
>they got their shit fucked up

The neutral he/him/his also works.

I shit myself in my local store.

I was drunk

I'm right there with you. Wages here are decent but finding a job with good hours is tough and you basically have to make at least 24 thousand a year here to afford housing (rent is minimum 12k/year and nobody will rent to you unless your income is twice that) so basically anyone can become homeless if they have a bad turn in life. Every word of this person's sob story could have very well been one hundred percent true.

But there are thousands and thousands of other homeless people here and the idea that some of them deserve to get away with shit nobody else does because of what they self identify as, or because they've received a particular surgery, is preposterous. Shit like this is the exact reason people are always accusing gays, transexuals, etc of demanding special treatment.

t. Lawful Neutral

Seattle

I don't follow the ever evolving meta that is the preferred pronouns of different 'marginalized' groups, so I just chose one at random

Learn to immerse yourself in a rich, textured narrative, hoss

I've been having more and more trouble reading large blocks of text too. I think the weeks of inactivity leading up to Grad School are making me dumber by the hour

I think it's 'zee' or 'k'cim'

Sounds like San Francisco

SF is much worse. 12K a year in rent would be an unbelievable bargain there.

Anyone in Southern California that goes to gaming stores in the Inland Empire area and especially Pegasus in Upland knows my buddy Jeff aka Big Ish. Dude is literally insane but funny as fuck and doesn't have a filter.
Guys in the store are arguing about Star Wars, this is like 20 years ago plus, one dude says there was only one black guy in Star Wars; Lando, Big Ish says bullshit Chewbaca was black hes tall, hairy and you cant understand anything he says. A black dude was standing there reading a comic book, he looks up at all of us, puts it down and leaves. we all just laughed our asses off.

Not my LGS but a store I'll never visit again.
>Be mtg player for 7-8 years.
>Getting rid of bulk stuff.
>call stores to see who takes what.
>"Do you guys buy bulk mtg?"
>"Sure, bring in your stuff and we'll go through it!"
>"Whats your buying price?"
>oh it varies. Just go ahead and bring it in!"
>On the fence but decide whatever.
>Bring in 2 card hotels with all 12 boxes full.
>Literally wheel them in on a dolly.
>Guy gives me a look like "wtf?"
>"I called earlier. You guys said to bring my bulk in"
>"Heave it up on the counter.
>Guy starts flipping through it.
>"This is just a bunch of worthless commons and uncommons."
>"Oh, the bulk rares are in the last two boxes."
>Goes through the rares.
>"These are all worth like a nickel each..."
>"Um, yeah, it's bulk..."
>"We don't normally take this stuff. I'll give you 50 bucks for it."
>Get into argument about how I was told over the phone they accepted bulk.
>Get told repeatedly nobody told me that.
>Go to load card hotels back onto dolly.
>One slips off counter, smashing corner of hotel and spilling cards everywhere.
>Start scooping up and attempting damage control.
>guy comes around the counter with a BROOM and starts sweeping my cards into a huge empty box.
>Try to grab stacks and put back into boxes.
>Get home with one hotel and a box full of bent, scratched, now entirely worthless cards.

Never went back there. Shame it's the biggest game shop in my area too. Boasts 100+ for FNM whereas if mine gets 12 players in a draft it's a good day.

Wait, I don't understand. That Guy is a faggot because he's upset you didn't wear the right outfit and convinced the DM to kill your character because of it?

Whenever you introduce a prize into something then you're just asking for people to try to win it.

Sounds like a fucking asshole convention. I only feel for you, bro.
>Seattle
Figures. I still want to go there once to twice just to ride a bike nude (it just sounds fun leave me alone)

Shit-street city. Didn't they move all their homeless people under an overpass during the Superbowl? Fucking Gilded Age hospitality over there.

>Move to a new town
>Find a GS within 5 miles of my house
>Find out they have an EDH league
>Play in it one night and do pretty well
>Come next week and find out my commander has been banned
>Ask why
>Apparently patrons complained my deck was gay
>As irked as I am I obey the rule and use another deck
>Do pretty well again
>Come back next week and my other deck has been banned
>Now I actually complain
>Owner says he listens to the patron's he has known for several years
>Make a Bear Tribal EDH with almost no win condition
>Win
>Deck is banned
>Complain again
>Banned from store
>Next closest store is 25 minutes away
>mfw

Any good store would have given it the boot as soon as trouble started.

>playing tcgs
Quit while you've still got some dignity.

Should have started cloning the decks of other patrons until everyone's decks were banned.

In the US, crossing state lines to evade a law in one state is often a criminal offense.

I really should have. Alot of their commanders were super gay but poorly constructed
I pretty much had to quit as I have no one to play with and nearest store is far

Well it's a good thing I use pronouns delineated by actual biological sex because gender is in fact a meaningless construct like they believe it is. So HE is a fucking retarded attention seeking liar and HIS behavior should not have been tolerated for as long as it was.

wait... what?
I'm confused

That's absurd. What's the point of federalism if every state's laws extend beyond its own borders?

It's a necessary compromise. Mostly this applies to personal crimes, especially sex crimes, since you're taking a person out of state to commit the act.

It also helps states avoid stepping on one another's feet with differing laws.

It's to prevent people from breaking in a law in state x and getting away in state y. The 20's-40's was terrible because if you couldn't catch a criminal before they got across state lines there was nothing you could do.

Anyone else notice how virtually every story here is about PF or MTG?

>there are no other game shops in the greater baltimore metropolitan area

Still preposterous. You should be under obligation to follow the laws where you live, not everywhere you've ever lived all at once.

>popular things have more players
>the more players there are, the more bad players there are
>the more bad players there are, the more stories
>popular things have more stories
I'm sorry your mathematics educators let you down

Not in baltimore, actually. Southeast Idaho. Shoulda mentioned that.

Fuck, i felt bad asking my DM if my rouge could have proficiency in kukri instead of rapier to fit the forest-commando idea i had for him better.
This is just.. damn

Whatever helps you sleep.

>be gamer girl
>go into warhammer shop
>all the men there instantly eye rape me
>on them them word rapes me by saying hi
>i walk past to the counter to buy something and report to the owner that 4 other men almost raped me
>the owner starts to chant
>"OLD ENOUGH TO BLEED OLD ENOUGH TO BREAD!"
>the other rapists join in
>leave shop whilist being raped in at least 5 different ways
>come down with PTSD due to rape and triggerings

>and then everyone started clapping

>*BRRRRRTTTTT*

I though you were going to say an A-10 was shooting outside.

I am disapoint.

if you want to get technical any amount requires hazmat in a store. a vial you buy online as a necklace usually has around 5ml at most though. odds are the owner just didnt want to risk being sued

>OLD ENOUGH TO BREAD
He was just asking you for a sandwich.

>Im going to loose the business that keeps my door open because im throwing a hissy fit.

Stores that do that do not stay open.