It's my birthday Veeky Forums

We are a cult of fleshmolders.

I mean, I was just trying to point out that OP got dubs, so things are already getting a little meta.

The cult's uniform is a pinstripe suit.

We drink grog

We are a cult following of a cult rock band.

We worship a chaos god that represents the tragedy of the commons

Our cult uses traditional games as a means of learning about each other and potential recruits.

Our cult unites the rich and powerful, the top of our setting.

We worship a lemur called Lavaflake

No boys allowed.

No girls allowed.

No adults allowed

Noone really knows who the leader is, or the captains... or anything. The whole hierarchy thing is extremely vague, really.

No one is allowed in the cult.

We worship repeating digits and patterns

Rolling for this

Nobody in this cult gets doubles.

We have the worst luck imaginable

Every Thursday is silly hat day.
Participation is compulsory.

There is no cult.

>it's a clown cult that loves throwing birthday parties and worships the great god Bozo

The cult venerates business mogul Donald Trump as a messiah figure.

These are actually true, we have created a paradox

FINALLY.
We are officially the Silly Hat Cult.

The silly hats are made out of sacrifices.

The cult worships the female form and is known as the cult of the sheath

We venerate Gaben of Many Hats

At the end of every Thursday, there's a silly hat contest. The winner wins and even sillier hat which is actually a mimic.

We worship mimics

So our cult is basically tf2

The silliest hat gets sacrificed to the hat-goddess.
The wearer too

Reroll

The cult is dedicated to the worship of randomness in all of it's forms.

FUCK
Ok if I actually use this I'm going to have to pronounce his name like "Jaban" to throw my players off

Every male in the cult must wear a tiny mask on the tip of their penis that looks like a man in pain, and is never removed. Not even for peeing or sex. All fluid leaves through the open mouth of the mask

rerolls are bullshit

Godamnit.

Our cult views intelligence and education as inherently dangerous, thus making them venerate ignorance and stupidity.

Considering Trump's cult of personality in the current election, and how /pol/ can't stop sucking his shriveled orange dick, this doesn't sound too far fetched.

Rerollerino

KEK

Jesus christ that's horrifying.

C'mon guys, don't be weird.

The cult venerates hats because they hide their hideous deformities - namely, mouths atop of their heads.
Also, fashion, biatch.

I mean, it makes sense.
If we like hats so much, why not put them on our penises too?

THE REROLL DUBS HAVE SPOKEN

That's not called being in a cult, that's called wearing a condom

Jesus, all these fucking wasted dubs.

On silly hat day, the cult only eats shitty vegan version of meat dishes, like vegan burgers or hot dogs.

Rerolls are legit

The hats are actually shapeshifting parasites that are controlling the cult members.

Once a year all of the cult members meet and determine new rules for the year. Every member regardless of rank gets to throw out an idea and roll two dice, if he gets rolls matching numbers his rule is in effect for the year.

There is great discussion amongst the cult members if a wig can be counted as a hat.
There was a schism over it at one point.

>We are TF2 fedora wearing neckbeard players
youtube.com/watch?v=0wiKqBgsp4A

Hey man, some people wear condoms 24/7. Cults are weird.

I'm terrified

This, finally.

The parasites have dumb goals, like clogging toilets or removing yellow lights from traffic signals or whatever

The cult fights with oversized Horse dick clubs. Actual horse dicks that are specially preserved with the scrotum and mounted to a hilt, meant to be wielded with both hands

Every cult member is bald by nature.

We only eat eggs

No, they must only eat penile shaped foods and drink semen mixed with mead

Eating fish is forbidden

Behold, a song of great holy importance to the cult!
youtu.be/nlxfDvSyPKA

The sillier the hat, the more power you gain.

This
They are SILLY hat parasites after all

No, they've only got dumb goals, as per

The removal of the top of ones skull, to allow ones mind to better experience the hat, is mandatory. The cult is exceptionally good at healing magic to counteract the (very many) downsides to this

Jaben is with us.

We are steampunk

The parasites do a very bad job of looking like hats so it's really obvious that they're controlling the cult members, none of the villagers mind though because the parasites have turned some of the cult members into pretty upstanding citizens.

The leader wears this hat

Everyone must wear buttplugs in the shape and size of a fist

Are rerolls legit or not?

A common symbol of the cult is the snake.

The snakes also wear hats.

Legit only if you don't reroll your own post

oh fuck.

Trips have spoken!

Trips declares it so!

And let's say that image means the centrally worshipped figure is that cat in a cowboy hat.

Nice job, Sheriff Fuzzyboots.
But how do we be sure?

We're pirates!

SO IT IS WRITTEN
SO SHALL IT BE

Cult members are free to leave at any time, but choose to stay for the camaraderie and cool hats. No mind control is actually required.

THE CAT IN THE HAT HAS SPOKEN

All hail Jaben of the many hats

So this means is invalid?

Larger, more ornate hats are a sign of seniority in the cult.

I know it's kinda old, but i llke this one a lot

The mighty Hat Of Doom is hidden in the dark depths of the Cult's treasury.

See >Select all images of a store front
Nearly every hat store in the nation is a front for the cult.

They are obsessed with the research and creation of half human/half animals for the nefarious purpose of breeding pure humans out of existance.

Also these half breeds are forever loli/shouta sized.

We are in war with the aliens, gentlemen

mwa haha

They are obsessed with the research and creation of half human/half animals for the nefarious purpose of breeding pure humans out of existance.

Also these half breeds are forever loli/shouta sized.

Those aliens don't wear hats.

Try harder, try hard.