Inquisitorial Penal Regiment Veeky Forums: Blueberries in the Sun Edition

Well everyone, It seems the Herald, alongside the some of fleet is still kicking up in orbit. But it seems the navy's taken heavy losses since we landed (for once). As such, our friendly neighbourhood inquisitors are willing to over look any tech heresy if we can get this Tau planetary cannon up and running. Now then... does anyone know how to repair a Tau cannon?
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Steam Group: steamcommunity.com/groups/40k_penal_regiment.

FAQ:
>What the fuck is this?
Somewhat a campaign of crack-infused free-form roleplay in the grim darkness of the far future.

>When do you guys make these threads?
Usually mondays at 4PM GMT, but they sometimes extend to Tuesdays if we got caught in the middle of something when the thread died and it was too late to make another one the same day.

>Can I join in?
Sure, just think of a character and have fun, you can find most info in 1d4chan albeit it's ussually a little bit out of date in comparison to where the threads are.

>Is there any requirement in character creation.
Not really, we've had Xeno infiltrators, Chaos infiltrators, Villains, Heroes, Normal Guardsmen, Crazed Guardsmen, Assassins, Psykers, Space Marines, Inquisitors, Squats... just think whathever and join the fun.

>Is it allowed to have more than a single character?
Yes as long as you don't use it to powerplay.

>So how you guys do the playan'?
We tend to use spoilers for OOC chat, but nothing is set in stone.
We tend to use greentexts for describing a character's actions, but again nothing is set in stone.
Use d20s for combat checks and d100s for other things you want to roll, higher Is better.
It's important to know that the regiment is now in the employ of a radical Ordo Xenos Inquisitor, with influence from an Ordo Malleus Inquisitor and under the watch of an Ordo Hereticus Inquisitor. Yes we've been through a lot of shit.

And before anyone asks. No I am not going to shoot you if you do. I'll be pissed off, but I won't shoot you.

I'll be back in five minutes. I just got home from work and need a rinse(summer is a bitch sometimes).

Did someone say tech heresy? :)

quiet you! You're dead and limited to screwing with the toilet paper stocks (though I think that was fixed up). Even then, you should be worried about the Herald being blown up, considering its a three way brawl between the imperials(outnumbered), Tau (outnumbered slightly less) and the Orks (massive numbers)

>drops in quietly
Do I know how to repair a Tau cannon? You better believe it...

>smashes the control panel
>sets a small demo charge on the plasma coils

I thought you hated Xenos and their tech. Also... How the FETH, did you manage to get past the three orbiting fleets Gary!?

that's what you think. now i have the towel dispensers too!

>The mans eyes go wide as the catachan attached a demo charge go the planetary gun command center
NOT DESTORY GARY! REPAIR! REPAIR!!! ALSO DONT DO IT! YOULL COLLPASE THIS WHOLE PLACE!!!

we have towel dispensers!?! O_O

Uh, yes I absolutely hate xenos and all their abominable tech. That's why I'm "fixing" this thing to the way it should be. Which is completely broken.

I was with one of those other fleets, guy. And being an independently operating Inquisition trooper has some damned nice perks...

they got walled off and are outdated...How do you think i got them?

It's already BROKEN GARY! The fleet wants it to be FIXED! AS IN WORKING!!! AS IN OPERATIONAL! AS IN IT CAN FIRE AT TARGETS!

Destroying it is part of my job. But yeah, ok, I won't use charges, see your point there.
>severs a cluster of cables

What do you want this thing for anyway? I can get one of those ship captains to get you an honest human weapon very easily.

>the older gentleman would be busy tending to the wounded as there is nothing else for him to do.
>happily the man would treat those close to death and offer each of them a muffin once they were patched up
I should have become a medic not a Navigator.
>sighs

>The mans eye would twitch.
Dammit Gary! Thats the whole point! We can't GET ANY guns down here! Especially with the fleet getting its ass handed to it by the Tau and Orks up there! We needed that gun operational again in order to turn the tide and get reinforcements down here!
>He'd motion behind him, and towards the hundred or so dead guardsmen in body bags behind him, in addition to the few dozen badly wounded.
Now what the hell do we do!?

What do we do? We hold the Thronedamn line and call in some favors to get us help. Where's a vox caster? Let me get one of the fleet astropaths to send a message. And I happen to be aware of a hidden orbital gun battery nearby, so seriously, we don't need this xenos piece of shit.

>The man would face palm hard at this.
Gary... we don't stand a chance right now! We're smack dab in the middle of an Ork Waaaaaaaagh! On a former imperial with NO possible way off at this point. We barely have his xeno gun base under our control. How can You expect a single squad to go out in that! It's almost as bad out there as Gospyria! And we had a hell of a lot more men at our side back then!

And let me add on, that, that Ork waaaagh isnt even a regular one! They're willing to quite literally BLOW THEMSELVES UP just to reach us!

Aren't you glad you're normally on a ship?

>Returns from his "Research subject gathering"
Would you quiet down a bit... I could hear you all the way to the Ork trenches.

I'm just glad to be off that blasted ship.
>offers the man a muffin.
it's just a shame I can't get out more often.

Great... a fee dozen of 'us', trapped in between a suicidal Ork Waaaaagh, and enough Tau, Gue'vesa' and their other allies to fill a mountain... what more could go wrong!?

Have a little faith, soldier. Working with the Inquisition has given me a few cards to play in these situations. Come over here...
>walks over to what appears to be a storage shed overlooked by the Tau occupiers
>tears off a wall panel
>a small sealed door is behind it

This leads to a tunnel network they prepared. I can't guarantee there won't be any orks in the system, but there is a route to the gun battery. You'd best get everyone ready to get in here, cause I'm probably going to have to collapse this entrance once we're through.
>scans his credentials
>door hisses open

and the Imperial prom is tomorrow!

Well, it may not be much of a relief, but I gained enough research material to continue my work after we make it out of here.

Mot... I swear to the Emperor that I will JAM MY FINGER INTO THAT HOLE IN YOUR CHEST!!!

Why is it that stupid shit like this always happens...

And I doubt they over looked it Gary. Intel says this planet offered to join the Tau... so I'm betting there'll be traitors in there, if not worse.

And since this is your plan-
>He'd motion for the Major to go first.
Lead the way~!

hey need backup? just incorporate some drones to my WIFI network no strings attached!

no can do sir they already patched me up.
>smirks at the man but loads his shotgun as he stands ready to enter tunnels.

>chuckles
>readies his flamer
Do I look like some flimsy bureaucrat to you? Stop being such a negative nancy, what's a few traitors compared to a horde of orks?
>turns on a flashlight
Make sure the last men through seal the entrance.

>The man would sigh, before checking his bolt pistol and lasrifle.
I hate you people... I honestly do... I want you all to know that.
>He'd then mumble something about and easier job

The fact that these traitors have battlesuits and own the planet both groundwise and in orbit.
>He'd make his way into the hatch.
All we had to do was hope Hawthorne could fix the damn thing... that's all that needed to happen...

Really? You would put your trust in a woman who comes from a Tau world to help you fight Tau? Emprahs bones... And Battlesuits are not a problem. All the entrances are far too small for them to get their big nasty ones through, and I can smell out their stealth suits. We might have to fight for the gun battery itself, but that shouldn't be a problem.

>vox crackles to life
Lieutenant! I need a progress report on your mission to disable the planetary defense guns! We are holding off the orks but the Tau threaten to seriously damage the fleet!

we love you too sir, we're like a family, an angry disfunctional family... with Chaos and Xenos infiltrators.
>sighs.

>Waking up, with a slightly better coloration to her person, the Mordant Acid Dog gets on her feet, rather disappointing nobody attached an arm to where she should have one.

Guess today's schedule includes stealing mesself an arm... or making one, whichever happens first I guess.

>She got up, fashioning a skirt out of her jacket, it was a desert, she didn't need the jacket anyway

So we fightin' in tunnels or what?

That's right. Stay frosty for orks, traitors, and Tau.

who needs two hands anyway?

>She picks up her laspistol, and placing her combat fork in her mouth, holding it with her teeth.

Hwy whouldnae knhow bouht hwhwere ish coush geht anudha arm?
Bad attempt at replicating "You wouldn't know 'bout where I could get another arm" with a fork held in mouth

>He'd answer his vox
The main gun is completely out of the fight admiral. As in, a certain catachan Major snuck in during the fighting and utterly ruined it after we recieved orders to fix and use it against the Tau.
>He'd glance towards to Gary for a moment before returning his attentions to the transmission.
Most of my troops are either dead or dying at this point, Sir... The guns were far hotter than we expected, and most of the dropships never made it down.
>The officer would sigh, before continuing
What few of us are left are on our way towards the supposed location of an old Imperial planetary defense gun that our Inquisitorial catachan says might be here.

I'll notify you once we arrive. But don't expect any survivors at the end of this, Sir.

Hence why we call it 'Dreg-Crosser' squad...

Find a dead cogboy and salvage his arm, for a more immediate solution. Eventually you may be able to get a vat grown replacement arm, like I did.

Very well. I wish you luck in securing the gun.

>smiles to himself
Everything ready, El-Tee?

Personally, I'm ok with the Xenos. Not so much the Chaos... always ends up with half a ship dead, and the other half being studied for days on weither or not they should be shot.

Well... considering you can't get 'off' any other way... I'd say you do.
>A small smile would cross his lips as he kept his eyes forward.

By the way... your "pink folds" are showing again...

Traitors aren't that bad, nor are Xenos, it's the Genestealer cults that get me, worst of both worlds if you ask me
>he shudders and holds his shotgu close to his chest.

Understood, Sir! Ordenius out!
>He'd disconnect.

Fleets worse off than I thought... apparently the Tau might have gotten reinforcements. Since the battle just swung in their favour.
>He'd keep his eyes on the tunnel before him.

Hopefully the damn thing is still operational after all this time... must be hidden pretty good if the ol' planetary Governor didn't even know about it...

I'd rather not loot the cogboys, just doesn't feel right...

>she spits her fork out and it gets stuck on a wall
FOR FUCK'S SAKE

Now there's at least TWO reasons why I need another hand, 1. Covering meself up, and 2. getting off.

And besides, I can't prime and chuck a detpack effectively, I have to prime it and chuck it, I can't prime it while chucking it!

Traitors, xenos, cults and assorted enemies, all are to be destroyed without a second thought. The Inquisition and the Administratum only might fuck you over, but the enemies of the Imperium? They'll most certainly fuck you over.

God... don't even get me started on the Tyranids.
>He'd shudder at the thought of those claws ripping through his body.
The last thing this galaxy needs is those things...

if you ask me the last thing this galaxy needs is us.

>The mans smirk would thankfully be hidden by the darkness of the tunnel.
Then why didn't you shoot Larrs, Hawthorne, Bob, or plenty of others before you left? Hmm?

You really believe that one piece of junk would have made a difference? Come to think of it, I neglected to mention that the controls of where we are headed also activates defensive turrets around the cities to keep the cities under control, as well as a couple of other gun batteries.

Don't ask me why the bosses had all these defenses built. It's above my pay grade.

>The mans brow would raise slightly at this.
Humanity...?
>He'd cast a quick glance towards the major. Fully prepared to dive for cover, should he begin freaking out

>shakes his head laughing.
I mean the regiment moron, humanity has done wonders but this regiment is a mess.

>augmetic eye means he can see perfectly well
Because of orders and bigger threats. We might let aberrants like that alone for awhile, if they're useful.

All this for a minor mining planet with a total population of less than five million? Either the Inqustion is playing with things they shouldn't be. Or somebodies REAL paranoid about people walking on the grass...

Good. Never waste resources that still have a purpose.

>The man would chuckle lightly at this.
No point trying to change what isn't broken Mot... and don't call a superior officer a moron! At least not directly to their face.

I haven't worked to closely with Xenos before Jackson transfered me into the regiment after Somerius. But I've come to see many of them as my best friends over the last few months...

I hear you can get something called "a double ended dildo" on certain pleasure planets near the core.

Minor mining planets are perfect places for hidden bases and labs. But I'd cut the speculation if I were you. If the bosses don't want us to know, then we don't need to know.

We're about halfway to the control room now. I don't smell anything, but let's be ready...

how do yall want to determine whether we'll need to fight, or what we'll fight?

>determine
well since the Tau don't know this place exists, and since Gary has open access to the place, only one of two things make sense. Defense turrets and other automatons left over by the Inqustion, or Ork looters mixed in. Either way it's a battle

>repeats back what the man just said
No point trying to change what isn't broken
>laughs again
that should be our motto ya know.
either way I have a bad feeling about all this
maybe one of us should take the roll of Antag user

guess that's my job I suppose!

>halts suddenly
Motherfucker... combat servitors up ahead. That wasn't in the files. Well let's see...
>tries to remotely shut them down
>he doesn't have the appropriate clearance codes

Fucking shit... alright, get ready for a tussle.

Servitors... Bah, worthless for me.
>Draws his pistols

>standing at the back the Navigator would step forward and draw his bolter pistol.
they shall be dealt with quickly.

Aye, met a RT once, swanky focker, she 'ad one of those things... I really didn't see the point of it at first...

Er, maybe I'll jus' stay quiet now

Solid copy, Acid dogs gettin in the fight!

>She aims her laspistol to the front of her

Err, jus' this one thing, I aint much help in the back here, but I'm less help in the front..so uh, I'll try an' get some potshots done from back here.

You seem to be missing an arm. If you would like, you can have my cybernetic. It´s starting to be more an annoyance than a useful tool...

Rolled 11 + 15 (1d30 + 15)

>rollan for number of servitors, at least 16 of them
>the servitors sense movement and awaken
>converging on entry vectors
>not particularly heavy duty units, but dangerous enough

>The combat servitors indeed do not respond properly to your clearance level.
>They do however, turn their attention towards you. Their weapons drawn and ready to fire.
>One of the mindless drones speaks up.
"Unidentified intruders detected. Please supply nesscessary clearance, or be prepared to met the Emperor."

like I said, I was going to do it... I've been wanting to do this for a little while now.

both things happen, I'll leave it to you if you want, either way works

Kool, thanks, saves me the bother

If you can attach it and get it working right now, that'd be good, if not, maybe later

All I need it for is to hold me rifle so I can fuck'emup better yah?
>She seems interested, albeit she is rather pre-cooupied trying to adjust her make-shift skirt which she fashioned out of her jacket

Please identify yourselves, or prepare to meet the Emperor. This is your final warning.

>messages datapad
hey you seem like a reasonable person so would you mind logging one of those servitors to the WIFI network marked "Xeno do not contact" thanks

The sooner, the better. But these servitors are first priority.

I think we should identify ourselves, that or we start shooting.
>aims his pistol at the servitors.

Rolled 4 (1d20)

Bitch, if you can't recognize an Inquisitorial agent, you're of no use!

>lights up closest servitor with flamer

Rolled 2, 19, 3, 6 = 30 (4d20)

Oh dear...
>Sprays at the servitors with autopistols

Rolled 5, 1, 6 = 12 (3d20)

>The technical servitors skin is charred black by the flames. And soon shuts down due to system overload.
>Several nearby gun servitors immediately train their guns upon the intruders and begin reaveing up before opening fire.
>As soon as the shots are fired, the lights go out, and are quickly replaced by flashing red, emergency lights. Causeing anyone without augmetics, or other light sources to lose visibility

Rolled 1 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>checks her datapad

At what point did I get a datapad?
>Messages back
"No entiendo señor"

fooken salesmen...
Aye

The valhallans and the vostroyans 'ave a great saying for things like this... I can't remember it but it was something with a b...buh...bu...whatever, FOR EMPEROR IMPERIUM AND CAKE!

>Aims her laspistol at the servitors, firing a few potshots at them

Rolling for killy of shot

-5 due to being fucking blind

>Thankfully, one of the servitors seems to lack any ammo.

well there goes your gun... and your hand...

Or just someone's back has a nice little burn mark from a laspistol...

BLYET

Rolled 19 (1d20)

>dodges the incoming fire however
>he's shot in the back by you and stumbles forward.
>due to mutations the man can see clearly in the low light and opens fire on the servitors.

Rolled 10, 17 + 1 = 28 (2d20 + 1)

>Sadly, only one shot does anything to harm the servitors due to the darkness. But even that only clips one in the leg.
>This however, does cause it to fall to the ground.
>The other two Gun servitors begin fireing back once again against the intruders.
>For those with good enough ears, something can be heard at the end if the room.

Rolled 9, 6 = 15 (2d20)

>does a flying Spetznaz kick on one servitor
>blasts another with flamer

Adept! Can you try and shut down the alarms?
>tosses over his credentials to provide system access

Rolled 94 (1d100)

... What´s that sound?.. Where is it coming from?
>Ceases firing to identify the sound

Fooken las-shites, never good enough for anything, you'd think a fucking lasgun would do its job no matter who I'm aimin at it'd still shoot the enemy but nah, I probably fooken missed!

I don't have a good feeling 'bout anything right now

>coughs

Yup, not a good feeling about this.

Rolled 1 - 5 (1d20 - 5)

>opens fire blidnly into the servitors.
suck buckshot ya robot bastards

>messages datapad
hello adept would you mind connecting a servitor to the network provided please?

Rolled 42 (1d100)

I´ll try.
>Rapidly enters a few Inquisitorial bypasses
If I can... But first, I´ll need to open a route. And fastest way to do that is to shut down the alarm and make a manual override.

>to datapad
do what you will and you have my thanks Adept

Rolled 9, 4, 14, 11, 3 = 41 (5d20)

>That, you figure out. Is the sound of a door at the end up the room opening up.
>And added to that, are what appears to be three additional sets of footsteps entering into the room.

>sadly not one of the shots hits it's mark
>Unfortunately for the Major. The device takes a bolter round through it.

>The assembled servitors proceed to attack enmass. With two of the newbies going after the major. One gun servitors firing at the adept. The other firing at Mot. And the last one running towards Hollow

Rolled 5 (1d20)

>opens fire on the nearest servitor.
take that you bastards.

Rolled 3, 14, 4, 7 = 28 (4d20)

>His side bursts out as the bolter round detonates
>He looks down at his ruined flesh
>And his jacket
You... Tore and dirtied my jacket? Given to me by my master himself?!
>Starts walking towards the servitors, firing wildly as he closes the distance

Rolled 13 (1d20)

Ffffffuck! Well, at least some of my data should be intact if I can find a new housing...
>goes to tear out the spine of the servitor

Rolled 5 (1d20)

>charges forwards with his dagger and stabs at a servitor.
eat this!

Rolled 18, 14, 13, 1, 18 = 64 (5d20)

>One of the servitors loses an arm. But it keeps pushing forward.
>The shot clearly misses. Instead striking against a nearby metal wall.

>You clear miss it spine, but you do grab hold of one of the servitors metal arms

>The servitors, feeling no pain, Nor fear continue their attack.
>at this point, Gary is able to determine that the two servitors that rushed him were technical servitors. And they each attempt to grab him by a limb with their claws.
>One gun Servitors attempts to pin down Mot with stream of continual bolter fire (-4 to all rolls if successful roll of 15 or less)
>The other gun servitors attempts to finish the job on the adept, by firing a continual burst of bolter rounds towards him.
>The remaining servitors attempts to grab the sergeant with its power claws in an effort to rip her limb from limb

if the sergeant is t here, than it attacks the navigator

Rolled 15 - 4 (1d20 - 4)

>slashes at a servitors neck

Rolled 10 (1d20)

>arms and rolls a krak grenade into the group of servitors, laughing at the carnage he is about to create.

Rolled 11 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>starts ripping the arm off to beat the servitor and fellows to death with it
>+3 for baby Ogryn muscles