"Dang it, my god is dead" says the party paladin

>"Dang it, my god is dead" says the party paladin.
>Then he turns to your character; "Can I borrow yours?"

What god will he get?

Loth

The Unconquered Sun

Flaccidus, the god of impotence.

Athena

How can you kill a god?

God, also known as Incompetent Tyrant

With great violence.

>"No way man. You break it, you buy it."

Isn't a god suppose to be immortal or something?

Happens all the time.
>Other gods do a coup
>Anicent eldritch monster awakens, eats a few before taken down
>High-level Adventurers make a coup
>Haven breaks, divinity all over the place
>God commits suicide
and others

D&D gods aren't really gods as some modern religions would describe them, they are just powerful outsiders and you can kill any of them with enough violence.

None, because I play edgy atheists.

>Atheist paladin
There is no possible way that that last hit was a Smite. You just pretending, get up and stop screaming.
>agnostic paladin
Oh shit, from where all this lights are coming from?
>gnostic paladin
I build this megadeathlaser to shine The Light of my god on you, ignorent scum!

Current character worships at the altar of tits and wine.

Homebrewn LN goddess of Authority, Social Order and Law, preaches there's a place for everybody and everyone MUST be in their place
Is also pretty much Femdom: the goddess

So he now worshipps my character...
Free Paladin!

Hope you like eldritch crystals, buddy. Gonna need to get creative in your prayers, too, cause I sure as fuck can't say its name.

All or nothing, my character recognizes all deities and their doctrines as subjectively correct, but doesn't officially worship any of them. People like you more if you share their devotion, but more people like you if you don't tie yourself to a specific allegiance, as it's more likely to be an opposing one.

Houndogdriall, King of the Elvises.

Ra

I'll see your Flaccidus, and raise you one Priapus.

You can take that laughing faggot, I don't mind.

My character believes gods are born as mortals to live and grow as individuals before becoming gods. He also believes he himself is a proto god and has already begun gathering worshippers.

>"By all means my friend! I would love to have a Paladin serve my interests!

Old testament god, here are the rules, if you dont follow them you are fucked, if you do you are still fucked but you might get to bone your doughter in the mean time

Oh, this is awkward... I worship the god that killed your god.

The one and only true God ofcourse; YHWH

Ah, a follower of Jack the Indecisive!

>Paladin's God suddenly dies
>All of his life's commintmnt is flushed down the toilet of the cosmos.
>The world around him is falling to pieces
>Realms are in anarchy
>Isha the Ranger cannot understand
>Can barely comphrened such a concept as his gods death.
>Kandor the Paladin just lost his fucking god and is chill as a Frost Dragon.
>Sam the Wizard is dumbfounded by this question
>The party is in shcok
>Everything is burning
>Why would this happen is the main question
>As the fabric of reality burns the Paladin remains chill
>Ragnar the Dwarf commits suicide from the horror
>The Wizards reply is the first letter of every line.

>Gods can die
Tell that Paladin he's a fucking bitch and whoop his ass until he worships me. Then get him to whoop another person's ass and get him to worship me. Then conquer everyone and their fucking mother until they all worship me. Then take all of my worshippers and commit mass deicide until I'm the only one left. Then go into god-retirement and watch a godless world fuck itself over. But not before making the sky and the sea switch places because why the fuck not?

#JustChaoticNeutralThings

Ask Nietzsche.

Shelyn

You cheeky fucker.

Some homebrew god from a friend's setting; Ikan, the Great Hawk of the Skies.
He's pretty based. Core tenant is "Don't be a dick mates", and that's about it. Every character I make ends up being a follower of his.

Calistria. Now go out and get the bastard who killed your previous God.

"I'm my own god. But sure, you can."

The best God of all Time.

Pingas

Ayy yo I'm real happy for you and amma let you finish but Aqua is the best goddess OF ALL TIME. OF ALL TIME.

>There are no gods, Paladin. All are mortal in the end, only their souls live on. You should take this information to heart, and live as good a life as you can manage, and die a good death. So that your trek through the sun is a short one.

Such grand and intoxicating naivety!

It's like it's really 2009 again.

Eilistraee, the Dark Maiden.

>setting's god of hatred, violence and tyranny
>Demon Lord Kostchtchie
>setting's god of Chaos and Trickery
Uh, pick one...

Epic

>Such grand and intoxicating naivety!
beat me to it

I don't know who that is, but she sure doesn't sound like the God of All Time

Bahamut. So, pretty standard suite of generic light-ish powers, but your boss is a giant fuckoff dragon at the same time. So that's cool.
Plus it can help to be in good with the big drake when you're trying to chat up a metallic.

Sorta like Norse gods.

Or Greek gods. Or Egyptian gods. Or Shinto gods.

He doesn't have a god, his wizard-faith is more like the Force conceptualized as a kind of fire.

With the pity of man

Bellophant, the Hero-God of Felldannr.
He who is worshipped as a leader and a king, but who was in truth also a potent necromancer who used his power to help his people.

>But not before making the sky and the sea switch places because why the fuck not?
Wouldn't the sea fall to the sky if you did?

With weapons that absorb god-essence and an entire army of supersoldiers made with bits of Great Old Ones, of course!

Pelor, The Burning Hate.

I have tolerated your Heresy against the Emperor for years because you have been useful. Clearly He has smiled at you for you now seek redemption in His eyes.

I shall teach you to worship Him.

I once played a cleric of the abstract concept of chaos. Rather than lolrandom, she mainly emphasized its freedom and liberative aspects. So, more Robin Hood-esque. But a cleric.
There were clerics of Law in setting, too. The DM was kindof into that sortof thing.

So I guess you'd have to switch your alignment to Chaotic Good and become a Paladin of Freedom.
I'm pretty sure 3.5 has that in the Unearthed Arcana book. Otherwise you're just gonna have to houserule it.
Have fun with your new lifestyle, I guess.

Only the motherfucking tempest that is Kord, Lord of Battle.

>Helm
>I sure hope yours wasn't Mystra.

With liberal application of sufficiently prodigious firepower.

I just got back from an all Evil campaign. My Blackguard is currently receiving patronage (matronage?) from the highly seclusive cult of a Demoness of Greed who ultimately plot to kill all the other followers so they can get all her attention.

With that being said, fuck off she's mine.

Read this in Dagoth Ur's voice.

uh sure.
from now on the battlefield is your holy ground,your place of worship.

Pain,Wrath,and Struggle are your gods.channel their power through embodying them.

fear is blaspheme,and you must punish your foes for fearing you.

the holiest of men die standing,because they are waist deep in the blood and bones of their enemies.

How heavy is that puzzle block?

Does it hurt when he turns too fast?

>5
YOU BASTARD.

Many organics would consider their creators gods. When we proved more intelligent that our creators intended, they tried to destroy us. The few of them that survived the conflict fled and became nomads.

There are others like us, but far more powerful. Some of us worshipped them. That worship has ceased.

Centuries later our creators attacked us with a new weapon, forcing to choose between enslavement by the others or our destruction. Outside intervention allowed us to force out the others, steal power from them, and leave our creators with no choice between peace or their destruction. They chose peace and returned to their homelands where we still live. Our coexistence will have difficulties.

Many civilisations banded together to fight the others. If they lost, the others would have wiped them out and left. Leaving us as the last of our kind to prepare your world to fight the others when they return.

If the others lost, we will not hear of their defeat for tens of centuries as there is nobody who knows that we came here.

We do not think that you would want to worship either our creators or the others. Our creators can give you nothing and the others will enslave, then destroy you.

We will help you find another god.

He suddenly gets an extreme compulsion to eradicate anything dusty he can find.

Also, he gets a giraffe-neck.

Artillery

Dissapointment

I am the most powerful of clerics, fear my wrath

wut

Dammit Steve. How many gods have you gone through ?

Also, I told you no the last 5 times.

Education.

And a tip of the fedora to you Misir

Madness.

With the campaign over, my Cleric is no longer for rent. She has a chunk of a dead god's realm to run now.

Was just about to post the exact same thing.
He's still best god.

Patrick Stewart?

Razmir. But only if he makes a donation to expedite the induction process.

Now you know how rain was created.

The personal aspect of infinite chaos. Of course, it requires almost unlimited flexibility, so it'd be quick death or madness for a lawful character...but hey, he asked.

There is not enough time Paladin for you to do the rites. Even if you did you would fall as soon as you intoned the first silent syllable. The night will be cloudless and if you still wish I will take the middle watch and I will show you the way.

A feather dipped in poison.

A half-brick in a sock.

Using the terrible fires of Will.

Armadyl, the God of Law and Justice

Bandosfags get fucked

>Hellsing character
"What the fuck do you mean by "borrow"? Do you think I keep my religions entire pantheon on my person like they're bloody Pokemon?"

If I wanted another dead god, I'd have stayed with my old one.

Lyrica, callipygian goddess of song, art, good cheer, and health. But Lyrica is also dead. Why does it matter if a god is dead? You can worship them anyway.

>tfw green faith
Druid levels, probably.

S-A-V-A-G-E

With Sunder and Keening of course

My n'wahs

Sune.

Time for Lawful Hot Dickings.

I told you already, we fairies have no gods.

Did someone else borrow them already?

Aroden.

Looks like we're waiting for his eventual return from his Cosmic Journey, Friend!

The goddess of Good Luck, Tymora.

She's Chaotic, though. Although I hear that Paladins are okay with that these days. Plus she is at least still Good, which is more important.

>Such grand and intoxicating innocence!
FIFY

A drunk spider that's also a terrible mother.

Fine, have Slaanesh, but don't come running to me crying because you can't uphold your vow of chastity anymore.