Be Elven royalty

Nah

You might get the impression that time passes slowly from the way your memory works, but a lot of time is still a lot of time.

Someone who lived 80 years feels like a lot more time passed than someone who lived 20.
Same for someone who lived a thousand godamn years.

Someone who lived for 20 years, 5 years will feel like a shitload of time.

For someone that lived for 80 years, the past 5 years won't feel that long at all.

Everyone knows that the actual time passed is the same, but it doesn't FEEL that way and that's what matters in OPs topic.

If their brains are wired differently, how can one claim "they still experience time as slowly as everyone else"? Then everything is up in the air.

It doesn't matter if it feels like it's a bit less.
Because it is A LOT MORE

Elves are more accepting of thrir lot in life unlike humans.

Just look at elf slaves.

Well obviously since their brains can repair and hold a lot more memories than a human's we have to assume they can remember a lot more in years 490-500 than some guy can in years 40-50.

An elf puts a slice of toast in a toaster, and continues to stare at it as it toasts.

Does it seem to take forever to them?

Elves aren't humans.

An elf is too busy being narcissistic to care about looking at his toast.

Even worse for LotR elves, they never grow old and die ever. Elf Prince will be an elf prince until the day the earth crashes into the sun.

Depends on whether or not they are at war though

For a few seconds, but then they remember that time in 84th grade when they spilled water all over their pantaloons and everyone laughed.

Why bother with an Elven kingdom?

Marry human royalty, and your son will take power within no time. Then the next generation will see you with a number of grandsons who you can lend your 'expertise' to.

If at any time you get bored with waiting to take over your own kingdom, just encourage a grandson to fight the elves because their elven royal lineage gives them a valid claim, and you would eagerly run a puppet kingdom for them and then overwhelm the human kingdoms once said grandsons perish.

You aren't thinking dastardly enough, OP.

First, depends on the setting.

But generally?
No, because Elves aren't ambitious like humans. So long as the king isn't a complete fuckup, and you're comfortable, you'll probably be more interested in publicly beating the king in an archery contest or learn to weave baskets that fold than you will advancing in social status when you're already high.

>supporting interspecies marriages
That's immoral and wrong.

>Elves live for centuries
>Worse still, they're immortal
And that's what makes them impossible to write. It's one of those "Tolkien did it so now everyone must do it" things. Tolkien's elves were pretty much übermenschen, so far above even the Numenorians that they were close to unapproachable. They were living gods.

In any other setting, where they're a "normal" race, living for multiple centuries would horribly fuck up their perception of time. Famines would come and go in a flesh, empires rise and fall as they're studying a new subject etc.

Make them long-lived if you want, but 200 years should be the absolute maximum to still make them relatable.

>No, because Elves aren't ambitious like humans.
And that brings me to another subject: how generic humans are. All other races have confirmed and sensible strengths and weaknesses, but humans are bland and boring. They rely on buzzwords like "ambitious" or "versatile" or "creative".

>depends on rhe setting

You mean depends on the elf.
Really, there's no need to drag your stupid forced meme with you everywhere you go.

Why should the elves be relatable?
Elves should not be a playable race in the first place.
That is not their role.

>Be immortal eldar/noldor etc
>Be royal heir
>Hire assasins to kill the assasins after pops and ma. Cause you won't stop partying only to rule for the next 15 millennia until some brat of yours matures

I mean lets be realistic, what immortal royal scion would want to end the high life only to acquire responsibility when they have some perfectly fine patsi-..parents doing the work for them? And since they are immortal too they can delay indefinitely!

Lets be honest, were I in that situation i would fret every time pa and ma caught a cold and would start searching for the best damn party of healer/priest/exorcist/witch hunter etc in the 19 closest planes! I have bastards to make with the nearest fertile dragoness/human female/amazon/orc/demon/naga/murloc/balrog/angel etc as well as parties to throw fuck obligations.

Basically most elven royalty would be unaging std prof Charie sheens..

Why are all elfs such sluts which need punishment?

They aren't. It's a meme that needs to die.

Elves are a meme that need to die.

In my setting, elven royalty often get human heroes to do dangerous quests for them, and reward them with elven princesses.

They consider this safe, because the human will die in a couple of decades. The princess can then marry a proper elf, having sown her wild oats. Any half-elves that resulted will have such short lifespans that they'll die before ever getting close to the succession.

Hence the half-elf NPC who's pissed at his mother for letting his father die ("It was just his time, sweetie, humans don't live long" "He had PNEUMONIA you could have HEALED HIM") and is trying to get the PCs to help him murder his way up through the ranks until he gets his fucking crown.

>with a number of grandsons who you can lend your 'expertise' to.
Did anyone else think this line was about kiddy diddling?

Every magical realm must be destroyed.

>Any half-elves that resulted will have such short lifespans that they'll die before ever getting close to the succession
No, this is completely retarded. That royal half-blood will be more than eager to kill his full-blood brothers, because he has less time on earth to have a chance of being a king. This also completely defeats the purpose of virginity and its importance for royal families.

My elves live in the demon lands because of old wars.
No one assassinates the lord of hell

>how generic humans are.
I don't get why people always puzzle over this one.
The writer, being human, is always far more likely to make them the basline so it's easier to put differences in other species into context.
It's not rocket science.

>That royal half-blood will be more than eager to kill his full-blood brothers, because he has less time on earth to have a chance of being a king.

Yes, that is the plot. In the past it hasn't been as much of a problem; the half-elven princes were raised among full-blooded fey, who might be willing to use the mongrels in a scheme or two but would never actually put one on the throne. The half-blood doesn't become a real threat until he gains the PCs as allies. As in many fun plots, the PCs come into a deadlocked situation and disrupt it.

>This also completely defeats the purpose of virginity and its importance for royal families.

1. The "virgin" thing was often a polite fiction, which has been greatly exaggerated by time.

2. When heredity is magically verifiable, it loses any significance it ever had.

Its every half-elfs god given right to murder his fool blooded pompous brothers.

I like this.

>not killing disgusting half-breeds
It's like you don't even /pol/.

The opening of Elric of Melnibone is one hell of a drug.

Fuck it, I wanted to read that shit a since forever. Ordered.

First book is good, last book is great, the ones in between are hit and miss, but all perfectly readable.

It's also nice to read through a work that has such a large hand in establishing so many modern fantasy staples.

>When heredity is magically verifiable, it loses any significance it ever had.
Except for the romantic, sentimental, and religious weight it typically carries in most cultures and mindsets. Young virgin females are desirable on a primal level. Plus it's weird to assume some mage in the setting at some point made a spell for something as mundane yet likely incredibly complex as checking heredity with 100% accuracy and also that this mage can't be bought by whoever wants to get rid or deceptively keep of their spouse. Besides's not like people in our day in age have completely lost all idealism for virginity because we can check our kids heredity with blood tests. It's a huge slap in your wifes face to ask for the kids to be checked.

Are you also frustrated how Earth gravity is the base line? and other worlds are compared to it?

Are you also frustrated how we record distance in light vs a Terran year?

It's almost like... we have a baseline that's familiar to us... and compare other things to it?

woah

>Young virgin females are desirable on a primal level.

Young females, yes. Virgin, no.

Some people, like you, care about virginity. Those who do seem to care about it on a deep, irrational level, and can't fathom not caring about it.

Those who care less find people like you pretty creepy.

>the romantic, sentimental, and religious weight it typically carries in most cultures and mindsets

It's really not nearly as universal as people like you seem to think. From the outside, it seems like a weird and unhealthy obsession that a few people in every culture have. Like paranoia, or being a germophobe.

You do realize that virginity isn't universally desired by all cultures right?

And that during the medieval period it was often nigh impossible to determine if someone was a virgin because a) not everyone is born with a hymen and it can regrow after being broken and b) it's all too easily broken by doing mundane activities such as horse riding or even running.

Like most pop culture ideas about the middle ages it's just another Enlightenment meme ala absolute kingship, brutal tortures and everybody being covered in shit.

There's ten thousand of your shitposting waifuspam threads for every one.

You can't ever run away from Veeky Forums's waifu, shitposter-kun.

Is Ribbon the waifu?
I thought Cestree was the one Veeky Forums wanted to bang, and Ribbon was the one Veeky Forums identified with.

Ribbon's the cuter of the two.

Elves are not as obsessed with power as humans.

I've been here far longer than the shitty comic, longer than the shitty spammer, and I'll be here long after they're both gone.

That's kind of sad, to be honest.

Yeah, when did the comics first appear?
Looking at 1d4chan.
Date stamp on Veeky Forums Explained #1 says it was first uploaded September 15th, 2009, but they wouldn't have started an article about it right away so it must have been on the boards well before that.

Have you been on Veeky Forums far longer than eight years?

>not wanting to bang Ribbon

don't worry user, the party van is on its way

Either one's a solid pick.

Not very. You don't get to be King in elven society without being clever and subtle.

Assassination ATTEMPTS, however, are probably quite numerous. Doubt many of them get very far though.

Depends on the elf. Ambassador Ruthari's held his position for nearly a millenia ever since he started holding "Succession" balls every Jubilee.

Attendance is going to be low for the next one however, quite a few nobles found it distasteful to fake public suicide, even if the night quite literally turned into an all-night symposium on discreet methods of murder.

They were rather appalled when he came down in the morning to join us for breakfast. If I recall correctly the Azurnill family has outright declared they will not attend again: Rumor has it they intended to poison his morning tea, but called it off when he "offed himself" during dinner.

>You do realize that virginity isn't universally desired by all cultures right?
but thats a lie, goddamn feminist athropologist, stop falsificating your data to fit your narrative.

Something being understandable doesn't make it any less bothersome.
I understand that a child is impatient and will scream when not getting what they want. That does nothing to alleviate me desire to staple his fucking mouth shut.
I know why humans are generic, but that doesn't excuse it.

>stop falsificating your data
>a lie that virginity isn't revered by all cultures

What data do you have that the majority of human (50.1%) cultures, past and present, valued virginity as much as the ones you're thinking of?

Not him but I'm wondering how you can talk about false data when you have yet to provide proof for anything you've claimed.

Human brains do grow new cells though. They just don't replace as fast as they die off.

So theoretically, if medieval societies had ways of verifying who the father was, virginity wouldn't have been such a fuss in nobility?

I'd rather listen to an anthropologist/archaeologist/historian than a paranoid /pol/lack.

>Excuse

Humans are the baseline for a good reason, we are human, it does not need 'excusing'. To have a problem with that or find it bothersome is absurd.