Psst. Hey, you. Yeah, you there, with the sword

Psst. Hey, you. Yeah, you there, with the sword.

Y'know, that's a solid, dependable weapon you've got there. But you're not going to turn any heads when everyone else in the party is shooting off fireballs. Why not try something a little more... exotic?

I don't harvest wheat, sorry

>Why not try something a little more... exotic?

... like a big sword?

I know. You're gonna say "a scythe isn't realistic, it's completely impractical as a melee weapon." But, really, didn't realism go out the window the second the guy who turns into a bear joined up?

C'mon, give me a swing. You won't regret it.

/thread

What if I told you anyone this scythe touches turns to wheat, hmm?

Go on, just pick it up and take a swing, what's the worse that can happen?

You turning into wheat?

I get that. I really do, I was thinking of going for say, a giant hammer, a zweihander maybe.
But you know, I might be able to make you work. If you weren't covered in spines. And on the bit I want to hold. It's just not evoking the concept of an effortlessly clean cut to reap my foes as though they were corn, y'know?

Tempting offer. But couldnt we, you know, maybe make it more practical? Maybe tweak the blade a bit?

Maybe it's just the metal part that turns dudes to wheat.

>i don't turn heads

sorry old man, but once you go ayy you never go back

My parents told me to stay away from strange farm implements

The entire bloody thing is metal mate, don't take his tool

Indeed, maybe it is.

Might as well touch the handle and see. No point living the rest of your life thinking "maybe I should have touched that scythe that turns people into wheat rather than just swinging a sword the rest of my long and somewhat interesting life". Never live life with regrets, that's my motto. That and; "pick up the scythe."

Only Exotic Dudes get Exotic Weapons.

...you aren't a CURSED scythe are you? It's just, I normally wouldn't ask, but most magical items aren't so insistent.

>mfw some ancient farmer forced to fight in a war cursed his weapon to turn anything that picks it up into wheat because that was the only way that he could make it though all the horrors, imagining his enemies as but wheat that he would reaper come harvest season

It's cursed with anime.

id rather have the one that turns me to wheat

Now see, at least that scythe has a definite edge, it's clean, it's clear and there's nothing impeding it's movement.
Honestly except for the wielder it isn't even all that anime.

And on that subject of the wielder;
WHAT ARE THOOOOSE?!

Bird/dinosaur claw thing?

I imagine if the blade can shift positions (i.e. point up like the typical war scyth or fold down and essentially become a halbred) you'd have a pretty versital weapon.

With that, you can switch up your techinques and save the classic "reaping" form for when you hook around the opponent and draw back to slice their head off or cause the blade to fold into it's halbred from and scissor the offending limb

You know, the classic scythe we see in media isn't a real scythe? Real scythes have blades roughly perpendicular to the shaft, not parallel.

I'm , and while I've never harvested wheat, my grandpa, grandma, and mom all did, and they used real scythes.

...

...but blades perpendicular to the shaft are the scythes we see in media. It's the blades parallel to the shaft that are the ones converted for war by fucked up Polacks with too much time and not enough oppressive lords on their hands.

You use a scythe? Cute.

I'm confused. Pretty sure all scythes I ever see (except those old polish war-scythes) have blades perpendicular to the shaft?

Maybe they meant to say something about straight shafts in media as opposed to curved or double curved ones?

I realise only now that came out more sexual than intended.

I love the scythe aesthetic.
I also love greatswords and tridents and dual wielding. And dual wielding scythes.
Death to practicality.

I can't afford the exotic weapon feats

I prefer Moons

What about war picks?
Go dwarf, dual wield war picks. Mine people's skull-geodes for brains.

There is a Soul Eater reference with scythes and moons in there somewhere but for the life of me I can't think of a good one.

I need a source.

Piastol from Skies of Arcadia. Supposed to be a tough fight, but I always mopped the deck with her.

Was kinda expecting a bloodborne reference there desu senpai

I'm in.

A scythe you say? Well, let's see, I got my family sword, my family short sword, my personal shortsword, my personal sword, about five knives, a sword I took from a foreign enemy, a pair of pistols from the nanban, a rifle from the nanban, a bow, arrows, a spear, a glaive, a great club, a pair of sai, some of those throwing star things shinobi use.

Yeah, sure, I'll try a scythe. How much, man? My horse and my apprentice carry most of my crap anyway.

Just get me one that won't snap at a join the size of a dime.

SCYTHES DONT WORK REEEEERRRFRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDSSEEEEEEEEEE

What like TWO swords?

And you're wearing your swords upside down. Fucking amateurs.

Imagine if your magic scythe blade was made of countless tiny blades, and by turning a knob you could reconfigure it into the shape of a halberd or a trident or pretty much any hafted weapon, but it would always look as jagged and awkward as OP's scythe.

So, the dragon's tooth sword from deus ex?

Still not big enough, really if you don't get the point where you are dual wielding two handed swords because your strength is that high, your character is either more rp based, or absolute shit.

That's a big sword.

They're not looking at your sword.

For you.

>Why not try something a little more... exotic?
Yeah, I'm good.

But maybe you should leave the farming tools at home, you look kinda silly.

Por que no los dos?

History's strongest siscon.

I actually have it set up in my character's backstory that his grandfather carries around a "folding battle-scythe" solely to look intimidating and MAYBE cut through thick brush, given it's a tiny bit harder to go Indiana Jones on a guy that unfurls and then starts spinning a blade around when firearms don't much exist past a crossbow. He actually mains archery with a finesse weapon for close-quarters, the family is dex-martials to the core.

I like this idea

Besides being full of spikes aimed at my hands, you're a blind weapon.

This sword was made from a scythe blade. I call it "renaissance falcata".

No.
I like my Fuckoff Huge Club
It's only Huge, but I wrote Fuck Off on the side.

What if its also a gun?

x4 crit range is near-meaningless to a PC; they roll a huge amount of damage, half of which would have killed, but fuck anyone who gives mooks scythes. I'd rather surrender than risk some stupid chance of instant death against a militia of level 1 barbarians armed with scythes. Any other weapon crits on you, even one with higher average damage, you still have time to back off, fight more defensively, heal up, drink a potion of get out of dodge, etc. Not scythes.

But my sword is already also a scythe. Or maybe it was the other way around.

Glad you do, it's part of my attempt at making him "humorously prideful". Other examples include catching a young dragon by pretending to pass out, followed by wrestling it down and having it swear fealty to the family line there's only five family members that I've come up with, and I don't make use of it anyway, using a bow with his feet on a dare to workable accuracy, claiming his surname "Siannai" is the root for "cyanide" it isn't, and tossing his walking stick aside if anyone insults him for being "crippled" which he isn't, I intend for him to flex a nice Intimidate score after he does so. The walking stick is actually for the dual-wielding father, who carries a staff of his own, being druidic-nature-guy.
This is indeed terribly true, but you it's hard to deny pulling a coup de grace with a scythe would feel at least a little badass.

Such a weapon can only be wielded by Best Girl.

>two swords
>not two whipswords
Step up senpai.

Exotic? You mean like a bastard sword?

>bastard swords are exotic
this meme needs to die

T-Rex Na Kanojo

...

This is now funny as shit because Zestiria has a dual sword character that does gain dual benefits.

If it's good enough for edgy Joan of Arc it's good enough for me too.

Do I look like a fucking peasant to you?

By exotic, I'm going to assume you meant erotic.

IM GOING TO FIGHT EVIL WITH A FLOPPY HORSE DICK ON A STICK

...

How 'bout a big scalpel?

Cutting wheat with a scythe, are you simple son?

You mean a particularly sharp and brittle spear?

Can I use a kusarigama instead?

He wasn't wrong, considering he eventually became the strongest swordsman of his time.

But best girl uses a revolver rapier.

Then make one. Christ. They're not complicated.

And how is a scythe supposed to help me in this case?

Boobs?

Those shoes are baffling

It works for birds bro. Why not humans too?

>the universe bends to the infinite frustration and depression of one man
greekmyth/10

Children earn fame by use of impractical flashy weapons. Men earn fame and glory by accomplishments alone.

do command traits that affect the Allegiance bonus like Death command that that gives +1 to deathless minions or the destruction one that gives +2 to rampaging destroyers affect all those rolls or just the ones in your generals range?

Why would I want my enemies to focus on me in battle? I'm in it for the money, not the glory.

>Not doing it all for the bitches
Use a scythe, bitches love scythes.

Actually Politicians earn fame by use of impractical flashy weapons. Ceasar's use of a gladius made out of the bones of Gaulish children was what made him so feared on the battlefield.

>Y'know, that's a solid, dependable weapon you've got there. But you're not going to turn any heads when everyone else in the party is shooting off fireballs.

>He can't unerringly sweep aside a dozen foes with the mere wind cast by his swept blade
>He can't awaken the Chi of his sword to slice apart a dozen foes with mirage swords forged of the pure sharpness of your killing intent and the awakened soul of your blade
>He can't write insulting poetry in the loose earth with his sword point while simultaneously fending off his foe, guarding both your body and the completeness of your writings from your enemy's feeble attacks

If you don't look cool with a sword, that just means you're not trying hard enough.

Don't talk to me and my squire ever again.

but i like my pole-sword

Post more ancient gay fencers.

im sorry you seem to have mispelled "fist", which by the way is only four letters not fourteen

How about I greater cleave your shit?

There's some secret powers involved in using a giant scalpel though. Like the ability to weaponize your own body

Why would I use a scythe when this is objectively superior, much fancier, and can be used more adeptly from horseback?

I mean shit man, this is what wikipedia has to say about the fanciness of glaives.