How do l kiss, by surprise, an elf that is taller than me?

KEK

My fellow of high challenges, wear satin and get a ladder.

Never fails.

Use your arms or tippy toes if you're not too much shorter.

Is this an amazon elf thread now because it sure can be.

Do Spiderman. Costume optional.

Did someone said anything about amazonian pointy-eared beauties?

Please stop.

What if I'm not tall enough for that either?

...

By not being shorter than 5'11"

Yooo...

Perhaps.

Aim for the lips and if you miss and hit lower...that's fine too.

You tell her to take off her oversized high-heels

Retards can make all kinds of threads, but the biggest tragedy is that they get so much replies.

Kiss her in her sleep. Gets over height issue and surprise.

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Hi /co/

Running jump

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>Fowl up her folds.
kek.

Did l mentioned that the elf is question is white and virgin and has wide hips ?

Cry more, homo

not romantic enough

We already gave the elf stats. What more do you want?

I don't know user, maybe you should fuck off and make place for threads that are actually about traditional games.

You did your best user, but's futile.

stilts

That would definitely up the surprise factor

>fantasy is not traditional game enough

k

>I can talk about every facet of human imagination on Veeky Forums as long as I put the word "elf" somewhere in my post

Now you get it

Archer > Joan > not!Alucard > Anastasia > Titty Elf

>elfs are't a fantasy element in traditional games
>no such thing as (you)xTallerElf in my tabletops, nope, that's heresy.
> >taller women >fantasy not on my campaign

But user, my reaction image, that is more Veeky Forums related than this whole thread, shpould make it clear that I'm against this sentiment.

OP just has a fetish for tall girls and somewhere heard that Veeky Forums is /d/-lite. He never played any traditional games, but wants to shit up the board, so here we are.

>>no such thing as (you)xTallerElf in my tabletops
Give me one example. Actually smut-poster got driven out of Veeky Forums for good reasons.

But Veeky Forums is /d/lite

>needing other boards

But it isn't /smut/.

present state of things is nowhere near the /d/-lite-ness that Veeky Forums was couple years ago

>heard that Veeky Forums is /d/-lite.
>implying it isn't
Or at least was back when this board wasn't crap because of munchkins like you.

> He never played any traditional games,
>

>but wants to improve up the board, so here we are we me crying
Elfs women belong to human men, cry more.

We could actually talk about tall elves and how they'd intermingle into a human nation.

>Elfs women belong to human men
So you are one of those faggots, that see elves as nothing but a fucktoy? That bases elves only on porn and headcanon? I bet you haven't read the Silmarillion. Fuck off, your elves are lame.

I recognize that belt.

>Implying human women do not desire the knifeear D
Silence Tyrone. Return to your corn and your cobblestones, and play dice or shoot each other, whatever it is your loathsome kind do.

>good reasons

Your feels are a god awnful reason you fucking cunt, instead of fucking off to tumblr you abominations decided to ruin this board, not its is a sjw ridden cancer with no interesting topics.
Can't talk about >meanwhile in Veeky Forums ork camp... or Elf Slave What Do or What is best waifu race without getting banned and deleted, and its all because of cry babies like you.
Veeky Forums used to be the best fucking board ever, now its fucking trash, and not even the good kind of trash.

Because of reddit like you we no longer have the "shipost" that we love and cucks in the moderation. I can't post porn or even say the N word anymore.

Maybe you should fuck off and MAKE those threads?

Oh no, now we can actually talk about elves in a reasonable fashion! Whatever should I do with my fantastic greentext fanfiction about my human self insert getting all the elfen pussy?

Do you?

...

Yes, it always comes back to this argument. You are never allowed to criticise something until you have created a better version of it. Which is even more dumb because you can't know how many threads I, anonymous, created.

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You subsapient baboon.
You literal human.

How dare you speak, you swarthy city monkey. How dare you open your big lipped, grain encrusted, pipe-weed smelling mouth?

You are mortal trash, John St. Geological Feature Town McOccupation. Universally despised, derided and mocked. Your nationality and ear shape offers no hope to the world that human lands can ever prosper. Crawl back in to the Southern jungle you came out of, you literal troglodyte.

I hope you decide to sail your grandfathers skip to the Elflands and rape some sheep, as is in the human's nature. It would still be the whitest pussy you ever had. Give Illandil and Sylvanthas a chance for some target practice, your sole use to the world. Humans' obsession with a few windswept islands in the ocean is hilarious but sad. Coincidentally its the only worthwhile contribution a human has made to the medical field. The MUH MANIFEST DESTINY sentiment in the average human is both an early warning sign of autism in children, and early on set Alzheimer's in adults.

Take your mortal hairy fingers off your keyboard, and never talk about elvish affairs again you antiquated construction equipment. No amount of cheekbone surgery or ear trimming will make you an elf. It's about as delusional of an idea as your daydreams of Numenorian heritage. Your crude makeup isn't fooling anyone.

You human.

You make Mordor look like a beacon of civilization.

You are the Baltimore of Middle Earth

Go fertilize Pelinor Fields with you and your family's corpses, its the best you can hope for in life. For the first time in your life human, you will have a job. Making food for a race of beings of infinitely higher worth than you. Gondorian cattle. Coincidentally, it would be the first time a human "man" provided for a family.

Die, mortal. No one would miss you. Except for the Dwarves, who now would have no one to make them look good.

Leap from above
"WITNESS ME"

Not enough. Until you push all the junk off page 10 with what you consider good threads then you haven't made enough.

>implying i don't go after elfs because they are the only pure females out there

I know of their culture and genetics,They are not parasitic evil baby machines or brutal rapists, they are intelligent and enlightened and that's why l like them.

>reasonable fashion

Like most posters are doing? talking about the ways to start a relationship with the elf?
You are the only offtopicfag in here crying like that.
fucking newfag thinking Veeky Forums is only about numbers, we have imagination and smut in here you know, not everything neeeds to be about 40k and killing things.

I know you haven't made any today because you're here whinning instead of being at your own glorious and reasonable thread

Aren't elves usually under 5'6"?

Are you roleplaying halflings? I almost typed dwarves and then realized a dwarf wouldn't give a fuck.

Pitfall trap

I think you mean Veeky Forums is a /D/elight.

Lucha the shit out of her!

Depends on the setting, depends on the subspecies.

>fucking newfag thinking Veeky Forums is only about numbers, we have imagination and smut in here you know
There is no imagination. You know I would be more favorable at smut if it wouldn't be the same
>human self-insert meets elf waifu
>elf waifu falls for human self-insert because he's so humanly
all the damn time. That also actually treats this fictional race with respect instead of degrading them into one-dimensional cute anime girls. Even I wrote elf-smut.

Hmmm... perhaps I should have said Lucha the hell out of her.

I like tall abazoness elves. And shortstack elves.

>be Goliath over 2,40 meters tall
Uh we are talking about warhammer 40k elves aren't we....

>There is no imagination
Them be imaginative yourself.
user, no one is going to do anything for you, specially in neo/tg/. You'll have To Get shit done.

>>human self-insert meets elf waifu
>>elf waifu falls for human self-insert because he's so humanly
It's funny sometimes, specially if they mocking it.
But yeah, no creativity allowed in here now-a-days.

>elf anime girls.
Fucking disgusting indeed.

>Even I wrote elf-smut.
You disgust me.

>elves usually under 5'6"

what u smokin? Most females are the size of alpha males.

Wait, elves are shorter than humans in DND. They didn't recon that, did they?

Simply gesture her down, she will accommodate assuming that you have something to tell or show her. Elves are polite that way.

>he thinks shitty D&D elves are the norm
Most elves are short, lad.

But would she still fallk in love with me?

>You gesture her to bend over so you can tell her something
>You give her a soft kiss on the lips
>She instantly springs up, blushing, grabbing her cheeks and stuttering

Pure elves are best elves.

The D&D manuals describe elves as shorter than humans.

What? What the fuck, guys?

>Most elves are short
user, I don't think this is right. Does anybody know if Tolkiens elves are taller than ordinary humans?

>Most elves are short, lad.

Your elfs are shit and so are you, please leave.

cockpunch him, then once he's doubled over, whisper, "Cho'Gall did nothing wrong" before frenching him as he gasps in astonishment

Best her in battle and give her a smooch on the lips once she in on the ground.

Elves are literally humans but special. They were created as parts of the same species. They have the same heights.

>he doesn't use the original Norse mythology
S U B H U M A N

Depends on the elf really
High Elf would never speak to you again, and probably fry you with magic.
Same with a Drow, except she'd secretly like it.
Now a Wood Elf, they respect strength and nature. Both of which can be kinda rape-y, so you have a good chance of a Wood Elf being into that.

What the fuck system are you playing?

>They range from under 5 feet tall to just over 6 feet, but they are slender, weighing only 100 to 145 pounds. Males are about as tall as and only marginally heavier than females.

>Elves are literally humans but special
Not really, they are much more.

>They were created as parts of the same species
I don't think that this was stated anywhere.
I'm talking about Tolkien elves btw. The rest depends on the setting.

>They range from under 5 feet tall to just over 6 feet, but they are slender, weighing only 100 to 145 pounds. Males are about as tall as and only marginally heavier than females.
Hate these elves. Warcraft NEs have always been the coolest elves.

So am I. Read the lore, you subhuman nigger. Eru created the elves and humans at the same time, the only difference between them is spiritual. Elves can become humans because (SPOILER ALERT) they're the same fucking species. It's a metaphor for the Garden of Eden bullshit.

Oh yeah, let's go super cartoony Warcraft shit.

Fucker. Are your gnomes wisecracking, shrill, technicolored foot high shits?

>Did l mentioned that the elf is question is white and virgin and has wide hips ?
tfw when you might be dating a girl like that. Well, without being an elf, but she's the closest I've got; tall, slender, loves nature, talks with animals. Missing the pointy ears, though.

Would be even better if I knew for sure whether we're dating or not, but I haven't figured out a way to discreetly find that out, and fear just asking directly would scare her off.

Elves can become humans when they are half-elves and chose to be human. A human can't chose to be an elf. Yes, there is a big spiritual difference, but this difference is big enough to not view elves as simple humans +1.

Can you prove me that they are created at the exact same time?

Please blog somewhere else.

Yes.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Silmarillion

Read it, if you want proof of my assertions.

Underage please go

I read it some time ago and don't remember it. So if you are so sure about it you should be able to tell me.

I already have, lad. If you want more proof than assertions, "read the Silmarillion" is pretty much the only reply. Go skim stackexchange's shit abouy Tolkien elves if you feel like it, idk.

Awesome, the next elf smut thread has been created. This is what we get for not banning you outright. Stupid threads about your fanfiction for which you don't need to play traditional games, so every faggot can join in.

I tried it with my girlfriend. It did not end so well.