ELF FACTS

>Elves reach maturity at 150 years old
>some live as long as 400

At last science finds the answers to the questions we'd all been wondering:
bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-37047168

>get elf loli
>she remains loli for your entire lifespan

I'd definitely aim for the younger side of lolis.

Bear in mind they grow at 1cm per year for their entire life span, so younger lolis are really small, and milf lolis are around 2-3 meters tall (or 7-9 feet), so the ideal age differs depending on how much of a manlet your are.

I'm a hair under six foot, but I'd go for two foot elves, give or take a few inches.

>be greenland shark
>swim through the briny depths for literally centuries
>you've seen things people wouldn't beleive
>400 years later some faggot catches you in a net while fishing for halibut and you die
>all those memories are lost
>like tears
>in rain

>and milf lolis are around 2-3 meters tall (or 7-9 feet)

nice

Fact: Elven races were created during the earliest stages of table top rpg. Being that one guy was such a looser in real life, he couldn't even imagine projecting his fake character being better then the rest of his party to appease his superiority complex without creating a race that would just be inherently better. So he created a race of not!humans which are totally smartest and can do magic da best and live for 4000 gorillion years! and ever since elves have been a gathering place of degenerates, betafags.

Bonus fact: Edgelords and beta fags have existed since when the first amoeba got cucked from existance when Alphamoeba came and ate his shit.

...

I'm pretty sure that Tolkien created them and took inspiration from different mythologies, which spawned a million shallow copies that completely missed why they were in Tolkiens works in the first place.

I have a theory: The closer we are getting to the weekend, the shittier the elf threads become.

There is no setting in which this is true, though.

What? They just copied Tolkien, and nerfed them massively.

>Tolkien created them
So the theory still stands.

...

This

>Tolkien
>Elven races were created during the earliest stages of table top rpg
>Tolkien
>a loser
Sure.

>Created them
>took inspiration from mythology

I guess Rick Riordan was the creator of the Greek Pantheons.

>2016
>There are people who still support the "Tolkien created everything" bullshit
If anything, early RPG has more in common with Howard, heavily borrowing from his books. Tolkien didn't became a thing up until late 70s within RPG

> No setting where orcs go out of their way to hate on androgynous pretty elves.
Okay.

>Implying that he created them
>Being this retarded

Yeah, I worded that worng. What I meant is that Tolkien got inspired by various myths and made his own elves whose copies we now find in Faerûn, Warhammer fantasy etc.

Robert E. Howard?

No, Robert E. Lee

>If you ask which one want icecream, both them say 'yes'.

WRAWHNG.

Wew, almost got me there. I know that early D&D adopted a lot from Robert E. Howards works, but I never heard of Howard Elves. So, if you know more than me on this topic, please enlighten me.

I'm not even the original user I was just shit posting. I don't think Howard ever did much with elves, I think he meant that the vibe and settings were drawn from a lot of his sword and sorcery style writings

>I was just shit posting
You don't say.

>I think he meant that the vibe and settings were drawn from a lot of his sword and sorcery style writings
Yeah, that's right. But not when it comes to elves. Which was what we were talking about. I don't know of any elves written by Howard either.

Facts: elves are "born" by crawling out of a tree hollow, complete with green clothes and red cap.

Elves have ridiculously large pointed ears and noses.

Elves never reach maturity. There are no female elves.

They have no societies, living alone in the woods and protecting animals and plants, but sometimes attach to and pester adventuring groups for apparently no good reason.

They lose the ability to use magic if separated from their red caps, and will offer gold to have them returned.

Howard didn't have elves. But Howard had what now passes as "Standard Fantasy Setting". Tolkien's world is pretty much unplayable empty void with few main hubs and large swats of NOTHING between them.

Not the original user either, but Aquilonia is pretty much Elven Land without pointy ears.

Best posted.

Aquilonia is pretty much your standard medieval kingdom. There isn't anything elfish about this land.

Does it really? Most countries in Hyperborea seem to have some sort of antiquity, middle-eastern-exotic vibe, or are just northern lands for the barbarians.

FACT: Male elves are incapable of growing facial hair or pubic hair, and their testicles are internal.

Source please?

>liking shota
Kill yourself.

Not who you're arguing with, but the sort of Forgotten Realms/Greyhawk-like story of "one hero or small group of heroes go galivanting over an area for fortune and adventure for no particular reason and maybe save a kingdom or the region if they get in in big trouble but not the world by any means" that pretty close to literally EVERY Forgotten Realms novel or Greyhawk story replicates is much more Howard or Lieber then Tolkien.
Tolkien, despite having lived a very interesting life himself, was not a big fan of "action" and "adventure", perhaps influenced by the fact that his first taste of both things resulted in his participation in one of the bloodiest and most pointless battles in human history and the loss of all but one of his closest friends.

Drop a MUCH less complex version of Tolkien's fantasy races in Howard's and Liber's worlds with their themes and you have a good start on the beginnings of D&D, with some Jack Vance added for spice.

Fuck off I like giant well proportioned women.

>FACT: Male elves are incapable of growing facial hair or pubic hair
So are female elves, according to AD&D 2E.

>The setting's giants are really ancient elves
>Legend holds that the ancient elven homeland is actually the first elf, still sleeping
Shit, it's shota? I thought she was a big girl. This ruins it.

Is that actually how they age?

I assumed Elves aged like a normal human, then just stopped physically aging when they hit the 20 or 30 mark.

They start off a few inches long at birth and grow 1cm per year according to OP's image.

By age 100 they are as tall as a shortstack, by age 200 they're taller than most humans.

>tall as a shortstack
Shortstack is a bodytype and can vary in size.

Murenase! Shiiton Gakuen

No wories, she is a big girl.

He's a normal sized high schooler she's just like 8 or 9 feet tall.

No. OPs pic is just some weird elf shitpost taking the recent findings of Greenland sharks and replacing shark with elf. They age like you describe in pretty much every RPG.

...

>Murenase! Shiiton Gakuen
>It's not hentai
Gay.

...

I found a full one.

I miss him, Veeky Forums.

Fucking newbie cameraman.

I just watched that on the news an hour ago.

This is one of these kinds of threads that the best it could do is just die, but for some reason it had to be bumped.

>Elves take 150 years to become able to survive by themselves with a semblance of a developed mind and body

150 years means many many chances to get eaten by wolves.

Elves are poisonous.

Then how can I kiss them?

You're thinking of dropbears.

>He believes in dropbears
M8, I don't know how to yell you this, but someone was spinning you a silk didgeridoo

DIDF pls go

>sea elves and sharks are assigned to each other at birth, growing together and bonding as siblings would
How would this affect your campaign?

Yes, what are dwarfs?

They make your teeth turn grey

Genetically disfigured humans of short stature.

>Search it and read synopsis
Is this just the japanese version of My Gym Partner's a Monkey? Shit.

> be Greenland shark
> live for centuries
> lack the brain function to form memories so it doesn't matter now does it?

No, a shortstack of pancakes you ninny

We like them because they stay in their mines. Also they hate elves too.

would you say we are partial to them, or do we just tolerate them for as long as they remain useful and reasonable?

You can't have shortstack of pancakes. Shortstack is stacked, pancakes are flat.

What if I told you there was such a thing as... non-flat pancakes?

What? How? WHY?

I mean, you're discussing fantasy tabletop games on a japanese anime based imageboard.

Chances are that you're not exactly the quintessential alpha male yourself.

You're certainly not in a position to call anyone degenerate or beta.

Wouldn't that just be a...cake then?

A batter-burg cake?

Dropbears are venomous, it's different.

>I haven't read about the first age.

>not a shark thread

fuck you to OP

I always though they kill by stunning / surprising victim with the drop and then tearing soft tissues with their claw / teeth before it defend itself. But I guess that's no reason why they wouldn't be venomous...

>That webm
God i love the tsundere shark meme

it gets cuter every time I see it