Take Veeky Forumss advice

>take Veeky Forumss advice
>just join a local FLGS game of 5e
>now I have a girl pregnant and there's a dead raccoon on my roof

Fuck you guys

There is a story here, and it needs to be told. Or its probably just bait... It's bait.

I want story time.

>Or its probably just bait... It's bait.

I wanted to believe

>That 'family guy' style humour
It's both good and bad, I don't know what to think.

I know it's fake but I want a storytime anyway.

>take Veeky Forumss advice
>just join a local FLGS game of 5e
>now I have a broken baseball bat and four counts of assault

Fuck you guys

>getting a girl pregnant
>Veeky Forums's fault
Brother, you can't possibly blame us for that! I'm not saying you shouldn't, it's just not physically possible. This is a board about collecting tiny plastic toys, pretending to be dwarves and yelling at anyone who tries to express any notion of fun.
We hardly know what sex is, the idea of us being responsible for successfully reproducing offspring with a female is just ludicrous!

All according to plan

Keep the child.
He is the chosen one.

I wonder what kind of tactical genius managed to pull this off.

Is the girl at least any good?

Also clean up the racoon.

Congratulations. Pics of the mother ?

Send the girl up to get the raccoon, kick the ladder out on her way back down.
Solve both problems at once.

Hey user, Veeky Forums's done a lot of things. Get virgins laid, get lesbian virgins laid, get gay virgins laid, get user a girlfriend, get user a boyfriend, get user pregnant, get user's girlfriend pregnant, build user's game system, build user's campaign, tell user's kids stories, I've seen it all happen!

Just know from what I've seen is that 90% of ca/tg/irls are lesbians.

Was this all OOC or...

A child born of the mad whispers of the plastic legions, he is burdened with a great fate.

Raise him well, OP, for your child may be our saviour, or our doom.

Make the racoon his charge animal.

I believe it's bait because there's no storytime.

...

Clearly the OP hooked up with a furry girl at the game.

They dated for a while, moved in together.

Then one day OP came home from a long day at the food stamp mines to find her in bed with a tanuki.

In a rage, OP tried to shoot the Tanuki but OP only fires blanks anyway, so then OP took up a knife and chased the Tanuki into the attic, where the Tanuki tried to escape on to the roof but OP finally caught up with him and struck him down.

Coming down from the roof OP told his sobbing gf to take off her fursuit and get out of his life, only for her to raise up one of those pregnancy test kits and show him that she was pregnant with the dead tanuki's child (as you can tell from the little racoon symbol on the test's readout).

Then, shattered and cucked, he came to his computer that evening and posted this thread on Veeky Forums.

there was also that time we told an user's girlfriend that he totally wanted some ecchi loli animu figurine for his birthday.

I wasn't around for that, I think. user, tell me the story please.

Bumping hoping OP delivers a greentext

IC or OOC?

goddammit I can't find the screencap of it right now, anyone else got it?

...

Why is OP a faggot?

danken

Where's the heartwarming story where Veeky Forums helped foster a relationship?

>take Veeky Forumss advice
>just join a local FLGS game of 5e
>now I have a weird camel, 5 accounts of grand larceny and a boyfriend.
god dammit tg

>take Veeky Forumss advice
>join a FLGS game of 5E
>now I'm into amputees and my hubcaps were stolen

>>take Veeky Forumss advice
>>just join a FLGS game of 5e
>have fun

I think i did domething wrong.

...